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samanthaardenlockheart's reviews
56 reviews
The Upside of Falling by Alex Light
4.0
This book was very cute and simple! Becca and Brett are so perfect for one another, but I so deeply loved how intertwined their characters are. Much love!
On Her Knees: Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel by Brenda Marie Davies
4.0
On Her Knees has blown me away. Brenda has taught me perspectives I’ve not yet considered and showed me things I did not know about, simply because I’m young and this memoir opened my eyes to the world of experience I have yet to encounter in later adulthood. She is helping me understand that Jesus does not cause us to feel shame. Shame is a product of religious fundamentalism implementing damaging standards onto people—whilst those very people cover up their harmful messages with a kind bow and shiny glitter. Navigating life as a young Christian woman will be better because I have read this memoir. I know I've got Jesus and God on my side, and they convict me through the Holy Spirit.♥️
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
5.0
There may be spoilers in this review. Proceed with caution. ♥️
Flowers for Algernon was an exceptional book. It is no secret that Daniel Keyes has mastered the art of storytelling. I loved all of the characters in different ways. However, I loved Charlie Gordon the very most (and of course his lab pal Algernon)—but this should come as no surprise.
He is a unique, innocent, and loving man who lives with an intellectual disability. Because of this, he is given the opportunity of being part of a study at Beekman College supervised by Professor Nemur, with the operation being carried out by Dr. Strauss. They found success in their lab mouse, Algernon, and through Charlie was an excellent candidate. Fortunately, the operation is an enormous success and his intelligence surpasses everyone around him, including those who are the reason for his transformation. Charlie begins to go through life, experiencing everything as he always dreamed.
The story is structured through Progress Reports told through his perspective which helps the story feel very real. As a reader, you feel very connected to Charlie as you see everything through his eyes. There are many funny moments in this book from beginning to end, but there are also heartbreaking moments. Since there was no way for Professor Nemur and Dr. Strauss to know this, before the operation, Charlie Gordon ultimately began regressing back towards his original state. Algernon had been declining in the lab, unable to go through the maze nearly as fast as he once could after his operation. Towards the last 10 pages, I felt myself getting extraordinarily emotional because Charlie knew exactly what was happening to him, and that only made it sadder. He ended up experiencing a very beautiful intimate connection with Alice (Miss Kinnian) even in the midst of this regression, and she stayed with him as long as he would have him. For once in his life, he experienced love-making with another woman that went beyond physical dimensions. The last few lines of this book were so profound that it is likely they will be with me forever.
One thing that does comfort me is that in this story, the operation was not for nothing. Charlie contributed himself to science selflessly, all in the hopes that he would be helping someone else just like him. He was a loving person with an I.Q. of 68, he was still loving with an I.Q. of 175, and he was once again a loving person when his I.Q. went back to 68. He loved making people smile through every part of his love, and most assuredly, Charlie Gordon loved Algernon.
As I write this review, I am listening to "Without You Without Me," by Matt and Hansen and it's completely fitting the bittersweetness I am feeling after finishing this story.
Flowers for Algernon was an exceptional book. It is no secret that Daniel Keyes has mastered the art of storytelling. I loved all of the characters in different ways. However, I loved Charlie Gordon the very most (and of course his lab pal Algernon)—but this should come as no surprise.
He is a unique, innocent, and loving man who lives with an intellectual disability. Because of this, he is given the opportunity of being part of a study at Beekman College supervised by Professor Nemur, with the operation being carried out by Dr. Strauss. They found success in their lab mouse, Algernon, and through Charlie was an excellent candidate. Fortunately, the operation is an enormous success and his intelligence surpasses everyone around him, including those who are the reason for his transformation. Charlie begins to go through life, experiencing everything as he always dreamed.
