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A review by booksafety
The Unmasking of Kelly James by Belle Chapin, Belle Chapin
5.0
Book safety, tropes and tags down below.
You know, I was going to start this review with that whole I'm late to this party spiel, but after arriving at the reviews-terminal, I'm realizing that there's no party at all! Considering how much of a good time I had while reading this book, I'm positively shocked. It's not like no one has read it, but with the quality of the writing and story I expected this book and author to have made a bigger splash in this particular pool. I have 68 highlights from this book, and I wish I could add them all to this review so everyone could laugh along with me.
"I'm a goddamned horse. Neigh, bitches."
The context of which is for me to know and you to find out.
In general, this book has some really good and clever writing. It was one of those books where I had a constant smile on my face, both because of the comedic element but also because it's just a joy to read a really good book. I'm very impressed by the fact that the comedy didn't feel forced, which is a trap easily fallen into by rom-com writers. Oh, and it's not like humor is all it had to offer. I even managed to cry a couple of times (even though that might not hold much weight, considering I don't remember what book I read last that didn't make me cry).
"'What the fuck is a gnu anyway?' Before any of her friends could answer, a sassy baritone said, 'It's another name for a wildebeest. You know, like one of those cow bastards that curb-stomped Mufasa.'"
Alright, first of all, how dare you make fun of a core traumatic childhood memory, and second, I laughed way more than necessary at this, and it happened at 4%.
Kelly was, as Jonah would tell you, a complete golden retriever. What an absolute sweetheart. A pure soul. An angel. A sweet little baby. You get the idea. I love how he was very professional in his job as nanny, even when he lusted after his employer. There was no inappropriate behavior. Oh, other than letting kids swear and giving coffee to five year olds, but who's keeping track of that stuff. He was also treated pretty poorly by his ex (understatement of the damn century), as well as his parents, which made me cry a little.
"'Can I say it?' 'Right now?' 'Yeah.' Kelly ran a hand through his hair, snagging a finger on a knot. 'Go ahead. But it stays between you and me, because I don't mind the words.' Violet straightened and shook her hands like a batter getting ready to hit. 'Fuck.' Kelly bit the inside of his cheek. It was the most adorable use of the word ever. 'Got it out of your system?' 'I think so.'"
There's three whole kids in this book, and it was a delight. As a non-child-having-person, I thought the author nailed the mix of fun things kids say with the realistic parts of tantrums, tired and hungry kids. Funny kids in books can often sound like adults pretending to be kids, but I liked the balance in this.
"'Dolphins are super smart. Why aren't they in charge of the world?' Kelly turned his head very, very slowly to Jonah. 'That's a good question for your daddy.' Shit."
Jonah grew up in a house with nannies and butlers where he was auctioned out like a prized stud bull in order to make heirs for his wicked-witch-of-the-west mother. Considering how emotionally stunted that entire family was, Jonah included, I was impressed with his character development during the book. It happened in such a way that I barely even noticed it, but at the same time, it wasn't just the author telling you he's different now at the end. He was also unintentionally funny, and in this case, unfortunately (for me) highly relatable:
"'You're what?' 'When someone vomits in front of me, I start gagging. Eventually, I throw up. It's like a really awful game of Telephone.'"
I feel your pain, Jonah.
This book is slow burning, but you'll enjoy the journey there enough to barely notice. The evolution of Jonah and Kelly's relationship felt natural and realistic, even with a bi/gay awakening thrown in there, which I gotta say Jonah handled perfectly. Figuring out your sexuality is difficult at the best of times, but sometimes I want to read about someone who takes it all in his stride, relatively speaking. He had some questions and thoughts of course, but it wasn't a source for major angst in the book.
"I know you want a nice, neat box to put things in. You always have. It's just how you are. But that's not how sexuality works. I can't tell you your label. I can suggest things that you might believe are your label. Labels shift and change over time, and you're just going to have to accept that fact. Do some research, see if anything feels good to you. And if not? Then that's okay, too. You don't get an ID card to carry around once you figure it out."
Writing this review has taken ages, mostly because I really want people to find and read this book so we can share the joy, but also because I got stuck reading all my highlights all over again, lol. I also feel like I haven't actually said much at all, but hopefully you get the idea. I'll reference the start of this review and say LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! Oh, and I'll leave you with this description of Kelly by Jonah.
"Something about Kelly unsettled him-not in a bad way, or a good way, but in a weird way, like watching a really violent action movie and feeling slightly guilty for liking it so much. That 'Hey, Uma Thurman is awesome, but also, that was a lot of decapitation' feeling.'"
Book safety
Cheating: Kelly is cheated on by his ex on page, before he meets Jonah.
OM drama: No
Third-act breakup: Yes, briefly
POV: 3rd person, dual
Strict top/bottom or vers: Strict roles
TW/CW
Cheating (not between MCs), death of spouse off page (not detailed), manipulative ex, emotionally distant and somewhat verbally abusive parents, vomiting
Tropes & tags
Age gap, widower, single dad, bi/gay awakening, three kids, live-in-nanny, cheating ex fiancé, friend group, wealthy MC, puppets, laugh-out-loud funny (no, seriously), dinosaurs
You know, I was going to start this review with that whole I'm late to this party spiel, but after arriving at the reviews-terminal, I'm realizing that there's no party at all! Considering how much of a good time I had while reading this book, I'm positively shocked. It's not like no one has read it, but with the quality of the writing and story I expected this book and author to have made a bigger splash in this particular pool. I have 68 highlights from this book, and I wish I could add them all to this review so everyone could laugh along with me.
