Bruh the way this book uncovered deep seated memories of animal abuse, the way it affected me. The impossibility of being gentle, loving, or tender when the same has never been shown to you. The “pit bull” archetype of domestic violence; loyal but ever fearful of abandonment. The way families are torn apart by settler colonial capitalism. The guilt of being born female, carrying with the added weight of those around you. And the way mothers perpetuate the cycle of abuse the most onto their daughters, who serve as a mirror. Giving someone the things that you wanted most is gut wrenchingly painful, and sometimes impossible. To be confronted with all that you never received. Did we ever even deserve it?
I read this during my first bought of covid, in a weird fever dream that made me forget where the book ended and my real life began. I wish so much I had written this book; it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to talk about. I can’t wait to make my way through her bibliography and flip through the book again the next time I come down with anything remotely flu-like. I think it’s enjoyed best that way. The vibes in this book were fucking immaculate. And made me feel less insane.
-would love a breakdown of relational steps he took. There’s an order -noticed that there is a lot of overlap between his perspective and Esther perrell’s…would love to read more of his work. His voice does not placate; it is more honest and real than a lot of other “therapeutic” approaches
In conjunction with other things currently happening, this awoke me to the desire I have to heal my relationships with men. Going to f/u with Terrance Real’s book next (referenced frequently)
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Definitely the more palatable collection of short stories if choosing between her two English collections. But that doesn't mean it was my personal favorite! This work was dark, horrific at times, and cutting in its depiction of Latin America. At times I felt genuinely nauseous. Other times, I felt enraged by repressed memories of exes (Spiderweb). Such a beautiful work by one of my new favorite writers. Honestly ruthless in the best way possible. Disturbing in a way that makes fucked up people feel sane.
I'm giving this a 5 star review because it's what woke me up after my breakup. It's not the height of literary achievement, but it is informative of something I'd learned about before and never considered applying to myself. How could I, a strong, assertive, bold woman, be "codependent"? Turns out it means something else entirely from what I had internalized from my own psychoeducation. This helped me to name the issues I had faced throughout my relationships. Helped me to find the hidden similarities between them. Video games/gaming as an addiction in my ex partner. And helping to identify my own addictions. Just so incredibly informative and helpful, as cheesy and corny as it felt to read it, and as embarrassed as I was about it at times. It was genuinely transformational.