misspalah's reviews
1070 reviews

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan

dark hopeful mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

We try so hard to make these little time capsules. Memories strung up just so, like holiday lights, casting the perfect glow in the perfect tones. But that picking and choosing what to look at, what to put on display—that's not the true nature of remembering. Memory is a mean thing, slicing at you from the harshest angles, dipping your consciousness into the wrong colors again and again. A moment of humiliation, or devastation, or absolute rage, to be rewound and replayed, spinning a thread that wraps around the brain, knotting itself into something of a noose. It won't exactly kill you, but it makes you feel the squeeze of every horrible moment. How do you stop it? How do you work the mind free? I wish I could command my brain, say to it: Here. Go ahead.

Unspool, and let the memories go. Let them be gone.

• The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R Pan

.

.

Leigh’s mother died due to suicide. Growing up, she always thought both her parents were madly in love with each other and their presence alone managed to make each other happy. Leigh thought that there was no way the sudden sadness and misery will take over her mother. BUT it did, and now she was left with her father to pick up pieces of their memories and moments together that were left behind by her mother. Grief was a huge theme and it is sort of embedded in the storyline. We saw how Leigh carry the grief and try to dismantle the secrets that has been kept hidden by her mother. Having an emotionally disconnectef father which often busy, Leigh knew that his father will not believe her when she told that her mother appeared in a bird form. Her father dismissed her vision by insisting it was not real. Her father decided to bring Leigh to Taiwan just so that she could connect with her maternal grandparents that she never met before. She discovered that she got 49 days to decipher what her mother wanted to say to her and why she kept on saying ‘I want you to remember’. Together with her grandma and Feng, she went on to embark a journey whereby she discovered many things about her mother’s family - the adoption, the sister, the fight and the demise of her mother’s sister. The book was written in Leigh’s POV but it often jump back and forth to the time her mother was alive and to the time when Leigh has to accept the reality that she was gone. As for Axel, Leigh’s best friend, i think the author wrote it to give a break to readers - At least for few parts it was about angsty teenagers and their young love or else the book will be just a big ball of sadness. Being true to to its title, this book indeed featured variety of colors that i dont even know existed -Mango Yellow, Chromium Oxide Green,  Cadmium Orange, Cerulean Blue and so many more. It is Axel and Leigh love language to each other (what color?) especially when they wanted to emote things that is hard to describe by words. Overall, this was a stellar debut by the author. I could not stop reading it. I was hooked from the beginning until the end. I wonder why i took such a long time to read it.  

.

P/S : The author also lose one of her family members to suicide. No wonder the writing felt so real - the way she described depression and how it engulfed a person in its totality. 

The Writing on My Forehead by Nafisa Haji

challenging emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

“That, my friends, is the difference between journalism and fiction. Power. The power that transforms a relatively obscure—no matter how highly acclaimed—literary figure into worldwide headlines. The contents of Salman Rushdie’s novels—his stories—will never, never have the impact that the story about Salman Rushdie had. There is a lot of posturing about this—about Rushdie’s right to expression from one side, about the blasphemous nature of his work from another—but what he expressed was read neither by the vast majority of those who claimed his work to be insupportably offensive nor by those whom they, in turn, offended. They—those rioting hordes, those mullahs and fatwa-issuing ayatollahs—relied on the news. The same goes in the so-called Western world—so-called, because this kind of delineation, it seems to me, is a dangerous affectation that has nothing to do with the fact that “we live in one world, all of us, with equal responsibility to care for it and equal opportunity to exploit and defile it. In the so-called Western world, few cared about Rushdie’s novel per se. It was its effect that was the story, not its content. If that effect had not been reported on here, Salman Rushdie’s book would have remained tucked away, however highly appreciated, in the literary niche where brilliant writing remains buried. Am I right? Can we agree on this? That there is more power in journalism than in fiction?” Majid Khan paused for a long moment.”

• The Writing on My Forehead by Nafisa Haji

.

.

This is the perfect embodiment of third culture individuals (TCI) story. We followed the journey of Saira growing up in typical Pakistani & Indian Culture but no longer wanted to be tied in with the values that her parents and grandparents grew up with. Saira was torn between chasing her freedom with whatever her parents felt would bring shame to the family and incompatible with the values that they have taught her. I am not going to lie that I was more invested with the story of Saira’s grandparents whom she called (Big Nanima, Nanima and Nana) in the first part of the story. The dynamics that they shared knowing that the fate of being abandoned by her husband could have gone to Big Nanima instead of Nanima or the possibility that Nana might have been happy with Big Nanima if he was married to her somehow intrigued me. BUT the book was not about them. They were one of the secrets that has been concealed from outsiders despite many knew about the affairs that Saira’s grandfather left her grandma to be with some white woman in England. That alone strengthen Saira’s resolve and determination that she refused to be married off at the young age and wanted to pursue her studies / take her time as much as she can to figure out her future. Then, Saira met her cousins from her father’s side, Mehnaz and Mohsin. They were raised differently (almost too Americans) and it did come as a surprise to her. They eventually bonded once Mohsin revealed that their paternal grandfather was a freedom fighter (which is another secret) and towards the end of life, he was hugely disappointed with the choices that both his sons opted (Mohsin’s father and Saira’s father). One chooses to capitalize wealth by siding with the riches and the other choose to serve western countries instead of returning to motherland and working with its people. Over the period of teenagerhood and adulthood, Saira and Mohsin grew more closer, and it did put a huge distance for her, and her family given that Mohsin has been disowned after revealing that he’s gay. Saira pursued journalism as a career option and often collaborated with Mohsin to publish newsworthy material. The second half of the book was good but not as good as the first half, at least in my opinion. I felt that many gaps were left unexplored. I don’t know whether its intentional or the author felt readers are capable in filling in themselves. I don’t dwell much on the dynamic that Saira has with her sister because I believe it was almost universal experience of being a girl to be compared to our sister or female cousin. Of course, the favorable one is always the pretty one or the demure one. It was never the bold one, the brainy one or the courageous one. We were often pitted against each other by our mother, aunties, grandmothers, and extended relatives. It was like a rite of passage especially if you are growing up in Asian family. I knew exactly how Big Nanima, and Saira’s felt of being overlooked and ignored. Overall, this is an impressive novel for a debut. The author served a multi layered family stories that emphasized cultural and historical ties to their identity and how one’s choice may alter one’s destiny throughout their whole life. This would be 5 stars if the ending was not rushed.