The story is structured through Progress Reports told through his perspective which helps the story feel very real. As a reader, you feel very connected to Charlie as you see everything through his eyes. There are many funny moments in this book from beginning to end, but there are also heartbreaking moments. Since there was no way for Professor Nemur and Dr. Strauss to know this, before the operation, Charlie Gordon ultimately began regressing back towards his original state. Algernon had been declining in the lab, unable to go through the maze nearly as fast as he once could after his operation. Towards the last 10 pages, I felt myself getting extraordinarily emotional because Charlie knew exactly what was happening to him, and that only made it sadder. He ended up experiencing a very beautiful intimate connection with Alice (Miss Kinnian) even in the midst of this regression, and she stayed with him as long as he would have him. For once in his life, he experienced love-making with another woman that went beyond physical dimensions. The last few lines of this book were so profound that it is likely they will be with me forever.
One thing that does comfort me is that in this story, the operation was not for nothing. Charlie contributed himself to science selflessly, all in the hopes that he would be helping someone else just like him. He was a loving person with an I.Q. of 68, he was still loving with an I.Q. of 175, and he was once again a loving person when his I.Q. went back to 68. He loved making people smile through every part of his love, and most assuredly, Charlie Gordon loved Algernon.
As I write this review, I am listening to "Without You Without Me," by Matt and Hansen and it's completely fitting the bittersweetness I am feeling after finishing this story.
Sonny's Blues by James Baldwin
3.0
• Written by James Baldwin
• Narrator is worried for Sonny.
• Something troublesome is in the newspaper.
• James Baldwin's Writing is very sensorially descriptive, eloquent, flowing, and beautiful.
• "A great block of ice got settled in my belly and kept melting there slowly all day long, while I taught my classes algebra. It was a special kind of ice. It kept melting, sending trickles of ice water all up and down my veins, but it never got less. Sometimes it hardened and seemed to expand until I felt my guts were going to come spilling out or that I was going to choke or scream. This would always be at a moment when I was remembering some specific thing Sonny had once said or done" (page 17).
○ Similie, personification, metaphor, dominant impression.
• He does not want to face the idea that Sonny had been found out in a raid for peddling and using heroin.
• These words make the reader feel very compassionate for Sonny, but there is also a feeling of disconnect.
• "I was sure that the first time Sonny had ever had horse, he couldn't have been much older than these boys were now. These boys, now, were living as we'd been living then, they were growing up with a rush and their heads bumped abruptly against the low ceiling of their actual possibilities. They were filled with rage. All they really knew were two darknesses, the darkness of their lives, which was now closing in on them, and the darkness of the movies, which had blinded them to that other darkness, and in which they now, vindictively, dreamed, at once more together than they were at any other time, and more alone" (page 18).
• This writing engages the senses.
• "He turned toward me again, patient and calm, and yet I somehow felt him shaking, shaking as though he were going to fall apart. I felt that ice in my guts again, the dread I'd felt all afternoon; and again I watched the barmaid, moving about the bar, washing glasses, and singing" (page 21).
• The author reveals that he is seven years older than Sonny; he is very descriptive when describing his little brother (closeness mixed with an underlying sense of distance and melancholy). He goes onto tell stories from his childhood.
• "It's always at the hour of trouble and confrontation that the missing member aches" (page 25).
• "But something deep and watchful in the child knows that this is bound to end, is already ending. In a moment someone will get up and turn on the light. Then the old folks will remember the children and they won't talk anymore that day. And when light fills the room, the child is filled with darkness. He knows that every time this happens he's moved just a little closer to that darkness outside. The darkness outside is what the old folks have been talking about. It's what they've come from. It's what they endure. The child knows that they won't talk anymore because if he knows too much about what's happened to them, he'll know too much too soon, about what's going to happen to him" (page 27).
• His mother reveals that his father's friend was killed a horrifically by white men driving a car, which caused him great trauma. His mother wants to make sure he will be able to look out for Sonny and be there for him, even if he can't stop terrible things from happening.
• Sonny wants to pursue a career in jazz, which is not what James feels is the best thing for him to do. Sonny feels upset when his older brother does not immediately support this career choice as being sustainable.
• "The music seemed to soothe a poison out of them; and time seemed, nearly, to fall away from the sullen, belligerent, battered faces, as though they were fleeing back to their first condition, while dreaming of their last" (page 39).
