Scan barcode
A review by therealarkee
Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
0.0
My first read of 2024:
⭐
Boy meets girl: Friends to lovers trope. Boy and girl have famous rock star mothers who used to have a very popular rock band together. The band blew up and the mothers haven’t spoken to each other in 30 years. The boy and girl do a life stream reality show to try and get the band back together: Parent trap- trope.
Her name is Melody and his name is Beat. Don’t even get me started on those names. For the first half of the book I was struggling so hard with the fact he has a dog’s name.
As far as I know this book is being promoted as a Christmas read. Let me tell you now, it is not a Christmas book. The story takes place in December and there is snow. That’s all the Christmas you’re gonna get. It feels like the Christmas part was added later?
The story itself feels like a ok fanfiction for 12 year olds, but then they throw in some seriously bad written “smut”. It felt like I was reading a bad porno written by someone who never even had sex, or a man. For the first half of the book I kept a notepad with all the cringy smut I was reading, I gave up halfway because it was just too much. I will quote you some of the amazingly written smut here:
"She reached down to unzip the sides of her leather ankle boots, trying and failing not to stare at his happy trail while she was down there, but it was so very sexy and unattended Not landscaped, but not abundant. A tease. An amuse-bouche of hair."
" Melody tucked her skirt down to cover her knees and the rasping sound of wool on nylon made Beats mouth go dry."
"Her nipples were slowly drawing into tight points, as if attempting to reach out and brush his chest."
"It was like someone plugged her into a charged outlet and shot every single one of her nerve endings into a chaotic dent."
"Then he made the mistake of looking at her mouth and the zipper of his tuxedo pants turned restrictive. Jesus."
Also, you can not use the word “sex” for intercourse as well as private parts in the same chapter-sentence or book.
If you want a book that makes you laugh and cry (I cried from laughing) and if you like the amazing quotes above this is probably a book for you! I hope you enjoy the read.
⭐
Boy meets girl: Friends to lovers trope. Boy and girl have famous rock star mothers who used to have a very popular rock band together. The band blew up and the mothers haven’t spoken to each other in 30 years. The boy and girl do a life stream reality show to try and get the band back together: Parent trap- trope.
Her name is Melody and his name is Beat. Don’t even get me started on those names. For the first half of the book I was struggling so hard with the fact he has a dog’s name.
As far as I know this book is being promoted as a Christmas read. Let me tell you now, it is not a Christmas book. The story takes place in December and there is snow. That’s all the Christmas you’re gonna get. It feels like the Christmas part was added later?
The story itself feels like a ok fanfiction for 12 year olds, but then they throw in some seriously bad written “smut”. It felt like I was reading a bad porno written by someone who never even had sex, or a man. For the first half of the book I kept a notepad with all the cringy smut I was reading, I gave up halfway because it was just too much. I will quote you some of the amazingly written smut here:
"She reached down to unzip the sides of her leather ankle boots, trying and failing not to stare at his happy trail while she was down there, but it was so very sexy and unattended Not landscaped, but not abundant. A tease. An amuse-bouche of hair."
" Melody tucked her skirt down to cover her knees and the rasping sound of wool on nylon made Beats mouth go dry."
"Her nipples were slowly drawing into tight points, as if attempting to reach out and brush his chest."
"It was like someone plugged her into a charged outlet and shot every single one of her nerve endings into a chaotic dent."
"Then he made the mistake of looking at her mouth and the zipper of his tuxedo pants turned restrictive. Jesus."
Also, you can not use the word “sex” for intercourse as well as private parts in the same chapter-sentence or book.
If you want a book that makes you laugh and cry (I cried from laughing) and if you like the amazing quotes above this is probably a book for you! I hope you enjoy the read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, and Sexual content