misspalah's reviews
1061 reviews

In Praise of Blood: The Crimes of the Rwandan Patriotic Front by Judi Rever

challenging dark emotional informative sad tense slow-paced

3.0

In Rwanda, death is generally not regarded as the end. If the spirits of the dead are dishonored, many believe evil will befall those responsible. The soldiers would have believed that the intentional disturbing of a corpse was sure to unleash malevolent spirits. They had to tamp down their fears and overcome their cultural prohibitions about the respect due the dead since a program of ethnic cleansing was under way, At twilight's darkest hour, they transported the corpses southeast to Akagera park, a vast wilderness area near the border with Tanzania, far from the scrutiny of the United Nations peacekeepers and the few NGOs still in Kigali. There, they dumped the bodies in pits, and incinerated them with a mixture of gasoline and gas oil. Soon the smell of smoke with death in it issued from the RPF's improvised "ovens." When the genocide broke out, Kagame's forces already controlled a large swath of Byumba, having seized it during the war of invasion that began in late 1990, and they had pushed up to a million Hutus into displacement camps such as Nyacyonga, where disease and hunger were rife.

• Getting away with mass murder - In Praise of blood : The Crimes of the Rwandan Patriotic Front by Judi Rever

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"In Praise of Blood" presents a controversial perspective on the 1994 Rwandan genocide. The Author, Judi Rever, challenges the  narrative of a single genocide primarily targeting the Tutsi minority and proposes the occurrence of two genocides. This theory, known as the Double Genocide Theory, suggests that alongside the well-documented genocide against the Tutsi, a second genocide was perpetrated by the Tutsi-dominated Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF) against the Hutu majority. Many actually acknowledged that the concept of a double genocide is not entirely new but for me, it is. The last book i read about Rwanda’s Genocide was written by Joseph Saberanzi titled ‘God sleep in Rwanda’ which pretty much highlight the conventional timeline of what entailed between Hutu Majority and Tutsi Minority. Now that i finished this book, i have more questions than answers to what happened exactly during those time. BUT i also have to highlight that this book was awarded a lot of prize for its credible reporting when it was published. Over the years, people started to find inconsistency and inconclusive evidence presented by her. This includes witness testimonies on the alleged death camps by The RPF. Some forensic anthropologists and scholars also raises questions the feasibility of mass cremations and acid disposal methods described in the book. Some even accused her to be Genocide denier. Just in case you wanted to read this book, i hope my review might help you determine whether it’s worth reading it or not. Now back to the concept of double genocide and how it applied in the Rwanda History. It was previously propagated by Hutu hardliners and genocide perpetrators as a means of deflecting blame from their own atrocities. The author argues that accusations of RPF genocide against the Hutu were used as a smokescreen by the extremist Hutu regime to divert international attention from their own genocide against the Tutsi. She further highlighted that the RPF's alleged genocide against the Hutu was conducted in secrecy. She also establishes the link that Western allies may have been complicit in covering up these atrocities. The fact that it was United States, United Kingdom and Canada is the one that turning blind eye on this is not surprising given the current situation on Gaza. Overall, this book has been eye-opening and illuminating in demonstrating another angle of the bloodiest event in the Rwanda History. This was not an easy read considering how graphic the crime was particularly on what they inflicted on women specifically. I think it’s time to find another book written by the Rwandan that could help shed light on the premise of ‘Kagame is the one orchestrating the whole thing to claim the power’ which heavily denotes by Judi Rever and offered the perspective of civilian when this massacre happened. 

The Hundred-Year Walk: An Armenian Odyssey by Dawn Anahid Mackeen

challenging dark informative inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced

4.0

“I thought of the turn of events i’d been through to get to this place - moving home to Los Angeles; finding my grandfather's journals, a discovery that felt like he was calling me; crossing the border alone. I also thought of the Turks I'd met along the way: the two women who shampooed my hair at the Kilis hamam and the nice Bolvadin taxi driver who had invited me to his relative's wedding despite my ethnicity, despite what he'd been taught about the Armenians. At one point, Hala's son Omar told me that when his extended family had first learned I was coming, theyd thought I was in need, like my grandfather. It was their tradition, the twenty-seven-year-old explained, to help someone in crisis. They would feed me, shelter me, whatever I required to make me whole. They had welcomed both me and my grandfather in this same spirit, both of us strangers, with different ethnicities, languages, and cultural beliefs. "A friend of the clan will not be asked what religion he embraces," one of the villagers later explained. "Religion is for God; the homeland is for all."

