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imme_van_gorp's Reviews (778)
This picked up right where Sweating Lies left off, but this sequel was very different from the first book.
It's not nearly as dark or intense, and instead focuses more on the psychological aspect of Associative Identity Disorder, and also on the romance between Jiao and Kaspar.
It's a lot less plot-heavy than the first book, and doesn't have the same suspense, mystery or action going on.
This book is really more about Kaspar and his mental state. It was interesting, just very.. different, and maybe not everything I hoped it would be.
I still absolutely adore Kaspar, and I find his multiple personalities intriguing. The feelings his character invoke vary between fun and sad. He's still a bit of a conundrum, and I suppose that's the point. Seeing his different alters come out, learning about each of them, and also seeing them eventually accept each other was all very fascinating and compelling.
I did think he got out of his submissive side very quickly and easily, though. I didn't find that very realistic, especially considering all the trauma he's been through. Him and his alters should be a little more shaken up and also not be able to integrate so easily, I would think.
This disregard of Kaspar's trauma also ties in to the lack of climax and development for the storyline we focused on in the first book concerning the organization, Vladimir and other captive slaves. Everything was wrapped up super quickly and neatly, and I didn't find any of it particularly satisfying.
I was also never truly able to see the romance between Jiao and Kaspar. I found it difficult to understand why, exactly, Jiao was so obsessed with and caring for him? I could understand his devotion for Kaspar as a victim, but as a romantic partner I never quite saw it. Neither did I ever see genuine love from Kaspar for Jiao. This was all really too bad, since I would have loved to see their connection a bit more.
Anyway, this review sounds a bit negative, but that doesn't mean that I didn't like this book. Because I did. It's all very captivating, interesting and enjoyable.
Maybe my immense love for the first book had my expectations a bit too high, because genuinely, I did like this book. I just have some complaints about it, and it simply didn't blow me away in general.
It's not nearly as dark or intense, and instead focuses more on the psychological aspect of Associative Identity Disorder, and also on the romance between Jiao and Kaspar.
It's a lot less plot-heavy than the first book, and doesn't have the same suspense, mystery or action going on.
This book is really more about Kaspar and his mental state. It was interesting, just very.. different, and maybe not everything I hoped it would be.
I still absolutely adore Kaspar, and I find his multiple personalities intriguing. The feelings his character invoke vary between fun and sad. He's still a bit of a conundrum, and I suppose that's the point. Seeing his different alters come out, learning about each of them, and also seeing them eventually accept each other was all very fascinating and compelling.
I did think he got out of his submissive side very quickly and easily, though. I didn't find that very realistic, especially considering all the trauma he's been through. Him and his alters should be a little more shaken up and also not be able to integrate so easily, I would think.
This disregard of Kaspar's trauma also ties in to the lack of climax and development for the storyline we focused on in the first book concerning the organization, Vladimir and other captive slaves. Everything was wrapped up super quickly and neatly, and I didn't find any of it particularly satisfying.
I was also never truly able to see the romance between Jiao and Kaspar. I found it difficult to understand why, exactly, Jiao was so obsessed with and caring for him? I could understand his devotion for Kaspar as a victim, but as a romantic partner I never quite saw it. Neither did I ever see genuine love from Kaspar for Jiao. This was all really too bad, since I would have loved to see their connection a bit more.
Anyway, this review sounds a bit negative, but that doesn't mean that I didn't like this book. Because I did. It's all very captivating, interesting and enjoyable.
Maybe my immense love for the first book had my expectations a bit too high, because genuinely, I did like this book. I just have some complaints about it, and it simply didn't blow me away in general.
This was okay, but nothing great.
The book is about Worthy and Crow. Worthy is in an abusive marriage where he is being tortured and humiliated to the highest degree. He decides to escape his husband and steal back all the money his husband took from him. Unfortunately, his soon-to-be ex-husband sends a hired killer (Crow) after him to get the money back.
However, Crow has a moral code that he only hurts those who are evil and never those who are good. So when he finds out Worthy was actually the victim in the marriage things go completely off course..
I liked the idea of this book, and the execution was decent, but I felt like things mostly stayed surface level. Nothing was explored particularly in depth, which I thought was a bit of a shame.
