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imme_van_gorp's Reviews (778)
Well, that was... boring. Didn't do anything for me.
Aside from this book being yet another disturbing mixture of smut, violence, submission, body-betraying-syndrome, and reluctant obsession we have come to know and NOT love from Rina Kent, it was genuinely also really boring. I honestly skimmed over so many pages here, because I simply could not be bothered, and I knew nothing was happening anyway other than sex or cringy lines about owning someone, threatening people, or trying to sound edgy or menacing while secretly coming off as nothing other than a pathetic tool.
Although this wasn't the worst I've read of Rina Kent, it was still very lackluster, slightly disturbing, and I certainly couldn't find it in myself to care about any of it.
Also, side note: I read God of Fury first, which honestly made Lan seem really protective over Bran, and so, naturally, I was insanely disappointed with Lan and Bran’s relationship in this book; Lan didn’t seem to give a damn about Bran for even a second, whereas God of Fury truly made me believe he saw him as his “other half”, that he only acted like a dick to “get his attention”, that he “loves him unconditionally”, the he is “the one person who matters”, that he comes up with silly schemes to “force him to spend time with him”, and that he would literally “stab himself if that would help him breathe better”.
This was not what I saw here; Lan genuinely didn’t spend a single thought thinking or caring about Bran, and I honestly feel cheated because of that. Does this mean his affection towards Bran was all a mask, since his inner monologue does not reflect that care at all? That’s really depressing, to be honest.
Especially since their bond was the sole reason I even wanted to read Lan’s book, and then, when I do, I don’t even get to see any love or affection from him towards his twin whatsoever… What a waste of time.
Aside from this book being yet another disturbing mixture of smut, violence, submission, body-betraying-syndrome, and reluctant obsession we have come to know and NOT love from Rina Kent, it was genuinely also really boring. I honestly skimmed over so many pages here, because I simply could not be bothered, and I knew nothing was happening anyway other than sex or cringy lines about owning someone, threatening people, or trying to sound edgy or menacing while secretly coming off as nothing other than a pathetic tool.
Although this wasn't the worst I've read of Rina Kent, it was still very lackluster, slightly disturbing, and I certainly couldn't find it in myself to care about any of it.
Also, side note: I read God of Fury first, which honestly made Lan seem really protective over Bran, and so, naturally, I was insanely disappointed with Lan and Bran’s relationship in this book; Lan didn’t seem to give a damn about Bran for even a second, whereas God of Fury truly made me believe he saw him as his “other half”, that he only acted like a dick to “get his attention”, that he “loves him unconditionally”, the he is “the one person who matters”, that he comes up with silly schemes to “force him to spend time with him”, and that he would literally “stab himself if that would help him breathe better”.
This was not what I saw here; Lan genuinely didn’t spend a single thought thinking or caring about Bran, and I honestly feel cheated because of that. Does this mean his affection towards Bran was all a mask, since his inner monologue does not reflect that care at all? That’s really depressing, to be honest.
Especially since their bond was the sole reason I even wanted to read Lan’s book, and then, when I do, I don’t even get to see any love or affection from him towards his twin whatsoever… What a waste of time.
This was not as emotional as I would have liked, but it certainly never failed at being depressing.
I think, in a way, I never managed to get overly attached to any of the characters, since we know from the get-go that they will all die. Every single one of them. After all, we know that Haymitch not only won his Hunger Games with no other survivors in sight, but we also know that he has no family and no lover in the future. Ergo, we know they will all die; the tributes, his family, his lover, everyone.
Is that still depressing as all hell? Yes, obviously. Did it hit me really hard on an emotional level, though? Unfortunately, no… I guess I just really do think there needs to be a certain element of surprise in someone’s death for me to be able to connect to them beforehand; when I know someone is about to die, I take that into account from the very beginning, and so, although I will still see their story as tragic and (there I go with that word again) depressing, it’s not very emotionally charged for me since I never formed a bond with them that was based on an assumption of survival.
It also didn’t help that I found Haymitch slightly stand-offish and that I never really felt his despair or tragedy over any of the other tritbutes. He cared, sure, but not enough. Someone died, and then he’d be over it in a minute. Nobody’s death held weight for him, and therefore, not for me either.
And, as a consequence, all the ‘relationships’ he built during the book rang a little hollow as well. I really thought some people’s deaths would destroy him, or at least really do something to him emotionally, but that never happened with anyone in the arena; people I thought had become really important to him were apparently not so important after all.
Maysilee, especially, deserved better, in my opinion. I’d argue she was by far the most interesting, admirable, and well-developed character in this book, but still, her death did not really do anything to Haymitch (and therefore, in extension, not to me either). Even though he claimed she had become his sister in the arena, he still seemed to forget about her after only a couple of seconds…
Honestly, Haymitch was mostly just preoccupied with his little rebel plot, which, since I also knew already that that would fail based on future events, didn’t interest me very much.
I would even go as far as to say I found it slightly annoying, since most of Haymitch’s actions just seemed foolish to me. I’d say his dumbassery already started from the very first moment when he got reaped; him, but especially Lenore Dove, really pulled the dumbest, most useless move ever and I honestly struggled to even comprehend why on earth they did what they did, and how they saw this ending up in any other way than tragedy. Like, genuinely, why did they do that?
And you’d think Haymitch would have learned from that, right? You’d think he realised that rebelling in such an open, yet unprepared, manner will lead to death, but noo. Even when Beetee explains to him that the Capitol are currently killing his son to punish him for his rebellion, Haymitch still doesn’t stop to think: “oh hey, maybe it’s not smart for me to openly rebel against the Capitol since that will likely get everyone I love killed, especially since my little unprepared moments of rebellion are likely to serve no purpose whatsoever anyway”.
Right. Okay. I’m sorry, but I thought Haymitch was smarter than that. Like, rebellion is great, truly, but not in this way. This was doomed to fail from the start without any real goal in sight: I mean, really, even if he had succeeded, what would his plan have even accomplished?
