gnomepatronus's reviews
306 reviews

Trick Play by Eden Finley

adventurous funny hopeful lighthearted sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Book one gave us a glimpse into these characters, and I was dying for more Noah. Let me tell you, this book did NOT disappoint! From the very first page, it grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. We go from “we can kiss and not be a couple,” to “there’s all this tension, so let’s just get it out in the sheets,” to “no worries, we can keep it casual,” to “just because we’re having sex doesn’t mean it has to be quick and meaningless.” Every step of their relationship was packed with so much personality and chemistry. Every “SURE, guys, SURE” moment felt natural and fit perfectly with their chaotic energy.

The fake dating trope was an absolute win here. Matt, the grumpy football star, gets outed in the most humiliating way. A pants-down photo splashed across the media. (And as you can imagine, that did not go over well with the team owner) Time to fix that rep with the public and try to get a new contract. (Maybe shouldn’t have done that the year of contract renewal my dude) 

Then there’s Noah, a politician’s rebellious kid who seems to live for stirring the pot, especially when it comes to making trouble for dear old dad. (Honestly though, he dad DESERVES…well things I can’t type without getting into trouble I am sure) 

What makes this book stand out is that neither of them fits the “sunshine” role. They’re both walking disasters, a chaotic mess of sarcasm, wit, and stubbornness…well they are both assholes..LOL

But their messiness work, and makes this book so wonderful and fun to read. The confusion, the vulnerability, and the way they protect and care for each other as they navigate their feelings? It’s absolutely beautiful. Watching them grow, not just as individuals but in their relationship, made my heart ache in the best way. (Add the family stuff on top of it….OH AND THE GYM!! Fuck that Gym!)

The banter, the tension, the steamy scenes—this book delivered on all fronts. Matt and Noah’s story is everything I hoped for and more. Honestly, stop reading this review and go pick it up now. Trust me, you’ll want to experience every moment for yourself!

Moonstruck by Onley James

adventurous funny hopeful lighthearted fast-paced

3.5

Oh, Atticus. Of course you, the reluctant killer, would stumble across a smart-mouthed man with bloodlust practically carved into his soul. And Jericho—oh, sweet, chaotic Jericho—he set his sights on you, threw his heart on the line, and I had no choice but to fall hard for him.

The way he flipped the script, stalked you, wore you, and then OWNED you? I was living for EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. And just when I thought this couldn’t get better, we find out Jericho isn’t some lone wolf vigilante…NOPE, he’s part of a whole crew of killers. A whole group of them! So YES, Atticus is from a family of trained killers and meets a man from a group of killers!! How is this even real?!

BUT WAIT. It gets better. Jericho gives Atticus the CUTEST nickname that had me melting, and then he made me second-guess everything I thought about the Mulvaney boys. Are they really incapable of feelings? I don’t think so, and honestly? I think Daddy Mulvaney got it wrong with this one. Jericho has the proof and STANDS UP FOR HIS MAN! (That scene!! LOVE LOVE LOVE)

Sure, there’s a plot about a maybe-murdered family member, a dirty cop, and…other stuff? But let’s be real: if it didn’t directly tie into Jericho and Atticus’s slow-burn chaos, it was background noise. I couldn’t even tell you how it wrapped up. I don’t care.

5/5 for the relationship.
2/5 for the side plot (which, let’s face it, I barely remember).
But the cuddles, the popcorn, and all the freckles? Perfection.

Lotus by Jennifer Hartmann

emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

It’s been almost 24 hours since I finished this book, and it’s still lingering with me. The journey Oliver takes and his path to recovery and self-discovery is nothing short of beautiful. From the moment he took that first leap back, I was rooting for him with my whole heart. His circumstances were so far beyond his control and unimaginable for most of us, but his resilience and growth made every page worth it.

Now, Sydney… Oh, Sydney. As a standalone character, she’s someone I could see myself loving in a different book. But here? She frustrated me so much for a big chunk of the story. I couldn’t root for her; I just couldn’t. She was pushing Oliver away under the guise of protecting their friendship, all while leaning on him, someone so clearly carrying deep trauma, to make herself feel better. And yes, I definitely held that against her.

But here’s the thing: my frustration wasn’t entirely fair. The real reason Sydney was getting under my skin was something I was too focused on Oliver to see. (I know those of you who connected with her from the start probably picked up on this emotional thread way before I did.) When that pivotal moment came when she finally opened up and told Oliver the truth—it hit me like a tidal wave. That’s when she broke through the walls I’d built around my heart.