• One Family - The Hundred Year Walk : An Armenian Odyssey by Dawn Anahid McKeen

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The Hundred-Year Walk: An Armenian Odyssey offers an extensively researched portrayal of the Armenian Genocide and its aftermath as seen through the experiences by Stepan Miskjian which is the author’s grandfather. The book will not come to its fruition if the author’s mother give up on searching for any personal notes or diaries left behind by his father. Those notes together with some published materials in the library managed to present a deeply personal perspective on the sufferings endured by the Armenian people during this tragic historical period. The author worked together with an Armenian community around the neighbourhood to translate and also shared their input in order to complete this sort of historical investigation. The book managed to fully recount her grandfather's harrowing journey through the Ottoman Empire during that dark time . Through both Miskjian's story and Mckeen’s journey to trace back the his past, readers are transported to the heart of the Armenian experience, from the initial deportations and death marches to the struggles for survival and eventual resettlement in America. I know that not many people enjoy memoir or autobiography but this book is so evocative in its storytelling. The author managed to narrate Miskjian's experiences to life with rich detail, capturing the fear, pain, and resilience of the Armenian people in the face of genocide. Her writing is engaging and empathetic that allow readers like us to connect with the suffering endured by Miskjian and others. Ultimately, The book sheds light on a dark chapter of history of the Armenian Genocide that is often overlooked and denied. By amplifying the voices of those who lived through the genocide, she ensures that their stories are not forgotten and that future generations will remember the atrocities committed against the Armenians. Overall, this book serves as a testament to the importance of bearing witness , preserving memory and emphasizing the importance of acknowledging historical truths to prevent similar atrocities from occurring in the future. If you have never heard about The Armenian Genocide and would like to learn more about it, i think this is the right book to start with. 

Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri

challenging dark emotional inspiring tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

“I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home, and certainly I am not the first. Still, there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination.”

― Jhumpa Lahiri, Interpreter of Maladies

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I love all the stories in this book. Although i rated them differently according to my preferences but there is not one bad or meh story in it. ‘A temporary matter’ dealt with a hidden guilt and grief shared by husband and wife after losing their kid altogether. The story titled ‘When Mr. Pirzada came to dine’ is the reminiscant memory of a young girl when her parents decided to house a foreign guest. ‘Interpreter of Maladies’ narrated a POV of tour guide towards an NRI family that he drove around in India. Since this is a main title for entire collection , i actually expected to blown over by it but it was not. The story was good but i love ‘A temporary Matter’ more. The fourth story titled ‘A Real Durwan’ highlighted the trust and betrayal dynamic in the close knitted community living together in the area. ‘Sexy’ is another favorite of mine - extramarital affairs was so overused in the short story but if its written right, it could be amazing just like this story. ‘Mrs. Sen’ narrated the story of a boy and her neighbour, the boy felt that he and Mrs Sen have this sort of bonding or camraderie for one another even up to the point keeping a secret for each other. For a story number 7 - This blessed house , while understand the whole point of it, i find it hard to connect with the story - probably because both of the characters is so unlikeable. Next story which is titled ‘The treatment of Bibi Haldar’ was equally witty, funny and devastating at the same time. It tackled the treatment of disability in the society and the stigma attached towards it. Oftentimes, the disabled were being abused, discriminated and some were even sexually assaulted. Last but not least, ‘The third and final continent’ is such a perfect conclusion for the whole anthology. A story of an immigrant managed to make it in the foreign land  never cease to amaze me. Sure, a cliche storyline but it was warmhearted nonetheless. 

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Individual rating for each story in the book :

• A temporary Matter : 5/5
• When Mr. Pirzada came to dine : 4/5
• Interpreter of maladies : 3/5
• A real Durwan : 3/5
• Sexy : 5/5
• Mrs. Sen : 4/5
• This blessed house : 3/5
• The treatment of Bibi Haldar : 5/5
• The third and final continent : 4/5

The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill

adventurous emotional mysterious slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

“And the more they asked, the more they wondered. And the more they wondered, the more they hoped. And the more they hoped, the more the clouds of sorrow lifted, drifted, and burned away in the heat of a brightening sky.”

