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A review by christinareadsontheroad
A Brush with Love by Mazey Eddings
5.0
I have to say that this book has completely overtaken my mind and soul. I have a huge deadline approaching and I thought maybe I’d see if I could sneak in this book on my rest day – and now I have the biggest book hangover I’ve had in months. This book had some serious laugh out loud moments – even on the first few pages, I kept telling my husband, “Ha! Listen to this!” and would crack up at the banter. The give and pull between Harper & Dan, from “meet cute” to friends to lovers? Incredible. And their friend group? Hello, could they be any more fun and supportive?
But, without a doubt, the thing I will remember most about this book is how Harper’s anxiety is portrayed so vividly. I don’t want to give too much away, but the words Eddings uses to describe how it feels to live day-to-day moments with anxiety, I related to on a deep level. There were even parts of the story where I was like, wow, I didn’t realize my anxiety might be the reason I do that too. I felt very seen in this book - for better and for worse.
One thread throughout the book is this idea that Harper knows she is battling anxiety and yet feels like it’s so much a part of her that she can’t imagine seeking outside help – she often says she knows how to cope to avoid panic/anxiety attacks so she’s “good.” People in her life (friends, professors, even Dan) try to support her by sharing ways that therapy and medication could be helpful, but Harper resists. I found myself almost screaming at her at one point to get help. And then I remembered how it took me almost 30 years to come to terms with the fact that my own anxiety was overwhelming me in every corner of my life and I needed some help. I’ll never forget the feelings of failure that came with setting up some counseling sessions through our work EAP. I remember thinking that after the 5 sessions I was ready to “graduate” from therapy (while in the midst of grieving the sudden losses of my aunt and dad - I truly had no clue). A few months later, when the grief and anxiety weren’t going away in some clean timeline (seriously, grief timelines are dumb but that’s for another day), I searched and called and found a new therapist, who I’ve been seeing off and on for a few years now. Ultimately, you’ve got to do what’s best for you if you’re struggling – even when you have supportive people in your corner, I know it’s really hard to take that first step. Sending love to anyone else who felt *seen* in this book – I’m right there with you.
But, without a doubt, the thing I will remember most about this book is how Harper’s anxiety is portrayed so vividly. I don’t want to give too much away, but the words Eddings uses to describe how it feels to live day-to-day moments with anxiety, I related to on a deep level. There were even parts of the story where I was like, wow, I didn’t realize my anxiety might be the reason I do that too. I felt very seen in this book - for better and for worse.
One thread throughout the book is this idea that Harper knows she is battling anxiety and yet feels like it’s so much a part of her that she can’t imagine seeking outside help – she often says she knows how to cope to avoid panic/anxiety attacks so she’s “good.” People in her life (friends, professors, even Dan) try to support her by sharing ways that therapy and medication could be helpful, but Harper resists. I found myself almost screaming at her at one point to get help. And then I remembered how it took me almost 30 years to come to terms with the fact that my own anxiety was overwhelming me in every corner of my life and I needed some help. I’ll never forget the feelings of failure that came with setting up some counseling sessions through our work EAP. I remember thinking that after the 5 sessions I was ready to “graduate” from therapy (while in the midst of grieving the sudden losses of my aunt and dad - I truly had no clue). A few months later, when the grief and anxiety weren’t going away in some clean timeline (seriously, grief timelines are dumb but that’s for another day), I searched and called and found a new therapist, who I’ve been seeing off and on for a few years now. Ultimately, you’ve got to do what’s best for you if you’re struggling – even when you have supportive people in your corner, I know it’s really hard to take that first step. Sending love to anyone else who felt *seen* in this book – I’m right there with you.