khopeisz's reviews
142 reviews

Happening by Annie Ernaux

5.0

Thank you, MME Ernaux

All Fours by Miranda July

2.75

One of those rare reading experiences that at the 80% point, I wanted to DNF. Reading about sexuality and perimenopause was compelling, but then the end result, for me,  felt somewhat like an NSFW Disney after school special (for example: compiling anecdotal data from friends felt very cliched for whatever reason). There were too many characters, one of whom was an enabler and yet we were supposed to believe she was just a nonjudgmental, enlightened bestie. Reading about characters who desperately could benefit from therapy is no longer engaging to me if the character is flat. imo, we don’t really know the MC apart from her struggles, and yet identity is so important to her; I don’t think she knows who she is apart from her struggles! Spoiler: but was completely frustrated that the MC and her husband stayed together. Why? You’re not happy? He said it himself it’s his one life? Your child is stressed! Get divorced!

In addition to characters, there were too many things going on in this book. I don’t feel like elaborating on that lol, but just know there’s too much stuff and not a lot of satisfying resolution to some of the minor (and a few major) plot points and themes. I am glad I did not buy this book and patiently waited in my library’s holding queue to get my chance to read my first ever Miranda July. That experience is now over, and I don’t think I’m in a hurry to repeat it. 

With this paired with my poor experience reading Creation Lake, maybe I do not need to queue up for some of these more popular writer’s sophomore or third books in their compulsory three-book deal contracts… But then, if the queen Claudia Piñeiro can manage!!!

Cold Nights of Childhood by Tezer Özlü

4.25

Stream of conscious review apropos this book, thanks to my insane migraine omg :/

Everything captured by the introduction and the translator’s notes in the copy that I read perfectly reflects my observations and sentiments for this book. This somewhat autobiographical book is so intriguing “for its madness, its honest sexuality, its lack of national fervor, and its individuality.” And what makes it more intriguing for me is its lack of linear commitment and the meaning this provokes for me. Because the story jumps between place and time so freely, you wonder to yourself, ‘what is actually happening?’ and ‘is this narrator reliable to tell this story?’ But that’s exactly how the surrounding world reacts to our narrator, the same woman who understands that no one believes sick people anyway. This book is true “consciousness distilled into narrative form,” and I appreciate it for that. It was engaging to follow, even as I struggled with it, and the sentiments brought up by the narrator were often affirming. Is it any wonder that the Aegean village brings some healing to her? Because it’s there where the narrator thinks, “…I have no thoughts about leaving. I’m cut off from time itself.” This resonated with me. Often in moments of despair, a person just wants to be refuged in some timeless apparatus, they want time to suspend so they can exist in life without its consequences, it’s extreme highs and lows. I could be projecting a bit, but anyway I felt this to be an authentic perception of the world by a woman despaired by her condition and society. Or just her condition. Or just society. You have to wonder.

Permafrost by Eva Baltasar

4.0

hello, I have the flu this review is a little disjointed, my b

Effective existentialism! There is something authentic in the way its theme is approached. And if I could compare, this book is, in my opinion, a more successful version of Everyone in This Room Will Someday be Dead. It is funny and believably raw; and I enjoyed the main character’s interiority even if I was made uncomfortable by her observations (seeing my own existential thoughts reflected on the page I mean—both uncomfortable and relieving). The main character does at times have a frustratingly unsympathetic outlook towards those in her life, but I understand her desire to cut herself off. Sometimes inviting someone else in your life can be such an emotional burden: their highs are your highs and their lows are your lows and it can be too much to bear if you’re a sensitive person, but what can you do but bear it for the sake of the people you love? This aspect of life can be a lot, so I get why the main character encases herself in this permafrost.

I also enjoyed the translator’s dedication to the author’s musicality and poetic intent. The book flowed in its translation and made for excellent storytelling. I will need to reread this as the majority of this was consumed during a flu-y snow day and I want to catch some thing’s that I may have missed (this rating subject to change). Looking forward to Baltasar’s other works!

A Little Luck by Claudia Piñeiro

5.0

Crying. This is the perfect book. I cannot speak about all the things I loved about this because I want whoever comes across this to experience the book organically, if they have yet to read it. This is not to say that the book is revolutionary in the sense of plot, but it is effective in its subtleties, philosophy, and structure (the first quarter of this book was structured so well while also hallmarking Piñeiro’s experimentalism). The characters, particularly our narrator, are also larger than life. I believed in their motives and internal struggles. 

I thought the inclusion of Robert was only bolstered by the introduction of Ariana towards the end. How sweet it is that the characters have loved ones who help them process their grief? Isn’t that what we all want?

At first I was scared about the ending. I wanted more! But the indication that the story stops where it does also moved me, as it signifies that our main character no longer feels the need to write anymore.

In the end, this is a beautifully sentimental and intriguing book. I would not classify this as a crime novel. This is a study of circumstance and family. I loved it.

Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner

2.75

This book was a DNF for me at the halfway point. I persisted because I did not want to DNF the first book of my 2025 reading year (do not do this, reader, life is too short!!). Also, this book and its author are widely well-known, and until the last page I held out hope that I would be moved by something.

This book was primarily written both passively and with narrative summary. So instead of “I walked to the store and spotted my target for my next assignment, [conversation ensues]”; sentences in this book will read like, “Last week, when I walked to the store for my tenth bottle of beer, I had seen Mark. He said hello. I said hello. We discussed the plans for the weekend. He didn’t know what I knew. Hehe. I walked away and drank the beer at my fake lover’s house.” Of course this is a bad example, but hopefully you get the idea. Mostly I am told things instead of shown them, and when things happen I am given a summary of them instead of invited to the scene by way of active verbs and dialogue. For a book about a defunct FBI agent, I thought this was an unusual writing choice. The writing diffused all opportunity for tension.

Secondly, it was a bit too disjointed for me. I would have preferred that the emails from Bruno were spliced between a more linear story line. But in the mix of emails and the progressing story line, we are given flash backs and back story of other assignments and some of these were not purposeful for me.

Was intrigued initially by the inclusion of Bruno’s emails and their effect on the main character. However, Bruno’s philosophies were too all encompassing, which is realistic for a fringe thinker. They have an opinion on everything. But for this book these ideas are too overwhelming. I think the themes would have been more effective if they were more focused. That we started the book on Neanderthals and ended with satellites, like I guess I get it but the thru line was a bit much.

I know nothing about the main character. Like nothing. Which may have been the point. You’re looking at me like duh that’s the point. But did she not have a childhood? A moment in grace? A traumatic incident? Did she completely eliminate her emotions towards her personal identity, the same identity that would have 1) led her to become a special agent and 2) led her to be transfixed by Bruno? I have no motivation for why she lives the life she lives or pursues the ideology she ends up pursuing. Therefore, I am not compelled to care about her. Which is a little mind numbing when you realize this book is basically her interiority. I am inside the mind of someone with no motives outside of drinking and I guess money.

There were too many men in this book. Not a misandrist note, it was just getting to be a little bit muddled trying to distinguish everyone from each other. Some of these men were pointless.

If Kushner was trying to say something with this book I completely missed it, and I’m usually an astute reader. If this was just supposed to be more of a genre book, then the writing was not engaging enough for me. Also there was a note about this being funny? A comedy, perhaps? I didn’t laugh ever, so I don’t know where that came from.

Anyway, my kindest recommendation is that you pass on this book, but if it gets adapted into a limited series that might be interesting to watch on your phone maybe.

My Death by Lisa Tuttle

4.5

Read on Libby…need to get my own copy so as to reread and annotate…

So i cannot bring myself to give a serious and thorough review of this short yet everlasting reading experience. The style of writing is right up my alley, the mood, the mystery…the themes. This is one of those stories that will hit you with a chill or a shiver upon the climax…and when you finish it, if you’re like me you’ll go, “what the f/ck did I just read?” but in a wondrous and mystified way. Like, how did Tuttle, in so short a story, do what she did to me? I need to reread this.

This is not a book I can write about coherently right now… I want to talk at someone about this for an hour. But it is worth noting, you would do better to engage with this book thematically and philosophically. Expecting a plotty payoff may disappoint you.

The Lady and the Little Fox Fur by Violette Leduc

slow-paced

4.0

Deborah Levy introduced this story by describing it far better than I could. Gushing, hyperventilating sentences. A stream upon another stream of emotion, referential to Virginia Woolf (whose work I’m too intimidated to read for this very reason). But what I liked best about this was its humanism and poignancy. The Lady and the Little Fox Fur is almost 75 years old, and yet speaks to the mind of those impoverished with, in my opinion, an empathetic understanding. Which make sense when you learn of the author’s background.  Of course when you have so little, you attribute life to your possessions. And the story does not lead you to believe that the lady is ‘crazy,’ but rather, it places you inside her mind so that you can see the sensibilities in her choices.

This also reminded me of a book I read growing up, The Family Under the Bridge. Just wanted to point out that comparison.

This is a slow and steady one; be prepared for walls of text with few ‘chapter’ breaks. But still a poignant winter story.

Two-Step Devil by Jamie Quatro

4.75

I had been waiting for Jamie Quatro’s next book since Fire Sermon, googling her every so often for book-related updates. So I was happy when I found that this book had been released, and that my local library carried it!

And wow. What a poignant read. But while I cried at multiple points, philosophically, I am not sure this book touched me on the deepest level. I’m just hard to engage with and challenge on a philosophical front though. But on a character level, I had such empathy for Zeke, who was torn on how to care for his father. And I loved the way Michael’s scenes were narrated, the youthfulness and also the skillful insertions of her past. And I appreciate the efficiency with which we get to know The Prophet. I never felt like he was crazy, only that I felt sorry for him. I was endeared by his paternalism and wished he’d chosen the alternative for his well-being. Much like Zeke.