I thought Worthy and Crow had good chemistry, but there wasn't much of a build-up between them, and their connection also wasn't completely established. It was pretty much insta-love.
I especially liked the way Crow saw Worthy: sweet, innocent and good. Someone he wants to protect like a puppy. It was cute how he tried his best to make Worthy want to stay with him.
The relationship is, for the most part, based on the fact that Worthy and Crow share the same kink. They're into pain and blood-play, which they want to try to make work between them. There is a lot of talk of these kinks, but we don't see them do much of it.
I guess it depends per person whether you think the lack of showing the kink rather than talking about it is a good or a bad thing.
PS. If there is ever a book released about Osprey and Diego I would read that ASAP, no questions asked. I would genuinely love that so much! We only got a glimpse of their relationship here, but they still stole the show completely: I was already obsessed.
The book is about Worthy and Crow. Worthy is in an abusive marriage where he is being tortured and humiliated to the highest degree. He decides to escape his husband and steal back all the money his husband took from him. Unfortunately, his soon-to-be ex-husband sends a hired killer (Crow) after him to get the money back.
However, Crow has a moral code that he only hurts those who are evil and never those who are good. So when he finds out Worthy was actually the victim in the marriage things go completely off course..
I liked the idea of this book, and the execution was decent, but I felt like things mostly stayed surface level. Nothing was explored particularly in depth, which I thought was a bit of a shame.
I thought Worthy and Crow had good chemistry, but there wasn't much of a build-up between them, and their connection also wasn't completely established. It was pretty much insta-love.
I especially liked the way Crow saw Worthy: sweet, innocent and good. Someone he wants to protect like a puppy. It was cute how he tried his best to make Worthy want to stay with him.
The relationship is, for the most part, based on the fact that Worthy and Crow share the same kink. They're into pain and blood-play, which they want to try to make work between them. There is a lot of talk of these kinks, but we don't see them do much of it.
I guess it depends per person whether you think the lack of showing the kink rather than talking about it is a good or a bad thing.
PS. If there is ever a book released about Osprey and Diego I would read that ASAP, no questions asked. I would genuinely love that so much! We only got a glimpse of their relationship here, but they still stole the show completely: I was already obsessed.
no no no no no. NO.
This was so bad.
The plot is completely nonsensical; it was so stupid. And not only was it ridiculous, I also nearly fell asleep multiple times.
Boring and dumb? Worst combination ever.
The characters were extremely unlikable and irritating as well:
Vail might possibly be the most oblivious person on the planet. Seriously, the guy is dumb as rocks and comes across as if he does not possess more than two braincells total.
And Rowen was just incredibly weak. He was in desperate need of a backbone because he genuinely let everyone walk all over him. He didn't appear to ever really think for himself.
But out of the three, Cillian should definitely be the worst since he is so cruel and mean, yet he somehow irritated me the least. I mean, honestly, if I were surrounded by people as dumb as he was, I might possibly grow to be at my wit's end as well. Doesn't change the fact that he's truly a bossy motherfucker with no respect for other people and a nasty sadistic streak, though.
Apart from the fact that they all suck so much, there was also literally zero, absolutely zero, chemistry between any of the main characters. NONE.
Seriously, why was everyone so obsessed with Vail?? God knows. I can't understand it at all.
A clueless 38 year old college professor who can't seem to be able to focus on anything but ride as many dicks as he possibly can..? Yup, sure. Sounds like a catch.
And honestly, I don't think any of them know why they even like each other either. There was no depth to anything. All they did was have sex and be ridiculous.
I mean, okay, maybe I could see Rowen and Vail be a thing: yes, they're annoying and bland, but they at least seemed to somewhat like each other and match well: both stupid and idiotic.
But Cillian with them??? No. It made no sense.
And when at the end Fallon and Aspen also randomly became a part of the "we all fuck Vail club" for no conceivable reason, I was honestly just having a major brainfart. It was sooooo odd.
Some of the sex also felt weirdly non-consensual when it came to Cillian; he didn't seem to care about Vail's pleasure or if he even wanted it or not. It kinda made me uncomfortable at times.
