A review by roach
Not My Father's Son by Alan Cumming

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring sad fast-paced

4.0

I suppose what I'm saying is... I am okay. I survived my father. We all did – my brother, my mother and me – literally as well as figuratively. But as with all difficult things, it was a process.

Alan Cumming is an actor I've always liked seeing in films when he popped up. Be it "X-Men 2", "Spy Kids" or even undisputable cinematic catastrophes like "Son of the Mask", he always brings a lot of charm and character to his performances.
Over the last few years, I began to learn more about him and his other works in the entertainment industry outside of the movie scene, and it was pretty clear very early on that Cumming had a very varied life story. So, with that in mind, I decided to read his first memoir, "Not My Father's Son".

"Not My Father's Son" is a very well-structured book about child abuse and how it can be to live up in a violent household. I'm sure a lot of people out there can sympathize with that, and I'm sure almost everyone can empathize with the situations Cumming recalls here. There are some very unflinching passages.
But besides all of that, this book manages to become a very multi-facetted story by jumping back and forth in time, re-telling parts of his childhood and contrasting that with the present of Cumming not only struggling with his late, estranged father but also managing to deal with some other family enlightenment as he takes part in the filming of an episode of a show that aims to research another enigmatic person in his family tree.
It comes together really well and it's almost astounding at moments how well the timing of the different parts of the real-life stories seems to be. It's also fascinating to watch the episode of that tv show after having read the book and seeing his genuine reactions on screen as a part of his family's history unravels before him, and it absolutely matches what he wrote in this memoir of his experiences on set during filming.

Alan Cumming's first memoir is a shocking and heavy text in many moments, but it's also very hopeful and ultimately a story of empowerment and growth. I like to read biographies and memoirs of people in show business in general, but I wasn't quite sure what to expect from Cumming's outing here. It ended up surpassing my expectations and I was pretty glued to the pages, especially during the second half of it.
It's written in a way that feels very brisk without ever breezing over heavier or emotional moments. It's very well-paced and Cumming has a very charming, easy-to-read writing style.

I would absolutely recommend this book wholeheartedly to people who might have had a violent childhood themselves and struggled with finding themselves long afterward. I would also recommend this book to people who are just generally interested in the meaning of a father role in one's life, the search of belonging somewhere, and our connection to family members that we never actually met.

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