Of course, I understand he’s still a kid and all, I know, but I still expected better from him, I guess. It just all seemed foolish, reckless, and useless to me, which took the power out of the story quite a bit.
Still, you’ll never hear me deny the strength and punch these Hunger Games stories have at its core, and I still managed to be completely sucked in. Do I sometimes wish these stories were written with more emotional depth? Sure. But the backbones of the plot and the suffocating world that is created here will never fail to inspire horror in me, which means every single version I read of it always manages to make me feel enough based on the contents alone. Still, the way the characters, their relationships, and their deaths are written does not always bring it home for me on a deeply emotional level.
I think, in a way, I never managed to get overly attached to any of the characters, since we know from the get-go that they will all die. Every single one of them. After all, we know that Haymitch not only won his Hunger Games with no other survivors in sight, but we also know that he has no family and no lover in the future. Ergo, we know they will all die; the tributes, his family, his lover, everyone.
Is that still depressing as all hell? Yes, obviously. Did it hit me really hard on an emotional level, though? Unfortunately, no… I guess I just really do think there needs to be a certain element of surprise in someone’s death for me to be able to connect to them beforehand; when I know someone is about to die, I take that into account from the very beginning, and so, although I will still see their story as tragic and (there I go with that word again) depressing, it’s not very emotionally charged for me since I never formed a bond with them that was based on an assumption of survival.
It also didn’t help that I found Haymitch slightly stand-offish and that I never really felt his despair or tragedy over any of the other tritbutes. He cared, sure, but not enough. Someone died, and then he’d be over it in a minute. Nobody’s death held weight for him, and therefore, not for me either.
And, as a consequence, all the ‘relationships’ he built during the book rang a little hollow as well. I really thought some people’s deaths would destroy him, or at least really do something to him emotionally, but that never happened with anyone in the arena; people I thought had become really important to him were apparently not so important after all.
Maysilee, especially, deserved better, in my opinion. I’d argue she was by far the most interesting, admirable, and well-developed character in this book, but still, her death did not really do anything to Haymitch (and therefore, in extension, not to me either). Even though he claimed she had become his sister in the arena, he still seemed to forget about her after only a couple of seconds…
Honestly, Haymitch was mostly just preoccupied with his little rebel plot, which, since I also knew already that that would fail based on future events, didn’t interest me very much.
I would even go as far as to say I found it slightly annoying, since most of Haymitch’s actions just seemed foolish to me. I’d say his dumbassery already started from the very first moment when he got reaped; him, but especially Lenore Dove, really pulled the dumbest, most useless move ever and I honestly struggled to even comprehend why on earth they did what they did, and how they saw this ending up in any other way than tragedy. Like, genuinely, why did they do that?
And you’d think Haymitch would have learned from that, right? You’d think he realised that rebelling in such an open, yet unprepared, manner will lead to death, but noo. Even when Beetee explains to him that the Capitol are currently killing his son to punish him for his rebellion, Haymitch still doesn’t stop to think: “oh hey, maybe it’s not smart for me to openly rebel against the Capitol since that will likely get everyone I love killed, especially since my little unprepared moments of rebellion are likely to serve no purpose whatsoever anyway”.
Right. Okay. I’m sorry, but I thought Haymitch was smarter than that. Like, rebellion is great, truly, but not in this way. This was doomed to fail from the start without any real goal in sight: I mean, really, even if he had succeeded, what would his plan have even accomplished?
Of course, I understand he’s still a kid and all, I know, but I still expected better from him, I guess. It just all seemed foolish, reckless, and useless to me, which took the power out of the story quite a bit.
Still, you’ll never hear me deny the strength and punch these Hunger Games stories have at its core, and I still managed to be completely sucked in. Do I sometimes wish these stories were written with more emotional depth? Sure. But the backbones of the plot and the suffocating world that is created here will never fail to inspire horror in me, which means every single version I read of it always manages to make me feel enough based on the contents alone. Still, the way the characters, their relationships, and their deaths are written does not always bring it home for me on a deeply emotional level.
Okay, so this really did start out super cute and fun in the first half, but I completely lost interest during the second part of the book.
I really loved when Brad was being completely oblivious to his feelings while Joey was half-way in love with him already, especially since their dynamic was really sweet and endearing with plenty of longing and a touch of angst as well.
However, when Brad recognized his feelings at about the halfway mark, everything became way too mushy with far too much sex.
There was basically nothing going on anymore other than smut or love-bombing. No angst, no drama, no longing, and no plot. There were also no possibilites for development in the relationship left either, since they were already completely in love to the maximum levels, and so nothing changed for the entirety of the book.
After a certain point, it was all just smut, smut, smut, and more smut with pages upon pages about how attractive the other person was or how sweet they found each other.
It was cute the first time, but after the 100th repetition, I was slowly starting to die of boredom.
I really loved when Brad was being completely oblivious to his feelings while Joey was half-way in love with him already, especially since their dynamic was really sweet and endearing with plenty of longing and a touch of angst as well.
However, when Brad recognized his feelings at about the halfway mark, everything became way too mushy with far too much sex.
There was basically nothing going on anymore other than smut or love-bombing. No angst, no drama, no longing, and no plot. There were also no possibilites for development in the relationship left either, since they were already completely in love to the maximum levels, and so nothing changed for the entirety of the book.
After a certain point, it was all just smut, smut, smut, and more smut with pages upon pages about how attractive the other person was or how sweet they found each other.
It was cute the first time, but after the 100th repetition, I was slowly starting to die of boredom.
Honestly, I don’t think this book should have ever existed. It’s not so much that this book on its own was terrible, but more so that it ruins the magic of the first book.
Not only did I feel like I was reading about two completely different people than the Wes and Liz I had gotten to know and love, but their connection and dynamic was also entirely dissimilar.
I just struggled to reconcile my previous idea of this couple with what I was reading here, and I never really got a satisfying conclusion out of that. They weren’t the same, and that just feels like a major disservice to the original book in which people fell in love with these two.
