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A review by roctothorpe
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I've been a fan of Stephanie Foo for years through her work on This American Life and this audiobook is probably one of the best I have listened to, especially the recorded sessions between her and her therapist.
This book changed me. I was moved to tears, not by the harrowing account of abuse that Stephanie suffered, but by her persistence to heal herself. She writes about her trauma and Asian American mental health with nuance and rawness. I cried tears of relief and joy alongside her seeing the love that she found in the later parts of the book. Through reading this, I realized so much about myself, like how I chase on-paper success to fill the void, how some of my own behaviors are dissociation, and it motivates me to examine myself more closely and with more grace. I'm amazed and inspired at how despite facing challenges, Stephanie has this determination that things can get better. Her story gave me so much hope - that it's okay to have some things you never get over, and that we are worthy of forgiveness, love, and healing.
“Here’s a theory: Maybe I had not really been broken this whole time. Maybe I had been a human—flawed and still growing but full of light nonetheless. All this time, I had received plenty of love, but I'd given it, too. Unbeknownst to me, I had been scattering goodness all around like fun-size chocolates accidentally falling out of my purse as I moved through the world. Perhaps the only real thing that was broken was the image I had of myself—punishing and unfair, narrow and hypocritical. Perhaps what was really happening was that, along with all of my flaws, I was a fucking wonder.”
This book changed me. I was moved to tears, not by the harrowing account of abuse that Stephanie suffered, but by her persistence to heal herself. She writes about her trauma and Asian American mental health with nuance and rawness. I cried tears of relief and joy alongside her seeing the love that she found in the later parts of the book. Through reading this, I realized so much about myself, like how I chase on-paper success to fill the void, how some of my own behaviors are dissociation, and it motivates me to examine myself more closely and with more grace. I'm amazed and inspired at how despite facing challenges, Stephanie has this determination that things can get better. Her story gave me so much hope - that it's okay to have some things you never get over, and that we are worthy of forgiveness, love, and healing.
“Here’s a theory: Maybe I had not really been broken this whole time. Maybe I had been a human—flawed and still growing but full of light nonetheless. All this time, I had received plenty of love, but I'd given it, too. Unbeknownst to me, I had been scattering goodness all around like fun-size chocolates accidentally falling out of my purse as I moved through the world. Perhaps the only real thing that was broken was the image I had of myself—punishing and unfair, narrow and hypocritical. Perhaps what was really happening was that, along with all of my flaws, I was a fucking wonder.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse