A review by kimball_hansen
Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife by Barbara Bradley Hagerty

5.0

Great book!! Makes me more hopeful for crappy middle age (although the 50's are good, just not looking forward to the 40's).

Let's dive into the notes:

She said that the 40's, 50's, 60's are most critical for your life. And these years are a research wasteland because no one is studying them. Researchers study the young and the old.

To those who say life is boring, haven't lived through middle age.

80% of men suffer through a midlife crises. But only one out of 10 people experience a genuine mid life crises. People will label a death or an unexpected firing during their middle years as a mid life crises but these can happen at any time. Most that make it through the mid life crises have a common attribute: love. They have people that they love and in return love them, like a spouse and kids. They provided a shelter from the wind, instead of facing the storm alone.

Be identified by your passions and not your resume.

A hopeless midlife can blossom into wholesome old age. A good midlife is an intentional one.

Midlife people can't make all the choices in life or "be anything" like a young person can but they have more than what the mid life crises culture likes to lead them to believe. They can make more informed choices now than at 25 or 35. They can gather all their experience that has shaped them and add it to things they are good at to focus on the next half of their life.

Crystallized (experience) intelligence improves over time. Fluid intelligence dips over time.

We need to challenge our brains more and do less procedural tasks.

Friendships at midlife are a little like a smoke detector, you need them in theory but they can be a nuisance to keep up, especially if you are juggling, children, aging parents, and a career. So you let them run out of juice. But you don't really miss them until the house begins to burn up and you wish you had a few firemen nearby.

Friends are the surest defense against one of the most ruthless killers: isolation. If you want to live a long and healthy life, invest in friends, particularly at midlife. Friendships are different in your middle ages because there's not as many significant events in life like marriage, baby, graduation. But they demand more. Friends are the Swiss army knife of relationships, they can do it all. People will a large circle of friends are less likely die early than those with not as many friends.

Friends aren't a luxury in mid life they are a necessity.

I don't understand how she lost her closest friends during middle age. Her example wasn't very detailed.

Humans can chuckle 150 people in our networks. Inner circle is 5, close but not intimidate is 15, etc.

The way you keep your friendships going is constantly update each other on what's interesting.

Ages 45 - 65 are loneliest ages.

Education delays dementia. You get it slower, but when you do it goes quickly. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

A positive outlook on life helps the brain more nimble and resistant to Alzheimer's. The brain is the only organ that is plasticity.

No partner checks every box, if you abandon a pretty good marriage to find the missing box, oftentimes you lose more than you gain.

The secret of midlife is learning a hobby. Something you can work towards and improve on.

Some incidents can affect a person more than another incident like overcoming cancer vs a divorce because one could shatter your confidence in the future.

She's very optimistic about finding love during the midlife I guess that's because she was able to.