I’m a crier, okay? And this book had me crying a lot. Tears of joy, sorrow, frustration—moments where it felt like my heart was being torn open and someone was pouring lemon juice into the wounds. Just when I thought I’d caught my breath, there would be another twist…yes, TWISTS—that broke my heart all over again.

This story isn’t just about recovery; it’s about connection, understanding, and the complicated ways we lean on each other when we’re at our most vulnerable. It hurt. It healed. It stuck with me.

Talking As Fast As I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls, and Everything in Between by Lauren Graham

First off, I don’t rate memoirs. It feels weird, like putting a number on someone’s actual life. Memoirs are them—their story, their heart—and not every person who writes a memoir is a writer. But that’s not the point.

Now, let’s talk about this book. I’m a die-hard Gilmore Girls fan—my number one favorite show of all time (yes, I know, not every scene aged perfectly, but it still holds a special place in my heart). When this book came out, it felt like a gift: one more moment of Gilmore Girls magic wrapped in nostalgia.

Reading it was like Lorelai Gilmore herself grabbed a pen and decided to write a memoir instead of Lauren Graham. It’s chaotic, heartfelt, funny, and full of those delightful tangents that make you think, Wait, how did we get here? It’s not just a book; it’s like sitting on at the counter at Lukes with Lorelai, drinking coffee, and talking life.

For anyone who’s ever loved Stars Hollow, this is a must-read. It’ll never replace the show, but it gives you just enough of that warm, familiar feeling to make you want to go back for a rewatch.

Looker by Laura Sims

challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective tense medium-paced

• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This book needs its own genre because it is NOT your typical thriller or mystery. You think you’re walking into a psychological suspense? Ha! Joke’s on you. This book is its own brand of twisted, and honestly, I’m here for it.

I picked this book up for two magic words: “unreliable narrator.” Give me a messy, chaotic narrator any day, and I’ll devour it. Normally, I like going in blind on that detail, but in this case, it only added to the experience. Our narrator? Oh, she’s a whole situation. She’s struggling with infertility, a failed marriage, and a life that feels like one big dumpster fire. And when she locks eyes on her neighbor—an actress—she spirals. FAST.

She stops taking her meds, starts obsessing, and drags us headfirst into her unraveling psyche. The wildest part? As things escalate, you’re questioning everything. What’s real? What’s in her head? Is this even happening? You don’t get an investigator to swoop in and tie it all up with a neat little bow. Nope! You’re stuck in the unreliable narrator’s mind, piecing together her version of events. And honestly…it’s disorienting in the best way.

This book will leave you with more questions than answers, but that’s the whole point. It’s not trying to fit into a box. It’s weird, unsettling, and completely offbeat—a fresh take in a genre that often feels too predictable. If you’re looking for something that breaks the mold, challenges your brain, and makes you second-guess reality? This is it.

Strange? Absolutely. Worth it? 100%.

Dream Girl Drama by Tessa Bailey

emotional funny hopeful fast-paced

3.25

Okay, let’s drop the puck on this review because I really wanted this book to be a 5-star hat trick that lit the lamp and made me cheer like I was in a playoff game. But instead? The first 75% was like watching your team pass the puck around without ever shooting—frustrating, slow, and leaving me questioning all my life choices. THEN the ending came along, hit me with a breakaway goal, and salvaged the game. It was enough to make the book a solid read, but I won’t be throwing my jersey over it anytime soon. (Yes, I googled hockey references…LOL, I am becoming a good hockey reader..LOL)

Chloe, our rich-girl FMC, starts out so extra she could be Paris Hilton’s stunt double on The Simple Life.Actually, I think Paris and Nicky had more sense than our girl Chloe! Seriously, this girl doesn’t know what money is, what things cost, or how to function without a personal assistant. She’s also a musical prodigy so she’s never worked for anything in her life. The first 30% of the book? I wanted to force her into a Budgeting 101 class and say, “Honey, get it together.” BUT, her absolute cluelessness gave her plenty of room for growth (and I mean PLENTY)…eventually turning her into an actual human I could root for.

