Yellow Sky Revolt is an action packed adventure following the life of Liao Hua, a historical warrior during Three Kingdoms China whom we know little about. Being historical fiction there are events and characters that must appear and Baptiste Pinson Wu does a brilliant job of weaving history and fiction together to create an exhilarating romp through ancient China, regardless of reader familiarity.

Plot Summary

This is a rundown of Liao Hua (Dun/Chun), I’ve missed out a number of characters.

Yellow Sky Revolt follows Liao Hua during the Yellow Turban Rebellion and the beginning of the Tyranny of Dong Zhuo. The prologue sets the scene, Liao Hua is an old man and has seen his Kingdom, Shu-Han, fall to the might of Wei near the end of this turbulent period of Chinese history. He has been summoned to the Wei capital and asked by the victorious general Zhong Hui if he would write down the history of Shu-Han. Chen Shou is assigned as Hua’s scribe, a young man, idealistic and born into comfort, a comfort built by Liao Hua and his many, many dead friends and heroes. Hua is bitter at Liu Bei’s son, Liu Chan “that piss poor example of a son,”having lost the war. He is bitter at Chen Shou for being young and soft handed, unused to the hardship his predecessors, Liao Hua’s friends, had to suffer to build Shu-Han. He is bitter he has to ride in a carriage rather than on a horse, even at 83. But he agreed to tell his story, rather than slit his own throat, and so he begins with his childhood and becoming involved in the Yellow Turban Rebellion.

Liao Hua, named Liao Dun as a child (I will discuss naming and other cultural factors later on), is a boy of 6. His father is a farmer, a mild mannered and, in Dun’s eyes, weak man and his sister is a baby. Dun’s hero is his Uncle Cheng, an Adept of the Way - a healer and travelling warrior - spreading the word of the Great Peace founded by Zhang Jue. Cheng Yuanzhi visits Dun’s village of Fa Jia Po every few months and Dun looks forward to it every time. A boy obsessed with fighting and battles and martial prowess while the adults around him try, and fail, to temper his martial instincts.

Liao Dun travels with his Uncle Cheng to the massive city of Xiangyang on the pretext of selling the family’s crop there will fetch a higher price. While there they witness the execution of a fellow Adept of Cheng Yuanzhi’s, He Luo, who screams, “Death to the blue sky,’ before the executioner botches the job. When He Luo’s head is held up the crowd respond with silence, not adulation, and the Yellow Turban uprising is all but guaranteed. Dun, being a child, pisses himself and faints later waking on the back of his empty cart. Cheng returns with fresh clothes dyed yellow and with a long length of yellow fabric which Dun ties round his waist. The pair travel back to Fa Jia Po and Dun promises not to tell his father of the execution until Cheng has left town.

Dun shares the story of He Luo’s death and while his father is angry at Cheng the story spreads and gains a life of its own. Soon the whole commandery knows of the injustice. Months go by before Cheng returns and when he does the rebellion has begun. He is being chased by Han soldiers of the local militia and tells the villagers of Fa Jia Po to get rid of their yellow “belts” and to hit him and tie him up to make it look like they are loyal to the Emperor. The soldiers arrive, arrest Cheng, and leave but Dun and others think this an injustice. They retie their belts, find what few weapons they have, mainly farming tools, and plan an ambush on the soldiers to free Cheng. The plan works with minimal losses and Cheng is at first angry but thanks them all the same. He tells them the yellow cloths aren’t belts but turbans, meant to be tied around the head. The villagers can’t return to Fa Jia Po and Cheng offers to lead them to the city of Wan to join up with the Grand Adept Zhang Mancheng who is leading the revolt across the nearby commanderys and provinces. And so, at age 8, Liao Dun marches to war…

Worldbuilding

Ancient China is a historical period rife with potential and little known in the west, save through games like Dynasty Warriors and Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Baptiste Pinson Wu has given life to the Three Kingdom’s period by including a wealth of foreign and ancient culture to craft the world of 2nd century China.

To start with, names, surnames are first, given names second. But we also have childhood and adulthood names. Liao Dun becomes Liao Hua once he reaches adulthood, which is not in this first of a, hopefully, many book series. Within the nobility, moneyed, and courtly classes there are courtesy names. Cao Cao’s is Mengde. It is rude for someone his age or younger to use his given name, Cao, rather than his courtesy name, Mengde. A man older than Cao Cao may get away with using his given name but it depends. Furthermore, it would also be rude to call an adult, Cao Cao, by his childhood name, Cao Anmin, though this has not yet come up in the story. Those familiar will be glad to have this included and those unfamiliar do not worry Baptiste Pinson Wu has pulled off the naming conventions very well. It is clear who is who and the reader will be able to follow along without issue as BPW has limited the use of courtesy names only to prominent characters.