• Sonny reveals that the feeling of being on heroin is like being in control, but the author is very apprehensive of this.
• The descriptions still are very descriptive. The two brothers talk about suffering in a very deep way. Sometimes people like to give meaning to their suffering so it feels more bearable. The narrator tells Sonny, "I don't want to see you—die trying not to suffer."
• "All I know about music is that not many people ever really hear it. And even then, on the rare occasions when something opens within, and the music enters, what we mainly hear, or hear corroborated, are personal, private, vanishing evocations. But the man who creates the music is hearing something else, is dealing with the roar rising from the void and imposing order on it as it hits the air. What is evoked in him, then, is of another order, more terrible because it has no words, and triumphant, too, for that same reason. And his triumph, when he triumphs, is ours" (page 45).
• Scene where Sonny and Creole are playing the Blues song is a powerful, symbolic metaphor for suffering in this world.
○ "And yet I as aware that this was only a moment, that the world waited outside, as hungry as a tiger, and that trouble stretched above us, longer than the sky" (page 48).
• Narrator is worried for Sonny.
• Something troublesome is in the newspaper.
• James Baldwin's Writing is very sensorially descriptive, eloquent, flowing, and beautiful.
• "A great block of ice got settled in my belly and kept melting there slowly all day long, while I taught my classes algebra. It was a special kind of ice. It kept melting, sending trickles of ice water all up and down my veins, but it never got less. Sometimes it hardened and seemed to expand until I felt my guts were going to come spilling out or that I was going to choke or scream. This would always be at a moment when I was remembering some specific thing Sonny had once said or done" (page 17).
○ Similie, personification, metaphor, dominant impression.
• He does not want to face the idea that Sonny had been found out in a raid for peddling and using heroin.
• These words make the reader feel very compassionate for Sonny, but there is also a feeling of disconnect.
• "I was sure that the first time Sonny had ever had horse, he couldn't have been much older than these boys were now. These boys, now, were living as we'd been living then, they were growing up with a rush and their heads bumped abruptly against the low ceiling of their actual possibilities. They were filled with rage. All they really knew were two darknesses, the darkness of their lives, which was now closing in on them, and the darkness of the movies, which had blinded them to that other darkness, and in which they now, vindictively, dreamed, at once more together than they were at any other time, and more alone" (page 18).
• This writing engages the senses.
• "He turned toward me again, patient and calm, and yet I somehow felt him shaking, shaking as though he were going to fall apart. I felt that ice in my guts again, the dread I'd felt all afternoon; and again I watched the barmaid, moving about the bar, washing glasses, and singing" (page 21).
• The author reveals that he is seven years older than Sonny; he is very descriptive when describing his little brother (closeness mixed with an underlying sense of distance and melancholy). He goes onto tell stories from his childhood.
• "It's always at the hour of trouble and confrontation that the missing member aches" (page 25).
• "But something deep and watchful in the child knows that this is bound to end, is already ending. In a moment someone will get up and turn on the light. Then the old folks will remember the children and they won't talk anymore that day. And when light fills the room, the child is filled with darkness. He knows that every time this happens he's moved just a little closer to that darkness outside. The darkness outside is what the old folks have been talking about. It's what they've come from. It's what they endure. The child knows that they won't talk anymore because if he knows too much about what's happened to them, he'll know too much too soon, about what's going to happen to him" (page 27).
• His mother reveals that his father's friend was killed a horrifically by white men driving a car, which caused him great trauma. His mother wants to make sure he will be able to look out for Sonny and be there for him, even if he can't stop terrible things from happening.
• Sonny wants to pursue a career in jazz, which is not what James feels is the best thing for him to do. Sonny feels upset when his older brother does not immediately support this career choice as being sustainable.
• "The music seemed to soothe a poison out of them; and time seemed, nearly, to fall away from the sullen, belligerent, battered faces, as though they were fleeing back to their first condition, while dreaming of their last" (page 39).
• Sonny reveals that the feeling of being on heroin is like being in control, but the author is very apprehensive of this.
