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sidneydanielle 's review for:
Fearless
by Lauren Roberts
DID NOT FINISH: 2%
i paused this a couple months ago hoping i’d manage to get through it eventually but trying again i physically cannot force myself through this writing 🤐 lauren seems so sweet & watching her succeed has been so amazing but her work at this point in time just isn’t my taste at all.
i do think fearless’ writing has noticeably improved from powerless & reckless but those slight reprieves are short & infrequent among the same overdone “tongue in cheek” style still prevalent throughout the character voice, dialogue, character arcs & motivations, lackluster plot, and nonexistent worldbuilding. it comes across really inexperienced, shallow, and juvenile to me, not to be dismissed as just younger ya-focused but as mediocre work. i'm just not sure first person suits lauren's writing after reading the prologue, which i feel like worked better because it had the room for flowery writing to swell without seeming overbearing & it bore that emotional distance from the character/s whereas that becomes detrimental in first person. ubiquitously, lauren also has a habit of making vague tumblr viral-esque sentences on top of an absence of either forethought or trust in the reader that she meets with spelling even the simplest things out repeatedly to get them across. it’s almost like lauren struggles letting her words speak for themselves & always has to follow up with an ersatz reiteration or something otherwise redundant to guarantee her point has been received—like how the opening line of fearless is a callback to the opening lines of the first and second books but is cut short in poignance or evocation by the next sentence hammering in the same parallel with monologue paedyn has had multiple times across all three books verbatim.
another example is the following quote from page one, where interesting & engaging writing is bookended by unnecessary, weak, & melodramatic introspection.
i do think fearless’ writing has noticeably improved from powerless & reckless but those slight reprieves are short & infrequent among the same overdone “tongue in cheek” style still prevalent throughout the character voice, dialogue, character arcs & motivations, lackluster plot, and nonexistent worldbuilding. it comes across really inexperienced, shallow, and juvenile to me, not to be dismissed as just younger ya-focused but as mediocre work. i'm just not sure first person suits lauren's writing after reading the prologue, which i feel like worked better because it had the room for flowery writing to swell without seeming overbearing & it bore that emotional distance from the character/s whereas that becomes detrimental in first person. ubiquitously, lauren also has a habit of making vague tumblr viral-esque sentences on top of an absence of either forethought or trust in the reader that she meets with spelling even the simplest things out repeatedly to get them across. it’s almost like lauren struggles letting her words speak for themselves & always has to follow up with an ersatz reiteration or something otherwise redundant to guarantee her point has been received—like how the opening line of fearless is a callback to the opening lines of the first and second books but is cut short in poignance or evocation by the next sentence hammering in the same parallel with monologue paedyn has had multiple times across all three books verbatim.
another example is the following quote from page one, where interesting & engaging writing is bookended by unnecessary, weak, & melodramatic introspection.
I blink at the shiny floor, staring at the shell of a girl reflected up at me. Her face is streaked with dirt, eyes haunted by a future she hasn't yet seen and never thought she would. Silver hair dusts her shoulders, as pale as the sweaty face it sticks to. She sways, like one might on the shoes of a loved one. Hands are cuffed behind her back, blood leaking from tattered skin.
She is shambles. She is haunted.
She is to be a bride.
not to mention the following line about paedyn’s denial (again, overworked & out of place considering we’ve spent 1,000+ pages in her & kai’s heads with no real evolving circumstances for both the reader and the two characters to adjust to; it just makes pae seem dense) and its look into how lauren’s verbiage can at times feel clunky:
But that can't be true. I took his everything from him. And he is going to kill me for it. He has to.
you could also note the overtly directionless/without-intention storytelling choices made that are shown within the jarring blend of first person and third person phrasing throughout paedyn’s inner thoughts.
these issues are clear from the first page alone & further elucidated as you continue. (i will also never shut up about how insufferable kai is, lk he is my biggest opp i meet everything he says with my fist raised). also factoring in the repeated failure to catch typos & the like before publication even in the bonus b&n content, it squashes hope for improvement or payoff early on & disheartens the reader from not giving up on the book/series.
i’m curious to see if approaching an entirely new/independent idea & story would ameliorate any of these criticisms considering powerless is a world lauren started at 18, but it sounds like she intends to stay writing within the universe for the near future so i’m just going to tune out & celebrate her from afar
🎉🥂
these issues are clear from the first page alone & further elucidated as you continue. (i will also never shut up about how insufferable kai is, lk he is my biggest opp i meet everything he says with my fist raised). also factoring in the repeated failure to catch typos & the like before publication even in the bonus b&n content, it squashes hope for improvement or payoff early on & disheartens the reader from not giving up on the book/series.
i’m curious to see if approaching an entirely new/independent idea & story would ameliorate any of these criticisms considering powerless is a world lauren started at 18, but it sounds like she intends to stay writing within the universe for the near future so i’m just going to tune out & celebrate her from afar
🎉🥂