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A review by lpm100
The Kissing Rabbi: Lust, Betrayal, and a Community Turned Inside Out by Andy Becker
funny
informative
fast-paced
5.0
Book Review
The Kissing Rabbi
5/5 stars
"An old story: a cleric gets in trouble because of his slappybag."
*******
251 pages of prose over 30 chapters. Approximately 8.3 pages per chapter.
It does contain a glossary, but for people that are likely to purchase this book they would know all of these terms.
It's easy enough to read over the course of Shabbat; about 5 hours worth of reading time.
Despite its protestations to the commentary, this book is based on actual events.
It is the story of R'Zalman Heber.
From what I've been able to figure out:
Mishegas Dreidel= R'Zalman Heber
TUCAS= Chabad
Lacey Johnson= Tracy Moran
Marshall Goldman= Mark Friedman
Gerald Johnson= Jared Moran
Sarah Shofar=Kim Shomer
Elmer Smith= Spencer Freeman
The Grand Rabbi= Lubavitcher Rebbe
And that's about all the names that I'm willing to research, because this is just one book review--and life is too short.
The elements of the story are so realistic, that it could only have been true; a fictionalized book is technique that a lot of Orthodox insiders use because these stories happen SO OFTEN, that they can fill up an entire book.
1. Hush, Eishes Chayil
2. Sotah, Naomi Ragen
3. Shidduch, Penina Shtauber
4. Shalom Bayit, Penina Shtauber
A lot of these things ring with a lot of my experience.
1. If you have Person X wrong Person Y, then who is right ONLY depends on the status of the relative parties. In the case of this book, two of the people that were telling the truth were actually converts (geirim) but the first thing that people kept doing was questioning their status. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
The Rabbinate will ALWAYS side with the stronger party against the weak.
2. A lot of fighting goes on over control of these Chabad Houses. Even though there seems to be at least one of them in every single town in the world, people don't seem to want to deal with administrative things unless/until there is a lawsuit to clarify the legal/financial/ administrative details of the House.
3. These sexual imbroglios happen in real life, and these rabbis that get themselves in trouble are some of the DUMBEST people that I've ever heard of.
If a person (rabbi) wants to have recreational sex, there are definitely ways that that can be done without sacrificing your entire career/reputation.
Maybe, the world's oldest profession?
Maybe, people who are outside of the community that you live in?
Maybe, people inside the community that you live in that are of legal age?
Maybe, sugar daddying? (Sugar babies are available in either sex. Lots of young, dumb guys and gals that make their moist bits available to much older men in exchange for enough income to not have to work a regular job.)
Maybe, a titty bar? All of these guys who wanted to "look at it," cannot be forgiven for not knowing that those are everywhere.
Examples:
-Leib Tropper got recorded trying to proposition a conversion candidate for a threesome.
-Yonasan Abraham got caught giving too much pastoral care to a wife that was wealthy enough to have 24 hours security on her (by her husband).
-Barry Freundel asked so many people to take practice dips in the mikvah, that enough people figured out he had a spy cam there.
-Yosef Kolko ended up in a relationship with an 11-year-old boy, and thought that it could be a secret.
-Chaim Walder/ Yehuda Meshi-Zahav punctured the tender bits of so many boys/girls, that just by sheer volume of incidents, their crimes got out.
It is a mystery to me how somebody can make it through all six orders of Shas, and have so little practical intelligence that they do things like this that get them caught.
*******
This book had a lot of good quotes. I believe that the author must have spoken Yiddish as a first language, because his delivery sounds like any number of Yiddish proverbs. (I have a whole collection of these that I try to keep in mind.)
(p.69) You can't make a stew out of faith.
(p. 43) In the grand tradition of the great Talmudic Rabbis, who knew how to split hairs better than corporate tax attorneys, today's Orthodox rabbis draw distinctions between Jews with "proclivities" and Jews who commit certain acts.
(p.142) Rabbi Dreidel baked promises of confidentiality like they were bagels, and no one bakes one bagel at a time.
(p. 142) A half truth is a whole lie.
Then, there is the word play and insider jokes.
-If a man is named Yitzhak Yosef, What else could he be accept Chabad?
-Mishegas Dreidel. Crazy Spinning Top?
