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shansometimes's reviews
371 reviews
A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings
4.0
A Well-Trained Wife is a harrowing memoir about a woman whose religious upbringing conditioned her to believe that marriage was the only path for her and made her a prime candidate for ending up in an abusive one. It details her childhood in an influential megachurch, her early adulthood in the IBLP and other environments with increasingly extreme views, and how she finally got out.
I thought I had heard it all where the modern American church is concerned, but some of the revelations shocked me. I was also surprised and impressed by Levings' candor in revealing them. Where I felt the writing lacked (at the sentence, voice, and metaphor levels, it left much to be desired), she made up for it and kept me interested with honest, moving descriptions of her experiences and thoughts at the time.
Abuse narratives like this one are always brutal to read, and she would've needed another 100 pages to address all the people who needed to be held accountable besides her husband. I have seen a small subset of reviewers trying to separate their rigid religious beliefs from the outcomes Levings experienced and having to employ the "no true Scotsman" fallacy to do so. It's true that most Christians don't believe or behave in exactly this way. Still, this memoir reminded me that it's not a far leap from theological positions that say women must be submissive and subservient to men to abusive and oppressive situations like the author's.
Her story presents the patriarchy, which is often still upheld in some branches of Christianity today, as the clear problem. It's what allowed and emboldened men in authority to do the types of things described in her memoir: requiring your wife to respond to you with "yes, my lord," spanking your wife to keep her in line ("Christian domestic discipline"), exerting control over what your wife can read or write about, etc.
I include that breakdown because, as a Christian myself, I don't want anyone going into this memoir writing it off too quickly as an extreme case without recognizing how destructive certain theologies can be and how much closer their own beliefs may be to patriarchal fundamentalism than they realize. After all, her husband was taking instruction from sects (like ATI, IBLP, and Calvinism) and people with names that I recognized. Her husband clung to a distorted version of Christianity with no regard to the teachings of Jesus to justify his abuse and control, but it's a version that too many are still too cozy with for me.
This is a horrifying, enraging, and ultimately inspiring story that fortunately ends with escape. Levings saved herself and her children from a life of isolation, subjugation, and danger, and I'm glad she chose to share what led her there.
*This review is based on an ARC provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
I thought I had heard it all where the modern American church is concerned, but some of the revelations shocked me. I was also surprised and impressed by Levings' candor in revealing them. Where I felt the writing lacked (at the sentence, voice, and metaphor levels, it left much to be desired), she made up for it and kept me interested with honest, moving descriptions of her experiences and thoughts at the time.
Abuse narratives like this one are always brutal to read, and she would've needed another 100 pages to address all the people who needed to be held accountable besides her husband. I have seen a small subset of reviewers trying to separate their rigid religious beliefs from the outcomes Levings experienced and having to employ the "no true Scotsman" fallacy to do so. It's true that most Christians don't believe or behave in exactly this way. Still, this memoir reminded me that it's not a far leap from theological positions that say women must be submissive and subservient to men to abusive and oppressive situations like the author's.
Her story presents the patriarchy, which is often still upheld in some branches of Christianity today, as the clear problem. It's what allowed and emboldened men in authority to do the types of things described in her memoir: requiring your wife to respond to you with "yes, my lord," spanking your wife to keep her in line ("Christian domestic discipline"), exerting control over what your wife can read or write about, etc.
I include that breakdown because, as a Christian myself, I don't want anyone going into this memoir writing it off too quickly as an extreme case without recognizing how destructive certain theologies can be and how much closer their own beliefs may be to patriarchal fundamentalism than they realize. After all, her husband was taking instruction from sects (like ATI, IBLP, and Calvinism) and people with names that I recognized. Her husband clung to a distorted version of Christianity with no regard to the teachings of Jesus to justify his abuse and control, but it's a version that too many are still too cozy with for me.
This is a horrifying, enraging, and ultimately inspiring story that fortunately ends with escape. Levings saved herself and her children from a life of isolation, subjugation, and danger, and I'm glad she chose to share what led her there.
*This review is based on an ARC provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Religious bigotry, Pregnancy, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Alcoholism and Cursing
Shark Heart: A Love Story by Emily Habeck
4.5
Shark Heart strikes an impressive balance between beauty and bizarreness. The writing is poetic and stunning, and the premise is weird, but the author somehow conveys the intense emotions one might have if their new husband starts turning into a shark.
The story subtly and obscurely comments on what it means to love deeply and commit yourself to someone and mirrors the grievous process of slowly losing someone you love to a terminal condition. Outside of being emotive, Shark Heart was witty in a charming way. But it could've been silly in a dumb way if the author hadn't done it with so much feeling and flair (and this is coming from someone who has thought almost every other magical realism story I've read was corny).
