A review by ashwaar
Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates

challenging dark informative medium-paced

4.5

I cannot imagine how it must feel to be a woman in the public sphere and receive innumerable threats and angry outpourings from men. I cannot imagine how you handle being doxxed, your families threatened, being physically and verbally assaulted, and then going on to write a book about the very real dangers these attackers pose, and how no one takes it seriously. We take these threats, and these assaults as generic, as something to be contended with as a woman, instead of trying to stop or prevent the behaviour at its source.

In Men Who Hate Women, Laura Bates explores several online communities including incel (involuntary celibate) groups. She recounts her experiences infiltrating extremely misogynistic, often violent online forums, where groups of angry men will curse against the wrongs they felt they have been dealt in society. Instead of working to better themselves through personal growth and development, they will blame women for their lack of sexual success, and fantasise about a world in which women have no right of choice to a sexual partner, where rape is legal and accepted and where women are not considered human enough to warrant any sort of voice. 

She then takes us on an exploration of other, more socially acceptable but still deeply disturbing and unhinged groups including pick-up artists, men’s rights activists and even mainstream figureheads like Jordan Peterson. By starting us off with the violently misogynistic and delusional incel groups, Bates traces a clear path to show how their ideology trickles down into the mainstream, socially acceptable content. From pick-up artists who hold huge workshops to manipulate and take advantage of their supporters to popular and acceptable ‘mentors’ like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate.

Although it is a bit repetitive at times, I think this is needed so that Bates can get her point across, that these groups are real, bigger and more dangerous than we assume. Another thing that stuck with me is the blame is always, inevitably on women. When an act of mass violence is incited, especially by a young white man, the press is always focused on how society has failed them. They are not treated as a criminal, they are treated as a victim, even more so than the people they killed. This is a difficult, compelling and well-researched read that I think so many people would benefit from reading. As these groups are growing more and more popular and their ethos is becoming more socially acceptable, we need to raise our collective awareness in response. We need to support the confused, vulnerable kids stumbling across these forums and protect the women these actions and rhetorics ultimately affect.
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