• The descriptions still are very descriptive. The two brothers talk about suffering in a very deep way. Sometimes people like to give meaning to their suffering so it feels more bearable. The narrator tells Sonny, "I don't want to see you—die trying not to suffer."
• "All I know about music is that not many people ever really hear it. And even then, on the rare occasions when something opens within, and the music enters, what we mainly hear, or hear corroborated, are personal, private, vanishing evocations. But the man who creates the music is hearing something else, is dealing with the roar rising from the void and imposing order on it as it hits the air. What is evoked in him, then, is of another order, more terrible because it has no words, and triumphant, too, for that same reason. And his triumph, when he triumphs, is ours" (page 45).
• Scene where Sonny and Creole are playing the Blues song is a powerful, symbolic metaphor for suffering in this world.
○ "And yet I as aware that this was only a moment, that the world waited outside, as hungry as a tiger, and that trouble stretched above us, longer than the sky" (page 48).
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
5.0
Margaret Atwood has a very talented way of writing and conveying the emotions of her characters. Offred, or June, who is the main character, lives in a theocratic dictatorship called the Republic of Gilead and because of her child-bearing abilities, she is subjected to dehumanization and emotional trauma of the worst kind. In Gilead, her only value is within her fertile womb. She is rendered a Handmaid, only allowed to wear completely red robes with white wings that cover her face at all times, especially when she is outside of the house. Women who can not have children most often are known as Wives who live with men called Commanders. The Commanders have the duty of engaging in sexual intercourse with the Handmaids every single month. Offred’s Commander is named Fred Waterford, and his wife is called Serena Joy. This intercourse is performed solely for the purpose of conceiving a baby, and unsurprisingly, it is often mechanical and certainly non-consensual. Atwood formally calls this The Ceremony. As a girl, imagining this happening to me is very frightening, yet something about the Handmaid’s Tale is very poetic and enlightening. It tells the story through the eyes of a fictional person who is experiencing an utter hell on Earth and is practically begging for her old life back. Stories like this truly help me feel thankful for all of the freedoms I do have. As I write this, I’m getting an education at an excellent university, I have a loving family and wonderful friends, and I have the freedom to read, write, watch, and believe whatever it is that I want. These are all tangible and intangible concepts June, other Handmaids, along with everyone else in Gilead—and, of course, millions of people in the real world—simply do not have. In our society, are so free to love and see all of the beauty that exists in the world despite the evilness that seems to plague us. It is worth noting that a few core themes of this book are certainly suffering, violence, longing, freedom, and passion. A quote from the Handmaid’s Tale that shook me to my core was, “Falling in love, we said; I fell for him. We were falling women. We believed in it, this downward motion: so lovely, like flying, and yet at the same time so dire, so extreme, so unlikely. God is love, they once said, but we reversed that, and love, like heaven, was always just around the corner. The more difficult it was to love the particular man beside us, the more we believed in Love, abstract and total. We were waiting, always, for the incarnation. That word, made flesh.” Wow. Such a truly disarming, terrifying, and beautiful passage from Margaret Atwood. There are some aspects of violence and somewhat vivid descriptions of issues that might be unsettling, so do take that into account. Nevertheless, this story in its entirety is a very compelling read as well, so I would highly recommend it.
Normal People by Sally Rooney
5.0
This story is so moving and has made me feel things I’ve felt so deeply in my real life. I deeply enjoyed it and I'm in love with Connell and Marianne's love story because it is a perfect encapsulation of letting someone go even though you’re deeply in love with them. To start, Connell Waldron and Marianne Sheridan’s connection is electric, magnifying, and powerful. This can be seen even in the first few pages of the book. They start as high school-age teenagers in Carricklea in Sligo, Ireland, but there is more to them than meets the eye. Connell is a talented, good-looking rugby player and Marianne is a disagreeable, quiet, and opinionated girl.
