A review by peregrinwho
Study for Obedience by Sarah Bernstein

challenging fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

I think I'm not academic enough for this, dude. I was hooked at first, feeling startlingly called out by the author's descriptions of loneliness, retreating into oneself, caring more for others than they do for you, and not being missed. Trying to be good by being deferent to others. I was headcanoning an autistic narrator, especially with the descriptions of mis-timed gazes, expressions and speech, others inherint mistrust, the mirroring of emotions, and "withdrawing" or masking to feel control, but realized this was supposed to be an unreliable narrator, and something about that makes me really sad. Are people like me doomed to be ostrisized and labeled weird and occult?

I think this is supposed to relate back to Jewish people in WW2, since the narrator is Jewish and moved to Poland? They mention meeting the history of their ancestors. The theme feels like it's trying to tell me those who live for others lose themselves and get "eradicated", but then the narrator doesn't? She's happy in her blind servitude, and maybe the point is to be weirded out by that, but I thought she was heading for "self-annihilation" since it was referenced so many times. You can argue interioraly, yes, but I thought physical as well would have been the natural end. Maybe everything that happened was supposed to be an exterior representation of her own self hatred? But that's still not satisfying.
There are some great insights into losing oneself to please others that get marred and confused by the end. Especially since there are so many run-on sentences that make it hard to follow at times. Overall, I think I understood what happened in this book, just not why. Also, her relationship with her brother was creepy as hell.
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