― Kelly Barnhill, The Girl Who Drank the Moon

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As someone that RARELY read fantasy, i knew that major part of fantasy genre usually includes world building and introduction of characters hence why some of those books went over 400 pages but consider i still want to say , 352 pages is too long for my liking. I get why its long but i dont have enough capacity to stay in fantasy world (if you know my genres you know why i said this). That being said, the reading was tedious. You were introduced with many characters , although not at once but some chapters do go back and forth whereby you have to keep track some of them since they are interrelated in a way. I think the turning page is when i discovered sister Ignatia is a sorrow eater (and the whole institution is a complicit in orchestrating the whole baby abducted by the witch so more sorrow could be generated), the madwoman is Luna’s mother and Ethyne is the baddass woman that came during important part of the book and slayed her way into the plot. I dont think i want to write the whole synopsis here ; i think everyone can just google it but picture this ; Whoever claimed they are good in the book is not really good and whoever were accused as a bad guy is not really what they were supposed to be. Another plus point to the book, there’s an old and wise witch with her loyal companions, a juvenile dragon and our main character, Luna who will unleash her true potential as powerful witch once the whole decade of misunderstanding  is being entangled. This is random but i actually like when Antain’s scenes appeared either with the Madwoman or Xan (in the swallow form) because you can see how genuine and sincere Antain are. It showed how he is one of the good guys in the book. Overall, its fun when there’s a twist and it gets tedious when you have to read through one by one as to not miss out on any details in the supposed fantasy world. 

The Diving-Bell and the Butterfly (4th Estate Matchbook Classics) by Jean-Dominique Bauby

emotional hopeful inspiring reflective tense slow-paced

3.0

One eye was sewn shut, the other goggled like the doomed eye of Cain. For a moment I stared at that dilated pupil before I realized it was only mine. Whereupon a strange euphoria came over me. Not only was I exiled, paralysed, mute, half deaf, deprived of all pleasures and reduced to a jellyfish existence, but I was also horrible to behold. There comes a time when the heaping-up of calamities brings on uncontrollable nervous laughter - when, after a final blow from fate, we decide to treat it all as a joke. My jovial cackling at first disconcerted Eugénie, until she herself was infected by my mirth. We laughed until we cried. The municipal band then struck up a waltz, and I was so merry that I would willingly have risen and invited Eugénie to dance had such a move been fitting. We would have whirled around miles of floor. Ever since then, whenever I go through the main hall, I detect a hint of amusement in the Empress's smile.

• The Diving-Bell and The butterfly by Jean Dominique Bauby

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The writing is impeccable especially for someone who’ve suffered locked-in syndrome that cause by a massive stroke.The author’s body was paralysed except his left eyelid. He can no longer speak, eat, walk or even move without the intensive medical assistance. Rather than using simple ABC, he has to learn new system known as ‘ESA’ to recalibrate back on how demonstrate the word that he wanted to say to ease the communication process. One cannot image how he’s coping with this predicament as one minute you are the former editor of a French Elle Magazine and the next minute, you cant even switch off the TV in your room. All the basic functions that made us human is being stripped off. This book is the final collection of his thoughts and reminiscent of his memories while trying to understand the current state that he is in, his frustrations and his helplessness as at that time the syndrome did not really have many information to begin with. The treatment and medication was limited and the research on it was underfunded. Jean Dominique Bauby died few days after the book was published due to heart failure. I would recommend this book if you can get past his pompous personality which so apparent in some chapters (despite being in that condition) as his prose is evocative and beautiful for the most part of the book. 

A Thousand Beginnings and Endings by Elsie Chapman, Ellen Oh

adventurous emotional informative inspiring mysterious tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

The Woman and the Tiger is a common children's folktale in the Hmong culture. The story always confused me as a child, although I think now it is probably a cautionary tale about the real physical danger of the jungle as well as the dangers of deception and trickery-although the tiger itself can be a metaphor for any number of things. Regardless, I've always been drawn to stories about families, both genetic and found, saving one another. Falling victim to the deception, Yer's sister and family is killed. But it's through her remaining family's aid (and a helpful bird) that she is rescued.

