eliya's reviews
127 reviews

Come & Get It by Kiley Reid

3.0

very bored half the time 
then suddenly very interesting 
and then very frustrating 
and then over???

No Bad Parts: How the Internal Family Systems Model Changes Everything by Richard C. Schwartz

emotional informative inspiring slow-paced

4.5

If you exile your most vulnerable parts, they will destroy you. 

As a therapy / self-help book R. Schwartz does a fantastic job setting up the missing link, his practice, how to practice, and how it can be effective in the real world. 

No Bad Parts explores effectiveness from the self to political and interpersonal levels. 

Since I listened Ive been hearing small versions of this theory everywhere and I find that very cool. 

A little tough to lean into on a literal sense, but I personally am excited to explore this with an IFS specialist. 

My Thoughts Exactly by Lily Allen

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
Did not finish book. Stopped at 3%.

Got burnt out because I went ahead and saw the Part 1 movie while my family wanted to. Intending to go back to read this. 

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

emotional hopeful inspiring reflective slow-paced

4.0

The four agreements 

• Be impeccable with your word
• Don’t take anything personally 
• Don’t make assumptions 
• Always do your best

Cover self love, “poisonous” belief systems, God as what everything is made of, and interpersonal behavior. 

These ideas come up in many different self-help / way of life philosophies, and in therapy. 

• My personal experience with these ideas are through DBT therapy, with sphere of influence, the caution of not “story-telling,” and the tenet of “everyone is always doing the best that they can,” including that someone’s individual best may change from time to time, and may be different than what you think their best might be. 
• I’ve also seen these agreements in a nihilistic study called “Landmark,” where you learn to pay attention to you “already” emotions, that everything lacks meaning and that you assign meaning yourself. 
• I also saw a lot of similarities to Internal Family Systems, in reference to the “demons” or “voices” or even your “true self” paralleling the “inner child” of IFS. Key differences here being that IFS teaches us to embrace all of our parts, to listen, understand, and love them, while the Four Agreements teaches us to shed ourselves of the “poison” mitote.
  
  

Another good, short read to share with people who might not have therapy / self-work experience. A good foundation to follow and learn from, I could see this being very helpful to people. 

Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse

had flash backs to this book recently. horrifyingly tragic. 

Death Valley by Melissa Broder

adventurous challenging emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

A melancholic read. I felt like I was sitting next to a friend (love u melissa broder) while they told me about something traumatic. This covers death, avoidant personality types, anxiety, illness. Broder offers some raw, refreshing insight to a grieving mind. 

I saw myself in the character in many different ways.

The dying father, pre-grieving death. The parter with a long-term disability.

The anxiety, the mistrust of the self, quintessential Broder writing. 

I looked everywhere for “the answer.” I thought that anyone outside myself … knew more than i did.

- I cant find the quote now but she anecdotes that she’s afraid that if she says “my dad is dying” and then if he doesn’t, people will be mad with her lmao. I felt the same way.

The novel covers a theme I’ve been dealing with, 

Because everything we love we will lose. 

and I was hoping more that the grief exploration, honestly, would go even deeper. I think it went pretty deep for any other author, but because Broder typically takes things just a little too far, I was hoping she would explore even more. I appreciated the trippy elements, and the time-warp views of her dad and husband. Ultimately, I was taken out of it by her putting her “novel” into it. It felt too meta, too on the nose, lazy.

And her crawling through the desert with one swollen ankle, idk.

I was touched by the ending and a little taken a back.

I was prepared and honestly hoping that someone would die. I think then the grieving reader reading a grief book could virtually be hugging the author by way of finishing the book and saying “someone sees me” (or something, idk) and clutching the book to their chest, missing their loved one, but knowing that they aren’t alone. idk it felt like she was rubbing it in that they all lived hahaha.

Always happy she finds some way to include her breastfeeding kink (/gen)

The connection between her and her father I loved and sympathized with. I found myself towards the end wanting to do right by my own father and feeling that I’d consistently fallen short. 

How strange that there is nothing I can say to make him love me more. Nothing I can say to make him love me less.

Brat by Gabriel Smith

challenging dark mysterious tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

grief is hard 

Sleepovers by Ashleigh Bryant Phillips

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

holy hell. this book is a fever dream to read. i had read it pretty consistently, until The Locket. 
super dense, full of creative and heart breaking stories. this book made me feel so alone. it is beautiful and i’m glad it’s over. 

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

minus 2 for the skinny blonde woman being sad trope i don’t careeeeee about your crazy big inheritance and your “luck.” minus 2 for the description of every single person in this book. 
not as intolerable as “a certain hunger” (which seems like the same book in a different font) 
i was really really excited to read this considering how much i loved lapvona, but this one is not it.