bibilly's reviews
321 reviews

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

dark emotional funny sad medium-paced

3.5

"mom didn’t get better. but i will."

given how much Jennette hates acting, her narration is strikingly good, making the audiobook a richer experience than the raw text. but i don't wanna hear or read the word mom ever again. "i'm sure she’s dying." fucking finally. also, i expected the second part to focus on the author's journey of recognizing and eventually accepting that her mother was her biggest abuser rather than her biggest hero. however, she dumped the first therapist who brought this up, and the topic was largely ignored for the rest of the book until the last chapter. there, we're told that this journey did take place off-page, in an approach that misses the point of a book with such a title. my favorite part was the beginning, which focused on her childhood. it's always fascinating to read through a child's point of view, and any woman who had a lot on her shoulders or was the emotional support for her mother from a young age can relate to the tragically hilarious episodes narrated here. unfortunately, too many of us know what is like to be a good girl and a bitter woman. on the other hand, i don't think is humanly possible for anyone to remember so many details—the exact words, thoughts and moments—from the early years of their life. that's even more unconvincing in contrast with the adult years, where, ironically, the biggest time jumps occur, and the narrative becomes somewhat disjointed, albeit still featuring unrealistically detailed dialogues. it's not that i don't believe in what she went through, i just couldn't quite suspend my disbelief regarding the way she chose to write about it. her style leaves a mark, though, and i hope to see her name on the cover of a fiction book someday. so, as a reader who never picks up memoirs, i'm surprised to know they can be written like a novel, in the present tense even. i'm also relieved that Miranda turned out to be as nice as Carly, was crossing my fingers about that.

You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

fast-paced

2.5

would've appreciated this more if it were a standard self-help or psychology book and the author didn't try to be funny. if there's something that won't take a smile out of me is comedians. the chances are less than zero if they're speaking in english. haha my job is to make you laugh. well, you don't. my own misery is way funnier.

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport

informative fast-paced

2.0

nothing that i didn't already know to some extent (accompanied by a disregard for the direct influence of capitalism in the lack of depth in our lives). the concept of deep work is familiar to anyone who's spent at least a couple of hours on the productivity side of YouTube, but before reading the book that coined it, i had already expanded on it to include, besides professional (knowledge) work, any cognitive activity meaningful to me. this type of "work", from reading a book to watching a movie, has to get at least 30 minutes straight of my attention. that's because im the kind of person who schedules even my hobbies, otherwise i don't do them (e.g. 3 blocks of 30 minutes for reading spread throughout the day) –which is actually a strategy suggested here: schedule everything, even your rest and leisure times, so you always know what to do next and your brain can't trick you into thinking you don't. (for some reason, authors always recommend using a notebook, which i find ridiculous, bc i'll never open the damn notebook again, but i'll definitely check my phone. so i just ignore them and use the todoist app instead, pinning "today" tasks on my home screen.) this may sound exhausting or robotic, but it's actually freeing, especially if you consider the way focus and willpower work and schedule even your procrastination habits. you can't use the "just this one more time" excuse if it's already scheduled bc if it's already scheduled, you're not abdicating it forever, and if you're not abdicating it forever, you're not pushing your willpower to the limit, but saving it for the real work. plus, there's no point in creating a schedule free of distractions if you're "subconsciously planning" to give in eventually. in case the habit or activity in question is truly bad for you, you can slowly but surely (instead of drastically but ingenuously) remove it from your schedule, strengthening your willpower muscle and building a healthy pathway in your brain. just think like a drug addict, we're all drug addicts. by the way, for people new to Deep Work, great complementary reading would be Stolen Focus and the trilogy of habit —The Willpower Instinct, The Power of Habit and Atomic Habits— as these books better explain why our brain can't handle switching tasks all the time, and how it can both get addicted to "shallow" activities and be trained like an athlete to pursue deep ones.