BPW has chosen to include Chinese measurements too, so cun, li, shi, and others appear. Usually these are applied in the lightest way, word changes, cun instead of inch, li instead of mile (which is 1/3 of a mile), and shi instead of hour (which is actually 2 hours). These changes help the worldbuilding and storytelling while posing no issue for the reader’s understanding.

Other terms are included, such as zuoyi, liangguan, dao, and jian but again are utilised in a way that doesn’t impact understanding while adding to the worldbuilding. When the reader needs a little extra information BPW will include it, for instance for a zuoyi which is a military salute were one’s fist sits inside an open hand around chest level. These things are explained and the exposition flows as you experience the world through Liao Hua’s memory of his life. Later in the story we are treated to the most important of arts, poetry, and its companion, calligraphy even being shown how different styles of calligraphy will be important in later books. These are all impactful to the story, character development, and plot and helps craft a rich and vibrant view of ancient China.

Being a historic period there are events that have to happen, happened a certain way, people who existed, and some who didn’t. BPW has included some of the romanticised events, and characters, from Luo Guanzhong’s legendary Romance of the Three Kingdoms rather than the more factual Records of the Three Kingdoms. Though both have errors. Historically speaking Romance has been absorbed into Chinese culture to the point where veering from the novelised events is often frowned upon. Those familiar with Dynasty Warriors will be familiar with Romance as well and find great enjoyment in Yellow Sky Revolt. It is also clear BPW has done a wealth of research on the history and culture of China and taken the pains to get things as accurate as possible while maintaining creative flexibility. BPW has weaved together his fiction, with Romance, and Records with impressive elegance. I especially enjoyed Liao Hua’s first encounter with Guan Yu and the subsequent encounter at the end that weaved his own ideas with Luo Guanzhong’s.

Characters

From the moment I met Liao Hua I liked him. He’s a grumpy old man detesting the youth that lost the Kingdom he helped build and called home. Furious that the young man, Chen Shou (the writer of Records of the Three Kingdoms) is happy there is peace rather than angry his now former-Emperor’s dream is dead. Hua was much the same as a child, fiery and eager for excitement. We follow Liao Dun on his journey from a 6 year old son of a farmer to an 8 year old Yellow Turban in revolt against an Empire and all the way up to thirteen as a messenger for Cao Cao and more during the Loyal Rebels attempt at removing the tyrant Dong Zhuo from power. For a child Dun is not passive and while events unfold around him it certainly feels like Dun plays a part in moving the story along and the older he gets the more he drives events.

Uncle Cheng Yuanzhi and Uncle Deng Mao, uncle being an honorific and not necessarily to do with blood, are affable, healers and warriors of the Way of Great Peace. It is easy to understand why a fiery child such as Dun who longs for battle and fighting would look up to this pair of skilled warriors who are free to roam the land doing what they are called to. Both care for the boy and teach him basic fighting, horse riding, and more mostly out of necessity. The land is dangerous and chaos is coming.

Zhang Jue is a master of illusion. Hiding his own calamitous health from almost all his followers, excluding his brothers and the high ranking Adepts. His way of healing is also a mirage. There is no magic, though it is claimed there is, but understand it is about confession. A person’s ill health is often caused by a build up of guilt and admittance of this guilt can cure the individual. Uncle Cheng admits this late in the rebellion and Dun is amazed and hurt by the revelation. But he undergoes the healing with Uncle Deng and attests to it’s power first hand. A grand leader, an expert in people, Zhang Jue builds the Yellow Turbans, during his one on-page appearance, to a religious frenzy all with help of Liao Dun.

After the Yellow Turbans are crushed we are treated to a who’s who of Three Kingdoms heroes and villains. Dong Zhuo, Liu Bei, Cao Cao, Xiahou Dun, and many officers in Cao Cao’s forces which will be well known to fans of Dynasty Warriors and Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Many follow an expected portrayal with slight warping from the story being told from the point of view of an old man remembering his childhood. This difference helps set Yellow Sky Revolt as a distinct work while also flowing with the point of view of the book. I found Xiahou Dun to be the biggest difference to how he is usually portrayed.

Cao Cao, as always, lives up to his moniker - the Hero of Chaos. A cunning and perceptive man capable of war, leadership, poetry, and strategy. Careful and at times machiavellian he sees the world for what it is and holds considerable ambition for himself and by extension those around him expecting only the best from those he deems trustworthy enough to serve him. Though an off line of dialogue about not being able to house another orphan of war because “my wife will kill me,’ struck me as un-Cao Cao-esk. The wife in question, Lady Ding, did poison Cao’s concubine who birthed his eldest son, and heir, Cao Ang, so perhaps the fear is justified, while Lady Ding has been unable to birth any children.

Xiahou Dun is a strict task master, firm with the rules and law, free with the cane, and straightforward to the point of boring in Liao Dun’s eyes. An expert at military logistics and prickly around honour. Cao Cao sends Liao Dun to Xiahou Dun’s household instead of his own. Liao Dun becomes Liao Chun by Xiahou Dun’s request and Cao Cao’s order. Chun is poor at serving around the Xiahou household and the general’s wife sends him to work in the stables where the boy excels under the tutelage of old Xin Ping. A lazy, knowledgeable, one handed stable hand who teaches Chun a great deal about caring for horses. At every point Chun is learning the skills he needs to survive in war torn land and at every point it is enjoyable to read.

Writing

The story is written from the first person perspective which meshes well with the setup of Liao Hua telling Chen Shou about his life. The prologue sets the expectation for style brilliantly. Because the reader knows Liao Hua is in his eighties and is telling someone else the story it allows for little oddities in the writing, such words like ‘equitation’, ‘homonymous’ or ‘disapprobation’ appearing in childhood chapters. Or times when the telling outweighs the showing, which isn’t often nor does it slow the pace but it does happen. The style itself is rather plain and to the point, which is fine and fits the character, a man who was illiterate until his teens and prefers the saddle and sword to the cushion and brush. Although, personally, I prefer to read Guy Gavriel Kay-esk stained glass window prose to Brandon Sanderson’s clear pane approach.

The book spans 7 years and some of those years pass by in mere pages while others unfold over hundreds. BPW has accomplished a difficult task in maintaining a fast paced story without the exposition of skipped years impacting the ebb and flow.

There is only one sentence that left me disappointed and it is one that seems to be haunting my reading. ‘“She’s ready,” I replied. And ready she was.’ (P365 of the paperback). Why oh why does this turn of phrase keep appearing in books I’m reading. First it was Chuck Wendig’s terrible Star Wars Aftermath then it was R.S. Penney’s Bounty Hunter (review here) and now in Yellow Sky Revolt. It is an awful sentence and I really wish writers would kill it. There is no need to show me something through dialogue and repeat it through telling. No need. See, I don’t need that separate ‘no need,’ and while some will argue it adds emphasis the style ‘something happens. And happen it did’ is weak.

There are cool turns of phrase and clever metaphors dotted through the story such as, ‘Never use a hare to do a tiger’s job,’ and ‘Long as a day without water.’ These little flourishes do aid the writing, characterisation, and world building when they crop up and it is a testament to BPW that he understands who, when, and where he is writing. And this skill to weave fiction and history together is really where the book shines. Liao Hua is made to connect with all the major players without it feeling forced. The plot is character driven while also being well grounded in the history and it’s an impressive feat of writing.

4.5/5

Well written, well researched, and all round excellent introduction to what promises to be a fantastic series. A cast of characters that has you feeling and rooting for them to succeed even when you know they are doomed. Must read for fans of Dynasty Warriors and hearty recommendation to anyone looking to explore a truly incredible period of Chinese history. Also for fans of action packed adventures.

Desa Kincaid: Bounty Hunter by R.S. Penney, Gregg Chambers

Go to review page

adventurous fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Loveable characters? No

2.5

Review of Bounty Hunter (Desa Kincaid #1) by R. S. Penney

Book kindly provided by the author.

*Full Story Spoilers Ahead*

Bounty Hunter is a fast paced adventure-romance story set in a fantasy-western world featuring strong world building and a character driven plot. Readers would benefit from a strong imagination as the writing does not always do the world of Eradia justice.

Plot Summary

Desa Kincaid, bounty hunter and Field Binder of Aladar, estranged from her homeland and in pursuit of two men, Bendarian and Morley. Bendarian's deadly experiments left many dead and wounded. Desa has been pursuing him for a decade yet he somehow manages to always evade her. Morley is responsible for the death of Desa’s husband, Martin, a man she married but did not love romantically as she prefers the company of women.