Moreover, it just feels a little depressing to know that a couple we were all rooting for fell apart so easily and painfully. I never would have thought Wes would be able to hurt Liz so thoroughly, yet it turns out he could, and he did. And for two whole years?? He didn’t miss her enough to get her back during all thay time, but now I’m supposed to believe he is suddenly desperate to be with her again? If his love was truly that insurmountable, he wouldn’t have been able to stay away for so long.
Simply put, these actions seriously made me rethink and question how good of a couple they really were, since they broke up way too soon and with far too much ease.
Lastly, I just kind of hate how much Liz changed because of what happened. She was such a uniquely authentic person, and it just feels wrong for her to become someone entirely new due to a broken heart, no matter how big the hurt must have been. I guess I just expected Liz to have a stronger and more cemented personality than that, so that’s disappointing.
Not only did I feel like I was reading about two completely different people than the Wes and Liz I had gotten to know and love, but their connection and dynamic was also entirely dissimilar.
I just struggled to reconcile my previous idea of this couple with what I was reading here, and I never really got a satisfying conclusion out of that. They weren’t the same, and that just feels like a major disservice to the original book in which people fell in love with these two.
Moreover, it just feels a little depressing to know that a couple we were all rooting for fell apart so easily and painfully. I never would have thought Wes would be able to hurt Liz so thoroughly, yet it turns out he could, and he did. And for two whole years?? He didn’t miss her enough to get her back during all thay time, but now I’m supposed to believe he is suddenly desperate to be with her again? If his love was truly that insurmountable, he wouldn’t have been able to stay away for so long.
Simply put, these actions seriously made me rethink and question how good of a couple they really were, since they broke up way too soon and with far too much ease.
Lastly, I just kind of hate how much Liz changed because of what happened. She was such a uniquely authentic person, and it just feels wrong for her to become someone entirely new due to a broken heart, no matter how big the hurt must have been. I guess I just expected Liz to have a stronger and more cemented personality than that, so that’s disappointing.
It's official. Rina Kent should only ever be allowed to write MM and be forced to stay away from MF until the end of times.
Although there is still a clear 'alpha' in this relationship, they're nevertheless completely equal (in a way the women in her books never are):
Kayden never acts like he is superior in any way just because he is stronger and more dominant, and so he never treats Gareth like shit or like he owns him more than the other way around (which sounds like the bare minimum, I know, but please tell that to the dark romance genre nowadays, because this is more rare than you would like to think).
Instead, they both give as good as the other gets; they're both insanely jealous, possessive and obsessive, yet there's also that softer dynamic there in which Kayden wants to shelter and take care of Gareth.
They do have a very disturbing interaction at the very beginning of the book, but I'm going to shelve that situation under something called a 'misunderstanding', since I know Kayden never would have done what he did if he hadn't thought Gareth was planning to do that very same thing to someone else, as it was merely meant to be a ‘taste of your own medicine’ kind of thing. So, since it was all based on false assumptions and no actual drive to do harm, I was luckily able to ignore it and pretend it hadn’t happened (because yes, I did feel like I needed to ignore the existence of this situation in order to enjoy the book, since those entire circumstances were anything but romantic and should, in my opinion, never have even been included in a romance story).
Anyway, after they got over their initial animosity, they turned into a really cute couple that I genuinely felt was perfect for each other;
Gareth went from being a little (or a lot) psycho to feeling more emotions than he ever though he would be capable of, turning him into a clingy, mushy, and (damn-near) adorable guy, who could switch between being a fiery spitfire (or perhaps lunatic would be a better word) to a docile little kitten at the drop of a hat. His never-ending mood swings and attitude problems were quite endearing to me, no matter how weird that might sound.
Kayden, as well, turned into so much more than he ever thought he could be; he went from having a grumpy, icy cold exterior to feeling care and affection in a way he never had before. He wanted to own and love on Gareth until the end of time, and was never really shy to let him know that. Whereas Gareth fought their connection at the start, Kayden was ready to fight for them and persuade Gareth to let him in from the get-go.
They each brought out the best in each other, and when put together, they were honestly an electric combination that couldn't help but make me smile and swoon quite a lot!
Although there is still a clear 'alpha' in this relationship, they're nevertheless completely equal (in a way the women in her books never are):
Kayden never acts like he is superior in any way just because he is stronger and more dominant, and so he never treats Gareth like shit or like he owns him more than the other way around (which sounds like the bare minimum, I know, but please tell that to the dark romance genre nowadays, because this is more rare than you would like to think).
Instead, they both give as good as the other gets; they're both insanely jealous, possessive and obsessive, yet there's also that softer dynamic there in which Kayden wants to shelter and take care of Gareth.
They do have a very disturbing interaction at the very beginning of the book, but I'm going to shelve that situation under something called a 'misunderstanding', since I know Kayden never would have done what he did if he hadn't thought Gareth was planning to do that very same thing to someone else, as it was merely meant to be a ‘taste of your own medicine’ kind of thing. So, since it was all based on false assumptions and no actual drive to do harm, I was luckily able to ignore it and pretend it hadn’t happened (because yes, I did feel like I needed to ignore the existence of this situation in order to enjoy the book, since those entire circumstances were anything but romantic and should, in my opinion, never have even been included in a romance story).
Anyway, after they got over their initial animosity, they turned into a really cute couple that I genuinely felt was perfect for each other;
Gareth went from being a little (or a lot) psycho to feeling more emotions than he ever though he would be capable of, turning him into a clingy, mushy, and (damn-near) adorable guy, who could switch between being a fiery spitfire (or perhaps lunatic would be a better word) to a docile little kitten at the drop of a hat. His never-ending mood swings and attitude problems were quite endearing to me, no matter how weird that might sound.
Kayden, as well, turned into so much more than he ever thought he could be; he went from having a grumpy, icy cold exterior to feeling care and affection in a way he never had before. He wanted to own and love on Gareth until the end of time, and was never really shy to let him know that. Whereas Gareth fought their connection at the start, Kayden was ready to fight for them and persuade Gareth to let him in from the get-go.
