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junkie_forthe_written_word 's review for:

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
1.0

Oh Jesus. I can't explain the millions of ways I hated this book. So I will just post the conversation I had with some of my friends about it.


~~~~~~~~~ Below there be spoilers~~~~~~~~~~~


Tia - I just finished reading "Love in the Time of Cholera" and would like to suggest a rename to "Love in the Time of Cocksuckers." I'm going to go cut myself now.

A - Gah!

S - Ah. I loved that book. I actually own it. For something completely different, I started reading The Omega Point by Whitley Strieber. Solar storms, TPTB hiding in underground bunkers... It was on the paperback rack of the grocery store and I couldn't pass it up. LOL

~~~~INSERT RANDOMNESS~~~~~

S - So, Tia... who do you think had the more tragic life... Fermina or Florentino? Or someone else?

Tia - S, I think I hate everyone in the book. I mean look at our protagonists: 1) A woman who changes her mind about being in love in a split second, marries for money, and thinks black people smell funny. 2) A girly man who can't get over his first love but instead makes his penpal crush his excuse for avoiding having a normal life and who sleeps with anything that moves including a child who is entrusted to him as guardian. "Come kiss Uncle's dickey-bird." 3) A man who eats asparagus so that he can smell his piss and fondles his patients.

Yes I hate everyone.

Surely I haven't seen a more sad pathetic pack of losers since the "T"-Birds in Grease 2.

S - LOL It sure ain't a fairy tale, that's for sure, but if that's what you were expecting, I can see why you hate everybody. :)

Tia - I really wasn't expecting anything. I vaguely remembered hearing about it and I saw it had won all kinds of awards and it was on sale at the bookstore. Damn you bargain bin, damn you!

S - I think that's what I loved about it; everyone is so imperfect. It's probably the least romantic romantic novel.

W - lol oh i hate that.

Tia - S... there's imperfect and then there's fucked up. I am imperfect and the guy who smears his fecal matter on the wall of the public bathroom is fucked up. All these people were fucked up.

S - LOL! To each his own. :*

Tia - Indeed. I like reading about somewhat average people who have a good story and you like reading about fucked up people who sniff their husbands underwear. We're all different like that. :p

S2 - Ew seriously? Underwear sniffing? That's a deal-breaker for me.

S - LOL Ya know... I love all types of stories. This is another personal favorite. It may be more to your liking. http://www.amazon.com/Roaches-Have-King-Five-Title/dp/1852427469/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Tia - Hey that actually sounds pretty funny. You might like Perdido Street Station, it's not funny but it's suitably skewed. http://www.amazon.com/Perdido-Street-Station-China-Mieville/dp/0345459407/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1308339472&sr=1-3

J - Good for you, Tia. You didn't fall into the trap. You're not supposed to like any of those people. Those who try think they're being all romantic, but really, they are screwed up people. You didn't catch the disease. ; )

S - J is correct. :) Tia... I can lend you Roaches if you'd like.

Tia - So the point of the book was to ramble on and on about every little insignificant, and sometimes perverted, detail of the mundane lives of 3 people who you're meant to strongly dislike who don't, in actuality, love each other? ::bangs head against the wall::

W - suspended belief takes many forms Tia.... :p


~~~~~~~

So mixed reviews from my friends, but I hated it. Hated it. Serious serious burn it if I see it again hate. We're talking Ethan Frome levels of hate here.