Then there’s Sig. Sweet, bossy, budget friendly, lovable, overworked Sig. He’s a professional hockey player with the energy of “I don’t need it..” He supports his mom, drives a truck that breaks down more often than my willpower in the snack aisle, and lives in an apartment so shabby it looks like Goodwill did a charity drop. He’s gruff, rough around the edges, and basically the anti-Chloe in every way. And ends up supporting her so she can move to the same city as him. (As in, paying for rent in a luxury apartment, and giving her extra money. Yes, part is self-serving, but still..he is going to go broke to support her)

Now, the forbidden romance? A definite bright spot! It didn’t feel too over-the-top, and the tension between Chloe and Sig was palpable. But here’s the problem: Chloe’s childish behavior lasted too long,and Sig? The poor guy needed a little more balance. They were written so exaggeratedly to fit their archetypes that I couldn’t fully connect with them until they both hit their character development glow-ups. Just as I was getting into it, they backslid into over-the-top clichés.

This is one of those books where readers are either going to LOVE it or leave it. For me? It’s a “read it once, chuck it in the penalty box, and move on” kind of situation. (Did you see I got another hockey reference in there)

BUT, credit where it’s due: the ending did tie things up nicely, and if you’re a fan of forbidden romance, character growth arcs, or hockey hunks with trucks older than dirt, you might enjoy it more than I did. As for me, I’ll stick to pretend screaming at hockey games and leaving Chloe and Sig to work out their issues on their own ice.

That Time I Accidentally Took Over The Mafia. by Rebekah Sinclair

adventurous dark funny lighthearted mysterious tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Loveable characters? Yes

5.0

What a GLORIOUSLY unhinged, chaotic ride this book is! Picture this: you wake up after the worst one-night stand of your life, and who’s in your kitchen? Your ex-fiancé (jailed on your wedding day—why is he out again?), your stepbrother (it’s complicated, okay, they were together before the whole step thing), and your ex-boss (who you REALLY should’ve called HR on). Oh, and they’re casually flipping pancakes and making eggs like it’s Sunday brunch. Delaney doesn’t even have time to process the fact that these three men are now boyfriends before they’re all, “Your life’s in danger, babe,” and she’s just trying to figure out if she can at least get a second cup of coffee first.

And thus begins the wildest, steamiest adventure that’s equal parts dark romance, laugh-out-loud comedy, and mafia chaos—with a side of spatula appreciation. Because let me tell you, these boys know how to handle more than just a spatula in the kitchen and the bedroom. Trust me: Don’t disrespect the spat.

From that chaotic breakfast table, the story kicks into high gear: blown-up houses, helicopter escapes, cliff tumbles, and a singular but unforgettable murder shed (because every good dark romance needs one). It’s action-packed, funny as hell, and so spicy. Like, someone-call-the-fire-department spicy. Delaney’s trying to stay alive while navigating feelings for these three ridiculously hot men, and let’s be real—there’s not a lot of time to sort out emotions when you’re dodging bullets and sexual tension.

Speaking of sexual tension: every single scene is dripping with it. The chemistry is OFF the charts. And when one of these fine gentlemen looks Delaney dead in the eyes and declares, “I am not a piece of meat,” all she (and we) can think is, Oh yes… yes you are, sir!! (Quick reminder to stay hydrated as you read)

What makes this book stand out isn’t just the spice (though, wow, it delivers) or the mafia vibes (because, yes, there’s plenty of that). It’s the balance of humor, heart, and action. Each of these men has a past, and their personalities shine through in every interaction—whether they’re fighting bad guys or arguing over the last pancake. They don’t rely on Delaney to “complete” them; they’re full, complex characters on their own. But the way they love and protect her and each other? It’s swoon-worthy.

This is MMMF at its finest, with every combination you could want and plenty of moments that’ll leave you laughing, gasping, or fanning yourself (sometimes all three at once). And Delaney? She’s a self-made, no-nonsense, bad*ss heroine who refuses to let her life turn into a rom-com—except, well, maybe just this once.

If you’re looking for a dark romance that’ll have you clutching your thighs, howling with laughter, and begging for more, THIS is the book for you. Mafia vibes, spatula moments, and so much steam you’ll need a cold shower—add it to your TBR right now. Trust me, it’s one hell of a ride! (And why this is a Why Choose, I do choose to start with Jax)

Upside Down by N.R. Walker

funny hopeful lighthearted reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

I enjoyed this book SO MUCH I’m practically throwing confetti just thinking about it. I was giggling my way through every “motherfucker,” rambling tangent, and ridiculously cute moment. By chapter one, I was already head over heels for Jordan and his chaotic, lovable crew of friends.

