Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
I interpreted this book as a horror. I didn't like any of the characters at all, particularly not the man that Keiko ends up living with. I didn't see any character development at all, which only heightened the unsettling horror of the novel.
There were many parts of this book that made me tear up, or were very meaningful to me. This was exactly the book I wanted to read at this point in my life - where I've moved away from everything I've ever known to pursue a career, where I've moved to be with and work with my best friend, where another friend and I shared a delightful and ultimately all too brief holiday with no promise of seeing each other again for a long time.
One I also have a best friend who I've known for a long time. I love him so dearly, and I see my friendship in Sadie and Sam's. I've often said that I would not be who I am today if not for him, and there is no one who knows me quite as well, and I'm sure no one who knows him quite as well as I do. It is rare that I get to read about a friendship like this one, where the characters mirror the way we are in our relationship. My friend and I also work together, and collaborating in exactly the way Sam and Sadie do.
Two Oh Sam. Suffering silently, unable or unwilling to speak about pain and anxiety. People not knowing enough to even ask questions - this made me so goddamn sad.
Three Definitely saw elements of my past self in Sadie when she was with Dov. Bit too much of a people pleaser, enjoyed praise from certain people a little too much.
Four Next time, we fail better The most recent project at work I embarked on was one where I was the driving force. For reasons different to Both Sides, my project was, at least in one sense, a failure. I was unpleasantly surprised at the failure itself and also how I felt about the failure. Failing is embarrassing; it's embarrassing to believe so wholeheartedly in a project when you didn't realise other people might see it a different way. I'd been thinking about just dropping the whole thing, moving to another country, and trying something completely new - but perhaps what I need to do is try again and fail better next time.
I think this might also be a good approach to relationships. Try again, and fail better.
Five Life is always arriving. This sentence is still bubbling away in my head days after I've finished the book. I read this sentence right after I said goodbye to my friend Ellen at a train station in Madrid. When saying goodbye it struck me that endings and goodbyes always felt so poignant, and even though I know that every goodbye is a chance for a new beginning, the beginnings don't hold that same sense of meaningfulness in that moment. If only I got to know which beginnings would lead to good things, then I might feel more joy and excitement! This line helps to ground me in this potential for joy and excitement about all the good that is to come.
Interesting and amusing. It's funny to me that the book affords all the animals reference with at least a little personality and agency, but refers to them as objects with the pronoun 'it'.
I didn't find the main characters 'lovable' however I was definitely on their side for the whole way and wanted a very happy ending for them. Bit of a devastating book, teared up at many points.
I read this book in about a day and a half, really enjoyed it! Dark and uncomfortable themes of parental emotional abuse which made it a challenging read as well.
I absolutely loved the worldbuilding here; particularly descriptions of the different species. I really enjoyed each species being used as a metaphor for some aspects of human life and our ways of identifying ourselves and how we relate to others.
Notable parts that made me cry: - descriptions of being away from home for a long time - Aandrisk relationship styles - Corbin injecting Ohan - Lovey's death
I also thought the discussion of AI having personhood was very interesting.