Who Will Catch Us as We Fall by Iman Verjee

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Raj swallowed down his building aggression. "Thank you for calling”. He put the phone down and turned to his son, who was standing beside him. "You heard that?' "Yes. 'You know, the people with the kindest hearts are often the ones who get trampled on the most. That doesn't mean you stop being generous, understood?' Raj gazed down at the phone, thinking of the man and what Pio might have done and his anger slowly broke apart. He said to Jai, 'One day, you will be called upon to do the right thing and nothing else will matter except that you do it. African, Indian, Gorah, it doesn't matter when we are all Kenyans?

• Who will catch us as we fall by Iman Verjee

.

.

At some point, the book was brutal. At some point, the book was thought provoking. At some point, the book was was remarkable. At some point, the book was disappointing. I dont really mind the disjointed parts - where we go from the adult version of Leena, Jai and Micheal to their childhood where they played together even at that time the class and racial differences were kept on being drawn by Pooja, Leena and Jai’s mother. Pooja was such irritating and racist through and through till the end (and i am not surprised such character existed in real life). Raj, Leena and Jai’s father is an idealistic figure and have always believe that they are Kenyans,  they need to be united as one, and proud to be part of the country. This lessons drove Jai to fight for what is right despite his privileges and grew up in rich family. Leena, on the other hand, was forced to agree with her mother and was forbidden to mingle with ‘Khariya’ - Thus she lived quite a sheltered life until she returned back from overseas after she went there for her studies. I am not Kenyan but i do believe this is derogatory term to refer to African. The book also alternately introduced us to Jeffery, a corrupt police officers who have betrayed his friend that led to his own demise, then took his friend’s wife to alleviate his guilt. Jeffery, then involved in some shady activity to resolve his debt but this is where it got entangled with Jai and Leena’s family. Leena never moved on from that tragedy and ran away from Kenya. I dont want to spoil the ending by writing more so i will stop here.  However, once i finished the book i can actually the parallel of Kenyan Society with Malaysian Society. The british colonisation brought over immigrants from China / India and once they left, these immigrants become part of the society. However, despite having been in the country for so long, living side by side - the suspicions, prejudices and insinuations between each other was always there. It was so apparent that they were divided especially during the election. Alot of what i assumed as racial slurs were being integrated in story to show that there’s always ‘we versus them’ / Khariya Versus Muhindi and the idea that this is not their country or they dont belong here. One chapter try to show how deeply divided they are by highlighting after Jeffery saw how wealthy Jai’s family and how big his house is, this is what he said to his friend: 

As Betty climbed out, Jeffery spoke, staring up at the rise and fall of the impressive home.

"It doesn't make you angry?' She paused, one leg still in the car, her eyes craned downward.

'What?' "That this isn't even their country and yet they get to enjoy every part of it while were the ones made to suffer.' Overall, the book offered a realistic story with a glimpse of hope at the end of it. It talked about how broken society can be with unending poverty, fueled by corruption and breach of trust. It demonstrated how a nation progressed without true unity that it can be so volatile that any incidents may spark racial violence. Admittedly, It was depressing but i am glad i finished the book. 

.

.

P/S: Can somebody enlightened me why Raj, Pooja, Leena and Jai was categorised as someone belonged in East Asian Community in Kenyan Society? Because from the description and even when i am finished with the book, i can see clearly they belonged to South Asian Community. Is there any reason for specifically in Kenya or is it just a blunder made by the publisher of the book? 

Believing Women in Islam: Unreading Patriarchal Interpretations of the Qur'an by Asma Barlas