This book takes you on a ride through emotional gymnastics but somehow keeps the angst low and the vibes high, letting the characters’ personalities shine through. Watching Jordan wrestle with whether the label “asexual” fits him—and if he even wantsa label—was both heartwarming and heartbreaking. (Listen, I’m a certified softie, and even when it’s not meant to be heartbreaking, my heart aches for anyone navigating the struggle of identity, on or off the page.)

And then there’s Hennessy. Oh. My. Goodness. The moments where Jordan and Hennessy have their five-minute interactions? GOLD. Absolute gold. Those scenes are some of my favorites in the book, full of charm, sweetness, and a level of “awww” that should be illegal. I felt like I’d been officially inducted into the Soup Crew, cheering for these two with my whole heart and swooning as their relationship grew—question by adorable question.

And let’s talk about Angus, the roommate. I ADORE HIM. I need to know if there’s a story out there just for him because I’m not ready to let go of this group of friends. Every character, every joke, every heartfelt moment—and yes, every single “motherfucker”—was chef’s kiss perfect.

Pen Pal by J.T. Geissinger

dark emotional mysterious reflective tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes

5.0

Shut the front door, board up every window, and hold on tight—because WHAT DID I JUST READ?!

It’s been over 12 hours since I finished this absolute whirlwind of a book, and I’m still wandering around in a daze like I’ve been hit by a freight train. The opening had me thinking, “Oh, I see where this is going.” Spoiler alert: I had no idea. Whatever I thought this book’s intentions were? Completely wrong. It flipped the script and delivered pure, unhinged brilliance.

There were moments that left me sitting there, staring at the page, asking myself, is this actually happening right now? Other moments had me clutching my metaphorical pearls, and let’s not even get into the scenes that had me shifting in my seat. By the end, my brain, heart, and soul weren’t just shaking—they were vibrating with the sheer audacity of what I’d just experienced.

I know this review is chaotic, but honestly? So is this book, and that’s the beauty of it. This is a story you have to go into blind. Seriously, don’t read the blurb, don’t ask around—just dive in headfirst. All I knew going in was the cover, the title, and a few people saying it was “good.” That was an understatement. This wasn’t just good—it was phenomenal. And on top of that, it hit one of my favorite tropes so perfectly that I’m now on a mission to find more books like it. (Not telling you the trope—you’ll thank me later.)

So, if you’re ready for something wild, unpredictable, and completely unforgettable, grab this book, dive in blind, and enjoy the ride. Trust me—you’re not ready for what’s coming, but that’s half the fun!

Fake Out by Eden Finley

funny hopeful lighthearted medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Loveable characters? Yes

4.75

This book had a first for me. It introduced a character I started out loving, but by the end, I was—and still am—so, SO angry at them. (More on that later—it’s a side character.)

This is Book One in the 80ish-book Sadenverse series. Originally, I planned to only read Saxon James’ books and the Puckboy series. But I was quickly (and loudly) informed of my error—complete with looks that suggested I’d committed puppy mistreatment. Thank you to everyone at Love N Vegas who corrected me before I started this journey! Otherwise, I would’ve missed out on Maddox and Damon, and honestly, my life wouldn’t be the same without them.

Let’s talk Maddox. The guy tells his girlfriend he’s gay just to get out of marrying her. Now, years later, everyone still thinks he’s gay. So, of course, when the situation demands it, he has to pretend to be gay. Thankfully, his best friend has a gay brother (Damon) who agrees to play the role of fake boyfriend. But, BUT… (picture me gesturing wildly, trying not to spoil anything)…since this is an M/M romance, you already know Maddox isn’t not gay—but he’s not entirely sure what he is, either. We get to follow along as Maddox navigates his feelings and figures it all out.

Damon, however, doesn’t want to be the guy Maddox “figures it out” with. He’s been there before, and it didn’t go well. Damon’s inner struggle is so raw and realistic; nothing feels thrown in for drama. And just when I thought I had a handle on the story—BAM! Something happens that absolutely SHOOK ME. I mean, socks-off-my-feet, straight-into-the-washer kind of shook. But here’s the thing: it’s handled so well, and it lets Maddox really show that his words and feelings align.

Now, let’s get to Stacy—Maddox’s best friend and sister. She’s the prankster with a sweet face, the kind of person who’d defend you with her last breath…but also the kind who drives you up the wall. Sure, we love her for orchestrating the fake dating and the comic relief she brings in the first 30 pages. BUT, Stacy—girl—if you ever pull what you did at that dinner or that event again, I will personally find a way to write myself into this series to deal with you. You’re NOT cute, you’re NOT funny, and I am STILL so mad at you that I’m thankful you’re just ink on a page!