Verdict:
Recommended at the price of $5. That may be a while, because the price on this book is still quite high a few years after it is published.
The Kissing Rabbi
5/5 stars
"An old story: a cleric gets in trouble because of his slappybag."
*******
251 pages of prose over 30 chapters. Approximately 8.3 pages per chapter.
It does contain a glossary, but for people that are likely to purchase this book they would know all of these terms.
It's easy enough to read over the course of Shabbat; about 5 hours worth of reading time.
Despite its protestations to the commentary, this book is based on actual events.
It is the story of R'Zalman Heber.
From what I've been able to figure out:
Mishegas Dreidel= R'Zalman Heber
TUCAS= Chabad
Lacey Johnson= Tracy Moran
Marshall Goldman= Mark Friedman
Gerald Johnson= Jared Moran
Sarah Shofar=Kim Shomer
Elmer Smith= Spencer Freeman
The Grand Rabbi= Lubavitcher Rebbe
And that's about all the names that I'm willing to research, because this is just one book review--and life is too short.
The elements of the story are so realistic, that it could only have been true; a fictionalized book is technique that a lot of Orthodox insiders use because these stories happen SO OFTEN, that they can fill up an entire book.
1. Hush, Eishes Chayil
2. Sotah, Naomi Ragen
3. Shidduch, Penina Shtauber
4. Shalom Bayit, Penina Shtauber
A lot of these things ring with a lot of my experience.
1. If you have Person X wrong Person Y, then who is right ONLY depends on the status of the relative parties. In the case of this book, two of the people that were telling the truth were actually converts (geirim) but the first thing that people kept doing was questioning their status. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
The Rabbinate will ALWAYS side with the stronger party against the weak.
2. A lot of fighting goes on over control of these Chabad Houses. Even though there seems to be at least one of them in every single town in the world, people don't seem to want to deal with administrative things unless/until there is a lawsuit to clarify the legal/financial/ administrative details of the House.
3. These sexual imbroglios happen in real life, and these rabbis that get themselves in trouble are some of the DUMBEST people that I've ever heard of.
If a person (rabbi) wants to have recreational sex, there are definitely ways that that can be done without sacrificing your entire career/reputation.
Maybe, the world's oldest profession?
Maybe, people who are outside of the community that you live in?
Maybe, people inside the community that you live in that are of legal age?
Maybe, sugar daddying? (Sugar babies are available in either sex. Lots of young, dumb guys and gals that make their moist bits available to much older men in exchange for enough income to not have to work a regular job.)
Maybe, a titty bar? All of these guys who wanted to "look at it," cannot be forgiven for not knowing that those are everywhere.
Examples:
-Leib Tropper got recorded trying to proposition a conversion candidate for a threesome.
-Yonasan Abraham got caught giving too much pastoral care to a wife that was wealthy enough to have 24 hours security on her (by her husband).
-Barry Freundel asked so many people to take practice dips in the mikvah, that enough people figured out he had a spy cam there.
-Yosef Kolko ended up in a relationship with an 11-year-old boy, and thought that it could be a secret.
-Chaim Walder/ Yehuda Meshi-Zahav punctured the tender bits of so many boys/girls, that just by sheer volume of incidents, their crimes got out.
It is a mystery to me how somebody can make it through all six orders of Shas, and have so little practical intelligence that they do things like this that get them caught.
*******
This book had a lot of good quotes. I believe that the author must have spoken Yiddish as a first language, because his delivery sounds like any number of Yiddish proverbs. (I have a whole collection of these that I try to keep in mind.)
(p.69) You can't make a stew out of faith.
(p. 43) In the grand tradition of the great Talmudic Rabbis, who knew how to split hairs better than corporate tax attorneys, today's Orthodox rabbis draw distinctions between Jews with "proclivities" and Jews who commit certain acts.
(p.142) Rabbi Dreidel baked promises of confidentiality like they were bagels, and no one bakes one bagel at a time.
(p. 142) A half truth is a whole lie.
Then, there is the word play and insider jokes.
-If a man is named Yitzhak Yosef, What else could he be accept Chabad?
-Mishegas Dreidel. Crazy Spinning Top?
Verdict:
Recommended at the price of $5. That may be a while, because the price on this book is still quite high a few years after it is published.