— Steel Skin by Lori M. Lee : A thousand Beginnings and Endings edited by Ellen Oh and  Elsie Chapman

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When we used Asian myths and legends at the front cover of the book, we expected that it will be inclusive to all ‘ASIA’ not just East Asia, Southeast Asia or South Asia. West Asia and Central Asia often being excluded should be something  of a past now - maybe current publishers should have known about this already. The book was okay - a mixture of some good retellings that impressed me right away but some retellings just did not hit the mark and forgettable. Short stories collection are usually like that but i believe what i love maybe the other readers wont find it that interesting and vice versa. These 16 authors took many mythologies, epics, traditions and folk tales that i am somewhat familiar such as ‘Aswang’ (The Philippines) , ‘The Hungry Ghost Festival’ (China), ‘Navratri’, The Story of Anarkali and Mahabharata (India) and integrate it in their story. However, there’s also some that i was not familiar at all and oftentimes these are the stories that i love the most. Forbidden Fruit written by Roshani Chokshi featured ‘Maria Makiling’ in her story and introduced us to the guardian spirit and mountain goddess in a pre-colonial Philippines. ‘The cowherd and The Weaver Girl’ , A Chinese Legend is being weaved together in the story titled  ‘The Crimson Cloak’ by Cindy Pon. It was a witty retelling after 2000 years their love tales happened and narrated from the POV of the weaver girl. The Smile by Aisha Saeed recounted the story of Anarkali (which i have heard the name being mentioned in the bollywood films and songs never knew details about her). Aisha Saeed write beautifully in demonstrating how lust could be mistaken easily for love and how women specifically back then did whatever they could to survive. ‘Eyes like Candlelight’ written by Julie Kagawa brought us to the Past Japan in the age of The Daimyo whereby majority of it ruled tyrannically. Our Main character named Takeo rescued Yuki , a Kitsune (Fox / Foxfire) and in return was granted a huge sum of rice for his deed. He was killed for it simply the tax collector accused him of hoarding the rice supply. Taking a form of Kitsune, Yuki then hunted all of them for killing the innocent Takeo. The Land of Morning Calm by EC Myers took the retelling one step ahead. She inserted ‘Chansa Bonpuli’ A korean Epic into the game whereby she needed to salvage her late mother’s character and somewhat memory before the company pulled the game out from the system. This was an unexpected combination that works and i have to applaud the creativity. Overall, this felt like 3.5 over 5 instead of 4 but since i did learn many epics and folktales that i have not heard before, i dont mind give it a 4. At the end of the day, this has been an interesting and fun read! 

The Sirens of Baghdad by Yasmina Khadra

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I have a question," he intoned gravely. "Why did Bush attack our country?" The question passed around the room without finding a taker; the others figured it was a trap, and no one wanted to be the subject of ridicule. Doc Jabir coughed into his fist, certain that he had everyone's attention. His ferrety eyes searched his audience for a hostile look; then, finding none, he began: "Because they wished to rid us of a despot, their former flunky, but now a compromising figure? Because our sufferings had finally touched the hearts of the vultures in Washington? If you believe that fairy tale for one second, then you're irredeemably screwed. The USA was extremely worried about two things that might interfere with its hegemonic projects. One: Our country was very close to acquiring full sovereignty-that is, a nuclear weapon. In the new world order, only nations that have a nuclear arsenal are sovereign; the others may be potential hotbeds of tension or providential sources of raw materials for the great powers, but from now on, that's all. The world is run by the forces of international finance, for which peace is equivalent to layoffs. It's all a matter of living space. The second thing the USA knew was that Iraq was the only military force in the region capable of standing up to Israel. Bringing Iraq to its knees would make it possible for Israel to dominate the Middle East. Those are the two real reasons that led to the occupation of our country. Saddam was nothing but an ex-cuse. If he seems to give the Americans' aggression legitimacy in the eyes of public opinion, that doesn't mean using him is any less of a diabolical ploy. Their trick is to create a diversion in order to conceal the essential objectives of the exercise, which are to prevent an Arab country from acquiring the means of its strategic defense and therefore from protecting its integrity, and, at the same time, to help Israel establish definitive authority over this part of the world."

