A review by entirelybonkerz
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling

5.0

JO ROWLING after typing the last sentence for this book:


SAY WHATEVER the fuck you want, this is possibly one of the most ingenious, well crafted, well written, well developed Children's book out there.

This person sat down, and not only put together an universe where children can do magic, away from their parents, while studying at a British boarding school alongside magical creatures, but this motherfucker sat down and genuinely created

★ DEMENTORS, energy sucking creatures who guard a prison and feed off of your happiness. And the only way to shield yourself from them is to perform a spell that uses your happiest memory for strength. Also, yeah, chocolate helps too. (as an adult this hits so fucking hard)

★ PAINTINGS WHO TALK TO EACH OTHER. Paintings who cover the walls of this magical castle, paintings who have feelings, memories, and communicate with the students. I mean that is not only hilarious, that is so endearing and unique.

★ A TIME TURNER. THE FUCKING TIME TURNER. Not that Rowling has invented it herself but the way she used it in this book? Reading Dumbledore say:

You can save more than one innocent life tonight??!!!?!!?!!?

BRO IF THAT SHIT DOESN'T TOUCH YOU, YOU'RE DEAD INSIDE. DEMENTORS WOULD STARVE TO DEATH IF THEY WERE STUCK IN A CELL WITH YOU, YOU ALREADY HAVE NO HAPPINESS LEFT INSIDE YOURSELF.

★ SNAPE? THE LEVEL OF COMPLEXITY of Snape's character. In a Children's book?? Really? Do I even need to start talking about Sirius and Buckbeak's arc in this book? OK I THOUGHT SO

★ THE NAME OF EVERY SINGLE SPELL

★ HOGSMEAD? DIAGONAL ALLEY? HOGWARTS ITSELF?

★ THE NAME OF EVERY ROOM, EVERY ITEM? THE MARAUDERS MAP?

★ QUIDDITCH? You are going to look at me, sit here and tell me that inventing quidditch from scratch is not the most unbelievable thing? Also, I am mad we got robbed of seeing Cho play Quidditch against Harry on television. Why did no one tell me this bitch was a FEMALE SEEKER FOR RAVENCLAW? That slaps.

And this woman was capable of creating ALL OF THIS AND MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE and still develop all of her characters thoughts, feelings, arcs, emotional baggage? I mean a pet rat here has a more complex arc than all of the "booktok" recommended books' characters I've read about combined.

Anyways, I usually don't cry while reading books. It's nearly impossible. But I did get quite emotional multiple times during this one.

"So you did see your father last night, Harry. . . . You found him inside yourself."

I, Sirius Black, Harry Potter’s godfather, hereby give him permission to visit Hogsmeade on weekends.

Perhaps we should think about dragons at the school entrance. . . .” “Hagrid would like that,”

About Snape: “Fellow seems quite unbalanced,” said Fudge, staring after him. “I’d watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore.” “Oh, he’s not unbalanced,” said Dumbledore quietly. “He’s just suffered a severe disappointment.”

The hippogriff took off into the air. . . . He and his rider became smaller and smaller as Harry gazed after them . . . then a cloud drifted across the moon. . . . They were gone.

“Sirius is locked in Professor Flitwick’s office on the seventh floor. Thirteenth window from the right of the West Tower. If all goes well, you will be able to save more than one innocent life tonight."

Anyway, if you ever want to know what World Building and Character Development in a book is supposed to look like, you just have to read this.

The market is so oversaturated, everyone nowadays think they can write a fantasy book because the internet and KU makes it possible. And this book, THIS CHILDREN'S book, is here to prove to you that no, not everyone can.

Funny, heart wrenching and warming at the same time, creative, unique, well paced, entertaining, imaginative, poignant, artistic, expressive, compelling, engaging...

A fucking world phenomenon, for a damned good reason.

I still have hope that in this mass market oversaturation where only Booktok books are getting deals because their authors have lots of followers, that someone, somewhere, will re-ignite a real passion for literature over their greed for fucking money and we will start seeing real fantasy novels like this one again.