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A review by bethpeninger
The Bonds that Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner
5.0
"The possibility of overcoming very deep personal and interpersonal problems lies within the power of each of us....Why do we get and keep ourselves stuck in anxiety, suspicion, resentment, or anger if we all have the power to do otherwise? The answer to this extraordinarily challenging and fascinating question is that we devise and hang on to our emotional problems for a purpose, a purpose more important to us than our happiness. And we deceive ourselves about the fact that this is what we're doing. We participate in the creation of our emotional troubles and deny we've had any part in it. In regard to our troubling emotions and attitudes, we are our own worst enemies." (pg. ix, x)
Whew. It took me several months to read this book. Mostly because I kept putting it down to think about it and found it hard to pick back up with my crazy life distracting me from its important truths. I needed space in order to soak it in. The bookmark was stuck on page 129 for a little over a month when I picked it up today and decided I had some space. I re-read the first 129 pages and went on to finish the book.
Warner has spent years studying the intricacies of relationships and along with colleagues found that in order to speak knowledgeably to freedoms our relationships need they first needed to experience those changes for themselves. I appreciate that kind of example.
Including several real life stories to provide evidence for his theory, Warner goes about laying the groundwork for the quote I included above, providing explanation of its consequences and manifestations, and then finishing up by showing the reader the way to wholeness and healing. His writing style was not terribly dry and I found it easy to read and understand, he didn't get too clinical or heady. As I was reading I found myself saying, "Yes! That is exactly what happens or what I do" so the information wasn't new to me deep down but it had never risen to the surface for me to explore and think through. Reading Warner's writings helped bring it up so I could acknowledge it. What's so interesting is what always happens when one reads a book like this and is suddenly alerted to a part of humanity not previously recognized, I began to see it in myself, TV characters, movie characters, my children, etc. Fortunately I saw it in myself first. *wink* His real life examples resonate because they are real life, we've probably all done or witnessed very similar things ourselves. Back in September I read another relationship book, How We Love, and combined with this book I think the two titles are must reads for anyone who wants to have healthy relationships - not just healthy marriages but healthy relationships overall. This was an excellent read and is serving as an excellent resource for myself and my relationships. I highly recommend it.
Whew. It took me several months to read this book. Mostly because I kept putting it down to think about it and found it hard to pick back up with my crazy life distracting me from its important truths. I needed space in order to soak it in. The bookmark was stuck on page 129 for a little over a month when I picked it up today and decided I had some space. I re-read the first 129 pages and went on to finish the book.
Warner has spent years studying the intricacies of relationships and along with colleagues found that in order to speak knowledgeably to freedoms our relationships need they first needed to experience those changes for themselves. I appreciate that kind of example.
Including several real life stories to provide evidence for his theory, Warner goes about laying the groundwork for the quote I included above, providing explanation of its consequences and manifestations, and then finishing up by showing the reader the way to wholeness and healing. His writing style was not terribly dry and I found it easy to read and understand, he didn't get too clinical or heady. As I was reading I found myself saying, "Yes! That is exactly what happens or what I do" so the information wasn't new to me deep down but it had never risen to the surface for me to explore and think through. Reading Warner's writings helped bring it up so I could acknowledge it. What's so interesting is what always happens when one reads a book like this and is suddenly alerted to a part of humanity not previously recognized, I began to see it in myself, TV characters, movie characters, my children, etc. Fortunately I saw it in myself first. *wink* His real life examples resonate because they are real life, we've probably all done or witnessed very similar things ourselves. Back in September I read another relationship book, How We Love, and combined with this book I think the two titles are must reads for anyone who wants to have healthy relationships - not just healthy marriages but healthy relationships overall. This was an excellent read and is serving as an excellent resource for myself and my relationships. I highly recommend it.