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smlozinski 's review for:
On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep
by Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam
I read this a while ago but forgot to review it for some reason.
I googled this book before I read it and was told it would be a child torture manual, which of course it isn’t. I think 99% of it (at least more current editions, maybe they were crazy in 1994 or whatever, I’ve never read the older copies so I have no idea) is basic common sense advice. “Cry it out” is basically not mentioned, the most it says is that a little crying won’t hurt your baby, which of course it won’t.
As with Babywise II, I mostly ignored the nursing specific stuff because I just feel confident in my breastfeeding knowledge already. However, I do think the “parent directed feeding” (PDF) approach is helpful and most of all “eat wake sleep” was an absolute game changer for me compared to my first child. If you read this book and implemented only that part of the routine I believe you would almost certainly see a more calm child and a less hectic day. :)
I also disregard outdated sleep advice ie using blankets or putting baby to sleep on tummy (I don’t think they directly suggest to do this necessarily but I can’t remember the wording). I’m pretty cautious with sleep safe stuff.
I think with any parenting book, you could face problems if you treat it like the Bible. Same with homeschooling curriculum or anything else. I find this book EXTREMELY valuable as a guide, but as the authors acknowledge, your instincts and knowledge as a mother are above any routine.
I find the idea that having a baby on a routine would inherently lead to failure to thrive (you’ll see this claimed on various articles about Babywise, it’s a pretty misleading claim as they say “the AAP says” but it’s one AAP doctor in what amounts to an AAP news site. It’s not even a study, it’s an opinion) pretty ridiculous. Preemies in the NICU are on a routine, yet you expect full term healthy infants will fade away if placed on one?
My daughter has been on the low end of the growth curve her entire life. She was always VERY sleepy as a newborn. Had I “fed on cue” and not fed or attempted to feed her every two hours, she may have had genuine issues gaining weight (my fully demand fed firstborn also wouldn’t even latch initially and was extremely tired for weeks, too. Go figure…). She was clearly not able to communicate her needs very well for the first month or more of life.
You may say, “who would take feeding on demand that literally? That’s just incompetent parenting.” Well, I feel the same way about schedules/routines including Babywise. They’re a guide - not a rule book. I’m ultimately in charge of doing whatever my child needs.
That said, my older child was very much fed on demand, bed shared until 11 months old, and so forth, and he’s a happy healthy kid, too. But so far things are MUCH more harmonious this time around.
I googled this book before I read it and was told it would be a child torture manual, which of course it isn’t. I think 99% of it (at least more current editions, maybe they were crazy in 1994 or whatever, I’ve never read the older copies so I have no idea) is basic common sense advice. “Cry it out” is basically not mentioned, the most it says is that a little crying won’t hurt your baby, which of course it won’t.
As with Babywise II, I mostly ignored the nursing specific stuff because I just feel confident in my breastfeeding knowledge already. However, I do think the “parent directed feeding” (PDF) approach is helpful and most of all “eat wake sleep” was an absolute game changer for me compared to my first child. If you read this book and implemented only that part of the routine I believe you would almost certainly see a more calm child and a less hectic day. :)
I also disregard outdated sleep advice ie using blankets or putting baby to sleep on tummy (I don’t think they directly suggest to do this necessarily but I can’t remember the wording). I’m pretty cautious with sleep safe stuff.
I think with any parenting book, you could face problems if you treat it like the Bible. Same with homeschooling curriculum or anything else. I find this book EXTREMELY valuable as a guide, but as the authors acknowledge, your instincts and knowledge as a mother are above any routine.
I find the idea that having a baby on a routine would inherently lead to failure to thrive (you’ll see this claimed on various articles about Babywise, it’s a pretty misleading claim as they say “the AAP says” but it’s one AAP doctor in what amounts to an AAP news site. It’s not even a study, it’s an opinion) pretty ridiculous. Preemies in the NICU are on a routine, yet you expect full term healthy infants will fade away if placed on one?
My daughter has been on the low end of the growth curve her entire life. She was always VERY sleepy as a newborn. Had I “fed on cue” and not fed or attempted to feed her every two hours, she may have had genuine issues gaining weight (my fully demand fed firstborn also wouldn’t even latch initially and was extremely tired for weeks, too. Go figure…). She was clearly not able to communicate her needs very well for the first month or more of life.
You may say, “who would take feeding on demand that literally? That’s just incompetent parenting.” Well, I feel the same way about schedules/routines including Babywise. They’re a guide - not a rule book. I’m ultimately in charge of doing whatever my child needs.
That said, my older child was very much fed on demand, bed shared until 11 months old, and so forth, and he’s a happy healthy kid, too. But so far things are MUCH more harmonious this time around.