I think the only person I somewhat liked in this book was Fallon, and he was completely ignored and treated like trash. Ugh.
Anyway, long story short, this was just a big fat NO from me.
This was so bad.
The plot is completely nonsensical; it was so stupid. And not only was it ridiculous, I also nearly fell asleep multiple times.
Boring and dumb? Worst combination ever.
The characters were extremely unlikable and irritating as well:
Vail might possibly be the most oblivious person on the planet. Seriously, the guy is dumb as rocks and comes across as if he does not possess more than two braincells total.
And Rowen was just incredibly weak. He was in desperate need of a backbone because he genuinely let everyone walk all over him. He didn't appear to ever really think for himself.
But out of the three, Cillian should definitely be the worst since he is so cruel and mean, yet he somehow irritated me the least. I mean, honestly, if I were surrounded by people as dumb as he was, I might possibly grow to be at my wit's end as well. Doesn't change the fact that he's truly a bossy motherfucker with no respect for other people and a nasty sadistic streak, though.
Apart from the fact that they all suck so much, there was also literally zero, absolutely zero, chemistry between any of the main characters. NONE.
Seriously, why was everyone so obsessed with Vail?? God knows. I can't understand it at all.
A clueless 38 year old college professor who can't seem to be able to focus on anything but ride as many dicks as he possibly can..? Yup, sure. Sounds like a catch.
And honestly, I don't think any of them know why they even like each other either. There was no depth to anything. All they did was have sex and be ridiculous.
I mean, okay, maybe I could see Rowen and Vail be a thing: yes, they're annoying and bland, but they at least seemed to somewhat like each other and match well: both stupid and idiotic.
But Cillian with them??? No. It made no sense.
And when at the end Fallon and Aspen also randomly became a part of the "we all fuck Vail club" for no conceivable reason, I was honestly just having a major brainfart. It was sooooo odd.
Some of the sex also felt weirdly non-consensual when it came to Cillian; he didn't seem to care about Vail's pleasure or if he even wanted it or not. It kinda made me uncomfortable at times.
I think the only person I somewhat liked in this book was Fallon, and he was completely ignored and treated like trash. Ugh.
Anyway, long story short, this was just a big fat NO from me.
This is definitely showing some potential.
The vampire/witch plotline here is really rather interesting, and I’m eager to find out more about what is going on and what will happen in the future.
Nothing about any of it appears to be particularly mind-blowing, but it kept me entertained and intrigued well-enough, so I count it as a win.
The characters seem likable and interesting, and they already have a pleasant dynamic going on.
Lucas and Konstantin have a decent amount of chemistry, and I especially love the possessiveness already beginning to come from Konstantin.
However, there is more than just romance that connects these two, namely something paranormal, and I’m intrigued to find out what exactly it is.
The vampire/witch plotline here is really rather interesting, and I’m eager to find out more about what is going on and what will happen in the future.
Nothing about any of it appears to be particularly mind-blowing, but it kept me entertained and intrigued well-enough, so I count it as a win.
The characters seem likable and interesting, and they already have a pleasant dynamic going on.
Lucas and Konstantin have a decent amount of chemistry, and I especially love the possessiveness already beginning to come from Konstantin.
However, there is more than just romance that connects these two, namely something paranormal, and I’m intrigued to find out what exactly it is.
Hmm. I'm not sure what this was, exactly.
I suppose we could simply call it mythology, but that doesn't really seem adequate.
I guess there is also an underlying romance plot, but it isn't one between Kleon and the Minotaur. Instead, the romance lies within the memories of a person they knew before this novella.
Erotica is definitely a word that comes to mind as well, but I wouldn't say it's the sole focus of the story, and neither are the sex scenes very descriptive.
Maybe horror would be an okay description of this book, but I honestly don't think the monstrosities and torture were explicit enough for it to fall into that category.
I actually think 'drama' would probably be the best genre to shelve this under: it has most of the elements required for it, and the 'sad' (or maybe ambiguous?) ending definitely also fits with that.
I have to say that the idea of this book definitely was an interesting one. It has a good premise, and some underlying thoughts that I found thought-provoking.