I am biased because I did watch the TV series before I read the book, but I could follow along easily. The show got Connell and Marianne down to a T. Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar-Jones have radiating chemistry on screen, so hats off to the filmmakers of the show for making this story come to life. Rooney’s writing style is so unique because she has an excellent way of making very simple moments between characters feel very intimate. Connell and Marrianne’s soul connection can be felt on every page. If they were lovers in a past life, I would not be surprised at all. No matter how much time goes by between them, they know that they will always love each other. This book is one that I will be re-reading in the future because of its honesty and rawness.
I am biased because I did watch the TV series before I read the book, but I could follow along easily. The show got Connell and Marianne down to a T. Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar-Jones have radiating chemistry on screen, so hats off to the filmmakers of the show for making this story come to life. Rooney’s writing style is so unique because she has an excellent way of making very simple moments between characters feel very intimate. Connell and Marrianne’s soul connection can be felt on every page. If they were lovers in a past life, I would not be surprised at all. No matter how much time goes by between them, they know that they will always love each other. This book is one that I will be re-reading in the future because of its honesty and rawness.
The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur
4.0
Rupi Kaur’s poetry is beautiful, simple, and has great depth that I can relate to as a young woman.
Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb
5.0
There are spoilers in this review. Proceed with caution. ♥️
I would be terribly remiss to not begin this review by first thanking a wonderful person I know who was kind enough to give this book to me. Its impact on me has been incredible. Robin Hobb is now one of my favourite authors, for certain. I am looking forward to reading Royal Assassin and Assassin’s Quest next.
Throughout reading Assassin’s Apprentice, it became extraordinarily clear to me that Hobb has a very unique way of articulating herself; I definitely read slowly at parts so as to not be confused, mostly because I am not used to her writing style. And yet, I was so completely immersed in his world thanks the unique characters with very distinct personalities. FitzChivalry, Burrich (the stablemaster), Prince Verity, Chade Fallstar (a royal assassin), Molly, Sooty, Smithy, and all others unmentioned are all such wonderful characters. The first chapter was very captivating as it showed our main character begins to write out this story, and that he is telling from his perspective as a young boy. I’ve never felt so intrigued by characters in such an intellectual way before engaging with a story in the fantasy genre. Their personalities are poignant and distinct, and Hobb does an excellent job of conveying this through constructing mannerisms for her characters along with implementing distinct modes of dialogue, or the manner in which each character speaks.
The perspective of our main character FitzChivalry Farseer starting off as just a six-year-old boy was something I have not seen in any stories I have read, and this story documents him through his adolescence. I also loved Hobb’s wonderful portrayal of animals, as if she was reaching into the minds of horses and dogs themselves and revealing their thoughts through what is known as the Wit in this story. I love animals so much, and scenes when their mental states were described made me feel all warm inside. Upon reading of Fitz’s first journey to Neatbay in Chapter Eight it started becoming evermore clear to me (as if it wasn’t already) that he was a very well-learned, brilliant young boy, and Chade’s teachings to him were starting to pay off. I enjoyed his sense of humour upon watching Lord Kelvar and Lady Grace interact; their incompetence for not being able to defend their territory on Watch Island was so comical. Reading about how Fitz made up a vision in his mind to convince Lady Grace to become an actual Duchess and give a speech was also brilliant; this shows his character and natural ability and influence to make that situation play out in the best way he saw fit. In Chapter Ten, Chade Fallstar and FitzChivalry’s journey to Forge was one I loved reading about. The scene with the inn fire was as memorable as it was terrifying, for two reasons to me: (1) the idea that the villagers in Forge had lost their internal souls and everything that made them human and (2) the fact that Fitz could feel their emotions and how they felt like nothing to him when he passed by their raided inn in Forge. Immediately after this point in the story, Chade informed Fitz that he must be taught the Skill. Galen is the one who was tasked to teach Fitz by the King.
