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eliya's reviews
115 reviews
Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield
adventurous
challenging
dark
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
Struggling with where to put this rating ~ 2.75 - 3.5??
This book was rreeeally tedious and boring for the first 70% with some really beautiful lines and perspectives on grief peppered in that i am glad i read this book for.
Too many chunks of just regurgitating facts about the ocean with not enough reason for the facts, just that they were fun
Miri DOES say that it IS hard to make a person see how much you love someone, especially hard to make them love that person themself. I really wanted to be invested, and I shed a few tears, but I was taken out by the mundanity of it all. Too much detail placed on the wrong things. I don’t need to know exactly what was playing on the neighbor’s TV, what I really want to know is what the sound sounded like! I loved and appreciated the physical horror, but all around the horror elements just were mid and not enough.
Was really hopeful for this book, really beautiful idea, really beautiful phrases and thoughts, but it just misses the mark.
favorite quotes from the book -
“grief is selfish: we cry for ourselves without the person we have lost far more than we cry for the person” (p. 107)
“when I went to visit her, I found it increasingly difficult, not to imagine the two of us breaking down and turning to dust” (p. 117)
“ the gentle grasp and then drop of a hug that I’d initiated” (p. 118)
“I wore it as a badge of honor, nonetheless, picking up abandoned glasses with a sigh and fairing them to the dishwasher. I don’t really think it’s that hard, I used to say a lot, and she would apologize and fill the chip and sink with soap, and and really, now I think about it, what an absolute waste of life.” (p. 126)
“I’ve been thinking about you, a bit. I bite the tips of my fingers and I think about you.” (p. 176)
“… version of her I imagined before I met her, the gentle pressure when I pushed my lips in the cup of my own hand and pretended a kiss…” (p. 185)
This book was rreeeally tedious and boring for the first 70% with some really beautiful lines and perspectives on grief peppered in that i am glad i read this book for.
Too many chunks of just regurgitating facts about the ocean with not enough reason for the facts, just that they were fun
Miri DOES say that it IS hard to make a person see how much you love someone, especially hard to make them love that person themself. I really wanted to be invested, and I shed a few tears, but I was taken out by the mundanity of it all. Too much detail placed on the wrong things. I don’t need to know exactly what was playing on the neighbor’s TV, what I really want to know is what the sound sounded like! I loved and appreciated the physical horror, but all around the horror elements just were mid and not enough.
Was really hopeful for this book, really beautiful idea, really beautiful phrases and thoughts, but it just misses the mark.
favorite quotes from the book -
“grief is selfish: we cry for ourselves without the person we have lost far more than we cry for the person” (p. 107)
“when I went to visit her, I found it increasingly difficult, not to imagine the two of us breaking down and turning to dust” (p. 117)
“ the gentle grasp and then drop of a hug that I’d initiated” (p. 118)
“I wore it as a badge of honor, nonetheless, picking up abandoned glasses with a sigh and fairing them to the dishwasher. I don’t really think it’s that hard, I used to say a lot, and she would apologize and fill the chip and sink with soap, and and really, now I think about it, what an absolute waste of life.” (p. 126)
“I’ve been thinking about you, a bit. I bite the tips of my fingers and I think about you.” (p. 176)
“… version of her I imagined before I met her, the gentle pressure when I pushed my lips in the cup of my own hand and pretended a kiss…” (p. 185)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror, Death, and Death of parent
The Odyssey by Homer
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I CANT BELIEVE I FINISHED THE ODYSSEY
this is huge for me - this is one of the books that made me STOP reading in high school.
some absolutely horrific events ! gotta say ! but i found that when i was explaining to people what was happening play by play it had me really excited.
im just happy i read this book - not going to rate it bc its literally the odyssey and that feels weird.
this is huge for me - this is one of the books that made me STOP reading in high school.
some absolutely horrific events ! gotta say ! but i found that when i was explaining to people what was happening play by play it had me really excited.
im just happy i read this book - not going to rate it bc its literally the odyssey and that feels weird.
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski
challenging
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
Going in I anticipated a lot of out this book. I was hoping it would dive deeper into sexual anxieties & provide resources for sexual trauma, etc., but that’s not what this is. It’s setting the bar straight for sexual conversation and understanding, which is important. Emily Nagoski provides so much sex science in a very digestible way, although I personally could have done without so many analogies, it’s a first step for many on their understanding their sexuality. Once I realized that I’m not the intended audience for this book // got past what I expected this book to be, I really appreciated it for what it is.
