damalireads's reviews
216 reviews

The Whispers by Ashley Audrain

challenging dark reflective tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

This ended so cruelly like 😭 I wanted to see most people in this book SUFFER, but I'll just imagine that they did 🥰

3.5 stars. This was more psychological drama than thriller, and unfortunately I did not vibe with that as much. The culture of this intense (white) motherhood cult was soooooo horrific that I truly hope people are not living like this. Very intense awful lives these women live. I thought Rebecca was interesting and her experience with wanting a child and the many miscarriages she had. Blair annoyed me A LOT but her voice was a good contrast to Whitney. Miss Whitney is basically what happens when you listen to the voice inside your head telling you to do the wrong thing mixed with short patience and no self control. I know there's meant to be some empathy towards her, like yes motherhood can be hell on earth and the assumed sacrifice that's required is suffocating to adhere to and intoxicating to ignore wow, but I was praying for her downfall the whole time ❤️

Between this and the laughter, I will be taking a nice break from psych dramas/thrillers

The Laughter by Sonora Jha

dark mysterious tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This is one of those books that I think is really smart, darkly funny, & thought-provoking – and yet I’d definitely hesitate to blindly recommend it to everyone.

Dr. Oliver Harding is an aging white professor at a university in Seattle who sees himself as an open, but “reasonable”, liberal. Deeply entrenched in the old-school academic culture, he develops a fascination and obsession with Ruhaba Khan – a Pakistani Muslim law professor who rejects this status quo. As he becomes a mentor to her nephew Adil, visiting from France, we get unfiltered access into the mind of a man attempting to be in tune with the times but is instead a man with a complete lack of self-awareness. Campus protests, controversial costumes, and disturbing truths about Oliver’s past and Ruhaba’s present build up to a shocking ending that actually made my jaw drop.

The most surprising aspect of this book is that it’s told solely from the POV of Oliver, and his POV can be borderline unbearable. He is a clever man who knows what to say to appear like a safe ally (& he is in comparison to others in the book), but his thoughts reveal him to harbor every –ism and –phobia under the sun. His obsession with Ruhaba is immediately sexual & misogynistic, with a sprinkling of exoticism on top. The dissonance between his actions, especially with his mentorship with Adil, and his dangerous thoughts is what kept me engaged in the book enough to withstand his uncomfortable stream of consciousness. He was also, unfortunately, occasionally funny when talking about the life of an academic, aging, and realizing that he is becoming less and less relevant in his personal and professional life. His narcissistic delusion was funny to watch in real time, but it’s darker impacts became more and more clear as the story progressed. He wasn’t a cartoonish character, but felt like a very real and multi-faceted person that I had to take the time to understand.

Jha also does an impressive job of still making Ruhaba & Adil (a little less so) 3-dimensional characters outside of the judgements Oliver passes on them. Through dialogue, letters, and emails, Jha humanizes them both and made me reflect on how misleading Oliver’s (& maybe even my own) assumptions about them are. Also, the reveals about Ruhaba in particular were so well done to me - seeing the gray in her character was another testament to the complexity of the story.

Writing/pacing wise, this book was damn near perfect. I read half of the book in one sitting because it was that suspenseful and compelling. There were some scenes that dragged on, some plot points that were circled around but not fully addressed, but it wasn’t detrimental. The ending slapped me in the face but I go back and forth on whether some aspects were believable.

The ONLY reason I wouldn’t recommend this freely is that Oliver’s voice in the novel is not for the faint of heart, especially as an audiobook (something I regret lol). There is a point to all of Oliver’s griminess, but some people wouldn’t stick around long enough to find out.

But if you’re curious, & you like like campus novels & unlikeable/unreliable narrators – this book is a carefully crafted work of art.

4.5 stars

The Idiot by Elif Batuman
Did not finish book. Stopped at 12%.

Boring as hell

In The End, It Was All About Love by Musa Okwonga

emotional funny hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

The Unfortunates by J.K. Chukwu

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Sahara Nwadike is a queer, half-Nigerian/half-Black (this distinction is so wild but I get it lol), sophomore student at a PWI in the Midwest on the cusp of ending her life. With the stress of juggling her academics with her personal struggles with her identity, body, family, friends, and depression - who is her Life Partner (LP) – she sets out to do a final meaningful act of writing a thesis outlining her college experience before joining the Unfortunates – black students who disappear, drop out, or die by suicide. We follow Sahara as she stumbles through the first quarter of the year trying to maintain the performance of a Good Friend, Good Student, Good Black Person Fighting Against Endless Institutional Injustice At A PWI while she secretly plans her suicide after the winter holiday.