challenging hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

 More than that, it also assumes that in order to be men's awliya, women must have the freedom, right, and authority to be able to guide them and be their "custodians." In other words, the notion of mutual guardianship presupposes a structure of male-female authority that does not privilege males. As things stand, however, a majority of Muslims read another Qur'änic injunction as saying that men are "in charge" of women and their guardians. However, to accept this interpretation—which can be questioned on various grounds (as I argue in chapter 7)—would mean letting go of the truly radical nature of the concept of awliya' and its far-reaching social ramifications for how men's authority could be structured in Muslim societies. Even though the Qur'änic conception of mutuality that is explicit in the term awliya' necessitates an absence of gender hierarchies and inequalities based in the idea of sexual differentiation, Muslims continue to read all three (hierarchy, inequality, and differentiation) into the Qur'än by differentiating between the moral and the social realms. They concede that the Qur'än treats women and men similarly, hence equally, in the moral realm (conceived as the realm of worship, or 'ibadah), but they argue that the Qur'än treats women and men differently, hence unequally, in the social realms by giving them different kinds of rights in marriage, divorce, and so on.
- The Quran, Sex/Gender and Sexuality : Believing Women in Islam - Unreading Patriarchal Interpretations of Quran by Asma Barlas
.
.
Excellent book, I must say. Asma Barlas left no stone unturned in her research to unread patriarchal interpretation of the Quran. The book consisted 8 chapters which analysed Quran in its textual, epistemological and together with critical outlooks from philosophical, both conservative and feminism POV. Asma encouraged Muslims to not simply accept the current translation of Quran which mostly served the agenda of Muslim Men at that time but to re-learn why it was being interpreted in that manner and how some has been misogynistic in nature despite Quran prohibition on decoding its message wrongly. While Quran strongly preserved the status for both men and women equal specifically in terms of ‘Ibadah’ and ‘good deed’ but some men decided to insert their agenda of highlighting that women status and action is somehow inferior. They are being emboldened by some (questionable) Hadith, Ijma and Ijtima rulings that used to further the agenda of pushing women further behind - specifically in resuming the Patriarchal Interpretation of the Quran and masking it as God’s exact word. I truly believe that this book should re-read for a second time as there are some parts that are too technical especially when they discussed the exegesis of the Quran. I still have to applaud the author’s attempt in simplifying some of the methods on how to comprehend the literal text of the Quran to the readers. She also put on a discourse on why the context could have meant different things which honestly such an eye opening analysis. BUT As Much as i want to elaborate each chapter, i believe i may do the disservice towards her concise dissection on the Patriarchal Aspect of the Quran. What i would do below this is to share some excerpts in each chapter to show how brilliant her writing in trying to untangle the complexity of the Qur'anic hermeneutics. Overall, A must read for muslim women who’ve wanted to ask and discuss certain things in the Quran but afraid that their questions might caused a controversy - I truly believe Asma Barlas wrote this book for us.
.
.
1. The Qur'än and Muslim Women:
Reading Patriarchy, Reading Liberation
- [ ] If we need to keep in mind the historical contexts of the Qur'än's revelation in order to understand its teachings, we also need to keep in mind the historical contexts of its interpretations in order to understand its conservative and patriarchal exegesis. The most definitive work—not only in Qur'änic exegesis but also in law and Islamic/Muslim tradition-is considered by many Muslims to have been produced during the first few centuries of Muslim history. Here it is important to note that what is nominally called "the" Islamic tradition has many, and sometimes contradictory, tendencies within it and is, moreover, "a synthetic rather than a 'natural' product, bearing clear signs of selective endorsement," as al-Ghazali argued in the twelfth century. In this context, he pointed out that traditions do not pass into the present "unprocessed and unmediated... Instead, someone has to make decisions about which aspects of the past are non-essential and thus allowed to drop out, and which elements of the present are consistent with the past and thus eligible for admission into the sanctum of tradition" (quoted in Jackson 2002, 20, 24). The reason Muslims seemed not to recognize this fact, according to al-Ghazali, had less to do with the imitativeness of tradition itself than with "that blindness that condemns people to being led around by others (taglid)" (Jackson, 88.)
.
2. Texts and Textualities: The Qurän, Tafsir, and Ahadith
- [ ] As a result, legal norms often came to be based on the opinions of the Prophets Companions, even when these opinions were not based on his Sunnah. Not only does the Shariah not always adhere to the Sunnah, then, but it embodies "medieval principles of reason and objects of public good that may no longer be valid today" (An-Naim 1990, 71). For instance, its restrictive stance on human rights may have been "justified by the historical context, [but] it ceases to be so justified in the present drastically different context" (170). Also, implementing the Sharlah can curtail the rights not only of women under secular law but also those of men due to the extensive power given to political and state rulers (9). We therefore need to rethink the Shariah, says An-Naim, a process that is of special concern to women because its hold is "strongest in family law [due to] the greater degree of detailed regulation of these fields in the Quran and Sun-nah" (32).20 Rethinking the Sharah requires clarifying the "Islamicity" of certain principles, and one way to do so is to make sure that they are "con-sistent with the totality of the Quran and Sunnah"; the problem, however, is that there are inconsistencies between "certain verses of the Quran and Sunnah" (45). Mahmud Mohamed Taha," as An-Naim argues, believed that the tensions can be resolved by drawing on the Meccan surahs, which embody "the fundamental values of justice and the equality and inherent dignity of all human beings" (Taha 1987, 54). According to Taha, it was only in the aftermath of the Prophet's migration to Madina that the Qur'än and Sunnah "began to distinguish between men and women," and it is in this period that the Qur'än's "discriminatory verses" were revealed. This is why he wanted Muslims to implement the Meccan surahs, which jurists view as having been abrogated.
.
3. Intertextualities, Extratextual Contexts:
The Sunnah, Sharỉ'ah, and the State
- [ ] In effect, the method Muslims sacralize as Islamic nullifies the distinction Muslim theology has always made between "divine speech and its earthly realization." This so-called Islamic method collapses the Qur'än with its male-authored exegesis, displacing the Qur'än's authority by the authority of (conservative) male exegetes. In this way, it confuses God's authority with the authority of interpreters of sacred knowledge, thus infringing on the cardinal tenet of God's absolute sovereignty, a function of Gods indivisible unity (Tawhia).Ironically, like other aspects of religious knowledge, this method of interpreting the Qur'än began as the opposite of what it eventually became. It originated in attempts—by the ubiquitous al-Shafi in the second/eighth century—to make the Sunnah paradigmatic, but it ended up generating a paradigm that enabled its users to further their own hegemony instead. For al-Shafi, the problem was how to authorize interpretive variations within an Islamic framework. His solution was to link variations to the same textual sources: the Qur'än and the Sunnah. However, the use of this inter-textual method in the hands of various schools in the following centuries came to preclude variations, for reasons that Wheeler (1996) considers in detail but which are too complex to condense meaningfully here. The point is that a method devised to protect the integrity of the Qur'än and the Sunnah instead enabled its users to extend "authority from a posited [canonical text)" to themselves thus permitting them to install "a paradigm that authorizes [their] own interpretive privilege" (237, 226). This method has developed into a system of scholarly lineage, or nasab, in which one's authority derives not so much from knowledge of the subject matter or the merits of one's work as from one's association with a specific interpretive community and one's acceptance of a thin consensus of medieval jurists. It also rests on an epistemology that, by confusing divine speech with its human interpretations, undermines the doctrine of Tawhid and enables and legitimizes the displacement of misogyny onto the divine.