• The Sirens of Baghdad By Yasmina Khadra

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Funny how the book published in 2008 still making sense in 2008 particularly in pointing out the US hypocrisy in playing the saviour to whichever countries they viewed as commodities  and to the country they deemed as terrorist will be annihilated according to his wish. And then the cycle continues as there’s an occupier, there’s a resistance movement among the occupied. The story brought us back during the Iraq War and highlighted how our main character, a young bedouin man becomes radicalized in response to the injustice and violence inflicted by the American occupation. The plot is straightforward but Yasmina Khadra’s writing never failed to impress me despite this was translated from French. He captured the dehumanisation of Iraqis during the invasion and how innocent civilians were caught during the crossfire of the conflict itself. The question of ‘West’ versus ‘the rest of the world’ - on their supposed moral superiority complex and on their animosity towards Islam and anything that is associated  with it were pointed out quite many times in the story via other characters, Doc Jabir and Dr Jalal. Open ending has been the writing style for Yasmina Khadra and since this is the third book i have read of him, i am not really mad on how it was ended. Overall, a gripping novel. One that can really made us ponder on the morality of western countries today particularly the US, UK that bombing Yemen one of the poorest countries in the world to retaliate against the Houthis’s sea blockade (which can be stopped if Isnotreal stop the genocide on Palestinian lives). But hey what do you expect from these mf colonisers?

Ten Myths About Israel by Ilan Pappé

challenging informative sad tense medium-paced

5.0

“The land of Palestine was not empty when the first Zionist settlers arrived there in 1882. This fact was known to the Zionist leaders even before the first Jewish settlers arrived. A delegation sent to Palestine by the early Zionist organizations reported back to their colleagues: “the bride is beautiful but married to another man. Nevertheless, when they first arrived, the early settlers were surprised to encounter the locals whom they regarded as invaders and strangers. In their view, the native Palestinians had usurped their homeland. They were told by their leaders that the locals were not natives, that they had no rights to the land. Instead they were a problem that had to, and could, be resolved. This conundrum was not unique: Zionism was a settler colonial movement, similar to the movements of Europeans who had colonized the two Americas, South Africa, Australia, and New Zealand.”

• Ten Myths About Israel by Ilan Pappe

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The real terrorist here is IS.EFFING.RAEL. Enough said. I wish i could have just my review with this one sentence. When the power dynamic is imbalance which is in the context, the occupier versus the occupied - any efforts of resistance is legitimately acceptable. BUT when it comes to ISRAEL, the world suddenly loses its common sense and all things is being justified as self-defence. It happened from 2012 until now with half of the world that preached democracy, equality and all those bullshit stood by , complicit in enabling this open air prison and incrementally pushed their agenda to genocide and ethnic cleansing. And No, it’s not a war. War would’ve indicated that both sides are equally powerful or at least has an access to weaponry but not in this case. Palestine has long been pushed against the wall, subjected to inhumane treatment and suffered decades of displacement. Ilan Pappe has long be so vocal about Israel illegitimacy and how it’s creation has pushed the narrative of Settler Colonialism which is far more sinister than Colonialism itself. I don’t intend to review every chapters - i believe if you are truly ignorant about Palestine and Israel but at the same time you are seeking for a short and concise educational material because you wanted to learn - then this book is the answer. From weaponising bible to justify their occupation towards Palestinian Natives both Muslims and Christians that has been living there side by side, to keep on victimising themselves by using anti-semitism whenever Israel issues were being raised, to the implication of Oslo accords to Palestine (both Gaza and West-bank) and to the creation of Hamas which after all, the byproduct of Israel constant attacks towards Palestinian Population. The enabling of Israel right to exist and to defend themselves has been utilised over and over again and emboldened by its allies, United States and other western countries. However, the thing that is much more sinister behind this approval is far more sinister as Christian Zionist believe that this will spark the second coming of Christ. Once you go through these 10 myths, you will never believe in 2 states solution anymore. I have to be frank, 2008 me would have preached for peace and wanting everyone to live side by side accordingly but 2023 me would have beg to differ. I would be chanting ‘From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free’ much more louder, bolder and stronger until PALESTINE are truly FREE. The aftermath of what this zionist have done after 7 October which majority of the atrocities in the said date proven to be false and has been discredited. The book mentioned that Israel has been doing this many times previously and unfortunately, they are still doing it today. They are the king of playing victim, gaslighting the world to overlook their past crimes and with USA on their side without any repercussions from United Nations which are at this point has been pretty useless, Israel will continue their plan for supposedly ‘GrEaTeR IsR@HElL’. Now, flipping back the narrative, once the occupied and being killed and slaughtered by Hitler and Nazi Regimes, they are becoming their occupier , treating the natives Palestinian that has been living there for centuries that has accepted their presence in the first place in 1948 only to be pushed aside and treated inhumanely over the course of years. Overall, this is a must read book! 

