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weirdnoirmaster 's review for:
Funland
by Richard Laymon
Most terrible books end up deciding on one way to be bad. FUNLAND picks pretty much all of them. Much like Jared Fogle's luggage after a trip to Thailand, there's a lot to unpack here, and none of it is pleasant. So let's start right up front, shall we?
Did you know that homeless people are all deranged rapists and killers? Richard Laymon is here to educate you, and talk about the brave young men and women who keep the boardwalk safe by beating the crap out of some poor bastard.
At turns a cliched coming-of-age story, a crappy porno, and a narcoleptic thriller, the novel only occasionally remembers that it's allegedly horror. Until the last 10% or so, when all of a sudden it turns into a cross between Tod Browning's FREAKS, the unwatchable "horror" "comedy" STREET TRASH, and that story that Kevin Smith tells about Jon Peters pitching SUPERMAN LIVES to him. That's right. This book features a giant spider in the third act.
I... I just can't.
Most of it, though, is about the love lives of the various jerks that inhabit Boleta Bay. Will perfect jock and homeless abuser Nate find love with vagabond busker Robin? Will awkward new kid Duke find love with mysterious beauty Shiner? Will cop Dave find love with his partner Joan? Will Cowboy speak a single line that won't make your eyes roll out of your head? Spoiler alert, but the answers are yes, no, yes, no.
I bought this thing for at the most $1.99 at a Halloween sale at Amazon. I drastically overpaid.
Did you know that homeless people are all deranged rapists and killers? Richard Laymon is here to educate you, and talk about the brave young men and women who keep the boardwalk safe by beating the crap out of some poor bastard.
At turns a cliched coming-of-age story, a crappy porno, and a narcoleptic thriller, the novel only occasionally remembers that it's allegedly horror. Until the last 10% or so, when all of a sudden it turns into a cross between Tod Browning's FREAKS, the unwatchable "horror" "comedy" STREET TRASH, and that story that Kevin Smith tells about Jon Peters pitching SUPERMAN LIVES to him. That's right. This book features a giant spider in the third act.
I... I just can't.
Most of it, though, is about the love lives of the various jerks that inhabit Boleta Bay. Will perfect jock and homeless abuser Nate find love with vagabond busker Robin? Will awkward new kid Duke find love with mysterious beauty Shiner? Will cop Dave find love with his partner Joan? Will Cowboy speak a single line that won't make your eyes roll out of your head? Spoiler alert, but the answers are yes, no, yes, no.
I bought this thing for at the most $1.99 at a Halloween sale at Amazon. I drastically overpaid.