I'm not sure what to rate this. I cant find anything glaringly wrong with the book because everything seemed intentional. The characters are intentionally messy people, Reese is intentionally self sabotage-y, the ending is intentionally vague. I'm glad to have read it.....God I have no idea if I'd want to own it. Everything is just so messy. It's a great look into the world of trans feminine culture, especially in New York, but its a painful read at times.
An indepth, personal look at arguably the most important figure of FTM history in the US, Lou Sullivan's diaries don't ever shy away from the real, the relatable, the human. I cannot count how many times I stopped and said "God, hes so me." If you want to know more about FTM history, this is it.
My god the writing style. The historical and cultural references that go over my head and the actual plot, perfectly fine, no issues with those, but my god the writing style. I despise it. The book doesn't just hold your hand, it shoves you through it. No space to draw your own conclusions, every idea, thought, spoken line, and plot point is rehashed over and over again and drilled into your skull so you don't ever forget it. If you think that it'll get better after the first chapter, just save yourself the time and don't bother. If you don't like the style by the time she gets to the monastery (not a spoiler, that's in the summary) then you won't like it beyond that. I get it! Her fate is nothingness! You didn't need to tell me every other page! I got it the first 20 times!
This book was an incredibly gripping story, I had trouble putting it down even once, I was so wrapped up in the characters and the plot, I never wanted to let it go. The story is grueling and painful, but the short chapters and many perspectives offers a bit of reprieve that kept this from being outright depressing. The character Staxxx acts to raise the morale of the other characters within the text, but she did the same for me too, making me laugh when I wanted to cry. The story is a scathing indictment of the American prison system, one well deserved, and the horror comes not just from the concepts of the story, but by how close it feels to being reality. The horror of knowing we could become this held me the entire way through. The story is told in many perspectives, something I had to get used to at first, but once I had, it was a breath of fresh air, a bit of creative story telling that is hard to find in published fiction. I greatly enjoyed the author's voice and writing style, the differences between characters voice, the way I could tell who was narrating, not just by the chapter title, but by their own brand of narration. That shows a great bit of talent and skill from the author, which I absolutely applaud. Is this book sad? Upsetting? Makes you want to be sick? Absolutely. Is it one of the best fiction books I've ever read? Abso-fucking-lutely.