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A review by bookishobsessedmama
It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover
3.25
I ended this book feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I love the idea of the book - shedding light to the victims of abuse and giving those who are lucky to have never been in that situation a look at what goes through someone's mind when they're meeting, falling in love, realizing and leaving their abuser. I do agree with that statement that is made a couple of times - so much light is placed on the victim with 'why did he/she stay so long,' 'why didn't he/she leave earlier' etc. and not enough light is placed on the actual abuser.
With that, I think it's unacceptable that there are no trigger warnings on this book. I have read that Hoover did this on purpose because she wanted the reader to experience the shock factor of abuse in the same manner that a victim does, but my big issue with that is we read for enjoyment generally. I feel the reader should have a right to know if a topic in a book is going to cause harm to their mental health. Furthermore, I do not believe Hoover accurately portrayed that. Within the first 20 minutes of the book, Ryle showed his aggressive manner and was overtly rude and standoffish demeanor. I never quite understood the pull that Lily had to Ryle. I believe 99.9999999% of women would leave a situation that Lily was put in in the first 20 pages of this book. If you're alone on a roof with a man that is showing overtly aggressive behavior - you would leave the situation or at the very least try to be undetected.
I had some issues with the ending of the book as well. I feel like we almost end the book with Ryle being redeemed - he is allowed to stay with Lily the week leading to the birth of their daughter, he is allowed to hold the baby, he is allowed in the room during the birth, she asks for a divorce while he is holding the baby, and then he is allowed to have their child ALONE. Truly, abusers are not redeemable. I worry about the impression this is giving young people and women who may be on the cusp of leaving their abuser and in a similar situation as Lily.
I did enjoy the concept of having letters as flashbacks instead of just doing a dual timeline book. It was creative and I really enjoyed reading them and being in Lily's brain during that time.
I really enjoyed Allysa's character in the beginning and the end. I did get bothered when she seemed to more of guilt Lily into hearing Ryle out about his past when she OBVIOUSLY suspected him of hitting her. I appreciated how she handled the situation when Lily did finally tell her everything and was on her side still even though it was her brother.
Overall, when I finished the book, I felt really indifferent. A lot of the book made me feel really angry and uncomfortable but not in the way I believe the author had intended. I am a domestic violence survivor. I endured 6 years of extremely violent abuse, and I believe if I would have read this book during that time, I would have felt that maybe my abuser would have been redeemable. Maybe I could make things work with him - as a partner, co-parent, whatever was necessary at that point. I believe there was a lot of time spent on Lily's and Atlas's relationship and I almost feel like more time could have been spent on really shedding light on Lily growing and getting help. Generally, after victims leave, the abuser is not present it their life AT ALL. I was absolutely shocked when Lily was leaving Emmy with Ryle and letting him take her alone. Yes, I know that he is her father, but he abused and almost graped her - it shocks me she would feel comfortable leaving Emmy alone with him. Supervised visits are there for a reason - I just feel like the author was focused on the romance side of the story having a happily ever after. Unfortunately, a lot of these stories do not have happily ever afters. The endings are sad, hurtful, uncomfortable, or a combination of feelings. I know this is fiction - but I just don't like the idea it is giving readers.
I can understand how this book would get people back into reading and how it would be impactful on readers. It is easy to read and pretty basic writing wise. I love that reading is subjective though and if you enjoyed this book, I absolutely love that! It just had a lot of issues for me that I believe should have been given more care and attention.
With that, I think it's unacceptable that there are no trigger warnings on this book. I have read that Hoover did this on purpose because she wanted the reader to experience the shock factor of abuse in the same manner that a victim does, but my big issue with that is we read for enjoyment generally. I feel the reader should have a right to know if a topic in a book is going to cause harm to their mental health. Furthermore, I do not believe Hoover accurately portrayed that. Within the first 20 minutes of the book, Ryle showed his aggressive manner and was overtly rude and standoffish demeanor. I never quite understood the pull that Lily had to Ryle. I believe 99.9999999% of women would leave a situation that Lily was put in in the first 20 pages of this book. If you're alone on a roof with a man that is showing overtly aggressive behavior - you would leave the situation or at the very least try to be undetected.
I had some issues with the ending of the book as well. I feel like we almost end the book with Ryle being redeemed - he is allowed to stay with Lily the week leading to the birth of their daughter, he is allowed to hold the baby, he is allowed in the room during the birth, she asks for a divorce while he is holding the baby, and then he is allowed to have their child ALONE. Truly, abusers are not redeemable. I worry about the impression this is giving young people and women who may be on the cusp of leaving their abuser and in a similar situation as Lily.
I did enjoy the concept of having letters as flashbacks instead of just doing a dual timeline book. It was creative and I really enjoyed reading them and being in Lily's brain during that time.
I really enjoyed Allysa's character in the beginning and the end. I did get bothered when she seemed to more of guilt Lily into hearing Ryle out about his past when she OBVIOUSLY suspected him of hitting her. I appreciated how she handled the situation when Lily did finally tell her everything and was on her side still even though it was her brother.
Overall, when I finished the book, I felt really indifferent. A lot of the book made me feel really angry and uncomfortable but not in the way I believe the author had intended. I am a domestic violence survivor. I endured 6 years of extremely violent abuse, and I believe if I would have read this book during that time, I would have felt that maybe my abuser would have been redeemable. Maybe I could make things work with him - as a partner, co-parent, whatever was necessary at that point. I believe there was a lot of time spent on Lily's and Atlas's relationship and I almost feel like more time could have been spent on really shedding light on Lily growing and getting help. Generally, after victims leave, the abuser is not present it their life AT ALL. I was absolutely shocked when Lily was leaving Emmy with Ryle and letting him take her alone. Yes, I know that he is her father, but he abused and almost graped her - it shocks me she would feel comfortable leaving Emmy alone with him. Supervised visits are there for a reason - I just feel like the author was focused on the romance side of the story having a happily ever after. Unfortunately, a lot of these stories do not have happily ever afters. The endings are sad, hurtful, uncomfortable, or a combination of feelings. I know this is fiction - but I just don't like the idea it is giving readers.
I can understand how this book would get people back into reading and how it would be impactful on readers. It is easy to read and pretty basic writing wise. I love that reading is subjective though and if you enjoyed this book, I absolutely love that! It just had a lot of issues for me that I believe should have been given more care and attention.