We meet Desa approaching the village of Sorla where Morley was last seen. He is long gone but the Ether reveals he was there. She is attacked by a local brute who she later has to be beat up with the aid of her Field Binding; magic. She drags him to the sheriff’s office while he screams of witchcraft and evil. Desa lies to the sheriff and to the brute’s misfortune he is a known trouble maker who the sheriff is all too happy to lock up. In the jail house we meet our first two companions, Tommy and Sebastian, imprisoned for breaking the Almighty’s law that men do not sleep with other men. Tommy is destined for the hangman’s noose while his lover Sebastian chose slavery. Desa cannot help herself and demands they are freed as it is no crime in Aladar, a name that brings more trouble than it’s worth outside its walls. The sheriff and deputy disagree and another fight occurs. Desa beats the two men handedly, with help of magic, and frees Tommy and Sebastian, then fleeing south in pursuit of Morley.

They arrive in a Glad Meadows and come across a woman named Miri who teases Tommy but soon the group are followed by Lenny and others from Sorla. A fight with gravity magic, thanks to Desa, plays out and her and Tommy escape. Sebastian chooses to stay behind due to his distrust of the witch. He soon reappears along with Miri who followed Desa out of Glad Meadows and into the forest. The four travel, uncomfortably, together on the road to Ofalla; a large city. We are introduced to Marcus, a by the book Field Binder tasked with arresting Desa for her brazen acts that risk war between Aladar and the surrounding lands. A war that when last fought almost brought ruin to the Field Binders fabled city.

Close to Ofalla Desa and company discover a strange grey wasteland. A farmhouse stands, the grass is grown, but all is grey. She investigates the house, finds everything inside is grey from bullets to chairs to shoes, and leaves - taking the bullets. The family appear from behind the building, grey and ashen, unable to speak and behaving like beasts. Desa is attacked and finds that nothing effects the greymen save a bullet to the head. Sebastian pulls the trigger first and Desa is furious but that is unexplained and I assume it was some hope of saving the people from their malady. When Desa is about to slay the last of them it speaks with an unnatural voice that sounds like an amalgamation of many. Talking as if it not of the world it leaves and the last of the greymen collapse dead.

The party reaches Ofalla and Marcus confronts Desa and takes her to speak with the Synod, leaders of Aladar, via radio. Technology that is witchcraft to the ‘primitives.’ Desa is commanded to return. She refuses and has a short fight with Marcus as she flees the bank he stashed the radio in. Out in the street, however, she finds Morley wielding a seemingly unlimited supply of Ether. Marcus and Desa fight Morley as long as they can but he cannot die and instead they choose to flee leaving destruction in their wake. At the hotel they are staying at Desa discovers she cannot infuse the bullets she looted from the farmhouse, the Ether does not touch them. It is unclear what this means.

Adele, a mysterious aristocrat of Ofalla and Sensitive (someone who can see into the Ether with ease) comes to Desa with Bendarian’s address. Her uncle is the mayor and the two write to each other often. Sebastian, after arguing with Tommy, and finding Bendarian’s address betrays the group. Miri follows him and returns with the unfortunate news.

Desa and Marcus plan an assault on Bendarian’s house. Marcus lures Morley away while Desa goes inside. Desa kills Sebastian and a long fight breaks out with Bendarian. He reveals his and Morley’s endless power comes from the Nether, the antithesis of the Ether, chaotic energy that feeds on emotion and can rewrite the laws of nature. Something happens and this power ages Bendarian decades in seconds. Chaos cannot be controlled. A voice speaks to him from the beyond demanding to be freed. He teleports to escape Desa.

Desa and company track Bendarian using an infused knife that Desa impaled him with and he kept while Adele can pinpoint his location too. Desa keeps her knowledge secret and distrusts Adele finding her power too convenient. After days of travelling they reach the Gatharan Desert. Desa pursues Bendarian alone into the desert and reaches a mysterious ancient city with crystals that exude Ether. Bendarian is there, his form now taking on serpentine qualities, well on his way on ushering in whatever he found in the Nether. Morley is missing having been killed by Bendarian for his life force. Bendarian is ‘killed’ a number of times but the Nether sustains him. The two fight and are interrupted by Adele who shoots Bendarian and then attempts to destroy the crystal. She fails but succeeds in her own aim; to release the being of the Nether into herself. Bendarian is distraught, and powerless now his master is free, but still he cannot die as Adele will not allow it. She has vast control over reality. Desa attempts to kill her but Adele warns her not too and halts bullets in midair without any infused objects. She leaves to convert people to worship her. Desa finds the others and is dejected in her failure. In fact everything is worse.

Desa, Miri, Tommy, and Marcus travel to Dry Gulch, the town on the other side of the Gatharan Desert where Adele meets them. She isn’t really Adele anymore and refers to herself as the Weaver, sibling of Mercy and Vengeance, the goddess of creation Desa introduced early on as responsible for the Ether. The Weaver teleports Desa et al to Aladar where they are promptly arrested for high treason.