.
4. The Patriarchal Imaginary of Father/s:
Divine Ontology and the Prophets
- [ ] Given the Qur'än's unrelenting rejections of God's sacralization as Father, it seems unconscionable to read Islam as a theological patriarchy. If God can only be a patriarch or God can only be patriarchalized—to the extent that God can, in fact, be sacralized as Father-then how can God's self-disclosure in the Qur'än be interpreted as providing the basis for either patriarchalized views of God or theories of father-right/rule based in such views? If God is not Father in Heaven in either a literal or a symbolic sense, how can fathers represent their rule on earth as replicating the model of divine patriarchy? And if—as the Qur'än makes clear—we cannot represent fathers' rule as replicating God's rule, in what sense is God "on the side" of fathers or of patriarchy? Indeed, if God is not father, son, or hus-band, in what sense is God male ("He")? Ironically, while Muslims reject misrepresentations of God as father/ male, most see no problem in continuing to masculinize God linguistically and to propagate, on the basis of their linguistic references, theories of male rule/privilege over women. One therefore needs to inquire into the paradox of masculinist conceptions of God and the idea of a symbolic continuum between God's rule and man's in the absence of the Qur'änic view of God as Father/male.
.
5. Abraham's Sacrifice in the Qur'än:
Beyond the Body
- [ ] It is within the context of these teachings that I understand God's rescue of Abraham from his father, and of Abraham's son from him, and I consider the two to be very different. For one, the sons and fathers could not be more different themselves. Both sons, for instance, are monotheists, but one falls victim to his unbelieving father's depredations, while the other submits of his own volition to the God of his fathers. Both face death, but for different reasons and at the hands of very different fathers. One father (Abraham's) tries to kill his son for his faith, and the son has no choice in the matter. In contrast, the other father (Abraham), while also ready to sacrifice his son as a matter of faith, can only proceed with it at his son's expressed wish. If these differences did not exist, Abraham would have been no different from his own father, and the story of his near-sacrifice of his son would have proved little more than the omnipotence of fathers in patriarchies. How-ever, the morals of the two stories are not the same, and that is the second way in which they are different. One reveals an outright conflict between obeying God and obeying fathers, especially those who are "devoid of wisdom and guidance" (2:170 [Ali, 67]). The message of the other story is that in order for God's will to be done, believers must submit to it voluntarily. And since God is not Father, one cannot view God's rule (monotheism) as a divine surrogate for father's rule (patriarchy). To the contrary, and borrowing from Derrida (1995), there is an "insoluble and paradoxical contradic-tion" between father's rule and God's rule. That is why Abraham's story can be read as "a moral allegory about the consensual and purposive nature of Faith, its primacy over kinship and blood, the existential dilemmas that can result from submitting to God's Will (specially where it comes into conflict with one's own life, and, not least, the insignificance of the father's will in comparison to God's Will" (Barlas 2002, 116).
.
6. The Qur'än, Sex/Gender, and Sexuality: Sameness, Difference, Equality
- [ ] It seems that sex as presented in the Qur'än is an ontological as well as a sociological category; at the same time, however, the Qur'än does not use sex to construct ontological or sociological hierarchies that discriminate against women. Thus, the Quãn recognizes sexual differences, but it does not adhere to a view of sexual dif ferentiation; put differently, the Qurän recognizes sexual specificity but does not assign it gender symbolism.18 Since the Qur'än does not invest biological sex with content or meaning, being male or female does not in itself suggest a particular meaning of gender. And to the extent that it is difficult to theorize a determinate relationship between sex and gender based on the Qur'än's teachings, it is also incorrect to claim that it ascribes sex/ gender hierarchies or inequalities to biological sex. Conversely, while the Qur'än recognizes sexual differences, it does not sexualize difference itself; in other words, it does not define women in terms of attributes that are unique only to women, or suggest that they are opposites of men or that they manifest the lower aspects of creation. Nor does it define men in terms of attributes that are unique only to men,° or suggest that they are opposites of women or that they alone manifest the higher aspects of creation. Indeed, Wadud (1999, xxi) argues that there is no "concept of woman" or of "gendered man" in the Qurän. As such, whatever differences exist between women and men "could not indicate an inherent value" because, if they did, the concept of "free will would be meaningless" (35).
.
7. The Family and Marriage: Retrieving the Qur'än's Egalitarianism
- [ ] In fact, it is questionable whether daraba actually refers to striking a wife, even symbolically. Rafi Ullah Shahab (1993, 231), for instance, says daraba also means "to prevent." On his reading, the ayah is telling the husbands to "leave [the wives] alone in their beds and prevent them from going outside of houses." In support of his reading, he points out that the Qur'än provides for similar treatment of lewd wives in 4:15. However, while Shahab reads the ayah as pertaining to lewd behavior, Hassan (1999, 355) has an entirely different understanding, not only of daraba, but of the second half of the ayah as well. She argues that the word "salihat, which is translated as righteously obedient,' is related to the word salahiat, which means 'capability' or 'potentiality,' and not obedience." As such, she takes it to be a reference to women's child-bearing potential, suggested also by the word ganität, which refers not only to obedience but also to a water container (a metaphor for the womb). She thus reads this ayah as referring to "women's role as child-bearers" and argues that only if all the women rebel against this role must they be disciplined by the community, not their husbands. This does not imply random acts of violence, however, because in a "legal context" the word daraba "means 'holding in confinement" (Hassan, 355-56). Her reading not only accords with Shahab's interpretation of daraba as confinement, but it is also more in line with the Qur'än's counsel to husbands to deal kindly with their wives, even those who are their enemies or whom they hate.
.
8. Secular-/Feminism and the Qur'än
- [ ] Ali cites Farid Esack's observation that the Qur'än's "essen-tial audience is males," while women "are essentially subjects being dealt with—however kindly—rather than being directly addressed" (quoted in Ali 2006, 125-26). However, whereas Esack calls women "subjects" even in such instances, Ali argues that the Qur'än objectifies and otherizes them. Neither one, however, defines what they mean by "subjects." However, if what makes men subjects is that the Qur'än speaks to them, then it speaks to women as well. If, on the other hand, what makes men subjects is that the Qur'än speaks to men about women, then those yat are less than o.1 percent of the text. Moreover, it speaks to men "in the present or present continuous tense, as if they already are in authority over women, and not in the imperative or future tense, as if they should always be so" (Barlas 2008, 25; italics in the original). For the Qur'än to have recognized where authority resided in the patriarchy to which it first spoke is not evidence that God treats women as objects. After all, God made both men and women khalifa (vice-regents) and one another's awliya' (custodians, guides, protectors). If anything, the Qur'än's teachings about moral individuality assume that men and women are both "epistemological, thinking subjects" and selves who are the "locus of subjective experience";" that is, individuated, self-reflexive people capable of subjectivity and intersubjectivity. If Ali has a different understanding of what it means to be a subject, she should clarify it. Or, she could explain why both subjects and objects would be called khalifa and awliya'. 