They each brought out the best in each other, and when put together, they were honestly an electric combination that couldn't help but make me smile and swoon quite a lot!
The book follows Elliot and Knight, two people at opposite ends of an internet debate about a serial killer who lived and died over 200 years ago. Elliot is obsessed with the killer and thinks he was severely misunderstood; he beliefs that the killer had good reasons for murdering his victims, and that he was simply lonely and abused by those he tried to love, and he admires him for taking control into his own hands, and fighting back against those who wronged him. Knight, on the other hand, is very passionate about putting the truth about this killer out there, because he is a descendant of the killer's last victim.
Of course, Elliot is entirely misguided in his delusions about this serial killer, but his reasons for feeling this way are very sad and, in a way, almost understandable. He has so many issues and he has been abused all his life, so he wants to look up to someone who he beliefs fought for himself and against those who hurt him. I did get it, because I really did feel very sorry for this messed-up, lonely, sad, and abused young man. I know for a fact he never would have felt this way if only a single person would have shown him love in his life.
Obviously, the set-up for these two characters sounds like it couldn't possible work out. A delusional guy who is in love with a serial killer and a history fanatic who wants to purify his descendant's name? They are at opposite ends of the spectrum, and Knight truly hates Elliot when he only knows about him from the internet. However, when they meet, Knight soon finds out that the guy behind the mask is a vulnerable man who is in desperate need of love and care. He sees that his misguided ideas are not based on a sick or sadistic mind, but on loneliness and vulnerability, and that's why he quickly realises he wants better for him. He wants to make him feel cared for, and hopes he can heal him that way. However, Knight also has issues of his own, as he is incapable of commitment, so when they grow closer and closer, and Elliot wants more, Knight is not sure he can give that to him, therefore making Elliot feel like he isn't enough after all, leading Elliot back to his love for the killer, who, he finds out, just so happens to be living as a ghost in the basement of his old home.
Honestly, this book had a lot of potential, because it had a unique premise and a lot of hurt/comfort, but it was just too much sex and too much of the same being repeated over and over again. I did see growth in these guys as individuals, but I also wanted to see more progression in their relationship; why did they fall in love, really? Was it just because Knight wanted to take care of someone, and because Elliot was hard-wired to fall for anyone who would give him even the slightest bit of attention? I just wanted more depth, and not constant sex or drawn-out descriptions of things I didn't care about. The execution was simply lacking for me: It was too weird, smutty, dragged out, and repetitive.
Of course, Elliot is entirely misguided in his delusions about this serial killer, but his reasons for feeling this way are very sad and, in a way, almost understandable. He has so many issues and he has been abused all his life, so he wants to look up to someone who he beliefs fought for himself and against those who hurt him. I did get it, because I really did feel very sorry for this messed-up, lonely, sad, and abused young man. I know for a fact he never would have felt this way if only a single person would have shown him love in his life.
Obviously, the set-up for these two characters sounds like it couldn't possible work out. A delusional guy who is in love with a serial killer and a history fanatic who wants to purify his descendant's name? They are at opposite ends of the spectrum, and Knight truly hates Elliot when he only knows about him from the internet. However, when they meet, Knight soon finds out that the guy behind the mask is a vulnerable man who is in desperate need of love and care. He sees that his misguided ideas are not based on a sick or sadistic mind, but on loneliness and vulnerability, and that's why he quickly realises he wants better for him. He wants to make him feel cared for, and hopes he can heal him that way. However, Knight also has issues of his own, as he is incapable of commitment, so when they grow closer and closer, and Elliot wants more, Knight is not sure he can give that to him, therefore making Elliot feel like he isn't enough after all, leading Elliot back to his love for the killer, who, he finds out, just so happens to be living as a ghost in the basement of his old home.
Honestly, this book had a lot of potential, because it had a unique premise and a lot of hurt/comfort, but it was just too much sex and too much of the same being repeated over and over again. I did see growth in these guys as individuals, but I also wanted to see more progression in their relationship; why did they fall in love, really? Was it just because Knight wanted to take care of someone, and because Elliot was hard-wired to fall for anyone who would give him even the slightest bit of attention? I just wanted more depth, and not constant sex or drawn-out descriptions of things I didn't care about. The execution was simply lacking for me: It was too weird, smutty, dragged out, and repetitive.
Ohh, yes, this was yet another Ali Hazelwood win!
Her brand of romance is so perfectly up my alley; she is the master of slow burn with a 'he falls first and harder' trope, which is basically my kryptonite. Throw in some obliviousness for the heroine, which Ali never fails to do, and you have me sat and ready to go feral over it.
Additionally, the characters were both really likable. Lowe was a great guy; level-headed, caring, emotionally intelligent, and confident. I loved Misery even more, though; her snarky, sarcastic, quirky attitude with her reluctantly soft heart endeared her to me immediately. She not only cracked me up, but she also made me respect and like her a lot. She was resilient against the many types of adversities life had thrown at her, and she never lost her spark or personality in the process, while also still showing a perfect amount of self-depricating humour and pessimism that I found nothing short of hilarious as well as admirable. She was a character I simply found very easy to care for!
The plot was also really fun and engaging! There was actually quite a bit happening, and I certainly did not see all of it coming. It actually managed to keep me intrigued even aside from the romance.
I also really loved Misery’s relationships with both Selena and Ana.
Ana was such an adorable little girl, and I found it so endearing to see Misery, who claimed to hate physical touch and affection at first, become reluctantly smitten with the bubbly girl. They made for such a fun and adorable contrast!
Opposingly, the similarities between Misery and Selena were exaxtly what made their best friend bond seem so realistic and sincere. They had such a genuine and well-matched connection, it was easy to see how much they loved each other. It was also just really fun to see these two weirdos be really weird together, and I hope to see more of it in the sequel!
Unfortunately, though, I do have to say that the last few chapters kind of ruined the romance a little for me. Lowe’s insanely cruel words to Misery and his attempt to abandon her truly made me angry, and it put everything I felt and thought I knew about their connection into question.