I have not mentioned the romance plots which are present for each of the main characters. These are forefront for parts of the book and fall away for other parts. For Tommy and Adele it is a major part of their chapters as it is for Miri later on. Desa tries her hardest to ignore her own romantic entanglements but fails spectacularly. Around 35-40% of the time the book reads like a romance first and fantasy-western second, though the romance is tied to the main plot in a couple of major ways.

Worldbuilding

Aladar, city of Field Binders, advanced technology, and closed off from the rest of the Eradian continent. An enclave of knowledgeable and snobbish people unwilling to share with the ‘primitives’ beyond their walls. A war was fought between the ‘primitives’ and the Aladri in which Aladar almost fell, hence the resentment. While revolvers and similar weaponry are common in Eradia, electricity is none existent and pack animals are still the primary means of transport. Conversely in Aladar there are radios, electricity, control over gravity and light, and much more thanks to Field Binding. A magic Desa and Marcus insist is merely technology but requires the use of Ether, a mysterious invisible energy force present in all things left over from creation by the goddesses Mercy and Vengeance, or so it is believed by the Aladri. The rest of the Eradian continent worship the Almighty, a god of strict laws and customs which the Aladri routinely ignore, break, and disrespect.

Field Binding is an odd magic system, well thought out and precise in its application similar to a Brandon Sanderson magic system, but its source and whether it is magic at all is contentious for the characters, and maybe for some readers who want clearer information. It begins as technology were infusing objects with different types of Ether generates an effect. A ring can be made to glow as a Light Source or create a bubble of darkness as Light Sink. A belt can be made to alter gravity’s pull as a Gravity Sink or Source to create the effect for the user of incredible leaps over buildings or faux-flight. There is control over heat and electricity too. This is all solidly written and makes for some excellent fight scenes and clever solutions to the problems faced. The source of the magic begins as technology, infusing objects with Ether, then shifts into a residue of creation - thus miracles or divine magic - and then into something else defined by its opposite, the Nether. A mysterious sort of divine power fuelled by emotion while the Ether is reached through meditation and serenity. This does add to the world and character building as we see even the Aladri are fallible and mistaken as to the nature of the world despite their advanced “technology.”

The Eradian continent is a vast landscape with various biomes. Desa starts her journey in small villages and forests but is soon in farmlands and the city of Ofalla where after a brief stay they head off into drylands crossing rivers to reach scrublands and finally the Gatharan Desert, a red and dusty place. The world is populated by a stiff and proper people, by farmers and aristocrats, by bankers and ruffians, by merchants and thieves. Yet as much as the world is believable and full at times it also feels empty and solely revolving around our heroes at others (and that’s before it is in fact empty in the desert). I enjoyed my time in Eradia as fantasy-western is an unusual combination that should be utilised by more authors but the depth of the world shown was too shallow and lacking richness. At times the characters observations seem either out of place, contrived, or so message laden as to break the immersion:

‘Desa resisted the urge to make a comment about men and their seemingly endless need to command respect through the construction of large, obtrusive monuments to their power. Only a money lender would choose to imbue a place of commerce with religious significance.’ (Chapter 10, p175 in my pdf copy with 500 pages.)

Yes it would be a bank that was made to look like a church, I agree Desa, only a money lender could be so crass but I am more interested in the sentence before. Does Desa honestly believe ornate, imposing buildings are merely ‘obtrusive’ and built only for men to show off? I don’t know, seems at odd view for someone from a grand and advanced city like Aladar. This may explain the lack of richness in the descriptions of the world; character doesn’t care so we don’t see it but that seems like a missed opportunity to world build for the reader. Yet there are multiple points of view of the world that read only a little differently. Many things are described as ‘grey’ even though that colour becomes important to the story later on. Other descriptions read more like a manual than a novel.

The fascinating and inviting world is there but if only it were shown in greater depth. More colour and grandiosity would go a long way to building the world of Eradia. What we are shown is necessary but not sufficient.

Throughout there are inconsistencies in names. An inn called ‘MacGregor’s’ on one page becomes ‘McGregor’s’ on the next and this sort of mistake repeats later when an inn referred to as ‘The Wagon Wheel’ becomes ‘Wheel and Wagon’ only later to revert to ‘The Wagon Wheel’ all within 20 pages. A third time is with the Molarin Mountains, far beyond the Gatharan Desert, or is it Molaran Mountains? I assume these are the same place but the inconsistency leaves me questioning. Not only that but I then wonder if I’ve missed others and whether R. S. Penney has done his due diligence in crafting his own world. Yes typos are inevitable, I’m sure I have some in this review that I haven’t caught, but ‘The Wagon Wheel’ to ‘Wheel and Wagon’ and back to ‘The Wagon Wheel’ is more than a typo, it suggests carelessness and I am sure that is not what Penney wants to show.

