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A review by shelley_pearson
If Someone Says "You Complete Me," RUN!: Whoopi's Big Book of Relationships by Whoopi Goldberg
3.0
I chose this because I was looking for a fun book. It was pretty fun (for me), but she presents some ideas that are very different than what we’re generally taught to want. The big thing is that she doesn’t think that everyone is meant to be partnered. I think most people are raised to believe that having a partner or spouse is this ideal that we should all be striving for. But Whoopi doesn’t think that’s the case, and uses herself as an example of someone who isn’t meant to be in a relationship. She also presents some reasons to leave relationships, which could come across as a huge downer. When you’re in a bad relationship, I feel like the natural thing is to want to fix it or hope that your partner will change or improve and that you’ll end up with this “happy ever after” that we’re all trained to want, starting when we’re very young. Being told to end the relationship can feel really harsh, even if you know it’s not working.
She focuses a lot on cheating. Like she says over and over that you can’t change another person, and that you need to be upfront with your partner about yourself. I think she assumes a lot more self-awareness than most people actually have. The example she uses a lot is like “I’m a player, so if you’re going to be with me, you have to accept that.” And the other big thing is that the person being told this needs to accept it at face value, and not think “Ok, but I can change them.” I just think people aren’t that honest with themselves! I think that the player wants the security of a partner, so they’re not going to be upfront about being a player. And the other person who wants to be monogs but also really wants to be partnered would be like “well my love can make them be monogamous” and jump in anyway. Maybe I’m being too cynical?
I was hoping for a little bit more about Whoopi’s life, but this book is mostly advice with a few little tidbits about herself thrown in. Like how she thinks it’s good to have some friends who you can go to for a booty call, or as she calls it, a “hit and run.” She uses the term “hit and run” a LOT, lol. She also comes across as a little bit of an old fogey at times, like complaining about how people use their phones so much or how you can’t get to know a person via text, or proclaiming things like “no glove, no love!” I mean, yeah, sure, no glove no love, but it just seems like such a dated phrase. So I thought that was funny, how the book is a combo of radical ideas like “you don’t have to have a partner to have sex” and “damn kids spending so much time on their phones!”
There were definitely funny parts, and it’s a quick read, so I recommend it, but more if you’re looking for validation that not being in a relationship (or that being in a relationship that’s less mainstream) is ok than if you’re looking for a Whoopi Goldberg memoir.
She focuses a lot on cheating. Like she says over and over that you can’t change another person, and that you need to be upfront with your partner about yourself. I think she assumes a lot more self-awareness than most people actually have. The example she uses a lot is like “I’m a player, so if you’re going to be with me, you have to accept that.” And the other big thing is that the person being told this needs to accept it at face value, and not think “Ok, but I can change them.” I just think people aren’t that honest with themselves! I think that the player wants the security of a partner, so they’re not going to be upfront about being a player. And the other person who wants to be monogs but also really wants to be partnered would be like “well my love can make them be monogamous” and jump in anyway. Maybe I’m being too cynical?
I was hoping for a little bit more about Whoopi’s life, but this book is mostly advice with a few little tidbits about herself thrown in. Like how she thinks it’s good to have some friends who you can go to for a booty call, or as she calls it, a “hit and run.” She uses the term “hit and run” a LOT, lol. She also comes across as a little bit of an old fogey at times, like complaining about how people use their phones so much or how you can’t get to know a person via text, or proclaiming things like “no glove, no love!” I mean, yeah, sure, no glove no love, but it just seems like such a dated phrase. So I thought that was funny, how the book is a combo of radical ideas like “you don’t have to have a partner to have sex” and “damn kids spending so much time on their phones!”
There were definitely funny parts, and it’s a quick read, so I recommend it, but more if you’re looking for validation that not being in a relationship (or that being in a relationship that’s less mainstream) is ok than if you’re looking for a Whoopi Goldberg memoir.