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sarahm96's reviews
606 reviews
A Demon's Guide to Wooing a Witch by Sarah Hawley
3.5
**SPOILERS BELOW**
- Astaroth isn’t exactly endearing in AWGTFDAD but dunking on Lord Byron makes me hate him a tad less
- What the hell is a nonagon
- I know my préfixes enough to know it means 9 sides but that can’t be pretty
- Oooo I do love learning new British slang
- “Gothic drama” 😂😂
- I’m pretty sure Baphomet is the Satanic goat guy? If so, I appreciate the nod
- So Moloch is horrible
- I forgot about the Wars of the Roses tentacle porn!
- Okay why am I curious about this
- Also what the fuck is a Yorkist squid
- Don’t bet with demons my guy, you should know this
- Ahh hello Calladia!
- Oh so this is a direct continuation
- ClipClop 😂😂
- Thanks for making me read the words “Minotaur cum” with my own two eyeballs Sarah Hawley
- I am also on the “uh oh” end of the spectrum
- So Moloch is unpleasant everywhere, good to know
- The fact that Asty can remember something from the 1700s but not know where he is entertains me immensely
- I think it’s unfair that Calladia keeps threatening to explode testicles but not actually doing it
- The witch who cried testicles
- My guess is that Sandranella is the one in his head
- I want “fair to middling but not bad” on my tombstone
- LYKEA 😂😂
- Man Moloch really sucks
- Cynthia is garbage
- We do love a good revenge plot
- Oh Asty, you’re sunk already if you don’t like seeing her cry
- The concept of having itchy teeth makes me want to crawl out of my skin
- Wow Cynthia’s casually transphobic too how lovely
- Well this group is going to love finding out about Astaroth being sheltered by Calladia
- These two make a very entertaining team
- ASTY’S A SWIFTIE this is amazing
- I appreciate the Romulus & Remus nod
- *sings* someone’s jealooooooous
- Wow this Sam dude really did a number on Calladia
- Well that was a plot twist
- *shudders* I could have gone my whole life without thinking of tentacle jousting 🙃🙃
- The Borgias with Jeremy Irons was so terrible but so good
- “Horrified & aroused in equal measure” is a great sentence
- *Captain Holt voice* BOOOOOOOOONE
- Ope the jealousy is back
- Kinky
- *Aaron Burr voice* okay so we’re doing this
- I bet this is going to be some good sex
- Asty the softie 🥹🥹
- Is it one bed time??!! 👀👀
- Bless Sarah Hawley for normalizing not wanting kids
- I understand that adrenaline j*nkie is a common phrase but I really hate when people use that word
- Asty listened to what she wanted & actually got it for her pls kill me
- God Cynthia really is horrid
- Ope (I don’t know why I keep using this word I’m not from the Midwest I’m fucking Canadian) we have involuntary snuggling!!
- Haberdasher is one of the best words
- “Quid not squid” 😂😂
- Well that was quite the foreplay
- Clitblocked should definitely be a thing
- These werewolves are getting on my Damn nerves
- Oh lovely, Lilith’s arrived 🙃🙄
- Sarah Hawley why do you insist on consistently mentioning the tentacle porn
- Alzapraz never disappoints
- “Small life, big dreams, zero fucks to give”
- Now that’s a goddamn motto
- Calladia is the best
- Cynthia remains the absolute worst
- Man Asty just gets Calladia & these two really melt my heart
- Tracing the edges of one’s teeth is not romantic sorry
- “Horn job” el oh el
- I’ve read a lot of smutty scenes & I must say that I thoroughly enjoy Sarah Hawley’s smut writing
- Also props for saying “to the root” & not “to the hilt”
- Oop we’ve made it to the “I’m in love” realization
- “Officially emotionally compromised” is such a Calladia way to say I’m in love
- Taylor Swift would be right, to absolutely no one’s surprise
- Just because the abuse isn’t physical doesn’t mean it’s not abuse
- Sam can also get fucked
- We finally made it to Isobel
- The seeming lack of electric kettles in America has always baffled me
- Like who doesn’t own a kettle??
- WarlockuSign stop
- “I outsource the murdering” is a VIBE
- Goddammit Isobel
- Oh hello again Mariel
- This is a very entertaining discussion
- Pretty sure I’m not emotionally prepared for this third act breakup either
- I desperately want to believe that Asty is now a better person/demon but I have a feeling he’s about to prove me wrong
- Well he & Oz sort of figured things out so that’s a start, maybe??
- Yesssssss Calladia, get it girl
- I thoroughly enjoy the concept of ethically sourced condoms
- Not sure I love the phrasing “strum her clit.”