Characters

The characters are hard to like, or dislike for that matter. Which is fine, I don’t mind reading the exploits of arseholes. Hell pretty much every Red Rising character is an arsehole and I think that series has exceptional characters. In Bounty Hunter, however, there is something missing that makes them not quite arseholes but also not lovable. Exciting things are happening yet it can feel dull, an odd combination. Tommy is the most relatable, as he has no idea what’s going on most of the time like the reader, and Adele is the sweetest, until she isn’t and that’s a great ending for her, while Miri is inoffensive. The rest are fine, I guess. I have no strong feelings either way which isn’t a great result.

Desa enters the story a foreigner in a strange land. The land is the village of Sorla, an Almighty-fearing village with a dislike for witches and queer folk. Understandable, a warlock, by the name of Morley, recently passed through and by McGregor of McGregor’s account he was most unpleasant. Now a bounty hunter passes through wielding magic and faking her accent. I can see why the town is fearful and wants her to move on. She runs into Ducane, the town bully, and makes a mockery of his bravado by beating him senseless with magic. Doing what a good citizen would do she drags him off to the sheriff. All well and good. Ducane accuses her of witchcraft to which Desa lies that she isn’t a witch. A prudent measure that she renegades on moments later.

Desa sees Tommy and Sebastian in a cell and Sebastian has a slave brand on his cheek, his choice instead of the gallows that Tommy has chosen. The pair were caught sleeping with one another, a crime punishable by death. Extreme but that’s their law. Desa then orders Lenny and the sheriff to release them ‘On the authority of Desa nin Leean, Prime Field Binder of Aladar,’ and offers to take them away to Aladar, a place she hasn’t been for 11 years, to live in peace. What exactly did she expect to happen? Does she have authority outside of Aladar? No. It is well established Aladar is sealed shut and few venture out and those who do must blend in and live secretly. Okay then it’s a threat, not an order. Yet all that accomplishes is revealing she’s a witch, a fact she was trying to keep secret a few sentences ago. This is not the last time a Field Binder announces themselves as if the title carries weight. Desa does it and Marcus does it later on much further away from Aladar too. Sure it’s a “cool” line, or cringe depending on your tastes, but it is incredibly stupid to attract such unwanted attention when they know the folk don’t like witches and that Aladar was almost destroyed in a war with these ‘primitives’; a word Marcus and Desa use to describe the less technological showing their disdain for them.

Back to the jail house. We learn Tommy is Lenny’s brother and while Lenny doesn’t want to see his brother die the law’s the law and it comes from the Almighty. In another act that questions her wandering the lands for 11 years without attracting a mob the size of an army she says ‘Not everyone believes in your Almighty, sirs.’ Is she trying to be inconspicuous or not? When in Rome do as the Romans is a lesson Desa never learned and at this point I’m left wondering if she has spent the last 11 years freeing criminals and attempting to convert the populace of these small villages rather than live her life amongst them as a bounty hunter. Her threat and declaration predictably brings the sheriff’s wrath rather than obedience. Witchcraft is also a crime. A small fight ensues and Desa beats them up and forces Lenny to free Tommy and his lover, Sebastian. At first neither follows her and she worries about the enemies she has made all ‘to save a pair of primitive boys who were so inculcated with this backward little culture.’ I’m not sure why I should be enamoured by our would-be hero. Is it because I should take real life with me into this fictional world? That’s not how I read fiction. A fictional world operates separately from our own and it and its characters should be judged accordingly. Desa is close to villainous. She has taken pains not to kill anyone but she has lied, threatened, and attacked frightened and innocent people doing their jobs and enforcing their own laws. From the point of view of Lenny, a stand-up deputy sorrowful his brother broke the law, she is a villain.