I never would have thought Lowe could be so hurtful to her; I hadn’t thought he could even live with the thought of seeing her unhappy, let alone breaking her heart and trust. Yet, he still did it. Really easily and without remorse. Which made me even more angry, because after a major fuck-up like this I would have at least expected to see guilt, angst, longing, pining, and, most importantly, groveling, but somehow got none of that.
He hurts her in the must cruel way and then it’s just… swept under the rug, hardly even acknowledged. He almost acts like it didn’t happen, and she’s somehow not even angry? I think there’s one measly “I’m sorry” from him at some point, but it’s literally in passing, in the middle of a different conversation where they’re already talking about living together again. Like?? Excuse me!? This whole situation threw me off so bad. And it just made me question everything I thought I knew about the depth of his feelings for her and about their dynamic.
I also would have expected more from Misery; for her to stand up for herself. Yet she didn’t. She wasn’t even angry… HOW!? These were not the characters I had gotten to know and grown to care about. Nope. Definitely not.
In his defense, though, it does need to be mentioned that he at least wasn't cruel to her out of anger or maliciousness: He thought he was doing the right thing for Misery by pushing her away, even though he obviously was not doing the right thing. But still, I do think his reason for doing what he did is important to take into account.
All in all, though, I think it's not fair to judge the whole book too harshly based on only the ruined ending, because, after all, I did have an amazing time with the rest of it! So I'm kind of just trying to forget these last few chapters happened, so I can live in ignorant bliss about these two lovely people who love each other fiercely, because, yes, that is how I choose to remember it.
Her brand of romance is so perfectly up my alley; she is the master of slow burn with a 'he falls first and harder' trope, which is basically my kryptonite. Throw in some obliviousness for the heroine, which Ali never fails to do, and you have me sat and ready to go feral over it.
Additionally, the characters were both really likable. Lowe was a great guy; level-headed, caring, emotionally intelligent, and confident. I loved Misery even more, though; her snarky, sarcastic, quirky attitude with her reluctantly soft heart endeared her to me immediately. She not only cracked me up, but she also made me respect and like her a lot. She was resilient against the many types of adversities life had thrown at her, and she never lost her spark or personality in the process, while also still showing a perfect amount of self-depricating humour and pessimism that I found nothing short of hilarious as well as admirable. She was a character I simply found very easy to care for!
The plot was also really fun and engaging! There was actually quite a bit happening, and I certainly did not see all of it coming. It actually managed to keep me intrigued even aside from the romance.
I also really loved Misery’s relationships with both Selena and Ana.
Ana was such an adorable little girl, and I found it so endearing to see Misery, who claimed to hate physical touch and affection at first, become reluctantly smitten with the bubbly girl. They made for such a fun and adorable contrast!
Opposingly, the similarities between Misery and Selena were exaxtly what made their best friend bond seem so realistic and sincere. They had such a genuine and well-matched connection, it was easy to see how much they loved each other. It was also just really fun to see these two weirdos be really weird together, and I hope to see more of it in the sequel!
Unfortunately, though, I do have to say that the last few chapters kind of ruined the romance a little for me. Lowe’s insanely cruel words to Misery and his attempt to abandon her truly made me angry, and it put everything I felt and thought I knew about their connection into question.
I never would have thought Lowe could be so hurtful to her; I hadn’t thought he could even live with the thought of seeing her unhappy, let alone breaking her heart and trust. Yet, he still did it. Really easily and without remorse. Which made me even more angry, because after a major fuck-up like this I would have at least expected to see guilt, angst, longing, pining, and, most importantly, groveling, but somehow got none of that.
He hurts her in the must cruel way and then it’s just… swept under the rug, hardly even acknowledged. He almost acts like it didn’t happen, and she’s somehow not even angry? I think there’s one measly “I’m sorry” from him at some point, but it’s literally in passing, in the middle of a different conversation where they’re already talking about living together again. Like?? Excuse me!? This whole situation threw me off so bad. And it just made me question everything I thought I knew about the depth of his feelings for her and about their dynamic.
I also would have expected more from Misery; for her to stand up for herself. Yet she didn’t. She wasn’t even angry… HOW!? These were not the characters I had gotten to know and grown to care about. Nope. Definitely not.
In his defense, though, it does need to be mentioned that he at least wasn't cruel to her out of anger or maliciousness: He thought he was doing the right thing for Misery by pushing her away, even though he obviously was not doing the right thing. But still, I do think his reason for doing what he did is important to take into account.
All in all, though, I think it's not fair to judge the whole book too harshly based on only the ruined ending, because, after all, I did have an amazing time with the rest of it! So I'm kind of just trying to forget these last few chapters happened, so I can live in ignorant bliss about these two lovely people who love each other fiercely, because, yes, that is how I choose to remember it.
This was a never-ending, near inscrutable stream of ramblings from a paedophile on how disturbingly sexy he finds little girls. The book goes on entire tangents dedicated to the beauty of unblemished skin, wobbly knees, knobbly joints, and gangly limbs; it’s a (supposedly beautiful) love letter to the body of children and tries (but luckily fails, in my case) to convince me of their seductive powers. Then, of course, the book just straight-up goes into a story of kidnapping, abuse and rape, and well…
In what world I was meant to enjoy this, I don’t know. Even besides the obvious fact that it’s a disgusting read, it was also so exhausting to get through due to the painfully pretentious and slowly paced writing style.
And really, I know that all this was meant to symbolize the main character’s personality, manipulations and mind, and that it doesn’t actually point to any type of depravity concerning the author. After all, it’s quite clear that he never romanticizes Humbert (even though many of his readers do), and I understand that he is trying to criticize the very thing he is writing. Yes, I’m aware of all that…
Still, I don’t actually care much about that when it comes to passing judgement on the book as a whole, since the end result stays the same: It’s still a sickening story told in the most dreadful (and often mind-numbingly boring) way. Which means it’s just not an enjoyable (or even palatable) book to read. Easy as that. I mean, why would I want to undergo the uncomfortable task of viewing the world through the eyes of a predator? What on earth should be enticing about that? So, yes, I understand the author’s intent in writing this, and that’s interesting in theory, but in practice I don’t see the appeal of reading about the allure of a child’s body for hundreds of pages on end.
