sarahm96's reviews
671 reviews

A Demon's Guide to Wooing a Witch by Sarah Hawley

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3.5

**SPOILERS BELOW**

  • Astaroth isn’t exactly endearing in AWGTFDAD but dunking on Lord Byron makes me hate him a tad less 
  • What the hell is a nonagon 
    • I know my préfixes enough to know it means 9 sides but that can’t be pretty 
  • Oooo I do love learning new British slang 
  • “Gothic drama” 😂😂
  • I’m pretty sure Baphomet is the Satanic goat guy? If so, I appreciate the nod 
  • So Moloch is horrible 
  • I forgot about the Wars of the Roses tentacle porn!
    • Okay why am I curious about this 
    • Also what the fuck is a Yorkist squid 
  • Don’t bet with demons my guy, you should know this 
  • Ahh hello Calladia!
  • Oh so this is a direct continuation 
  • ClipClop 😂😂
  • Thanks for making me read the words “Minotaur cum” with my own two eyeballs Sarah Hawley 
  • I am also on the “uh oh” end of the spectrum 
  • So Moloch is unpleasant everywhere, good to know 
  • The fact that Asty can remember something from the 1700s but not know where he is entertains me immensely 
  • I think it’s unfair that Calladia keeps threatening to explode testicles but not actually doing it 
    • The witch who cried testicles 
  • My guess is that Sandranella is the one in his head 
  • I want “fair to middling but not bad” on my tombstone 
  • LYKEA 😂😂
  • Man Moloch really sucks 
  • Cynthia is garbage 
  • We do love a good revenge plot 
  • Oh Asty, you’re sunk already if you don’t like seeing her cry 
  • The concept of having itchy teeth makes me want to crawl out of my skin 
  • Wow Cynthia’s casually transphobic too how lovely 
  • Well this group is going to love finding out about Astaroth being sheltered by Calladia 
  • These two make a very entertaining team 
  • ASTY’S A SWIFTIE this is amazing 
  • I appreciate the Romulus & Remus nod 
  • *sings* someone’s jealooooooous 
  • Wow this Sam dude really did a number on Calladia 
  • Well that was a plot twist 
  • *shudders* I could have gone my whole life without thinking of tentacle jousting 🙃🙃
  • The Borgias with Jeremy Irons was so terrible but so good 
  • “Horrified & aroused in equal measure” is a great sentence 
  • *Captain Holt voice* BOOOOOOOOONE 
  • Ope the jealousy is back 
  • Kinky 
  • *Aaron Burr voice* okay so we’re doing this 
  • I bet this is going to be some good sex 
  • Asty the softie 🥹🥹
  • Is it one bed time??!! 👀👀
  • Bless Sarah Hawley for normalizing not wanting kids 
  • I understand that adrenaline j*nkie is a common phrase but I really hate when people use that word 
  • Asty listened to what she wanted & actually got it for her pls kill me 
  • God Cynthia really is horrid 
  • Ope (I don’t know why I keep using this word I’m not from the Midwest I’m fucking Canadian) we have involuntary snuggling!! 
  • Haberdasher is one of the best words 
  • “Quid not squid” 😂😂
  • Well that was quite the foreplay 
  • Clitblocked should definitely be a thing 
  • These werewolves are getting on my Damn nerves 
  • Oh lovely, Lilith’s arrived 🙃🙄
  • Sarah Hawley why do you insist on consistently mentioning the tentacle porn 
  • Alzapraz never disappoints 
  • “Small life, big dreams, zero fucks to give” 
    • Now that’s a goddamn motto 
  • Calladia is the best
  • Cynthia remains the absolute worst 
  • Man Asty just gets Calladia & these two really melt my heart 
  • Tracing the edges of one’s teeth is not romantic sorry 
  • “Horn job” el oh el
  • I’ve read a lot of smutty scenes & I must say that I thoroughly enjoy Sarah Hawley’s smut writing 
    • Also props for saying “to the root” & not “to the hilt” 
  • Oop we’ve made it to the “I’m in love” realization 
  • “Officially emotionally compromised” is such a Calladia way to say I’m in love 
  • Taylor Swift would be right, to absolutely no one’s surprise 
  • Just because the abuse isn’t physical doesn’t mean it’s not abuse 
  • Sam can also get fucked 
  • We finally made it to Isobel 
  • The seeming lack of electric kettles in America has always baffled me 
    • Like who doesn’t own a kettle??
  • WarlockuSign stop 
  • “I outsource the murdering” is a VIBE 
  • Goddammit Isobel 
  • Oh hello again Mariel 
  • This is a very entertaining discussion 
  • Pretty sure I’m not emotionally prepared for this third act breakup either 
  • I desperately want to believe that Asty is now a better person/demon but I have a feeling he’s about to prove me wrong 
  • Well he & Oz sort of figured things out so that’s a start, maybe??
  • Yesssssss Calladia, get it girl 
  • I thoroughly enjoy the concept of ethically sourced condoms 
  • Not sure I love the phrasing “strum her clit.” 
    • It is not an instrument 
    • While we’re here, also not a fan of the constant use of “notching” re: penetration 
  • Good speech Asty 
  • There are 40 pages left & I am NERVOUS 
  • “This is the future progressives want”
    • Shut the fuck up Moloch 
  • Hold up why are we sentencing Asty to death this seems like quite the escalation 
  • Oh Jesus Christ this is a no from me 
  • They’re back!! 
  • Suck it Moloch 
  • Bless the IT person & their smarts 
  • Not remotely surprised that Baphomet also turned out to be hot garbage 
  • There was no third act breakup halle-fucking-lujah
  • I didn’t love Calladia & Asty as much as Mariel & Oz but I did thoroughly enjoy watching both MCs grow as people/half-demons 
  • Looking forward to Ben’s story!