One of my favourite less intense scenes was right when Fitz was meeting Lady Patience in her chambers, and he was gifted a little puppy, who was then named Smithy. Little did I know just how much little Smithy would help Fitz recover after weeks of gruesome and mentally and physically taxing training sessions with Galen in the Skill. He was a very ruthless Skillmaster with enormous disdain for Fitz, over nothing the poor boy could have control over. In Chapter Fifteen, Galen’s rage only worsened through Fitz’s quick mastery of the Skill, thus bringing him to his breaking point where Fitz’s entire spirit was tested. Thankfully, because of Burrich and Smithy, Fitz began making a recovery and healing from the traumatic events he had gone through after failing to keep his mind guarded and succumbing to the euphoria of feeling the Skill. Unfortunately, life continued getting rather difficult for poor Fitz. This can be seen in Chapter Sixteen. When he had to face Galen’s final task of practising the Skill, Fitz ended up failing rather miserably. He was sent to just north of Forge: a rather dangerous area. He ended up waiting and waiting for Galen’s call out to him which never came. What Fitz instead felt was Smithy’s crying out to him through his mind, along with Burrich being attacked. When he returned to Buckkeep, everyone thought he was dead, and he knew that he failed Galen’s test—despite all of the training. He quickly realized that poor Smithy had passed away. Burrich had found out that he was using the Wit all along, claiming that that was why he could not master the Skill, and then he commanded Fitz to leave and that they shall not be speaking again. This left him feeling sad and internally empty, and the way Hobb articulated this was extraordinarily moving. I felt the strong urge to cry, as there was a tight feeling in my chest, when I found myself relating to the feeling of failing and not measuring up to others’ expectations and even your own.
The internal fear and despair measuring up, not being enough, and feeling ashamed and confused that Fitz regularly experiences are certainly very human experiences— experiences I unequivocally know all too well, just as you do. Not long after this deep failure, Fitz learned from Price Verity that Galen had purposefully convinced him via his mind that he would never be able to Skill, effectively sabotaging his many months of effort intentionally. To me, this truly spoke of the hatred and vengefulness inside of Galen despite his outward air of dominance and power as a Skillmaster. In Chapter Twenty-One, where Fitz is tasked with having to poison Prince Rurisk of Jhaampe, I was very taken aback by what happened at the end. It seems he had decided that he had no intention of going through with the plan, since having Rurisk alive might unite the Duchies by being able to provide invaluable resources. In the end, when Regal commands him to go through with the initial plan, Fitz thinks to himself, “Don’t do what you can’t undo, until you’ve considered what you can’t do once you’ve done it.” I found these words of Hobb to be particularly meaningful and wise for my own life along with the people I interact with. There is so much hidden meaning in just this sentence that lead me to feel contemplative and think about the choices I’ve made in my own life. In Chapter Twenty-Three, Fitz does not end up wanting to poison Prince Rurisk, but as it turns out, Prince Regal already poisoned the wine and intended to make it look like Fitz is the one who carried out the act, which is alarming since he admired the man. Even more distressing is that Fitz was also left poisoned. After being taken and shamed by Regal, in this state of being poisoned, Fitz started hearing various voices around him through the Wit as if he was in a dream-like state. In the last two chapters, the plot started coming together even more, indicating to me that there is more to Assassin’s Apprentice than just Fitz. Regal literally tried overthrowing Prince Verity, and nearly killed Fitz in the process. While FizChivalry is the main character, and I am most interested in him, but he is also part of a larger story of people who have events happening to them just as he does. For this reason, I found the last two chapters to be the most challenging to read, yet that did nothing to take away from the pleasure and internal whirlwind that reading this book was for me.
To conclude my review, it was very pleasing to me how Robin Hobb revealed very few hints of information without giving too much away in this book, which makes her writing so intriguing to me. She managed to fit so much important detail within these pages, yet her words always left me guessing about the plot, the characters, and how things would continue to unfold. The complex emotions such as those articulated in this book are echoes to my own soul, reminding me that the depth I feel is universal. Fitz is a very unconventional protagonist because he ends up never obtaining one of his main goals, which is learning how to Skill. In fact, he ends up sick and in a very weak position by the end of this first installment. I actually thought that at some point in this book, he would gain the ability to Skill somehow—yet he does not. This is a reminder to me that he is human with imperfections and insecurities, and Hobb did a very excellent job of making readers (at least someone such as myself) feel seen. Not being able to Skill does not make Fitz a failure or anything less than the person that he is; if anything, it is a testament to all he had to endure. Many of the passages in this story possess a profoundly safe place in my heart.