Desa could be fighting evil in this encounter, and given the penalty for their crime of sleeping together is death or slavery, it is possible. The punishment is extreme even within the world of Eradia and Desa attacking these people is necessary to prevent that. By doing so, however, she is risking war between the ‘primitives’ and Aladar as well as ignoring the authority of the Synod, the leadership of Aladar. Desa is a self-righteous character and written like a power fantasy for the reader. Smiting bad guys and enforcing her truth on them. This sentiment extends to her own allies too, especially Marcus. If that appeals, then you will enjoy the book. I found that this first major scene where I, as the reader, were expected to carry a real world judgement into a fictional world jarring and soured me to Desa and the book in general. But even excluding that Desa does not follow her own advice. Later on she criticises Marcus for wanting to fight through a town, Fool’s Edge, that is rallying against them, to the point of shooting at our heroes, saying ‘You think we should attack frightened people? If we did that would we be any better than Bendarian.’ Now I would like to think this is character development but I’m sceptical. She attacks frightened people in Sorla and in the next village Glad Meadows (most of whom are unarmed in Glad Meadows) so she can escape. We learn from the people of Fool’s Edge that Bendarian killed three and threatened to kill more unless they refused Desa and her gang passage. Desa is right, to attack Fool’s Edge as Marcus suggests would be villainous and make them no better than Bendarian. If that is the case how does she square that with attacking Sheriff Cromwell and Deputy Lenny in Sorla and the townspeople of Glad Meadows? She didn’t kill anyone, true, but she did injure, in her fleeing from the law. We don’t know how Fool’s Edge approached Bendarian but given he looked more demonic than human we can gather it was poorly and Bendarian reacted in kind. Penney goes to pains to make Desa beating up Ducane reasonable and then again with Cromwell and Lenny only I’m not convinced by the second one. She insults their god, disrespects their laws, threatens them, and attacks them. Even discounting why she threatens and attacks them she is an unpleasant woman and given her position likely to cause more problems than she’s solving. It seems there is an undercurrent of “might makes right” to Desa’s actions but the world of Eradia does not agree, nor even her own home of Aladar as she is arrested for high treason at the end of the book.

But perhaps I look too deep into a story that isn’t intended for such interrogation. It is possible and all the questions of what is heroic action and what is a hero are for an essay all of its own. After all in stories of man vs. man each is the hero in their own eyes and the other the villain. Desa is certainly the heroine when compared to Bendarian.

Oh, Bendarian. The man who is first described as having ‘killed 6 people and injured several others,’ in chapter 1, due to his experiments and escaping Aladar but is later made doubly evil by being described as having killed 13 in Chapter 7 via the same experiments. More inconsistency that makes me question the care and effort taken with the story. Anyway, Bendarian begins life as this shadowy evil scientist figure attempting to infuse Ether into people, an impossible and deadly aim. He kills 6, or 13 people, via his experiments and then flees when the authorities of Aladar attempt to arrest him. He does not cease experimentation in the 11 years that follow and is responsible for far more deaths by the end of the story. At some point he discovers the Nether, a power of emotion and chaos that allows the alteration of the laws of nature. Unlike the Ether which is a power of serenity working within the bounds of the laws of nature. Desa finds Bendarian in Ofalla and we are treated to a description of fine man reminiscent of Setzer from Final Fantasy VI unfortunately his image diminishes from there and what we get is an over-explainer with excessive hubris sort of villain who thinks himself far smarter than he is. But I do enjoy the evil scientist trope, or in this case evil warlock, as it demonstrates that knowledge itself is neither good nor bad and that it’s use and interpretation makes it one or the other. While it is a tired trope, and in this case overly exaggerated for my taste, Bendarian is an okay villain.

Bendarian is also cursed by writing inconsistency, at one point he is ‘Benwoth’ and another ‘Benwrth.’ I assume, dangerous I know, that his name changed between drafts from Benwroth to Bendarian and these two typos weren’t found with the find function.

Tommy, Sebastian, and Miri’s character arcs are mostly centred on their love triangle. I don’t typically read romance and have little to comment on how well it was executed or not. I found it be believable and Sebastian’s struggle with trusting Desa is well explored. Tommy can come across as self-pitying and pathetic at times but he does surprise the reader on occasion with a sudden burst of confidence. His curiosity of Field Binding and of Desa in general also makes him easy for the reader to root for. Miri is a Ka’adri, an Aladri spy of sorts, tracking Desa with her brother Marcus, a Field Binder, and her role starts as Desa’s stalker, then annoying companion, followed by Tommy’s love interest.

Marcus is a by the book servant of Aladar convinced of Desa’s cause only after he witnesses the devastation Morley imparts on Ofalla. Stubborn, with a will of iron, and a keen sense of justice taking duty far more seriously than any of the others. He is a knight in a world of thieves. Though he is quick to anger having spent much time out of Aladar, amongst the ‘primitives’ and longs to be home.