The Free Negress Elisabeth by Cynthia McLeod

challenging dark emotional reflective tense medium-paced

4.0

Mrs Reijdenius sometimes realises how bored I am and invites me downstairs to join her for tea. She is curious about everything! The conversation took a strange turn the other day. She thought that I was a slave and said: 'News reaches us here from time to time that slaves are mis-treated, but if you are anything to go by such rumours are untrue.' I didn't understand her and said: 'No, it's quite true, many slaves are subjected to dreadful abuse, lashed for little if any reason and sometimes killed.' But you seem to be prosperous, well dressed, able to read and write, travel to the Netherlands.' I answered indignantly: 'But I am not a slave!' No! she screeched. What are you then? You are black after all!' I was speechless. I looked at the woman and thought to myself: How can I explain such matters to an uninformed Dutch woman?

Mrs Reijdenius, the majority of black people in my country are indeed slaves, but I am not one of them. As circumstances would have it, my family was liberated from slavery and my mother had become a free woman before I was born,' I said 'Oh? Is that possible? I see. But you can't change the colour of your skin.

Don't people treat you like a slave?' No, I can't change the colour of my skin, and some people prefer to treat me like a slave for that reason. That is precisely why I'm here, I answered curtly, but the woman was unstoppable: 'Oh, so the majority of blacks are indeed slaves. But are the reports about mishandling and abuse genuine or mere gossip?' I lost my temper and barked: 'Slaves they may be, but do you know the reason why? Because white people, especially Hollanders, sail from Amsterdam to Africa where they buy negroes. They then transport them to the colonies where they set them to work on the plantations, like animals.'

• Elisabeth’s Diary : The Free Negress Elisabeth by Cynthia Mc Leod

.

.