The final twist at the end (not the epilogue, but right before) was also one that I found to be particularly surprising, but also rather.. beautiful. I'm not sure how I feel about, but it definitely shocked me, and made me feel things.
The epilogue itself was actually kind of funny, in my opinion. It puts the true myth of Theseus and the Minotaur to shame, but not in a crude manner. I thought it was tasteful yet humorous, and also interesting to think about how stories are truly just stories, and people can often take the credit for whatever they want.
My biggest problem with this novella was my frequent disconnect with the writing and dialogue. It was rather stiff, and could have been a lot better had it been written with more of an emotional quality.
I suppose we could simply call it mythology, but that doesn't really seem adequate.
I guess there is also an underlying romance plot, but it isn't one between Kleon and the Minotaur. Instead, the romance lies within the memories of a person they knew before this novella.
Erotica is definitely a word that comes to mind as well, but I wouldn't say it's the sole focus of the story, and neither are the sex scenes very descriptive.
Maybe horror would be an okay description of this book, but I honestly don't think the monstrosities and torture were explicit enough for it to fall into that category.
I actually think 'drama' would probably be the best genre to shelve this under: it has most of the elements required for it, and the 'sad' (or maybe ambiguous?) ending definitely also fits with that.
I have to say that the idea of this book definitely was an interesting one. It has a good premise, and some underlying thoughts that I found thought-provoking.
The final twist at the end (not the epilogue, but right before) was also one that I found to be particularly surprising, but also rather.. beautiful. I'm not sure how I feel about, but it definitely shocked me, and made me feel things.
The epilogue itself was actually kind of funny, in my opinion. It puts the true myth of Theseus and the Minotaur to shame, but not in a crude manner. I thought it was tasteful yet humorous, and also interesting to think about how stories are truly just stories, and people can often take the credit for whatever they want.
My biggest problem with this novella was my frequent disconnect with the writing and dialogue. It was rather stiff, and could have been a lot better had it been written with more of an emotional quality.
This novella is separated into two parts.
The first part is Dan and Kyle meeting each other, while really hitting it off with a healthy dose of flirting. I thought they had good chemistry, and it was actually kind of sweet.
The gist of their personalities was that Kyle is super shy and insecure, while Dan is assertive and confident. It’s a dynamic I really like.
The second part kind of had me shook, though.
It’s a month later and it begins with Kyle and Dan doing some.. role-playing. I was sort of blind-sided by it, but decided to just go with it.
The role-play consisted of a non-consensual scene (which is a kink I actually don’t mind reading about), but also featured the ‘aggressor’ (fake rapist) being very homophobic, which wasn’t my thing at all.
Derogatory language and humiliation has never been something I enjoy, and this scene definitely wasn’t an exception to that. The whole thing in itself wasn’t particularly badly written, though. It just wasn’t necessarily for me.
The novella then ends with the two of them being all ‘cuddly’ again, which I suppose was nice after all that nastiness.
Although I have to say that I thought Dan didn’t treat Kyle super well in their last conversation about “being boyfriends”, so that once again pissed me off. It kind of ruined a little bit of the romance for me, because it made it seem like Dan didn’t care all that much about Kyle yet.
In conclusion, this was pretty well written and I think there is actually a great build-up and characterization for such a short novella. I do wish we didn’t skip a whole month in between the two parts, as I would have been interested to see their relationship grow.
Anyway, I could totally see people enjoy this (most of the time I did too), but I’m simply not sure if it was really the best fit for me.
I’ll probably still give the next one a try at some point though, mostly because I am interested to find out what it will be about.
The first part is Dan and Kyle meeting each other, while really hitting it off with a healthy dose of flirting. I thought they had good chemistry, and it was actually kind of sweet.
The gist of their personalities was that Kyle is super shy and insecure, while Dan is assertive and confident. It’s a dynamic I really like.
The second part kind of had me shook, though.
It’s a month later and it begins with Kyle and Dan doing some.. role-playing. I was sort of blind-sided by it, but decided to just go with it.
The role-play consisted of a non-consensual scene (which is a kink I actually don’t mind reading about), but also featured the ‘aggressor’ (fake rapist) being very homophobic, which wasn’t my thing at all.