I would be terribly remiss to not begin this review by first thanking a wonderful person I know who was kind enough to give this book to me. Its impact on me has been incredible. Robin Hobb is now one of my favourite authors, for certain. I am looking forward to reading Royal Assassin and Assassin’s Quest next.
Throughout reading Assassin’s Apprentice, it became extraordinarily clear to me that Hobb has a very unique way of articulating herself; I definitely read slowly at parts so as to not be confused, mostly because I am not used to her writing style. And yet, I was so completely immersed in his world thanks the unique characters with very distinct personalities. FitzChivalry, Burrich (the stablemaster), Prince Verity, Chade Fallstar (a royal assassin), Molly, Sooty, Smithy, and all others unmentioned are all such wonderful characters. The first chapter was very captivating as it showed our main character begins to write out this story, and that he is telling from his perspective as a young boy. I’ve never felt so intrigued by characters in such an intellectual way before engaging with a story in the fantasy genre. Their personalities are poignant and distinct, and Hobb does an excellent job of conveying this through constructing mannerisms for her characters along with implementing distinct modes of dialogue, or the manner in which each character speaks.
The perspective of our main character FitzChivalry Farseer starting off as just a six-year-old boy was something I have not seen in any stories I have read, and this story documents him through his adolescence. I also loved Hobb’s wonderful portrayal of animals, as if she was reaching into the minds of horses and dogs themselves and revealing their thoughts through what is known as the Wit in this story. I love animals so much, and scenes when their mental states were described made me feel all warm inside. Upon reading of Fitz’s first journey to Neatbay in Chapter Eight it started becoming evermore clear to me (as if it wasn’t already) that he was a very well-learned, brilliant young boy, and Chade’s teachings to him were starting to pay off. I enjoyed his sense of humour upon watching Lord Kelvar and Lady Grace interact; their incompetence for not being able to defend their territory on Watch Island was so comical. Reading about how Fitz made up a vision in his mind to convince Lady Grace to become an actual Duchess and give a speech was also brilliant; this shows his character and natural ability and influence to make that situation play out in the best way he saw fit. In Chapter Ten, Chade Fallstar and FitzChivalry’s journey to Forge was one I loved reading about. The scene with the inn fire was as memorable as it was terrifying, for two reasons to me: (1) the idea that the villagers in Forge had lost their internal souls and everything that made them human and (2) the fact that Fitz could feel their emotions and how they felt like nothing to him when he passed by their raided inn in Forge. Immediately after this point in the story, Chade informed Fitz that he must be taught the Skill. Galen is the one who was tasked to teach Fitz by the King.
One of my favourite less intense scenes was right when Fitz was meeting Lady Patience in her chambers, and he was gifted a little puppy, who was then named Smithy. Little did I know just how much little Smithy would help Fitz recover after weeks of gruesome and mentally and physically taxing training sessions with Galen in the Skill. He was a very ruthless Skillmaster with enormous disdain for Fitz, over nothing the poor boy could have control over. In Chapter Fifteen, Galen’s rage only worsened through Fitz’s quick mastery of the Skill, thus bringing him to his breaking point where Fitz’s entire spirit was tested. Thankfully, because of Burrich and Smithy, Fitz began making a recovery and healing from the traumatic events he had gone through after failing to keep his mind guarded and succumbing to the euphoria of feeling the Skill. Unfortunately, life continued getting rather difficult for poor Fitz. This can be seen in Chapter Sixteen. When he had to face Galen’s final task of practising the Skill, Fitz ended up failing rather miserably. He was sent to just north of Forge: a rather dangerous area. He ended up waiting and waiting for Galen’s call out to him which never came. What Fitz instead felt was Smithy’s crying out to him through his mind, along with Burrich being attacked. When he returned to Buckkeep, everyone thought he was dead, and he knew that he failed Galen’s test—despite all of the training. He quickly realized that poor Smithy had passed away. Burrich had found out that he was using the Wit all along, claiming that that was why he could not master the Skill, and then he commanded Fitz to leave and that they shall not be speaking again. This left him feeling sad and internally empty, and the way Hobb articulated this was extraordinarily moving. I felt the strong urge to cry, as there was a tight feeling in my chest, when I found myself relating to the feeling of failing and not measuring up to others’ expectations and even your own.