The story of Elisabeth Samson, The free negress in Suriname was researched and compiled accordingly by Cynthia MC Leod. She went through so many Office of Public Records (OPR) and Old Archive of Suriname to get many references and fact checking on this prominent figure in Surinamese History. While i wondered why the author did not just write non fiction book after she has concluded her research, i am okay that the book was in a historical fiction genre. The author claimed that all characters written in this book were derived from real people in the history and her imagination did not overpowered what she intended to write about Elisabeth. That being said, the book was divided into 4 parts : The Court Case , Elisabeth’s Diary, Elisabeth Samson and Carl Otto Creutz, and The Wedding. The first part narrated how Elisabeth reconciled her identity as a free woman but a Negress nonetheless in Suriname Society. She was raised a Christian, learned how to write and read, has a black slaves that served her and she was adored by her sister(s) and brother in law who was a white man that took up a role of her father as she’s growing up. BUT this alone caused it to get to her head as Elisabeth perceived herself free and equal to her white counterparts, not many would have thought the same. Elisabeth were forced to exile to Holland when Mr. Van Meel claimed Elisabeth of making an offensive remarks towards the governer. The decision that has been set without fair judgment and bias panels were used purposely to put an example that no black people in the society despite being free should criticised white people and must be aware of their status as a second class citizens. The second part, we followed Elisabeth Samson’s journey to Holland. I have to admit that this is my favorite part out of the 4 parts because she is so unapologetically blunt towards an ignorant remarks that she got from dutch people she encountered whether in the parties that she attended or when she went to meet her lawyers to get her exile orders cancelled so that she can return to Suriname. She was resourceful, take no-nonsense and is not ashamed when she knew she had to be opportunist to get what she wanted. The third part, it summarized the life that Elisabeth has with Carl Otto Creutz. She forgo her dream of getting married to Carl , simply because its not possible. Carl is a white man and already married at that point so she settled by being his mistress. She immersed herself in the plantation business, prided herself as one of the benevolent slave masters in Suriname (if you feed them well and provided comfortable shelter, they will not run away) and owned many properties that acquired from her own inheritance. Being a business savvy, she always try to build connection and find any chances to expand and build her establishment. The only thing she got denied of is having her own kids. She tried with Carl several times but it was not meant to be. Last but not least is the Wedding chapter but she was not married to Carl. Carl died before that even happened. Elisabeth tried again the marriage prospect with another white man 20 years younger than her , Christoph Polycarpus Braband. Attracted with the promise that his debt will be cleared and possibility of getting inherited Elisabeth’s property once she died, Braband agreed. Multiple objection by the colonist law and several petitions were sent to object the inter marriage but eventually it did fail to materialize  simply because Braband died. To add salt to her wounds, the councillors of the church looked directly at her and said Man proposes, God Disposes. Elisabeth then married legally to Hermanus Daniel Zobre with the hope that she will be invited to the palace and attending other functions as now she is a wife to a white man, she’s a wealthy business woman and she owned several plantations only to find out that she was still being excluded. They invited her husband but not her. The day, she got invited she suffered stomach pain which at the end of the day become the cause of her death. All her properties were divided according to her will which her husband and her sister is the biggest inheritors, but long after she’s gone - research indicated that her wealth’s was now in white hands. Honestly, this book has been an intimate revelation,  heart wrenching and eye opening story about Elisabeth Samson - The Free Negress that lived in Suriname during 18th centuries. She was born free , she was never enslaved yet the treatment and discrimination that she encountered were still the same. She was part of the system that justifies slavery in Suriname and be with a man that hunted runaway slaves as a job yet she still treated those who were property a bit better than other slave owners. She survived her ordeals of being undermined, overlooked and outcasted but deep down still longed for an acceptance and inclusion of an upper society in Suriname. Her skills as business owner was validated but it was no use when they could not see past of her skin color. If this is in your TBR, you might want to bump it up to your next read.

Between Father and Son: Family Letters by V. S. Naipaul

emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

3.0

Do you know? I got some Trinidad papers, read them, and found them hilariously absurd. I never realised before that the Guardian was so badly written, that our Trinidad worthies were so absurd, that Trinidad is the most amusing island that ever dotted a sea. The English are a queer people. Take it from me. The longer you live in England, the more queer they appear. There is something so orderly, and yet so adventurous about them, so ruttish, so courageous. Take the chaps in the college. The world is crashing about their heads, about all our heads. Is their reaction as emotional as mine? Not a bit. They ignore it for the most part, drink, smoke, and imbibe shocking quantities of tea and coffee, read the newspapers and seem to forget what they have read.

• Letters between A Father and Son by VS Naipul

.

.

The book compiled all letters between VS Naipul and his father. Sometimes, there are exchanges responses made between him with his sister, Kamla and mother. I think this is first book i have read that exclusively featured past letters. Since this was supposed to be personal with unfiltered / uncensored content, I can’t help but felt both V.S Naipul and his father is such a snob. Oftentimes, some of these letters has so many misogynistic remarks about women in general or just how women behaviour is unacceptable or lacked class. I actually felt sorry for Kamla because i can see how she placed both her father and brother on pedestal and idolised them. Sure, the letter is supposed to be personal exchange and just like how sometimes men justified their locker room talk as it was supposed to be a secret, i can’t help but assumed people would say the same thing about these letters - that they are supposed to be kept between father and son. There are some genuine feelings and interactions in these letters - when they both encouraged each other to purse writings, motivating each other to keep persevering and even advising each other on how to resolve some issues - specifically about V.S Naipul’s siblings. I was surprised to see that they did chide Kamla’s bad behaviour in the letters but overlooked how V.S Naipul overspent and keep on mingling with foreign girls but i guess, what son did don’t really count does it? These letters also demonstrated how V.S Naipul always? looked down on others (especially if he find them lacking in intellect and couldn’t keep up with him) - its either something wrong with them or some statements just affirming his opinions specifically when he talked about West Indian. The fact his father can simply expressed his disdain towards Negroes and Muslims as few of their relatives were dating outside their community and religion was not surprising at all as we can see how it shaped VS Naipul thinking. I tried really hard to find redeemable qualities of this book. Aside from how well it was written, the close bond he has with his sister, Kamla and father - i honestly cant say much. Is it sad? absolutely. After all, this is how parents used to keep in touch with their kids abroad. Imagine that your son lives across the world as he further his study in Oxford, UK and the only communication you can have with him is via letters. These letters got delayed and sometimes months to be delivered to the right person. That’s when the date in the book were mentioned to show the timeline of it. Overall, if you minus some of the misogynistic and racist remarks, you might find this book incredibly moving and insightful. After all, some of the prose in the book can be touching and heartfelt especially when they discussed about literature and writers. Sure both of them are the product of their time - if we want to be fair 😒 but if you cannot tolerate these 2 things, you may skip this book. 

The Sound of Waves by Yukio Mishima

emotional tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.5

With a heart unaccustomed to doubting, he never wondered for an instant whether the girl would brave such a storm to keep their rendezvous. He knew nothing of that melancholy and all-too-effective way of passing time by magnifying and complicating his feelings, whether of happiness or uneasiness, through the exercise of imagination.

