Edelweiss Digital ARC

Needless to say, I will be buying a physical copy upon publication. Full review pending as I detangle my stream of consciousness notes.

EDIT: okay so I’m bad at reworking my thoughts but my friend thought my reading notes were entertaining so if you have already read the book or don’t mind spoilers enjoy my stream of consciousness!

• Effy is somewhat of an unreliable narrator but even that observation in itself feels like gaslighting. She’s an unfortunate girl in a heavily patriarchal misogynistic society, a negligent mother that was emotionally abusive and absent, gaslit by doctors telling her she’s crazy, and sexually assaulted/objectified adding to her trauma and ptsd which has in turn made her anxiety and self worth borderline self-destructive.

• The widow is the true author of Myrddin’s writings. Obviously. The internalized misogyny that is preventing that clear fact from being even a potential theory/idea in anyone’s mind is unfortunate.

• Is Ianto actually the Fairy King and not Myrddin’s son? Or is that Effy’s ptsd and poor coping skills making her brain see scary men as the Fairy King? She has mentioned she’s never had a hallucination during broad daylight but she’s also in an unfamiliar environment in an enclosed space with a strange man she doesn’t trust after he very clearly—and inappropriately—hit on her. Regardless he’s a suspicious character for sure. Creepy if nothing else. And if Ianto is the Fairy King and the widow the true author, is the work semi-self biographical?

• Men are trash in this novel until proven otherwise. Preston is okay for now but he’s on thin ice. Despite everything he still displays misogynistic tendencies, especially when it concerns the widow. But Effy also displays some rather racist/xenophobic tendencies despite herself. I chalk that up to well-written character arcs that are realistic rather than idyllic. Reid has a strong grasp on making the fantastical seem very real and tangible in a scary way.

• Also the widow insists that Effy doesn’t sleep in the house but in the cottage off the main property where there is iron affixed to the door which is a notorious ward against the Fae. That supports the Ianto is the Fairy King theory. Also all of the missing mirrors even on the car.

• Mother of the Fucking year folks. I kinda want a map of all the patron saints of this world, they sound so interesting. Changelings are a bit different in this world but it’s not too far off. Interesting that changeling children are named after saints.

• This feels like it’s tipping more into psychological thriller than fantasy.

• I have a bad feeling Ianto is going to do something even more unhinged than his normal erratic behavior that is dangerous to Effy in a sickly obsessive kind of way. Even if he’s not the Fairy King and just under the influence (his dad sounds like a real piece of work) he feels dangerous in a vague way. Maybe he’s mad in the sense he thinks he’s the Fairy King? The very beginning of the book after the dedication (this is a love story—right, that’s concerning so far) there’s a “quote” from ‘Angharad’ where the Fairy King refuses mirrors. Even in Iantos personal rooms the one mirror wasn’t usable. Not looking great for him either way.

• I hope there’s a world map in the official publication.

• They think Blackmar wrote Angharad because the diary keeps referring to Blackmar however that’s the last name. They are forgetting he married one of Blackmar’s daughters.

• “Shakily, Blackmar rose to his feet. In the time it took him to stand, Effy watched a fly land on the taxidermy deer head and crawl into one of its nostrils. The deer was unperturbed. Dead, as it should be.”

Respectfully, what the fuck.

• “Why was it always girls whose forms could not be trusted? Everything could be taken away from them in an instant.”

Misogyny.

• Omg, sharing a bed trope?? Love that. I see you Reid.

• We love a slow burn

• I suppose it hasn’t been clarified: did Myrddin marry Blackmar’s eldest daughter? Is that not his wife? Regardless, it’s clear she wrote Angharad be she the wife or not. Men are trash either way. Meaning Angharad was written by a woman—gasp!—pause for dramatic effect.

• Fav quote so far:

“‘I will love you to ruination, the Fairy King said, brushing a strand of golden hair from my cheek. Yours or mine? I asked. The Fairy King did not answer.’”

I mean come on, that’s hauntingly beautiful.

• They literally found letters where Myrddin basically says Blackmar’s daughter was the writer but they (Effy and Preston) still haven’t come to that conclusion???? Seriously??? Myrddin basically said Angharad was her self influence muse!! (Also they keep conveniently not saying the daughter’s name which feels like a big hint) Based on how women are treated even at the current time of this book, decades ago surly she took advantage of Myrddin to have her own works published not assuming he stole them from her.

• “You don’t see yourself very clearly, Effy.” Preston shifted in his seat so that they were facing one another. “Challenging me isn’t pestering. I’m not always right. Sometimes I deserve to be challenged. And changing your mind isn’t foolish. It just means you’ve learned something new. Everyone changes their mind sometimes, as they should, or else they’re just, I don’t know, stubborn and ignorant. Moving water is healthy; stagnant water is sickly. Tainted.”

YES we love Preston

• My poor poor traumatized children (yes, I recognize these are college age adults.)

• Effy, the term you’re looking for is disassociation and it is NOT a NEAT TRICK

• “You took away all the other wanting from me.”

Oh my god

• Kids, I know you’re horny, but is now really the time??

• Damn I really did call it. One for two so far, time will only tell.

• Ope okay then.

• Ayoooo two for two!! I fucking called it from the beginning. The wife was the real author and Ianto was the fairy king (kinda)

• Angharad really said men are trash

• “I was eighteen,” said Angharad again. “That meant I was a woman, in some people’s eyes. Well—I was a woman when it was convenient to blame me, and a girl when they wanted to use me. Everyone thought that I wanted it. I convinced myself that I wanted it, too…”

• While I believe Effy needed Angharad, I think Angharad needed Effy just as much. They are both survivors of a very unique and similar circumstance amidst a very common circumstance and that alliance is healing in itself.

• “Effy laughed again. “I thought you weren’t a romantic.” “I wasn’t,” Preston said, cheeks still pink. “Until you.”

Ohmygods stop I love these two

• I’m so tempted to go back through this entire book to see how many times Preston’s hair is varyingly referred to as “tousled his already tousled hair” “messed his already messed hair” etc because I know it’s a lot (not a complaint)

• I also really enjoy the subtle shift in Effy’s narrative. Before she was noting signs of death, and now she notes signs of life

• “And to Zelda: I remember you. I believe you.”

What a haunting way to end the acknowledgments section.

Content Warnings