Really well written, really well organized, very easy to follow. Highly recommend for those of you who just don’t know where to start- sex is scary to talk about, but not with Emily Nagoski. :)
Really well written, really well organized, very easy to follow. Highly recommend for those of you who just don’t know where to start- sex is scary to talk about, but not with Emily Nagoski. :)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Minor: Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Sexual harassment
When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill
adventurous
inspiring
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.5
This was a promising read at first, I was so in to the concept and the analogy, but it got lost along the way. I wasn’t sure if dragoning / dragons were supposed to be feminine anger / female rage, or transness, or lesbianism, or just non-conformity in general? I think it may have been a combination of everything.
I wanted to DNF a few times, listened to it on 2.0x just to get through lol.
One thing that really threw me off, and this might be a little mean, was the voice actor. She read with a sorrowful whine that made me angry to listen to the whole time and was quite unpleasant. TBH that was also the way it was written, the main character’s POV was dull and repetitive. Alex’s attitude the whole times was “hear all these terrible things that have happened to me? :( feel so bad for me :(“ and “gotta remember this lie! do you remember it, audience?” and it make a caricature of women and girls who through this period went through similar stuff or worse.
i believe this book would have been much more impactful if it had
-been written from a POV of one of the women who had dragonned,
-included more intersectionality instead of the brief like “people of color exist too! trans people AND black people dragoned” one offs here and there
-wrapped up to more modern take on how this history of misogyny has effected us today. the conclusion winds up being “we did it!! boy we suffered but now we don’t have to suffer anymore” when - um no - the work is not done people are still suffering in the same and different ways than in the 1950s.
Its approach is very like “women sure did suffer in the 1950s” when it wasn’t just middle class housewives and their children who suffered, there were so many other people and cultures who sufferered more?? and the suffering is still happening??
I wanted to DNF a few times, listened to it on 2.0x just to get through lol.
One thing that really threw me off, and this might be a little mean, was the voice actor. She read with a sorrowful whine that made me angry to listen to the whole time and was quite unpleasant. TBH that was also the way it was written, the main character’s POV was dull and repetitive. Alex’s attitude the whole times was “hear all these terrible things that have happened to me? :( feel so bad for me :(“ and “gotta remember this lie! do you remember it, audience?” and it make a caricature of women and girls who through this period went through similar stuff or worse.
i believe this book would have been much more impactful if it had
-been written from a POV of one of the women who had dragonned,
-included more intersectionality instead of the brief like “people of color exist too! trans people AND black people dragoned” one offs here and there
-wrapped up to more modern take on how this history of misogyny has effected us today. the conclusion winds up being “we did it!! boy we suffered but now we don’t have to suffer anymore” when - um no - the work is not done people are still suffering in the same and different ways than in the 1950s.
Its approach is very like “women sure did suffer in the 1950s” when it wasn’t just middle class housewives and their children who suffered, there were so many other people and cultures who sufferered more?? and the suffering is still happening??
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Child abuse, Misogyny, Toxic relationship, and Transphobia
A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Really sweet, heart warming book.
Sobbed through the first half. Made me think of my dad.
There’s something to be said about people from this age group who either never were able, or were never taught or demonstrated how to forgive, how to move on. What your sphere of influence is and others around you
This book is about a man who has good intentions and is sweet on the inside, a nutcracker kind of guy, who is mad for valid reasons and then he finds out life is worth living, okay, and then he’s nice to those around him because they see the soft on the inside of all that hardness.
I don’t find his meanness charming, I don’t excuse him for the way he talks about his neighbors. I empathize with him. The book was sweet, I cried like a hole in a waterpipe, but I did not like ove and I felt bad for the people around him.
There’s this weird phenomena of this generation or men, idk what it is, where;
1. what’s happened to you is the worst thing to happen to anyone ever and you can’t move past yourself to acknowledge the suffering that is living, and,
2. to almost expect your community or the people who you care about to see through your nastiness and show that you’re good. There’s this brand of people who believe that if you do good actions that’ll show you’re good, and you don’t have to show basic human kindness to anyone! Pithy excuse for emotional immaturity that I’m exhausted by and made me angry to read.
Sobbed through the first half. Made me think of my dad.
I don’t find his meanness charming, I don’t excuse him for the way he talks about his neighbors. I empathize with him. The book was sweet, I cried like a hole in a waterpipe, but I did not like ove and I felt bad for the people around him.
