Scan barcode
A review by lulujoanis
I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya
reflective
tense
medium-paced
4.5
"I wanted my body to be in a constant state of silent movement, immersed in the illusion of short-term purpose, for fear that any inertia would remind me of death"
Required reading: so brilliant, so educational even to me as a trans woman (so I can't even imagine the lessons a cis person could learn from this!)
Admittedly, in the middle, some assumptions Vivek made about other people's genders, while she was trying to make a point against gender assumption, made me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm raw myself, because "When I was a man" is a particularly triggering sentiment to me, less than 3 months into my own transition.
But the end sold me. Very cleverly, she allowed herself to express these contradictions, as all closeted trans / gnc people, and newly realized trans / gnc people do in the search for language to describe and rationalize their identity and existences. And she deconstructed these hypocrisies by, at the end of her threads of logic, memoir, and queer theory, reversing expectations- she mourns her beard and biceps from "when she was a man", like my own complicated relationship with my own facial hair. It's the ultimate argument for gender abolition- even for the betterment of the men that hurt her, and us trans people.
Lots of important race philosophy, too, for the light-skinned queers among us.
Required reading: so brilliant, so educational even to me as a trans woman (so I can't even imagine the lessons a cis person could learn from this!)
Admittedly, in the middle, some assumptions Vivek made about other people's genders, while she was trying to make a point against gender assumption, made me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm raw myself, because "When I was a man" is a particularly triggering sentiment to me, less than 3 months into my own transition.
But the end sold me. Very cleverly, she allowed herself to express these contradictions, as all closeted trans / gnc people, and newly realized trans / gnc people do in the search for language to describe and rationalize their identity and existences. And she deconstructed these hypocrisies by, at the end of her threads of logic, memoir, and queer theory, reversing expectations- she mourns her beard and biceps from "when she was a man", like my own complicated relationship with my own facial hair. It's the ultimate argument for gender abolition- even for the betterment of the men that hurt her, and us trans people.
Lots of important race philosophy, too, for the light-skinned queers among us.
Content Warnings
Minor: Transphobia and Xenophobia