Genuinely, I think this book can only be fun to read if you either feel like Humbert is relatable to you (which is a big, fat, giant ew), if you want to understand men like Humbert (which is a lesser ew, but still very much ew), or if you somehow want to feel interesting or smart for liking risqué subjects and pretentious blabber (which is certainly not my jam, but at least it’s not an ew, so please let this be your reason).
Honestly, though, maybe I’m simply too normal to understand the appeal of this book or have it work on me, because no, it did not make me sympathize with the paedophile, and no, it did not make me think Dolores was a seductress (or supposed nymphet) or anything but an innocent victim, and no, it did not make me understand why little girls could be justifiably attractive to dirty old men, and no, it did not make me feel like I was witnessing a forbidden, tragic love story of any kind (not even a twisted one, since there simply was no love involved; only sick lust), and no, Humbert’s gaslighting simply did not work on me at any given point.
In truth, it all did absolutely nothing for me. As, in my opinion, should be the case for everyone. But sure, I accept art is subjective and all that, so I’ll try not to judge (or be too creeped out by) all the love this novel has received, but I genuinely find it hard not to in this case…
Why anyone can find even a hint of sympathy or understanding for this abusive paedophile is beyond me. This book certainly gives you no valid reason to either. Which makes me think some readers have more sympathy and understanding for paedophiles in their hearts (and from the out-set) than I personally feel even remotely comfortable with… and that’s honestly quite sad.
All in all, I obviously think a story like this should make you feel nothing but disgust and horror (and, in my case, unfortunately, a lot of unexpected boredom as well), which, for some people can certainly be interesting to read, and I find that to be completely valid. Unfortunately, not even those feelings of disgust were particularly prominent for me since the writing was so dry, it nearly put me to sleep. Rather than cry in horror, I snored in boredom.
Even more so, the way a lot of fans have been talking about this book shows me that disgust is certainly not the predominant (or only) emotion they all feel towards this story. They somehow feel understanding, sympathy, intrigue, love, justification, or even blame towards the victim, which just baffles my mind. I don’t understand how they get to that point, as I genuinely don’t think even the book itself or author himself tried to make them feel that way! Rather, it’s quite obvious that the author intended the very opposite.
And so, even though the book failed to make me feel any good things about it (or really, failed to make me feel much of anything at all), I do almost feel sad for the author to see his work be so often misunderstood and misused to justify paedophilia. Imagine writing a whole book about the delusions of paedophiles, only for your readers to go along in those very same delusions and have them fail to seperate reality from fantasy. That has got to suck. But then again, maybe it also shows why he never should have written it in the first place. Due to the way the story is told, it simply can’t really be enjoyed unless you do sympathize with the paedophile, which just seems like a contradictio in terminis to me.
P.S. If you want to read a meaningful, heartbreaking, and truthful version of this kind of story, please read My Dark Vanessa instead.
In what world I was meant to enjoy this, I don’t know. Even besides the obvious fact that it’s a disgusting read, it was also so exhausting to get through due to the painfully pretentious and slowly paced writing style.
And really, I know that all this was meant to symbolize the main character’s personality, manipulations and mind, and that it doesn’t actually point to any type of depravity concerning the author. After all, it’s quite clear that he never romanticizes Humbert (even though many of his readers do), and I understand that he is trying to criticize the very thing he is writing. Yes, I’m aware of all that…
Still, I don’t actually care much about that when it comes to passing judgement on the book as a whole, since the end result stays the same: It’s still a sickening story told in the most dreadful (and often mind-numbingly boring) way. Which means it’s just not an enjoyable (or even palatable) book to read. Easy as that. I mean, why would I want to undergo the uncomfortable task of viewing the world through the eyes of a predator? What on earth should be enticing about that? So, yes, I understand the author’s intent in writing this, and that’s interesting in theory, but in practice I don’t see the appeal of reading about the allure of a child’s body for hundreds of pages on end.
Genuinely, I think this book can only be fun to read if you either feel like Humbert is relatable to you (which is a big, fat, giant ew), if you want to understand men like Humbert (which is a lesser ew, but still very much ew), or if you somehow want to feel interesting or smart for liking risqué subjects and pretentious blabber (which is certainly not my jam, but at least it’s not an ew, so please let this be your reason).
Honestly, though, maybe I’m simply too normal to understand the appeal of this book or have it work on me, because no, it did not make me sympathize with the paedophile, and no, it did not make me think Dolores was a seductress (or supposed nymphet) or anything but an innocent victim, and no, it did not make me understand why little girls could be justifiably attractive to dirty old men, and no, it did not make me feel like I was witnessing a forbidden, tragic love story of any kind (not even a twisted one, since there simply was no love involved; only sick lust), and no, Humbert’s gaslighting simply did not work on me at any given point.
In truth, it all did absolutely nothing for me. As, in my opinion, should be the case for everyone. But sure, I accept art is subjective and all that, so I’ll try not to judge (or be too creeped out by) all the love this novel has received, but I genuinely find it hard not to in this case…
Why anyone can find even a hint of sympathy or understanding for this abusive paedophile is beyond me. This book certainly gives you no valid reason to either. Which makes me think some readers have more sympathy and understanding for paedophiles in their hearts (and from the out-set) than I personally feel even remotely comfortable with… and that’s honestly quite sad.
All in all, I obviously think a story like this should make you feel nothing but disgust and horror (and, in my case, unfortunately, a lot of unexpected boredom as well), which, for some people can certainly be interesting to read, and I find that to be completely valid. Unfortunately, not even those feelings of disgust were particularly prominent for me since the writing was so dry, it nearly put me to sleep. Rather than cry in horror, I snored in boredom.