Derogatory language and humiliation has never been something I enjoy, and this scene definitely wasn’t an exception to that. The whole thing in itself wasn’t particularly badly written, though. It just wasn’t necessarily for me.
The novella then ends with the two of them being all ‘cuddly’ again, which I suppose was nice after all that nastiness.
Although I have to say that I thought Dan didn’t treat Kyle super well in their last conversation about “being boyfriends”, so that once again pissed me off. It kind of ruined a little bit of the romance for me, because it made it seem like Dan didn’t care all that much about Kyle yet.
In conclusion, this was pretty well written and I think there is actually a great build-up and characterization for such a short novella. I do wish we didn’t skip a whole month in between the two parts, as I would have been interested to see their relationship grow.
Anyway, I could totally see people enjoy this (most of the time I did too), but I’m simply not sure if it was really the best fit for me.
I’ll probably still give the next one a try at some point though, mostly because I am interested to find out what it will be about.
I really liked this. It had an interesting premise, and I thought the main character had a very well-developed and authentic personality.
The story is about Dayton, who is very timid, insecure, fearful, and has been communicating with a man in prison (Max) for three years.
In this communication he has opened up about very specific fantasies he has, where he is completely out of control in all different kind of sexual scenarios (basically meaning that he has a non-consensual kink).
Dayton thought that he would never meet Max (since he had a life-sentence), which was the only reason he felt comfortable enough to open up to him about these things. However, Max's sentence is suspended and he suddenly gets out of prison..
I'm not going to go into detail about what happens, but Max basically decides that he is going to put Dayton's fantasies into reality (even before discussing that with him).
As you can imagine, Dayton is pretty freaked out about this (but also vaguely turned on). Luckily, he does stand up for himself, and tells Max that this is very strange and creepy behaviour, and they need to take it slow. So... They do. To be honest, Max would basically do anything Dayton wants as long as he'll have him.
"I'm sorry if I pushed you too far. I promise we'll go at your pace if you take me back."
Aside from Dayton's relationship with Max, there is also a lot of other (depressing) stuff happening in his life. He has been completely abandoned by his parents, he is being blackmailed by a horrendous ex-classmate, and his work environment is terrible and constantly taking advantage of him. His life pretty much sucks. And he does not ever stand up for himself.
I suppose Dayton's lack of a spine could be annoying to some people, but I found him authentic, and I mostly just felt bad for him. He really was a genuinely nice guy, and he didn't deserve such a shitty life.
All in all, I enjoyed this book a lot. I thought the pacing was really pleasant, the plotline was engaging, the main character was likable (to me at least), and the romance had an interesting dynamic (although the chemistry could have been better).
The story is about Dayton, who is very timid, insecure, fearful, and has been communicating with a man in prison (Max) for three years.
In this communication he has opened up about very specific fantasies he has, where he is completely out of control in all different kind of sexual scenarios (basically meaning that he has a non-consensual kink).
Dayton thought that he would never meet Max (since he had a life-sentence), which was the only reason he felt comfortable enough to open up to him about these things. However, Max's sentence is suspended and he suddenly gets out of prison..
I'm not going to go into detail about what happens, but Max basically decides that he is going to put Dayton's fantasies into reality (even before discussing that with him).
As you can imagine, Dayton is pretty freaked out about this (but also vaguely turned on). Luckily, he does stand up for himself, and tells Max that this is very strange and creepy behaviour, and they need to take it slow. So... They do. To be honest, Max would basically do anything Dayton wants as long as he'll have him.
"I'm sorry if I pushed you too far. I promise we'll go at your pace if you take me back."
Aside from Dayton's relationship with Max, there is also a lot of other (depressing) stuff happening in his life. He has been completely abandoned by his parents, he is being blackmailed by a horrendous ex-classmate, and his work environment is terrible and constantly taking advantage of him. His life pretty much sucks. And he does not ever stand up for himself.
I suppose Dayton's lack of a spine could be annoying to some people, but I found him authentic, and I mostly just felt bad for him. He really was a genuinely nice guy, and he didn't deserve such a shitty life.
