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A review by leonardtalbot
Pan by Michael Clune
4.0
Not having experienced panic attacks myself, that is until reading this book, I was unclear what to expect. I now know what a panic attack may feel like (theoretically) as the pages of this novel engrossed me so deeply that my brain was on fire. This book is a weird, wonderful coming of age story condensed to two years of a youth's life as he uncovers and self diagnosis his psychological trauma.
The son of an immigrant, Nicholas, is cast away by his Russian mother to live with his father who is never around. Nicholas after experiencing his first panic attack seeks medical help but their only solution is to breathe into a paper bag. Knowing this will not suffice, Nicholas seeks to find other forms of self medication through the help of a couple found friends in a barn.
We experience acute moments of attack through the eyes of Nicholas and in some ways, through Pan, who Nicholas is convinced lives inside his head. There is so much to unpack here but underneath all of the philosophical there is a story of family and the damage done by the parent's choices. I loved watching Nicholas become more in tune with his spirit, spending time to meditate and finally realize the source of his pain. Michael wrote from a place that feels well experienced and knowing that his previous work dealt with Heroin addiction, I can tell he has felt some lows and sought inner peace through his writing.
Overall I couldn't help but feel this book was a mix of a much shorter [b:Infinite Jest|6759|Infinite Jest|David Foster Wallace|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1446876799l/6759._SY75_.jpg|3271542] with the humor and weirdness of [b:Bunny|53285047|Bunny (Bunny, #1)|Mona Awad|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1588043687l/53285047._SX50_.jpg|58221942] which ultimately came together in at just over 300 pages. I think fans of heady literary fiction will gobble this one up but don't be shocked to see some major outlets boast of this novels excellence because underneath all the heavy messaging this is really a story of resilience and overcoming the obstacles we inherit and the realization that we alone are our only caretaker.
The son of an immigrant, Nicholas, is cast away by his Russian mother to live with his father who is never around. Nicholas after experiencing his first panic attack seeks medical help but their only solution is to breathe into a paper bag. Knowing this will not suffice, Nicholas seeks to find other forms of self medication through the help of a couple found friends in a barn.
We experience acute moments of attack through the eyes of Nicholas and in some ways, through Pan, who Nicholas is convinced lives inside his head. There is so much to unpack here but underneath all of the philosophical there is a story of family and the damage done by the parent's choices. I loved watching Nicholas become more in tune with his spirit, spending time to meditate and finally realize the source of his pain. Michael wrote from a place that feels well experienced and knowing that his previous work dealt with Heroin addiction, I can tell he has felt some lows and sought inner peace through his writing.
Overall I couldn't help but feel this book was a mix of a much shorter [b:Infinite Jest|6759|Infinite Jest|David Foster Wallace|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1446876799l/6759._SY75_.jpg|3271542] with the humor and weirdness of [b:Bunny|53285047|Bunny (Bunny, #1)|Mona Awad|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1588043687l/53285047._SX50_.jpg|58221942] which ultimately came together in at just over 300 pages. I think fans of heady literary fiction will gobble this one up but don't be shocked to see some major outlets boast of this novels excellence because underneath all the heavy messaging this is really a story of resilience and overcoming the obstacles we inherit and the realization that we alone are our only caretaker.