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A review by pickett22
Born with Teeth by Kate Mulgrew
4.0
Fascinating.
This was a really enjoyable listen (audiobook). Mulgrew has a diamond-hard sense of self and a thousand weird stories to tell. Her life has been quirky, difficult, beautiful, heart-breaking. I wanted to put some CWs in this review, but how do you put warnings on life? I'll throw some things under a spoiler tag down below because I always appreciate the warnings myself, but this is a life lived and brings with it all the trappings and heartbreak that implies.
At first I was a little bemused by how swiftly she glossed over a couple of affairs she had, but that's not out of the ordinary for her style of storytelling, I think. She focuses on many events in her life, but will offhandedly mention something that left me going, "wait, WHAT?" only to never return to it.
She follows a couple of throughlines in her own life, especially romance and motherhood. She spends a great deal of time remembering her own mother and discusses at length her love for her children as well as how at odds motherhood is with acting. She points out, with no small amount of bitterness I think, how fatherhood does not carry the same expectations with it. She was the breadwinner, and yet was resented for her absence and criticized for her choices. She speaks a lot about a decision made when she was in her early 20s that she deeply regretted, and how that grief and shame moved with her throughout her life. I felt the relief in my own body when TH came on scene and there finally was a man who didn't turn away from her grief with discomfort and embarrassment, but who took it gently in his hands and held it with care. And what a wonderful experience to have, 20 years later, in finding peace and reconciliation at last with the actions she had taken when she had been so young.
The audiobook was followed by an interview with Mulgrew hosted by Rosie O'Donnall. It was an interesting thing to listen to, though there were moments, things that O'Donnall said more than Mulgrew, that made me physically cringe. It was illuminating though.
I don't agree with all of Mulgrew's beliefs. I can see places where her bitterness shines bright, though I know that bitterness was well earned. Still, I finish this book believing that she is a woman of incredible strength who bends her will to temper herself with kindness. In many ways she reminds me of the people I grew up around, was raised by, and I recognize a great deal of hardness in her that I felt as a child. In the interview after the book, she talks about that, talks about wanting to move past that, wanting to be able to access sympathy and bestow it on others having keenly felt its denial for herself.
Overall and excellent book.
This was a book I read for my 2020 reading goal of finally getting around to books I've owned for ages and never actually read.
This was a really enjoyable listen (audiobook). Mulgrew has a diamond-hard sense of self and a thousand weird stories to tell. Her life has been quirky, difficult, beautiful, heart-breaking. I wanted to put some CWs in this review, but how do you put warnings on life? I'll throw some things under a spoiler tag down below because I always appreciate the warnings myself, but this is a life lived and brings with it all the trappings and heartbreak that implies.
At first I was a little bemused by how swiftly she glossed over a couple of affairs she had, but that's not out of the ordinary for her style of storytelling, I think. She focuses on many events in her life, but will offhandedly mention something that left me going, "wait, WHAT?" only to never return to it.
She follows a couple of throughlines in her own life, especially romance and motherhood. She spends a great deal of time remembering her own mother and discusses at length her love for her children as well as how at odds motherhood is with acting. She points out, with no small amount of bitterness I think, how fatherhood does not carry the same expectations with it. She was the breadwinner, and yet was resented for her absence and criticized for her choices. She speaks a lot about a decision made when she was in her early 20s that she deeply regretted, and how that grief and shame moved with her throughout her life. I felt the relief in my own body when TH came on scene and there finally was a man who didn't turn away from her grief with discomfort and embarrassment, but who took it gently in his hands and held it with care. And what a wonderful experience to have, 20 years later, in finding peace and reconciliation at last with the actions she had taken when she had been so young.
The audiobook was followed by an interview with Mulgrew hosted by Rosie O'Donnall. It was an interesting thing to listen to, though there were moments, things that O'Donnall said more than Mulgrew, that made me physically cringe. It was illuminating though.
I don't agree with all of Mulgrew's beliefs. I can see places where her bitterness shines bright, though I know that bitterness was well earned. Still, I finish this book believing that she is a woman of incredible strength who bends her will to temper herself with kindness. In many ways she reminds me of the people I grew up around, was raised by, and I recognize a great deal of hardness in her that I felt as a child. In the interview after the book, she talks about that, talks about wanting to move past that, wanting to be able to access sympathy and bestow it on others having keenly felt its denial for herself.
Overall and excellent book.
Spoiler
SIDs, cancer, child death (siblings), rape, miscarriage, unplanned pregnancy and a baby given up for adoption, a relationship that MIGHT have trended towards emotional abuse had Mulgrew not been so incredibly hard to break?This was a book I read for my 2020 reading goal of finally getting around to books I've owned for ages and never actually read.