One actual critique: I appreciate the found family aspect we have between The Prophet and Michael. I do wish we had more scenes of them bonding, from her perspective at least. Though I understand her as a character, I was not entirely convinced on why she stayed. Like I was 90% of the way convinced.

You could readily compare the Prophet’s artistry to that of the man behind Salvation Mountain. And I’m saying you could because I personally don’t know much about the man behind Salvation Mountain. For me, I think the best real life equivalent of The Prophet is James Hampton, whose Throne of the Third Heaven of the Nations' Millennium General Assembly is on display at one of the Smithsonians. That installation still haunts me, as I, formerly an evangelical, get overwhelmed by the concept of committing to a religiosity so deeply that the commitment eventually consumes you. And Quatro really captures this with The Prophet. This is a man who sees his visions until the very end, which is tragic, but the dedication is beautiful, thus making it haunting altogether.

Quatro also experiments with style, and in other books this experimentation, demarcated by sections, can leave the book feeling disjointed. But in this book, I feel like the varying styles work in favor of the story and its themes.

Here’s what I want to say about the portions with Two-Step: 1) I think with the script storytelling, and the imagery of them being on a stage, I could not help but compare this section to the performance scenes in All That Jazz, in which we also have a morally dubious man gripping with his life’s choices. 2) regarding Two-Step: I know a Screw Tape reference when I see one!

Anyway, this is the perfect sort of book for me. Can always appreciate whatever take Quatro has on American evangelicalism. Bonus points for referring to the 12 disciples as “those out-of-work fishermen” lmao. Also, as noted in another one of my reviews, I tend to be dizzy. The entire time I was reading this, I thought the book was set during Trump’s presidency. Doesn’t make sense timeline-wise lol. The years are at the start of ever chapter and Trump was not the president in 2014 🤦🏾‍♀️ It could help contextually if you understand that the present day scenes are during Obama’s presidency my b lol.

My Soul Twin by Nino Haratischwili

1.75

This book was a dnf for me at the 25% point but I decided to finish it bc 1) morbidly intrigued by the plot and 2) felt the urge to complete a book so that I could compel myself to read another book afterwards. An object in motion, you know.

That one season from love is blind demonstrably highlighted how incorporating your child in your extramarital affairs can cause trauma to that child as well as the family. And I get how attachment and abandonment issues born from your parents’ separation can mess you up as an adult if you don’t deal with them.

THAT being said, oh my god the main characters in this book are two of the most toxic people I have ever read about. This book also does a thing that irks me: for many many many pages we are skirting around a conflict without addressing it. Another book that similarly does this is They’re going to Love You, but I actually liked the characters in that book so the skirting was forgivable.

This book is also appropriately titled in the sense that only two of the most toxic people you know would call each other their soul twins or twin flames or some bullshit lol. Personally I believe that terminology is a signifier for, “I have codependency issues and don’t know how to let go.” Anyway, Stella and Ivo are the poster children for trauma bonding. Which would have been fine if this was a book about teenagers, but Stella is at a big age of 36 being so toxic. You think she would have worked out before being 36 that she and Ivo are not responsible for the tragedy of Ivo’s mother. If anything, more smoke should have been placed on their shitty fathers. But for some reason, Stella’s mother is painted in a bad light in the aftermath. And the two children grow up blaming themselves (which is completely understandable for children to do, but as a grown adult with your own child, I sort of lose patience with the self pity and toxicity).

This book needed to have been completely reworked in order to have been successful for me. 95% of this book (rough and maybe exaggerated estimate but who cares) is told in the passive voice. It held me at a distance, and I was never invested in/convinced by most of the events happening or the characters. The story should have followed them as children into young adulthood. But then if we did that then we wouldn’t have had all the salacious incest sex scenes gasp!

This book was translated well but the writing was meh. I cringed at some of the analogies and metaphors. What was that one paragraph about earnestly comparing a love affair to wine??

I have read books where stories with unlikeable characters and unlikeable mothers, for whom society does not have a lot of sympathy I get it, is done SO much better than it is in this book. Prime example, Ferrante’s The Lost Daughter! Impeccable in my opinion, and demonstrates in so little words how generational trauma can impact motherhood. Also, Piñiero’s All Yours gave brief glimpses into why the main character mothered the way she did, and you still didn’t hate her for it. So I’m not saying a mother character cannot be unlikeable and make selfish decisions in a book, I’m saying that if you’re not skillful in character development, maybe don’t tackle the subject? That Stella left her son to go on some random ass excursion with Ivo irritated me because I was exhausted with her as a character.

The whole final third of this book I skimmed you could not have paid me to give a flying fck about what Ivo and Stella were doing in the Caucasus region or wherever they were. Also, spoiler but they both should have died lol.

The carrot bit for me was the only saving grace. Someone protect little Theo.

I picked this book up out of consolation because my library does not carry The Eighth Life and that was the book by this author that I actually wanted to read. Now I don’t even want to read that book.