The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It by Kelly McGonigal

informative medium-paced

3.5

instrutivo, mas repetitivo. forma uma espécie de trilogia do hábito junto com The Power of Habit e Atomic Habits. este livro, mais do que os outros dois, deixa claro o desequilíbrio entre a sociedade moderna, tão violentamente futurista, e a força primitiva de nossos genes. no entanto, cada um dos três, em uma mistura de neurociência, psicologia e auto ajuda, pega o leitor pela mão e lhe propõe estratégias para não descarrilhar antes que o capitalismo corroa por completo o seu cérebro ("você tá na merda, mas dá pra caminhar por ela sem escorregar e bater a cabeça"). apesar dessas estratégias muitas vezes se sobreporem, e de eu me questionar até que ponto os estudos que as corroboram são confiáveis, a "trilogia do hábito" é esclarecedora, relacionável e até reconfortante, tornando bem simples sua aplicabilidade.

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear

informative reflective fast-paced

3.5

I read this book exactly one year ago but never reviewed it. It was my first self-help book and I was surprised by its practical advice that can be easily applied to daily life. After finishing it, I realized I was already following some of the tips in my reading system. There's nothing groundbreaking or original here, especially if you're familiar with the productivity side of YouTube. However, those channels talking about how to get things done take a lot from Atomic Habits (and the author, in turn, took a lot from others). Among the creators I know in the field, Elizabeth Phillips seems the only one offering refreshing or more realistic content (and content more suited for people with ADHD, I dare say). Although her thumbnails lately give me "AI-generated" vibes, she and James Clear have helped me too see how I approach things more clearly and where to go from there.

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

3.75

contrary to what the words "time management" on the cover suggest, Four Thousand Weeks reads more like a philosophy text than a self-help book (there are whole paragraphs dedicated to Heidegger's masterwork, Being and Time). its most disappointing aspect, however, is not this genre ambiguity, but the joyful George Orwell quotation at the very end. the author could address Heidegger's nazi past and antisemitic views, but couldn't refrain from doing that. and this came out after the pandemic. the world is ending and we're still proudly quoting George Orwell. it's like opening a fiction book in 2024 and finding a Harry Potter reference in it. let us fucking move on. 4 stars bc the audiobook still felt like therapy. not very useful, yet quite helpful.

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change by Charles Duhigg

3.5

more like a complementary reading to Atomic Habits, as it explains how habits work neurologically, than an actual guide, even though it was published first (or perhaps because of it). paused it many times to read and do other things, but three ideas stuck with me. first, the concept of keystone habits (like that one action you repeat every morning and defines your whole day), which create a positive domino effect when controlled. thus, instead of obsessing over every behavior you want to change, you might find it easier to focus on those basic habits that directly influence the course of your day and night. secondly, the fact habits aren't directly related to or do not depend on memory, so that even amnesiacs can build complex ones. finally, the golden rule of habit change: bad habits can't be extinguished, only transformed. using the same cue and providing the same reward, you can change the routine or sequence of behaviors that links them, but this link will always be ingrained in your brain. these three factors explain why I hardly go about my day as planned the night before, and why, on the other hand, I need chains of habits and borderline obsessive rituals to properly function. as a pathological anxious and sleep deprived person, with an undiagnosed executive dysfunction, I could never rely on my memory or attention span, much less outside help, thorough my life. for that reason, I'm always taking notes, setting reminders and trying new routines, while fighting the cues to my many bad habits and getting depressed over my depressive cravings. so the good news is that memory isn't everything. the bad is that I'm a little too compulsive.

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker

dark informative reflective slow-paced

4.0

turns out my deep fear of developing Alzheimer may be actually a premonition.

Galhada by L.R. Mueller

dark mysterious tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

um conto de terror particularmente aterrorizante pra mim por envolver homem, isolamento e sujeira. fiquei pensando que, se o protagonista fosse eu, a história nem aconteceria, pq qualquer mulher daria meia volta na porta da casa do velho ou assim que topasse com ele. o final desvia drasticamente da veia jornalística que percorre a narrativa, e eu estava com mt sono pra analisá-lo com afinco.

Morte Vetada by MJ Luna

fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? N/A
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.25

autora cansou de escrever e pensou vai sem final mesmo. e ninguém precisa de desenvolvimento ou caracterização. muito menos explicações. construção de mundo é superestimada tb.