Review by ellisaspen - The Phoenix Keeper

ellisaspen 's review for:

The Phoenix Keeper by S.A. MacLean

DID NOT FINISH: 7%

Notes from the first hour of the book:

15min in, and there’s one thing I know for certain about Aila: She hates children. Problem is, zoos are crawling with children. So I’m unsure why tf she became a zookeeper and not, idk, a field conservationist, if she loathes kids this much. Her love of magical creatures is in part because of going to the zoo as a child, yet she has zero grace or patience for the kids who roll on the ground, etc. Baffling to me that she chose the job she has, or at least that she’s still there and didn’t leave after 6months of enduring the tortures of children (eyeroll). Not a good start.
Why is a notoriously thieving bird loose in the aviary to sh!t on people and steal their stuff, including not just sunglasses but also phones? That seems like a bad way to, ya know, encourage repeat visits from visitors (ie revenue generators). Is it their fault for not “reading the warning signs posted,” or is it the zoo’s fault for not creating a healthy and safe environment for both humans and animals?
One of the reasons Aila gives for preferring birds: unlike a magical primate that is an excellent verbal mimic, birds…don’t mimic? Do parrots not exist in this world?
Oh look, Aila can’t do public speaking, which is a significant aspect of her job. She hates public speaking and sucks at it, even after three years, and she also hates the general public and their general(ly stupid) questions. Idk about the real world, but in this world zookeepers are half-animal caretakers and half-educators, so again, why does she have this job? How did she get it to begin with, and if she’s that sh!t at public speaking, why hasn’t anyone at the very least relocated her to a different assignment?

So why the DNF after a mere hour (a new record for me?)? We have a main character whom the author claims is just shy and introverted, but is actually obnoxious and whiny. And listen, I, too, am shy and introverted—and hella autistic and awkward—but I hope to god I’m nothing like Aila in terms of immaturity. You can be all those things and still be an interesting, decent human being with a personality.

Aila is also snooty toward the zoo’s attractions, acting like she’s better than others because she doesn’t care as much about the charismatic and showy animals at the zoo. Newsflash: Charismatic animals are huge draws for attendance to zoos. Also, showy feedings or literal shows are huge draws for attendance to zoos. Zoos exist for two reasons: 1) Showcase rare and exotic animals, and 2) Conserve endangered species. The primary reason they exist, however, is that first one. You can’t have a zoo if people aren’t excited and going to it because no people means no tickets means no revenue. If you have an issue with that, don’t work at a zoo; work at an animal conservation center or an animal sanctuary, which may still allow in the gross general public and gasp! children, but which primarily focuses on that second point instead of the first. Or, work in the field studying these creatures in their natural habitats. Yeah, maybe you can’t work directly with your beloved critically endangered phoenixes, but at least you won’t have to deal with the absolute worst horror of the world, ie the pre-adolescent human.

The book synopsis states: “The Phoenix Keeper is a fierce joy of a cozy fantasy novel with a soul-restoring queer romance at its heart, for fans of The House in the Cerulean Sea and Legends and Lattes.” This is a wild book to invoke Legends and Lattes on considering that book had likeable characters and an interesting setting, all wrapped in skillful writing that makes you taste and feel the comforts of Viv’s shop (maybe I should just reread that??). This book, however, isn’t cozy, nor is it joyful, and I guess my soul will remain withered since I don’t have the patience to let it be restored by the queer romance, which hadn’t been introduced yet. Instead, this book is bland and obnoxious—which is where I see the similarities with The House in the Cerulean Sea.