The internal fear and despair measuring up, not being enough, and feeling ashamed and confused that Fitz regularly experiences are certainly very human experiences— experiences I unequivocally know all too well, just as you do. Not long after this deep failure, Fitz learned from Price Verity that Galen had purposefully convinced him via his mind that he would never be able to Skill, effectively sabotaging his many months of effort intentionally. To me, this truly spoke of the hatred and vengefulness inside of Galen despite his outward air of dominance and power as a Skillmaster. In Chapter Twenty-One, where Fitz is tasked with having to poison Prince Rurisk of Jhaampe, I was very taken aback by what happened at the end. It seems he had decided that he had no intention of going through with the plan, since having Rurisk alive might unite the Duchies by being able to provide invaluable resources. In the end, when Regal commands him to go through with the initial plan, Fitz thinks to himself, “Don’t do what you can’t undo, until you’ve considered what you can’t do once you’ve done it.” I found these words of Hobb to be particularly meaningful and wise for my own life along with the people I interact with. There is so much hidden meaning in just this sentence that lead me to feel contemplative and think about the choices I’ve made in my own life. In Chapter Twenty-Three, Fitz does not end up wanting to poison Prince Rurisk, but as it turns out, Prince Regal already poisoned the wine and intended to make it look like Fitz is the one who carried out the act, which is alarming since he admired the man. Even more distressing is that Fitz was also left poisoned. After being taken and shamed by Regal, in this state of being poisoned, Fitz started hearing various voices around him through the Wit as if he was in a dream-like state. In the last two chapters, the plot started coming together even more, indicating to me that there is more to Assassin’s Apprentice than just Fitz. Regal literally tried overthrowing Prince Verity, and nearly killed Fitz in the process. While FizChivalry is the main character, and I am most interested in him, but he is also part of a larger story of people who have events happening to them just as he does. For this reason, I found the last two chapters to be the most challenging to read, yet that did nothing to take away from the pleasure and internal whirlwind that reading this book was for me.
To conclude my review, it was very pleasing to me how Robin Hobb revealed very few hints of information without giving too much away in this book, which makes her writing so intriguing to me. She managed to fit so much important detail within these pages, yet her words always left me guessing about the plot, the characters, and how things would continue to unfold. The complex emotions such as those articulated in this book are echoes to my own soul, reminding me that the depth I feel is universal. Fitz is a very unconventional protagonist because he ends up never obtaining one of his main goals, which is learning how to Skill. In fact, he ends up sick and in a very weak position by the end of this first installment. I actually thought that at some point in this book, he would gain the ability to Skill somehow—yet he does not. This is a reminder to me that he is human with imperfections and insecurities, and Hobb did a very excellent job of making readers (at least someone such as myself) feel seen. Not being able to Skill does not make Fitz a failure or anything less than the person that he is; if anything, it is a testament to all he had to endure. Many of the passages in this story possess a profoundly safe place in my heart.
Politics and the English Language by George Orwell
5.0
I read this in my English class, and I took so much away from it. It helped me understand how politicians and people in power can unfairly use language to manipulate people on a mass scale. “Each of these passages has faults of its own, but, quite apart from avoidable ugliness, two qualities are common to all of them. The first is staleness of imagery; the other is lack of precision. The writer either has a meaning and cannot express it, or he inadvertently says something else, or he is almost indifferent as to whether his words mean anything or not. This mixture of vagueness and sheer incompetence is the most marked characteristic of modern English prose, and especially of any kind of political writing. As soon as certain topics are raised, the concrete melts into the abstract and no one seems able to think of turns of speech that are not hackneyed: prose consists less and less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning, and more and more of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated hen-house.” –George Orwell