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A review by snowbenton
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
2.0
I KNOW that children's books are very often cringe, but this one is too much for my adult millennial heart. From the Dursleys, to Dobby, to the Whomping Willow, even before we get to Hogwarts I was reading through my fingers because the secondhand embarrassment was making me want to end my own life via a mandrake's cry.
I did like that no one died from the basilisk, and it was very clever how each one of them got petrified. Hermione is a lot better in this one too, though Harry and Ron have overcompensated for her by becoming even more stupid.
Once again the adults are the worst. Molly Weasley publicly humiliates Ron via Howler, which I could almost forgive, but I think it bears mention that not only did the Weasley parents leave 12 year old Harry and Ron at the platform alone, but Ron was so terrified of getting in trouble by being late to school that he stole the flying car rather than wait for his parents to return. The Dursleys are foul brutes. Snape's behavior remains wildly inappropriate for an education setting with children. At one point Harry is in Dumbledore's office after once again stumbling across the petrified body of a classmate and Dumbledore asks if Harry wants to tell him anything and then sends him on his way without even asking if his regrown arm feels better. Also, McGonagall is mad at Ron for not being able to transfigure a button when his wand is broken? WHY CAN'T YOU HELP HIM YOU ARE A TEACHER AND CAN DO MAGIC.
Other things I also hate: Harry never offering to share his money with the Weasleys. At least buy your BEST FRIEND A NEW WAND, YOU SELFISH ASSHOLE. Magic food? The Weasleys conjured a huge feast via magic. If they can repair things and create food of out of nowhere with magic, why are they poor. And if food can be conjured, why are there house elves at all. And seriously these people need an actual education because if they had learned even a little bit about WWII they might not have let Voldemort get so strong in the first place. The discrimination between the houses: Crabbe and Goyle don't even have lines, they are just lackeys; every Slytherin is described as ugly or sneaky or both; the Hufflepuffs are all scared babies.
The best part of this book is the line "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
Once again the adults are the worst. Molly Weasley publicly humiliates Ron via Howler, which I could almost forgive, but I think it bears mention that not only did the Weasley parents leave 12 year old Harry and Ron at the platform alone, but Ron was so terrified of getting in trouble by being late to school that he stole the flying car rather than wait for his parents to return. The Dursleys are foul brutes. Snape's behavior remains wildly inappropriate for an education setting with children. At one point Harry is in Dumbledore's office after once again stumbling across the petrified body of a classmate and Dumbledore asks if Harry wants to tell him anything and then sends him on his way without even asking if his regrown arm feels better. Also, McGonagall is mad at Ron for not being able to transfigure a button when his wand is broken? WHY CAN'T YOU HELP HIM YOU ARE A TEACHER AND CAN DO MAGIC.
Other things I also hate: Harry never offering to share his money with the Weasleys. At least buy your BEST FRIEND A NEW WAND, YOU SELFISH ASSHOLE. Magic food? The Weasleys conjured a huge feast via magic. If they can repair things and create food of out of nowhere with magic, why are they poor. And if food can be conjured, why are there house elves at all. And seriously these people need an actual education because if they had learned even a little bit about WWII they might not have let Voldemort get so strong in the first place. The discrimination between the houses: Crabbe and Goyle don't even have lines, they are just lackeys; every Slytherin is described as ugly or sneaky or both; the Hufflepuffs are all scared babies.
The best part of this book is the line "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."