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A review by lyssachelle
Companion Required by Brian Lancaster
2.0
I was excited to read this, as I love a good fake relationship. Initially, it seemed really on track for Kieran to break down the seemingly cold-hearted Kennedy's barriers. The descriptions of the locales were lovely and the author either has first-hand knowledge of the places or is just that good. However, a lot of things just didn't add up for me in the end. I think, ultimately, there were a few too many plot points that didn't mesh well with the others. They would seem plausible...and then would not. For instance:
The hiring of a companion didn't really make sense. Since his breakup with Patrick, Kennedy has had a companion come with him so that he isn't alone and single in front of his ex. Okay, I'm with you....but don't the friends notice that he has nothing to do with the men once the vacation is over? Or that they aren't mentioned in the time leading up to the vacation? He spends all this money for a companion and he wants them to be able to fool his friends but apparently, it's just an open secret because a previous companion ratted him out? And the previous years' companion slept with one of the couples? Which is oooo, big scandal, but WHY if everyone knows that these guys are paid? Do they know or don't they? Kennedy doesn't seem shocked or humiliated about sort of being found out, but also doesn't proudly own that he gets hot young things to come on a cruise with him every year.
ALSO. There is a card that Kennedy gives his companions for a free BJ (but is Kieran's get out of jail card and yeah, I don't know either,) which one of the friends tells Kieran about and prompts Kieran to use it as its original purpose and then just blown within an inch of his life. Great! You get it, Kieran! But...wtf is the point of a card? And if it's a sexy code, how do the friends know about it?
AND! AND! Why is Patrick painted as a villain, but then turns out to be an okay guy with really shitty minions/friends in Richmond and Mike? What is Richmond's damage about Kennedy? He thinks that Patrick and Kennedy belong together, but is such a s***head to him. And don't get me started on the bi-erasure of Patrick's new boyfriend's sister knowing Kieran and his ex-girlfriend, which obvs makes him a phony. (Which! Apparently! They! All! Already! Know!)
There just is a LOT going on and could have been whittled down considerably. Like:
Not sure of the point of the corporate espionage plot and the random-ass trip to LA. It taught Kennedy to slow down and take better stock of his life but that couldn't have been accomplished with some self-reflection while on the cruise?
The trip to Kennedy's parents was an odd stopover on the way to the main plot, as was the sister's adultery sideplot.
The friend group could have been tightened up, and their role in the deception made more clear. Do they believe these boyfriends are real, or not? Either make them believe it or make Kennedy not even try to deceive them in the first place.
Or! OR! Make all the other ones have been real-ish guys he brings, a friend of friends or casual guys he woos with a promise of a vacation, and then have Kieran be the first hired one.
Also, don't have the cute lesbians decide to have a baby with the dude their friend hired to go on a cruise. (There's a time jump! Make it off-page and throw it in there as a request they make much later! Just don't go around asking your friend's fake boyfriend that you've known for three weeks for sperm!)
Apparently, I have stronger feelings than I realized when I began writing this review. (But seriously, A BJ CARD?)
This gets 2 stars and that's because I was compelled enough to finish it, and the descriptions of the cruise and the foreign destinations were lovely.
Spoiler
Kieran is a bit of a unicorn. He charms the pants off of everyone...to the point that a few days with Kennedy's family changes years of misunderstanding and resentment between all of them. He then is beloved by Kennedy's friends (with the exception of Patrick and his minions, more on that in a sec) and charms the pants off of THEM also, so much so that he seems to spend more time with Laurie and Steph. SO much time that they decide to ask him to GIVE THEM A BABY. I mean, Christ on a cracker, really? And don't get me started on the sexy ballroom routine that they magically know how to do together despite no practice.The hiring of a companion didn't really make sense. Since his breakup with Patrick, Kennedy has had a companion come with him so that he isn't alone and single in front of his ex. Okay, I'm with you....but don't the friends notice that he has nothing to do with the men once the vacation is over? Or that they aren't mentioned in the time leading up to the vacation? He spends all this money for a companion and he wants them to be able to fool his friends but apparently, it's just an open secret because a previous companion ratted him out? And the previous years' companion slept with one of the couples? Which is oooo, big scandal, but WHY if everyone knows that these guys are paid? Do they know or don't they? Kennedy doesn't seem shocked or humiliated about sort of being found out, but also doesn't proudly own that he gets hot young things to come on a cruise with him every year.
ALSO. There is a card that Kennedy gives his companions for a free BJ (but is Kieran's get out of jail card and yeah, I don't know either,) which one of the friends tells Kieran about and prompts Kieran to use it as its original purpose and then just blown within an inch of his life. Great! You get it, Kieran! But...wtf is the point of a card? And if it's a sexy code, how do the friends know about it?
AND! AND! Why is Patrick painted as a villain, but then turns out to be an okay guy with really shitty minions/friends in Richmond and Mike? What is Richmond's damage about Kennedy? He thinks that Patrick and Kennedy belong together, but is such a s***head to him. And don't get me started on the bi-erasure of Patrick's new boyfriend's sister knowing Kieran and his ex-girlfriend, which obvs makes him a phony. (Which! Apparently! They! All! Already! Know!)
There just is a LOT going on and could have been whittled down considerably. Like:
Not sure of the point of the corporate espionage plot and the random-ass trip to LA. It taught Kennedy to slow down and take better stock of his life but that couldn't have been accomplished with some self-reflection while on the cruise?
The trip to Kennedy's parents was an odd stopover on the way to the main plot, as was the sister's adultery sideplot.
The friend group could have been tightened up, and their role in the deception made more clear. Do they believe these boyfriends are real, or not? Either make them believe it or make Kennedy not even try to deceive them in the first place.
Or! OR! Make all the other ones have been real-ish guys he brings, a friend of friends or casual guys he woos with a promise of a vacation, and then have Kieran be the first hired one.
Also, don't have the cute lesbians decide to have a baby with the dude their friend hired to go on a cruise. (There's a time jump! Make it off-page and throw it in there as a request they make much later! Just don't go around asking your friend's fake boyfriend that you've known for three weeks for sperm!)
Apparently, I have stronger feelings than I realized when I began writing this review. (But seriously, A BJ CARD?)
This gets 2 stars and that's because I was compelled enough to finish it, and the descriptions of the cruise and the foreign destinations were lovely.