The plot of the book isn’t really straightforward, so Chukwu does well to add media elements into the pages to help drive the story and find creative ways to engage the reader. I really enjoyed the experimental form of storytelling through emails, texts, footnotes, theatrical scenes, and even a scantron/multiple choice exam sheet (that one was a doozy). Each chapter is titled as a “Track” and had a play on words with popular songs connected to Sahara. The art placed between each chapter also helped to set the mood surrounding Sahara’s mind. As dark as this book gets, there is also a lot of wit and humor woven through the story and showcases a strong testament to friendship.

Chukwu does a masterful job of giving full access to the mind of someone with depression and suicidal ideation. There’s no logic in depression and Sahara’s doesn’t try to argue that there is – another stark example of how she’s accepted LP’s control over her life. Sahara’s grim tone in talking about her own death or flaws can get very heavy and difficult to read, but the honesty exposes how destructive her thought patterns have become. To me, this was probably one of the best depictions of living with depression I’ve ever read. 

Something I also appreciated & related to was the depiction of how isolating it can be for black students at a PWI. While the black students had their moments at the Black Student Coalition meetings and a group chat at their fingertips, it did not outweigh the weight the university puts on them to withstand an overall sense of disinterest and dismissal of their struggles. 

My college experience wasn’t exactly like Sahara’s, but there were a lot of similarities I could personally relate to, so that influenced my overall reading experience. I have a tendency to judge books that I can personally relate to harsher than those I cannot. I already had a deep understanding with some core topics explored in this book – academia, macro/microaggressions in college, disconnection from culture, immigrant parent, depression, institutional conflict with black students/organizations – so I end up judging the book on whether I walk away with a new/unique way to view these experiences. And unfortunately, I did not, but I don’t think this takes away from the quality of the book. I haven’t read many books that talk about these topics so pointedly (only Disorientation most recently) and there’s immense value in that. Just a personal nitpick that stops me from rating this higher.

3.75 Stars

The Late Americans by Brandon Taylor

emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Full Exposure by Thien-Kim Lam
Did not finish book. Stopped at 38%.

Kinda bored but also don't think i picked this up at the right time. 

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

challenging emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Small Worlds by Caleb Azumah Nelson

emotional hopeful inspiring reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

“We stand in silence, the air heavy with things we don’t like to say to each other but can never forget: to forge these worlds for each other means to collectively dream of our freedom. In the wake of violence, acute or prolonged, we ask what we might need, how we might weather this time, how we might care for each other, how we might cultivate the space which encourages honesty, which encourages surrender. How we might build a small world, where we might feel beautiful, might feel free.”

Well y’all. He did it again. He just don’t miss fr. Brilliance and talent know him personally. Masterpiece pt. 2 what can I say. You will see me purchase anything this man releases for the rest of his days.

In Small Worlds, we follow Stephen – a child of Ghanaian immigrants living in England – through three pivotal summers in his life. As he transitions from high school to university to adult life, Stephen grapples with the changes in relationships with friends and family, and well as the changes he sees in his community by outside forces. Throughout the novel, Nelson explores the ‘small worlds’ one creates and is a part of – with family, on the dancefloor, in a jam session, with friends – and the space for freedom and honesty it allows.

“Space” is a recurring theme throughout the book. This “space” is breathing room made in the small worlds throughout the book. It’s created amongst friends, family, and sound and gives Stephen the chance to be honest, earnest, seen, and free. Ironically, there’s a fullness found in this space when you can be true to yourself and your emotions. Nelson so intensely describes this feeling that the absence of it is just as impactful. For Stephen, the absence of space is synonymous with the suffocating feeling he experiences when he becomes depressed in university.

Small Worlds also feels a bit like an English teacher’s dream because Nelson delicately crafts his themes using repetition through the whole book, giving the novel a sort of rhythm/lyrical nature you’d find in a song. The parallels found between Stephen’s life and his parents, or amongst his friends, or in his heritage, left me breathless. The love of music and dance is also an undercurrent through the whole novel, both used as a tool for expression and its absence a sign of loss and the freedom to just be.

It’s a gift to see yourself in a book, but even more so to see your culture, friends, family, and thoughts written into every page. It is very easy to resonate with the characters in this book because they are immediately made tangible by how honestly Nelson exposes their heart and emotions. This was especially poignant for me in the final chapters, where we learn about Stephen’s father’s journey from Ghana to England, and gain a new layer of understanding behind the tensions the pair of struggled through in each chapter. Seeing the hills and valleys of the relationship between father and son is what ultimately brought me to tears with this book – Nelson has a unique talent to expose the root of any relationship or emotion with a single sentence.  

Small Worlds is the type of book you need to read, re-read, and study. Understanding it leads to a better understanding of yourself, a greater love for the people in the small worlds you have, and a desire to keep building more small worlds to weather all the seasons of life.

Thanks to Grove Atlantic + netgalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee

adventurous dark emotional tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0