All in all, I enjoyed this book a lot. I thought the pacing was really pleasant, the plotline was engaging, the main character was likable (to me at least), and the romance had an interesting dynamic (although the chemistry could have been better).
I wish I didn’t go into this blind….
This could probably be super fun for someone who has a secret fantasy of being ravished by a rabid dog, but let me tell you: THAT PERSON IS NOT ME!
This could probably be super fun for someone who has a secret fantasy of being ravished by a rabid dog, but let me tell you: THAT PERSON IS NOT ME!
"He jerked off in a dog cage a few times to the dirty fantasy of being overpowered, frozen in fear under the massive stud, pumped by his cock without mercy. He wouldn’t be able to fight much once the dog actually mounted him, or he’d risk getting badly bitten. All he had left to do was to let the stud fuck him until it had enough."
ummm… WHAT
"It was humiliating to be under a dog, to have to submit to an animal, but then again, no one would know."
BUT I DO KNOW. GOD WHY
"Kyle bit down on the inside of his lips, swearing to himself he wouldn’t safeword."
No PLEASE do. Please safeword! MAKE IT STOP
"There was no need for shame around a dog."
Oh how wrong you are…. I am definitely shaming you.
This book was almost exactly what I hoped it would be.
It had an interesting premise and luckily decided to really stick with it.
It didn't feel rushed, and everything was pretty well developed.
I loved the dynamic of the school freak and the popular quarterback finding out that they have a lot in common, and therefore slowly but surely fall for each other.
But as much as I love that dynamic, it can maybe be a bit boring sometimes, and therefore I was excited that this book had a bit of a twist to it:
Namely, the book begins with the quarterback accidentally hurting the freak, resulting in him losing an eye and even almost dying. Pretty heavy stuff. So, what happens next? The freak blackmails the quarterback into giving him a blowjob so he will keep the secret of who caused the accident. The quarterback agrees, and here begins their reluctant romance....
Maybe this all sounds a bit weird. I totally get that. But trust me: it somehow works.
It had an interesting premise and luckily decided to really stick with it.
It didn't feel rushed, and everything was pretty well developed.
I loved the dynamic of the school freak and the popular quarterback finding out that they have a lot in common, and therefore slowly but surely fall for each other.
But as much as I love that dynamic, it can maybe be a bit boring sometimes, and therefore I was excited that this book had a bit of a twist to it:
Namely, the book begins with the quarterback accidentally hurting the freak, resulting in him losing an eye and even almost dying. Pretty heavy stuff. So, what happens next? The freak blackmails the quarterback into giving him a blowjob so he will keep the secret of who caused the accident. The quarterback agrees, and here begins their reluctant romance....
Maybe this all sounds a bit weird. I totally get that. But trust me: it somehow works.
"Just knowing you're there is so important to me, honey. You can't even know how much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
That declaration forced all the air out of his lungs. "That's not true. You're ill because of me," he uttered, closing his eyes as a wave of guilt washed over him like a furious storm.
"I would have never found you if it wasn't for that." Ethan's voice was shaky and became more quiet. "You're worth losing an eye for."
Ethan is the school freak: he dresses in all black, wears animal bones as jewellery, and his passion and hobby is creating art with taxidermy. Unsurprisingly, he has zero friends.
Ethan has always had a crush on the super-hot quarterback, but when he actually gets to know him better, he learns that he also loves him as a person. He becomes pretty much obsessed, which I adored.
Robert is the most popular guy in school: a quarterback, hot as hell, kind, talented, smart. He pretty much has it all. Unsurprisingly, he is loved by everyone.
Robert never really paid much attention to Ethan, barely recognizing his existence, but when he is forced to spend time with him, he realizes he actually really likes him, and thinks he is pretty damn special. He creates a certain fondness for him that I found very cute.
Robert and Ethan have a sweet relationship: they truly care about each other and support each other's passions. They are really well-suited, and love spending time with one another. They were honest with each other and always took care of the other. It all actually seemed like true love to me.
The only times I didn't really love their relationship was when Ethan was being super dense or entitled (which happened quite a bit), but Robert usually responded pretty well to it, as he mostly told Ethan off when he did that.
I did think the book started to drag a little bit near the end; for a big part because there was a lot of smut at that point, whereas there hadn't been before.