"I'm a goddamned horse. Neigh, bitches."
The context of which is for me to know and you to find out.
In general, this book has some really good and clever writing. It was one of those books where I had a constant smile on my face, both because of the comedic element but also because it's just a joy to read a really good book. I'm very impressed by the fact that the comedy didn't feel forced, which is a trap easily fallen into by rom-com writers. Oh, and it's not like humor is all it had to offer. I even managed to cry a couple of times (even though that might not hold much weight, considering I don't remember what book I read last that didn't make me cry).
"'What the fuck is a gnu anyway?' Before any of her friends could answer, a sassy baritone said, 'It's another name for a wildebeest. You know, like one of those cow bastards that curb-stomped Mufasa.'"
Alright, first of all, how dare you make fun of a core traumatic childhood memory, and second, I laughed way more than necessary at this, and it happened at 4%.
Kelly was, as Jonah would tell you, a complete golden retriever. What an absolute sweetheart. A pure soul. An angel. A sweet little baby. You get the idea. I love how he was very professional in his job as nanny, even when he lusted after his employer. There was no inappropriate behavior. Oh, other than letting kids swear and giving coffee to five year olds, but who's keeping track of that stuff. He was also treated pretty poorly by his ex (understatement of the damn century), as well as his parents, which made me cry a little.
"'Can I say it?' 'Right now?' 'Yeah.' Kelly ran a hand through his hair, snagging a finger on a knot. 'Go ahead. But it stays between you and me, because I don't mind the words.' Violet straightened and shook her hands like a batter getting ready to hit. 'Fuck.' Kelly bit the inside of his cheek. It was the most adorable use of the word ever. 'Got it out of your system?' 'I think so.'"
There's three whole kids in this book, and it was a delight. As a non-child-having-person, I thought the author nailed the mix of fun things kids say with the realistic parts of tantrums, tired and hungry kids. Funny kids in books can often sound like adults pretending to be kids, but I liked the balance in this.
"'Dolphins are super smart. Why aren't they in charge of the world?' Kelly turned his head very, very slowly to Jonah. 'That's a good question for your daddy.' Shit."
Jonah grew up in a house with nannies and butlers where he was auctioned out like a prized stud bull in order to make heirs for his wicked-witch-of-the-west mother. Considering how emotionally stunted that entire family was, Jonah included, I was impressed with his character development during the book. It happened in such a way that I barely even noticed it, but at the same time, it wasn't just the author telling you he's different now at the end. He was also unintentionally funny, and in this case, unfortunately (for me) highly relatable:
"'You're what?' 'When someone vomits in front of me, I start gagging. Eventually, I throw up. It's like a really awful game of Telephone.'"
I feel your pain, Jonah.
This book is slow burning, but you'll enjoy the journey there enough to barely notice. The evolution of Jonah and Kelly's relationship felt natural and realistic, even with a bi/gay awakening thrown in there, which I gotta say Jonah handled perfectly. Figuring out your sexuality is difficult at the best of times, but sometimes I want to read about someone who takes it all in his stride, relatively speaking. He had some questions and thoughts of course, but it wasn't a source for major angst in the book.
"I know you want a nice, neat box to put things in. You always have. It's just how you are. But that's not how sexuality works. I can't tell you your label. I can suggest things that you might believe are your label. Labels shift and change over time, and you're just going to have to accept that fact. Do some research, see if anything feels good to you. And if not? Then that's okay, too. You don't get an ID card to carry around once you figure it out."
Writing this review has taken ages, mostly because I really want people to find and read this book so we can share the joy, but also because I got stuck reading all my highlights all over again, lol. I also feel like I haven't actually said much at all, but hopefully you get the idea. I'll reference the start of this review and say LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! Oh, and I'll leave you with this description of Kelly by Jonah.
"Something about Kelly unsettled him-not in a bad way, or a good way, but in a weird way, like watching a really violent action movie and feeling slightly guilty for liking it so much. That 'Hey, Uma Thurman is awesome, but also, that was a lot of decapitation' feeling.'"
Book safety
Spoiler
Cheating: Kelly is cheated on by his ex on page, before he meets Jonah.
OM drama: No
Third-act breakup: Yes, briefly
POV: 3rd person, dual
Strict top/bottom or vers: Strict roles
TW/CW
Spoiler
Cheating (not between MCs), death of spouse off page (not detailed), manipulative ex, emotionally distant and somewhat verbally abusive parents, vomiting
Tropes & tags
Spoiler
Age gap, widower, single dad, bi/gay awakening, three kids, live-in-nanny, cheating ex fiancé, friend group, wealthy MC, puppets, laugh-out-loud funny (no, seriously), dinosaurs