- It is not an instrument
- While we’re here, also not a fan of the constant use of “notching” re: penetration
- Good speech Asty
- There are 40 pages left & I am NERVOUS
- “This is the future progressives want”
- Shut the fuck up Moloch
- Hold up why are we sentencing Asty to death this seems like quite the escalation
- Oh Jesus Christ this is a no from me
- They’re back!!
- Suck it Moloch
- Bless the IT person & their smarts
- Not remotely surprised that Baphomet also turned out to be hot garbage
- There was no third act breakup halle-fucking-lujah
- I didn’t love Calladia & Asty as much as Mariel & Oz but I did thoroughly enjoy watching both MCs grow as people/half-demons
- Looking forward to Ben’s story!
You, with a View by Jessica Joyce
4.0
- Lord Huron is the best
- Because I’m a contrarian, it is entirely possible to have more than one love of your life
- Peloton classes are no joke, in Noelle’s defence
- So these two definitely wanted to bang in high school, they just hid behind insults & derision instead
- The mystery of Gram & Paul is fun
- Not to be stereotypical, but I’m not sure an elderly man would have a soft top Bronco…
- Now, a 30 under 30 person would probably have a Bronco
- Oh Paul, you adorably devious old man
- Also, you know Theo is an absolute sucker for Noelle because she has a nickname
- Dimples & money are a dangerous combination
- Okay Jessica we need to pump the brakes on this “dimple popping” descriptor because I’ve already had to read it too many times. I’m on page 54…
- Betty the bronco 🥹😍
- Boners for Broncos isn’t a horrible band name
- I can’t wait for Theo to express his love & pining for Noelle
- Road trip tiiiiiiiiime
- This is going to be good
- Well Theo’s dad sounds like a garbage person
- There better be some good smut in this book or I will throw my ereader across the room
- Dresses are an excellent reason not to wear pants
- *sings* there’s wine & sexual tensioooooon
- I feel a one bed scene happening
- It better be fucking good
- Emphasis on the fucking
- “We’re not the same people we were in high school” really sounds like “now I can stop pretending I hate you”
- I think I love Thomas
- Oh Theo
- The levels of pining are lethal
- I really love Paul
- Oop Theo’s gone into protector mode 👀👀
- We do love being told to take our pants off in a bossy tone
- McAngsty is an A+ nickname
- Oh yes because “look but don’t touch” always goes so well when there’s like 10 years of built up sexual frustration
- “I saw your Tic Tac” 🥹🥹
- Paul must be protected at all costs
- We need a Paul fan club
- Cheeky cheeky Theo
- 12/10 for that kiss
- Oooooooooh it’s one bed time!!!!!
- I am LIVING
- Theo could you at least have your big sad with Noelle & Paul instead of being all dark & morose about it like come on my dude
- Can we please give Jessica Joyce all the awards for not mentioning dick size? It might be coming (ha ha) during the actual sex scenes but there has not been a singular peen measurement comment which is fucking delightful
- Paul is the sneakiest & I love him
- This is so fucking cute I’m dying
- Also as a lover of travel, this book really speaks to my soul
- Not a fan of this “dickmatized” business
- Aaaaaand now we’ve mentioned the size of the peen *sigh*
- I was so hopeful
- Okay that wasn’t awful actually
- Thomas kills me
- Paul absolutely knows what’s going on
- He’s a smart man
- & these two are not subtle
- This book is really a love letter to grandparents & it’s so heartwarming
- If Sean ever tried to kiss me awake I would punch him in the mouth
- You can’t consent while you’re asleep, regardless of relationship status
- It’s a no from me
- “You’ve been downright cheerful” is the best backhanded compliment
- These notes are really just me being obsessed with Paul
- This is another book where the third act breakup is going to hurt like hell
- Romance really is its own form of masochism
- Do not love this going to the psychic idea
- Nope nope nope
- I sort of take it back
- Flor had good vibes
- “I don’t want to be done with this at all”
- Goodbye
- I have simply ceased to exist
- This Tell Me a Secret game is actually really cute
- Let’s see how these two fuckwits mess this up
- The two of you have been half in love with each other since high school why is falling in love so surprising
- Theo you absolute nincompoop
- I would absolutely read a prequel about Noelle’s parents
- Alright these two need to sort their shit out before I do it for them
- Wait hold on
- We have a man who is apologizing
- Oh no there’s photos help
- “This is the way I fell in love with you”
- Goodbye
- I have ceased to exist
- 12/10 for proposal
- This book was so sweet