• Yukio Mishima, The Sound of Waves

.

.

3.5 stars - simply because the author has this weird obsession and fixation of women’s breasts. At first, i was okay with it considering its a love story so there will be some sexual attraction (hence the details of woman’s body etc) specifically between Shinjie and Hatsue. This is what young love supposed to be - exploring and experiencing those desires and lust for each other. BUT when we shifted from 135 - 141 which an entire chapter sort of dedicated it to how these women divers in the island compared their breasts and how over the years, it changed shapes and other innuendos that was inserted here and there - i was sort of taken aback by this. Call me prude if you want but what was the point of this chapter? That’s all i wanted to know. As for the whole plot, its a simple love story - An young boy fell in love with a new girl that just returned to the island. It’s a classic love story ‘He fell first but she fell harder’. They spent times together and decided that they couldn’t live without each other. Love story will not be complete without any complications so Chiyoko , Shinjie’s childhood friend saw both Shinjie and Hatsue having a romantic rendezvous.  Being insecure about her looks (which she always thought the reason why boys never like her) and fuelled by jealousy , she told Yasuo, another boy that also head over heels towards Hatsue about Shinjie & Hatsue’s relationship. Mind you, this is 1970s, whereby people talked, instigated rumours and in the small island like this, the gossips spread like a wildfire. Hatsue’s father forbids her from going outside and Shinjie descended into depression. He was no longer whom he used to be and her mother realised that this should not be going on any longer. Yukio Mishima subtly hinted on the class differences - Shinjie’s mother, a widow was being turned away and her attempt to get them married is futile. Overall, i have nothing against the plot. The young love, the intensity of wanting to fight for each other, the burning desire showed by Shinjie and Hatsue towards each other - i just dont want any random chapter of over sexualising women’s body part. That was unfathomable at least to me. I wont tell the ending as it will spoil my whole review. Read at your own risk if you have this book. 

Crazy River: Exploration and Folly in East Africa by Richard Grant

adventurous informative reflective medium-paced

3.0

Dale was right. It was a beautiful stretch of river. The Mala-garasi flowed along at a good clip, generating a few white-capped riffles where it ran over submerged rocks. On the west side of the river, where we were camped, there were scattered thorn-bushes, a few stunted trees, and the vast expanse of savannah grassland we had crossed in the vehicles. On the opposite bank there was an impressive gallery forest of sausage trees, fig trees, acacias, palms, and yellow fever trees. Before the link between mosquitoes and malaria was understood, European explorers suspected these trees, with their bilious looking yellow-green bark, of emitting the vapors that caused the disease. At sunset, a pod of hippos started up their low honking grunts. There were herons and storks and ornate geese in the air, and a magnificent fish eagle. A twelve-foot crocodile lay motionless in the river. It resembled a log almost exactly, except a log would have drifted downstream with the current, and the croc held its position with a little riffle of water flowing over its snout. This was the Africa I had fallen in love with: the riverside safari Africa of tents, boats, storytelling, campfires, incomparable birds and wildlife. But I hadn't understood so clearly then that its continued existence depended on armed game scouts willing to kill and be killed to foil the hungry appetites of a desperately poor and rapidly expanding population a million people were living in ninety villages within easy reach of all this grass and bush meat. 

• Chapter of Accidents - Crazy River : Exploration and Folly in East Africa by Richard Grant

.

.

When people put ‘crazy river’ on the title, you would have expected it to be everything about river that does not make any sense, poses a lot of danger and only a handful of experienced people knew how to navigate the area. At least thats what i am thinking of when i first saw the book. Unfortunately, the book started not really from the river, it took you to the beginning of the journey to see the river, a failed original plan and a series of observation and backhanded compliment of how Tanzania, Burundi even Rwanda should be (although this one is not necessarily came from the author but from people he met along the way). Not to mention , the reading gets a little bit uncomfortable that there’s a lot of prostitution mention in the book - which most of the times the chances of this meeting is because the author loves to go to the bars and lounges in these country. The word ‘Muzungu / Mazungu’ meant white people is being used whenever Africans encountered the author in the places that he visited. Some asked him money given the assumption that all white people are rich, some asked him to sponsor them and some outrightly tried to rob him. Once i passed 100 pages of this book which i felt i used to the way it was written, i actually preferred a large chunk of political and historical commentary and bits of fun facts that was put together in it.   The author revealed how much foreign Aid is being swindled by the politicians of these countries, the differences between China Foreign Investment in the East African compared to what US and European Countries has done and NGO’s tone deaf approaches in wanting to help the impoverished community but failed to understand the cultural differences and sense of thee people they wanted to help. The author pointed that tourism started to peak in some of the areas but most of the tourists don’t even have a single clue of the country’s they are visiting. Author did take advantage of his status being white man in these countries whereby the danger he encountered is minimal. He mingled with locals, stayed with them even and some even offered to show him around. This alone helped him to write about some of the community diets on cassava and sort of bbq style hippo meats. Author also highlighted some of the notorious bureaucracy practices from immigration up to the licences to visit some of the rivers - all needed a little bit ‘persuasion’. It can be money or local connection - whichever works at that time. That being said, Author remains impartial which i came to appreciate after finishing the book. Noting on the colonialism, the unequal distribution of foreign aids, the booming population and greeds, even the resourceful countries like Tanzania , Burundi and Rwanda fell behind to achieve the progress and growth at least by what the west determined. Overall, while i do want to learn about how magnificent Lake Tanganyika is, how vast Malagarasi River is and even find out the Source of Nile River that situated in Rwanda - the book didn’t really deliver (at least that’s how i felt). Nevertheless I am still grateful to learn a handful of things from this travelogue. 