Even more so, the way a lot of fans have been talking about this book shows me that disgust is certainly not the predominant (or only) emotion they all feel towards this story. They somehow feel understanding, sympathy, intrigue, love, justification, or even blame towards the victim, which just baffles my mind. I don’t understand how they get to that point, as I genuinely don’t think even the book itself or author himself tried to make them feel that way! Rather, it’s quite obvious that the author intended the very opposite.
And so, even though the book failed to make me feel any good things about it (or really, failed to make me feel much of anything at all), I do almost feel sad for the author to see his work be so often misunderstood and misused to justify paedophilia. Imagine writing a whole book about the delusions of paedophiles, only for your readers to go along in those very same delusions and have them fail to seperate reality from fantasy. That has got to suck. But then again, maybe it also shows why he never should have written it in the first place. Due to the way the story is told, it simply can’t really be enjoyed unless you do sympathize with the paedophile, which just seems like a contradictio in terminis to me.
P.S. If you want to read a meaningful, heartbreaking, and truthful version of this kind of story, please read My Dark Vanessa instead.
➛First read: August 2024 | ★4.0 stars
➛Second read: February 2025 | ★2.5 stars
EDIT after my re-read:
I can still see why I liked this so much the first time around, but upon reflection and after reading it again, I must, unfortunately, admit that this really was much too smutty, repetitive, and (at times) problematic for me. The first time, I had somehow found a way to ignore or turn a blind eye to a lot of little (and big) things that really annoyed or bored me this time around, but now… not so much.
My most major issue was with the fact that so many of their interactions were centered around sex or lust, while I personally wanted to see more emtional intimacy, depth and affection between them. It made the whole thing feel more shallow and superficial than it could have been: the potential of their sunshine/grumpy, captor/captive, innocent/evil dynamic could have given us so much more if only it wouldn’t have all led back to sex and lust.
Not to mention, some of the things that were said and done here just irked me or rubbed me the wrong way. Ronan’s treatment of Mila could be highly uncomfortable to say the least, and I was much less forgiving of that this time around. I couldn’t find it in myself to swoon for this man anymore.
Honestly, I think this book can be best described as a ‘guilty pleasure,’ which apparently worked for me really well the first time, but, sadly, not so much now.
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
Yup. I liked this. I liked it a lot. It really hit a lot of the right spots for me.
For some reason I have always loved the trope of the cold, hardened, cruel mobster boss who hates the whole entire world, but somehow develops a soft spot for one sweet, sunshiney girl, and this book executed that trope perfectly.
The captor/captive trope is a more difficult one to get right and definitely has the potential to be really annoying or frustrating. Fortunately, this book managed to stay away from all potential aspects I hate about that trope, such as the captor having a sadistic streak or just treating the captive like trash in general. Luckily, that never happened here.
Ronan was completely whipped for Mila, and I loved to see it. He was obviously reluctant to develop any feelings for her, and he pushed those emotions away for quite a bit, but even so, he never pushed her away. He always wanted her in his orbit; he wanted her attention, her affection, her smiles, her banter. He just wanted her, plain and simple. And he would have burned the world down for her to be his forever.
Last but not least, I truly loved Mila as the heroine. She was naive, soft, and vulnerable, but her kindness never seemed weak to me. She had a genuinely kind and beautiful soul, which made me understand why Ronan fell so hard for her. Also, not unimportantly, she could be very witty and funny; she truly made me laugh a few times and she was undoubtedly charming.
That said, I might have wanted her to give Ronan a little more pushback from time to time and perhaps made him work a little harder for her affection, but I still never felt like she was a doormat. She did voice her displeasure whenever she felt it, but it’s just that she was a very easy-going and forgiving person, which was something I had to accept soon enough, even if I didn’t always like it.
All in all, I really liked these characters and I genuinely thought they had a very swoon-worthy, if tumultuous, romance with a lot of tropes I love. The writing was nice, albeit a bit smutty for my tastes, and I really managed to feel whatever these characters were feeling. It sucked me in from beginning to end, and I surely enjoyed the ride it put me on!
➛Second read: February 2025 | ★2.5 stars
EDIT after my re-read:
I can still see why I liked this so much the first time around, but upon reflection and after reading it again, I must, unfortunately, admit that this really was much too smutty, repetitive, and (at times) problematic for me. The first time, I had somehow found a way to ignore or turn a blind eye to a lot of little (and big) things that really annoyed or bored me this time around, but now… not so much.
My most major issue was with the fact that so many of their interactions were centered around sex or lust, while I personally wanted to see more emtional intimacy, depth and affection between them. It made the whole thing feel more shallow and superficial than it could have been: the potential of their sunshine/grumpy, captor/captive, innocent/evil dynamic could have given us so much more if only it wouldn’t have all led back to sex and lust.
Not to mention, some of the things that were said and done here just irked me or rubbed me the wrong way. Ronan’s treatment of Mila could be highly uncomfortable to say the least, and I was much less forgiving of that this time around. I couldn’t find it in myself to swoon for this man anymore.
Honestly, I think this book can be best described as a ‘guilty pleasure,’ which apparently worked for me really well the first time, but, sadly, not so much now.
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
Yup. I liked this. I liked it a lot. It really hit a lot of the right spots for me.
For some reason I have always loved the trope of the cold, hardened, cruel mobster boss who hates the whole entire world, but somehow develops a soft spot for one sweet, sunshiney girl, and this book executed that trope perfectly.
The captor/captive trope is a more difficult one to get right and definitely has the potential to be really annoying or frustrating. Fortunately, this book managed to stay away from all potential aspects I hate about that trope, such as the captor having a sadistic streak or just treating the captive like trash in general. Luckily, that never happened here.
Ronan was completely whipped for Mila, and I loved to see it. He was obviously reluctant to develop any feelings for her, and he pushed those emotions away for quite a bit, but even so, he never pushed her away. He always wanted her in his orbit; he wanted her attention, her affection, her smiles, her banter. He just wanted her, plain and simple. And he would have burned the world down for her to be his forever.
