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captwinghead 's review for:

4.0

Judge me. Judge the hell out of me but I could not put this down.

Okay, so this is a Yaoi Manga. Obviously. And by that cover, you know exactly what you're getting. There are quite a few sex scenes in this series and none of them loving or romantic.

This is either the 4th or the 5th manga I've read and I this is my favorite! Hear me out.

** Mentions of sexual assault **

This is the story of Yashiro, the leader Shinseikai and Chikara Doumeki, a former cop who becomes Yashiro's bodyguard. At first, Yashiro gets off on trying to make Doumeki uncomfortable because he finds him attractive. He's speaks very frankly of his sex life and has sex with men in front of him. Again, these encounters aren't at all loving and romantic. Yashiro gets off on sex where he's basically treated like an object. His partners can be cruel, uncaring, and rough. At times, it was kind of hard to read.

Yashiro was sexually assaulted by his stepfather as a child and that changed the way he views relationships. Doumeki witnessed his father sexually assaulting his younger sister and that changed the way he views sex, in general. Yashiro is a masochist and shies away from his partners getting too attached and Doumeki is impotent. It's a formula for a relationship that you might think shouldn't work at all, but I think it's kind of obvious how this would work.

I won't spoil what comes later, although I've read much further than this volume.

Doumeki wanted to work for Yashiro because he finds him beautiful. This series is full of Doumeki doing everything he can to stay by Yashiro's side and it's really moving. Despite several situations that should be off putting, Doumeki stays and dedicates his life to trying to keep Yashiro safe. It's one of the most complex, endearing relationships I've ever read. Ever.

Anyway, this isn't for everyone. I mean that because some of the themes may be a bit much for someone. Judge me all you want but I put other books down to keep reading this one because I had to know what happened next.

5 stars.