There’s this weird phenomena of this generation or men, idk what it is, where;
1. what’s happened to you is the worst thing to happen to anyone ever and you can’t move past yourself to acknowledge the suffering that is living, and,
2. to almost expect your community or the people who you care about to see through your nastiness and show that you’re good. There’s this brand of people who believe that if you do good actions that’ll show you’re good, and you don’t have to show basic human kindness to anyone! Pithy excuse for emotional immaturity that I’m exhausted by and made me angry to read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Fatphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Animal cruelty, Death, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Dementia, Grief, Medical trauma, and Pregnancy
The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward
challenging
funny
informative
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
A scathing review on heterosexuality and the straight man.
Brought up some problems that I hadn’t thought deeply about, really interesting read.
Chuckled a little bit about how in some studies for her published book she goes “this isn’t very scientific… but it counts”. Pop off, it counts for me but i’m already on ur side 😭
Can’t wait to talk to everyone and their mother about this book.
Brought up some problems that I hadn’t thought deeply about, really interesting read.
Chuckled a little bit about how in some studies for her published book she goes “this isn’t very scientific… but it counts”. Pop off, it counts for me but i’m already on ur side 😭
Can’t wait to talk to everyone and their mother about this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny
Minor: Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Sexual harassment
Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind by Molly McGhee
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Maybe my favorite book I have read this year so far. It is worth noting that the books that call to me or especially are touching to me are the ones that follow the human experience in its rawest form. The characters are neither good nor bad (debatable to some), just plagued with choice and consequence.
Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind is about the lies we tell ourselves to quiet the sting of guilt and regret. It is about the crushing weight of what we owe to those around us. Jonathan Abernathy is a well-meaning man in so much financial debt, he does what he is convinced is the “right” decision - the only way to get out of the debt he is submerged in. He is a rule follower, he actively doesn’t do things that might cause him any more pain and suffering than he already endures. Jonathan Abernathy is so afraid of making a bad decision, he makes none. So many of his circumstances happened upon him, so he appears to think that even if he does absolutely nothing, bad things will happen. He is a spineless man and he is me at my worst. This character really resonated with me.
The book ends so beautifully. This is such a heartbreaking story and I will remember it for so long.
The book ends so beautifully. This is such a heartbreaking story and I will remember it for so long.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child death, Cursing, and Grief
Minor: Body horror, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Blood, and Death of parent
The Magicians by Lev Grossman
quentin is insufferable!!! dont let him around me or my girls!!!
adventurous
dark
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
god when i say i c r a w l e d through this book
- luckily, the book is fairly fast paced and easy to follow, so i didn’t find myself losing focus or having to go back at all, which i was definitely worried about
- at first the way that the scenes really do race by— like this book is literally “this happens- then this happens- then this happens- then this happens” was jarring, but i sort of liked the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants feel when i was reading this lmao
- to Lev Grossman’s credit, i do think he made it as short as he possibly could (this is 400 pages & 17.5h audiobook) lol
quentin is insufferable!!! dont let him around me or my girls!!!
- i like an unlikeable character- one of my favorite tropes- but christ alive this guy STUNK! it wasn’t like any of his devious were the folly of being a person who does good and bad thing, he just did shitty things because he’s shitty!! genuinely don’t know how he kept friends or girlfriends around and i’m excited for the tv show because i’ve heard it’s completely different
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo
very informative, kept coming back to the body and physiological responses to trauma, as the title suggests.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
heartbreakingly raw and hard to listen to at points. stephanie foo shares some truly horrifying memories.
fascinating approaches to CPTSD
fascinating approaches to CPTSD
- some approaches i’m familiar with, some i’ve only day-dreamed about haha.
- would love to approach conversation in a Nathan Fielder’s “the rehearsal” way lol. gave me some sold things to bring to my therapist when i have one. made me reconsider the way i interact in conversations.
very informative, kept coming back to the body and physiological responses to trauma, as the title suggests.
- lots of information regarding generational trauma and how it effects people of color.
- i was particularly intrigued by the
rat study about generational trauma
cringy / cheesy at some points, as is the nature with healing books. some eyeroll moments where the author acknowledges very briefly but very obviously obligatorily her class privileges to be able to access this type of care. ultimately helpful for me as a reader, though, to see what type of healing is possible (?) even though it definitely feels out of reach rn.
truly moving and hopeful.
truly moving and hopeful.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse and Abandonment
Moderate: Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Xenophobia, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Gaslighting
Minor: Body shaming, Fatphobia, Sexism, Medical content, Medical trauma, War, Injury/Injury detail, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I love bell hooks’ writing style. I love how she doesn’t miss a beat, or a perspective. I love her attention to detail, her straightforwardness. I never feel that she repeats herself just for the sake of word count.
I learned a lot from this book, I definitely intend to reread this, get the physical book and highlight some things.
I learned a lot from this book, I definitely intend to reread this, get the physical book and highlight some things.