Corridor: 12 Short Stories by Alfian Sa'at

dark mysterious tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

Jakarta is a big city, the traffic is bad, people are just honking everywhere, dashing across roads. The hotel I stayed at sent us newspapers every morning which I tried to read, but I realised that the Malay and Indonesian languages have some words in common and many words not in common, so I gave up after a while and watched TV. It was strange to see the programmes we got at home which were usually snowy suddenly look so clear. At home we could get some Indonesian channels, but they always looked like there was a swarm of ants on the inside of the screen, crawling all over but not disturbing the studio host, the newscaster with the big earrings, or the soap opera star with the giant hair bun.

• Corridor : 12 short stories by Alfian Saat

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Majority of stories ended abruptly just when you started to make sense of it. I guess that is the risk of reading an anthology - you never know how it ends or how much it will revealed. I felt somewhat connected, called out even over how much i can understand the loneliness and desolation of some of the main characters in the story ; The one that was hustled but never got compensated for it, the one that was abused but never got over their trauma, the one that trying to escape their own misery but never did and the one that endlessly chasing the dream only to realise it’s not what it seems. The stories captured what its like to be a middle class Singaporeans at least that’s what i have gotten while reading it. Majority of the stories possessed this unsettling vibe and i do believe it is the intention of the author. Overall, i would say this is a decent collection of short stories. The one that stood out to me is ‘Corridor’, ‘Project’, ‘Pillow’ and ‘Video’. The rest not so much as it has its moments but it’s forgettable for the most part. 

A State of Change by Penelope Gilliatt, Ali Smith

challenging reflective tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

America's submerged in the present but that isn't the point. The essence is that neither of you have got a sense of the future. All the hankering after the past here is a metaphor for something else - for having no vision of a future that is at all exciting to anyone. A whole dimension of historical consciousness in people has simply been cut off. There's no Utopia any longer. The future is something that just happens here. It hasn't been imagined. England and America know that they've had revolutions but no one feels that there have been any revolutionists. That's the most painful humiliation in social history. We're living in highly educated idealistic societies that haven't thought or planned or dreamed of anything that's happening to them. Why do you think everyone hates technology except technologists? Because they didn't conceive of it. It never took place in their imaginations. This is something special to you. Victorians lived in the future all the time. So do people in Communist countries now. Of course. Because there's nothing else for Communists to do. Everything in the present is too disappointing to think about. And oh, how monstrously those pipe dreams are going to be betrayed? Probably. But you would be right to bear these people in mind. They do exist. Millions of people whose imaginative life is as different from yours as an Elizabethan's would be. They are at least an assertion that a sense of creating one's own future is still possible.

• A state of change by Penelope Gilliatt

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Wow, i have no idea how to review this book actually. I tried to make sense of ‘Kakia’ the main character - but the story was not doing her justice. She sounds complex but the storyline was brief, barely able to hold on to its plot and to top it off, some of the side characters in the book was jerks and judgmental as fuck (*cough Harry, *cough Don) that i literally went huh? how the fuck did Kakia put up with it. Dont get me wrong, Kakia was not exactly likeable - the way she mumbled jumbled about communism, how the situation back then like in Poland sounded like those privileged rich girls that managed

to escape the war happened in their country because of their family connection and money. A year later, they are the one who’ve published the memoir claiming and narrating the whole events like they were the one who were left behind. I am not sure whether other readers will agree but that’s how i viewed her based o. how she was written in the book. Originally, i did want to rate this 3 stars but towards the end, the book totally lost me in the process and i am somewhat disconnected to it. One can say that its about woman finding and discovering her selfhood while migrating to the other country and try to make a living while at it. I can see why synopsis insinuating the story to be structured in that manner but i really disagree. This book was like a fever dream. Overall, read it at your own risk. Its not for me but i believe probably there are others that enjoy her writing style.