Adele, the niece of the Mayor of Ofalla, is an aristocrat and Sensitive and hopelessly in love with Desa who she has been stalking through the Ether. Being a Sensitive allows her to locate anyone and anything in the world with a quick and simple meditation. Something Desa is adept at yet takes her minutes and her range is merely a few hundred feet. She provides the address of Bendarian and is irreverent when the group do not trust. Her and Desa become intimate yet she is still not truly trusted until she locates Bendarian, after he has fled — again. Her ditzy, desperate to be a part of something character is enjoyable to read as is her naive optimism within a group of pessimists. Convincingly written as a hapless romantic until she pulls the rug and betrays Desa and reveals her plan to bring in the being of the Nether all along. Her arc was by far my favourite.

Writing

Ahh the part of the review that digs into the bones of the book. The mechanics. How well the ideas are portrayed, which words are repeated oft too much, and which sentences caused me to cringe, cry, or cheer. Oh, dear reader, I once thought that a great idea could overcome bad writing. I now understand I was wrong and defer to Jim Butcher who told it best when explaining how he came up with the idea for the Codex Alera series. Butcher claimed what mattered was the craft of storytelling and not the idea. Some random internet forum poster decided to challenge Jim Butcher with, what he thought were, two bad ideas, lost Roman legion and Pokemon. Now these, I would say are good ideas. Roman legions lost in the world - brilliant. Endless ideas about where they go, how they get there, are they even on Earth? Etc. Pokemon, also excellent, a magical form of cock fighting becomes the normal way of settling disagreements and the entire world revolves around it. Sign me up. Combined, astounding and many fascinating results could be created from the combination. Jim Butcher’s contribution was a success and, while the merits of that particular series can be argued, his overarching point was correct. Craft is superior to ideas.

Which brings us to R. S. Penney’s prose. Is it the worst? No. Is it the best? Not even close. It is profoundly mediocre and at some times poor. For instance at the end of chapter 19 he writes from Bendarian’s point of view, ‘He drew upon the Nether and ripped his way through the fabric of reality. And rip it did!’ I had flashbacks of Chuck Wendig’s ‘It’s going to blow. And blow, it does.’ From Star Wars Aftermath, and yes Chuck wrote in present tense. This repetition of telling adds nothing and he proceeds to show us what the rip is like, ‘A crack stretched across the sky from horizon to horizon. The world seemed to blur and split apart like an eggshell, leaving a new world in its place.’ Lead with that next time. Far superior imagery and writing than ‘And rip it did!’ This is not the only case of showing followed by telling, or vice versa. Later on we have:

‘Her last shot hit the wall, shattering one of the glowing stones. Its fragments fell to the floor, but they still gave off faint orange light. An Infused object was still Infused even if you bludgeoned it into a hundred pieces. The Infusion was woven into every molecule.’ (Chapter 25 p428 in my pdf copy with 500 pages.)

Penney shows the glowstone retains the illumination after shattering and then proceeds to tell us. It is unnecessary and breaks the flow and pace of the fight taking place. The information is later repeated, at the end of Chapter 26, as if the reader couldn’t get it the first time. This is meant to be a story, not a manual.

What makes the writing most annoying are the glimpses of decent prose within the mediocrity, such as, ‘…his face alight with devilish glee,’ and ‘A crack stretched across the sky from horizon to horizon. The world seemed to split apart like an eggshell, leaving a new world in its place.’ Are these the best lines in fiction, no, but they are much better than ‘nimble as a cat. Desa…’ or ‘Movement on her left.’ Or the 57 uses of ‘almost…’ e.g. ‘His surprised grimace was almost enough to soothe Desa’s annoyance.’ Or ‘…she could practically feel the air stirring on the back of her neck.’ Could she feel it, or not? Commit. Or ‘Normally, she would leave him to sulk, but Desa actually felt pity for the lad.’ Commit. Change the sentence so it reads something like, Desa would normally leave the lad to sulk but a worm of pity writhed in her heart. Kill those adverbs. Kill them all.

The poor outweighs the good and it is unfortunate because underneath the stilted writing, the uneven pacing, and the annoying “cool” dialogue in fights that I haven’t even mentioned is an inviting world in a rare genre that as the potential to be excellent but fails in the execution.

Jim Butcher’s right. It doesn’t matter how good your idea is if the writing is poor then the reader will have a poor time. High quality writing must come first.

2.5/5

Intriguing world and character driven plot weighed down by shoddy writing.

Lady Snowblood Volume 1 by Kazuo Koike

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adventurous dark funny fast-paced

4.0

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reddoscar's reviews 297 reviews

reddoscar's reviews
297 reviews