Although, speaking of smut: I just want to say that the first time these two had penetrative sex; holy hell. That was written so well. They were both virgins, and it was so tender and soft, but also passionate. It was so good. I don't usually feel the emotions during sex scenes, but here I did.
Anyway, long story short, the chemistry here was pretty damn good, I loved Robert so much, the tropes were my favourites, and I really enjoyed reading this. It was cute and made me swoon.
Set in 1785, this story is about highwaymen, abduction, crime, status, blackmail, self-discovery, but most of all, it is about two men slowly falling in love with each other in a time when such a thing was punishable by death.
“How does one start a relationship with another man when it’s something so forbidden?”
“One needs to decide that the other man is worth dying for. And then you take a leap of faith.”
Julian and Evan, both in desperate need of money, are thrust together by chance and decide to work together to demand ransom from Julian’s father, which forces them to have to spend time together 24/7.
Evan and Julian are complete opposites when it comes to their world-views, leading to quite a few disagreements between them. They eventually learn to appreciate, respect and even love the other man’s differences: disdain transforms into complete adoration.
Julian is a soft and gentle soul, who likes to concern himself with literature, poetry and the finer things in life. He loves society, and is always willing to be among people. Evan, on the other hand, likes to keep to himself and isn’t interested in modernity or other people’s opinions. He just wants to do right by his family’s name and legacy, even if it brings him nothing but misery.
Both of these men’s lives were empty (albeit in different ways) before they met each other. They eventually bring each other passion, love and joy, whereas this had been missing before.
“Oh sweetheart… I love you more than you will ever know. I thought my life would never be whole again, but you made it so.”
Both of these characters are very likable even if they are both willing to hurt, deceive and take when it comes to the things they want. Their moral compass stands apart from the law, and these self-determined morals are also not immune to being broken when it comes to protecting each other: they would do anything for one another.
“I will find a way to keep you safe. I would do anything for you.”
“I crave you so deeply even the slightest possibility of losing you makes me want to crush someone’s teeth.”
“I would have never left you. You’re worth dying for. You’re worth more than any other man.”
Evan has always known that he likes men, and is very much taken with Julian’s beauty from the beginning. Julian, however, has never even thought about being with a man before, and is very slow on the uptake: he has trouble reconciling himself with being a ‘sodomite’, leading to a lot of back-and-forth between these two.
Julian’s inner struggle was very realistic to me and I thought it was handled with the right amount of care and attention.
On the other hand, Evan’s desperation for Julian to feel the same way for him made me swoon uncontrollably, and his complete dedication to Julian was one of my favourite things.
“I’d build you a castle in that sky if you could only want me the same way I want you.”
“Y-you sold your telescope to buy me a suit?”
“I wanted to make you happy. A foolish attempt at trying to keep you with me a while longer. Why would you stay, if I had nothing to offer?”
But also when Evan thought he was going to die, his thoughts still went out to nothing other than Julian, and thus, when asked for his last words, they were dedicated to discreetly expressing his love for Julian and their time together using a metaphor:
“I once had a canary, and I caged it, which is one of my deepest regrets. When I finally set it free, it sang more beautifully than it ever had in captivity. And when I let it live in my garden, my lovely bird flew right back in through the window. I loved it then even more than before, because at last I knew it enjoyed my company. I have nothing left now, but I hope my songbird lives a good life on the seeds I left for it. There has never been a bird I loved more.”
I seriously loved Evan and Julian’s relationship. It was a slow-burn in the absolute right way, and I found their love to be believable as well as epic and true.
My two biggest complaints with this book overall were: 1) it did drag from time to time. It could have been a lot shorter, and would have been far better off for it, 2) the plotline near the end became far too over-the-top, ridiculous and even kind of stupid for me to take seriously. I thought this felt very different from the rest of the story, and it’s a bit of a shame the ending had to be like that.
All in all, I liked the premise of this book, the setting was interesting, the characters were intriguing yet authentic, and the relationship was amazing!
I love reading about characters as dedicated to and obsessed with someone as Evan was for Julian, and it's all the better if that person actually deserves such love, which Julian certainly did.