Last but not least, I truly loved Mila as the heroine. She was naive, soft, and vulnerable, but her kindness never seemed weak to me. She had a genuinely kind and beautiful soul, which made me understand why Ronan fell so hard for her. Also, not unimportantly, she could be very witty and funny; she truly made me laugh a few times and she was undoubtedly charming.
That said, I might have wanted her to give Ronan a little more pushback from time to time and perhaps made him work a little harder for her affection, but I still never felt like she was a doormat. She did voice her displeasure whenever she felt it, but it’s just that she was a very easy-going and forgiving person, which was something I had to accept soon enough, even if I didn’t always like it.
All in all, I really liked these characters and I genuinely thought they had a very swoon-worthy, if tumultuous, romance with a lot of tropes I love. The writing was nice, albeit a bit smutty for my tastes, and I really managed to feel whatever these characters were feeling. It sucked me in from beginning to end, and I surely enjoyed the ride it put me on!
This was truly incredibly repetitive and painfully slow-paced. I’m serious, almost every page is the exact same, and I’m sure you could skip chapters upon chapters without any issue. So much so, I’d even argue there wasn’t much of a real plot to speak of here. Sure, the premise was really cool and the potential could have been off the charts, but the lack of anything ever really happening kept this from being anything of the sort.
There’s also little to no interaction outside of one single room and between four one-dimensional characters. It’s supposed to be a story about a prison, yet we never set foot outside of the infirmary where the main character works, thus it never actually felt like a story that took place in an actual prison. It could have been anywhere. Therefore, there’s never any real suspense or even sadness about the horrific conditions of the place since we simply don’t get to see it. It’s vaguely mentioned once or twice, but not really. You definitely don’t get to actually experience or feel it. It’s mostly just a whole lot of inner monologue, which got old and boring sooo quickly.
Also, I don’t know what everyone is on about when it comes to the ending being so rad and shocking, because I found the plottwists to be extremely predictable. It was about as cliche as it could possibly be, not to mention incredibly stupid since it leads to three very important (and unfortunate) things as a result:
1) It negates the entire, never-ending inner monologue we have sat through this entire book, since it’s clear the main character has been lying and withholding truth this entire time, but since we’re reading from inside her head, I guess she’s been constantly hiding the truth from… herself?? Is she mentally insane? Like, nothing even remotely logical could explain her inner monologue when you consider the truth. It makes no sense. Genuinely, no sense.
2) The reveal makes all of the main character’s emotions entirely invalid. We have been led to believe a lot of things to explain her situation and her feelings on matters, but it turns out it was all untrue, so her feelings and emotions during this entire book are now completely null and void.
3) The plottwist also changes her from someone we previously viewed as incredibly compassionate and selfless to someone I’d personally call heartless. We now know she could have done plenty to save many many people, including her father and her mother, but she simply chose not to. It changes our view of her entire character from someone who constantly tries her hardest to save as many people as she can because she cares deeply about everyone around her to someone not even willing to help the people she supposedly loves most with minimal effort. I mean, I’d dare say she is approaching psychopath territory with that: You have to have no compassion at all to just sit by and watch people (your parents included) die when you had the power to save them. Crazy.
So, those three things combined really just lead me to question what on earth I’ve spent all this time even reading? It seems I’ve literally just read the most mind-numbingly slow story, narrated by a girl who is lying to herself for no reason other than to give us, as readers, a gotcha moment. Which means I basically read… nothing. What a waste of time.
That said, I do have to admit that I had a little bit of a soft spot for Tipp. The stuttering, vibrant 11-year old really managed to pull on my heart strings once or twice as the boy was simply too precious. But really, he was my one highlight, and he was far from enough to save this book for me.
There’s also little to no interaction outside of one single room and between four one-dimensional characters. It’s supposed to be a story about a prison, yet we never set foot outside of the infirmary where the main character works, thus it never actually felt like a story that took place in an actual prison. It could have been anywhere. Therefore, there’s never any real suspense or even sadness about the horrific conditions of the place since we simply don’t get to see it. It’s vaguely mentioned once or twice, but not really. You definitely don’t get to actually experience or feel it. It’s mostly just a whole lot of inner monologue, which got old and boring sooo quickly.
Also, I don’t know what everyone is on about when it comes to the ending being so rad and shocking, because I found the plottwists to be extremely predictable. It was about as cliche as it could possibly be, not to mention incredibly stupid since it leads to three very important (and unfortunate) things as a result:
1) It negates the entire, never-ending inner monologue we have sat through this entire book, since it’s clear the main character has been lying and withholding truth this entire time, but since we’re reading from inside her head, I guess she’s been constantly hiding the truth from… herself?? Is she mentally insane? Like, nothing even remotely logical could explain her inner monologue when you consider the truth. It makes no sense. Genuinely, no sense.
2) The reveal makes all of the main character’s emotions entirely invalid. We have been led to believe a lot of things to explain her situation and her feelings on matters, but it turns out it was all untrue, so her feelings and emotions during this entire book are now completely null and void.
3) The plottwist also changes her from someone we previously viewed as incredibly compassionate and selfless to someone I’d personally call heartless. We now know she could have done plenty to save many many people, including her father and her mother, but she simply chose not to. It changes our view of her entire character from someone who constantly tries her hardest to save as many people as she can because she cares deeply about everyone around her to someone not even willing to help the people she supposedly loves most with minimal effort. I mean, I’d dare say she is approaching psychopath territory with that: You have to have no compassion at all to just sit by and watch people (your parents included) die when you had the power to save them. Crazy.
So, those three things combined really just lead me to question what on earth I’ve spent all this time even reading? It seems I’ve literally just read the most mind-numbingly slow story, narrated by a girl who is lying to herself for no reason other than to give us, as readers, a gotcha moment. Which means I basically read… nothing. What a waste of time.
That said, I do have to admit that I had a little bit of a soft spot for Tipp. The stuttering, vibrant 11-year old really managed to pull on my heart strings once or twice as the boy was simply too precious. But really, he was my one highlight, and he was far from enough to save this book for me.