The Mothers by Brit Bennett

challenging dark emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

We tried to love the world. We cleaned after this world, scrubbed its hospital floors and ironed its shirts, sweated in its kitchens and spooned school lunches, cared for its sick and nursed its babies. But the world didn't want us, so we left and gave our love to Upper Room. Now we're afraid of this world. A boy snatched Hattie's purse one night and now none of us go out after dark. We hardly go anywhere at all, besides Upper Room. We've seen what this world has to offer. We're scared of what it wants.

• Brit Bennett, The Mothers

.

The story of losing loved ones and irreparable grief. The story of loyalty and infidelity and everything in between. The story of cheating and being cheated on. The story of boys will be boys but girls are expected to answer for boys bad behaviour. The story of hypocrisy in religion where they preach abortion is killing until it is done by one of their kins. The story of motherhood - one who tried, one who left and one who craved male validation so much that she ignored her own child. This book is such an emotional roller coaster ride and i wish i could truly be done at the page 207. Let me rant for a while and please bear with me : I was livid. What are you doing, Nadia Turner? I was rooting for you. You escaped your hometown. You already one step away to achieve your dream to become a lawyer. Why would you let the past tempted you? I dont know whether it is out of sadness because your dad is involved in the accided, pettiness because mrs Sheppard warned you to not take what is not yours or jealousy because Aubrey got the transformed , responsible and mature Luke Sheppard but here we are at the crossover , you let Luke Sheppard cheated on Aubrey - your own best friend with you. Considering the history you shared together with Luke Sheppard, one might understand why it occurred but its hard not to judge the stupid things people do at the spur of the moment. The aftermath after that slip up, we will see people get hurt in the process, trust was broken and some relationship is beyond mending. The book ended with a girl was born out of the loveless relationship, a father that finally knew her daughter’s past mistake and a sin committed by both pastor and his wife. I actually enjoyed the monologue between pages of those aunties in the community. I felt it gave the story its root to hold onto as the author shaped how they see Nadia, Luke and Aubrey over the course of years. Overall, a poignant and visceral read! 

It's Not About the Burqa by Mariam Khan

challenging emotional hopeful informative reflective tense medium-paced

4.0

“Hijab has served me well. At times, it has covered my scars, allowing me to wear long-sleeved tops without anyone questioning what was hidden underneath. Other times, it has served to cover my earphones while I avoided listening to teachers drone on in class. Sometimes, very rarely, it has kept my head warm during cold winters. My hijab gave me a way to act, a code of conduct: smile courteously at strangers, open doors for people, help the elderly carry their shopping, and politely decline drugs/alcohol/male interaction as they are ‘not allowed in Islam’. My hijab was my armour, something for me to fiddle with when people asked me uncomfortable questions. It would allow me to look down and cover the acne growing on my forehead when someone attractive walked by. At times when I was tired or frustrated, I would untie and retie my hijab. Now, I do so with my hair. It’s not the same.”

• “Hijabi (R)evolution” by Afshan D’souza-Lodhi : It's Not About the Burqa by Mariam Khan

.

‘Its not about the Burqa’ challenged readers , both muslims and non-muslims to stop viewing  Muslim Women in the Monolith lens. You cannot painted us all the same based on what western media have done by labelling us as submissive and do not want to progress. 17 essays ranges from variety of issues that affecting and implicating muslim women directly or indirectly were compiled in the book.  While i may not agree with some of the remarks by some authors in this book but as a whole compilation, this is pretty solid and groundbreaking analysis. There are 2 essays that talked about commodification of Hijab and how westerners integrated it as high fashion but at the same time, forcing muslim women to accept this as part (of what i can called a lukewarm attempt) of representation is insanely good. I honestly learned a-lot and was surprised that i didn’t even catch that nuances in the first place. Many of the Hijabi Models were being corporatised in order to manipulate the muslim consumers. There is one essay that talked about mental health in the Muslim community and how those who have it were always being questioned and shamed for not practicing their faith properly. They undermined the pain of those who’ve it and failed to demonstrate their role as part of the ummah is to help their brothers and sisters in need. Another essay that mentioned about divorce in Islam and how the stigma followed the divorcee. The author further analysed how many muslim women were being brainwashed by their rigid culture of staying in unhappy marriage rather than seeking divorce despite Islam has made it clear that women can ask for it if the marriage is not working out. The only misleading thing i encountered about this book is it didn’t mentioned that the essays are mostly from Muslim Women in UK and if i’m not mistaken, only one writer from Australia. Being in the UK, most muslim women were from South Asian Countries - Pakistan and India. Sure , the book did have more than 1 writer to from African and Middle eastern countries but the experience on these essays largely from South Asian Households which religion and culture were woven intricately but often, culture preceded first. I appreciate some of the honesty by some of these writers - some were quite vocal in defending their faith, some made a mockery out of their haters and trolls, some simply were asking for re-education and adopting solutions that fits best with Britain Society. I also applaud that the editor try to diversify these essays from different authors based on how they reflect their relationship with Islam - whether they are devout , struggling to hold on to their faith or boldly admitted they are not practicing but still carrying on the muslim identity.  As for the title - i actually a bit disappointed there’s no essay that carrying the main title but why it was named ‘Its not about the Burqa’ is just a clever hand back to the most of the western medias that always centralised their arguments on muslim women rights and privileges to their attire / hijab or Burqa which is oppressive and backward for them. Overall, this has been enlightening journey  in understanding how muslim women in UK navigating their space in the society while remain unapologetically about their faith and modesty.