I almost gave it five stars just because it made me cry twice, but I didn't love all of the writing choices. There were many storylines, and not all of them served the plot. Still, Shark Heart represents a lot of what I love about literary fiction (although I see how this could be called sci-fi or fantasy): don't just tell me that this man has a great white shark mutation condition and his wife is sad—show me how the hearts around him break a little more each time his skin changes or he grows a fin. Show me, through the kind of ridiculous assertion that a human could turn into a shark, how it feels to begin to lose someone who is technically still alive. Show me what it's like to no longer recognize yourself, lose control of your life and actions, and watch your unfulfilled dreams slip away.
And show Shark Heart did. I had to "suspend my disbelief" to get the message and metaphor, but when I did, this love story felt as real as any other. It didn't make perfect sense for the world I live in, and it was still a powerful, imaginative picture of grief and loss. I didn't exactly believe it, and I didn't have to. It still made me feel it.
The story subtly and obscurely comments on what it means to love deeply and commit yourself to someone and mirrors the grievous process of slowly losing someone you love to a terminal condition. Outside of being emotive, Shark Heart was witty in a charming way. But it could've been silly in a dumb way if the author hadn't done it with so much feeling and flair (and this is coming from someone who has thought almost every other magical realism story I've read was corny).
I almost gave it five stars just because it made me cry twice, but I didn't love all of the writing choices. There were many storylines, and not all of them served the plot. Still, Shark Heart represents a lot of what I love about literary fiction (although I see how this could be called sci-fi or fantasy): don't just tell me that this man has a great white shark mutation condition and his wife is sad—show me how the hearts around him break a little more each time his skin changes or he grows a fin. Show me, through the kind of ridiculous assertion that a human could turn into a shark, how it feels to begin to lose someone who is technically still alive. Show me what it's like to no longer recognize yourself, lose control of your life and actions, and watch your unfulfilled dreams slip away.
And show Shark Heart did. I had to "suspend my disbelief" to get the message and metaphor, but when I did, this love story felt as real as any other. It didn't make perfect sense for the world I live in, and it was still a powerful, imaginative picture of grief and loss. I didn't exactly believe it, and I didn't have to. It still made me feel it.
A Feminist's Guide to ADHD: How women can thrive and find focus in a world built for men by Janina Maschke
3.0
While it contained more helpful scientific information than other books I've read about ADHD, A Feminist's Guide to ADHD was more of an introductory book than the in-depth guide I expected. I appreciated that it covered topics I hadn't seen much information on, such as the impact that hormones, pregnancy, menopause, etc., have on ADHD brains. However, it was repetitive, and after all that good information, most of the solutions/coping skills presented were basic and obvious.
Don't get me wrong—there is practical guidance, but it won't be groundbreaking if you've ever read anything related to wellness or neurodivergence. I also had a hard time getting past the robotic writing style, and then, in some parts, the writing would switch to using more "you" language in a way that only added more fluff.
The "feminist" label was clearly for marketing, as the book didn't tackle any systemic issues from a markedly feminist perspective or even use the word past the front cover, from what I recall. It did broach topics like how symptoms often manifest differently in women and girls and why diagnosis can be challenging (and late in life) for women, which was helpful, but even that felt like a reach at times. This could be due to the lack of research that exists on ADHD and women, which I know the author is trying to fix.
This book is a fine introduction resource, and it was worth reading for some of the scientific explanations. You may not find new ideas for managing ADHD or commentary on ADHD as it intersects with feminism/ableism/equity, but it's a pretty good place to start for ADHD 101.
*This review is based on an ARC provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
Don't get me wrong—there is practical guidance, but it won't be groundbreaking if you've ever read anything related to wellness or neurodivergence. I also had a hard time getting past the robotic writing style, and then, in some parts, the writing would switch to using more "you" language in a way that only added more fluff.
The "feminist" label was clearly for marketing, as the book didn't tackle any systemic issues from a markedly feminist perspective or even use the word past the front cover, from what I recall. It did broach topics like how symptoms often manifest differently in women and girls and why diagnosis can be challenging (and late in life) for women, which was helpful, but even that felt like a reach at times. This could be due to the lack of research that exists on ADHD and women, which I know the author is trying to fix.
This book is a fine introduction resource, and it was worth reading for some of the scientific explanations. You may not find new ideas for managing ADHD or commentary on ADHD as it intersects with feminism/ableism/equity, but it's a pretty good place to start for ADHD 101.
*This review is based on an ARC provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
How to Pronounce Knife by Souvankham Thammavongsa
4.0
How to Pronounce Knife is a short story collection about Laotian immigrants and their experiences as they adjust to a new country, build new lives, make a living, and raise families. The feeling of wanting to belong is palpable between the lines.
I was most impressed by the author's handling of the short story form and how she closed the loop on her points, however simple they may be. I thought the first half was stronger than the second half, and the stories are light on setting details and character development. However, I still loved these charming stories. They balanced the bleak and hopeful feelings well and portrayed an honest, affecting look at the painful and sweet moments in the characters' lives.
I was most impressed by the author's handling of the short story form and how she closed the loop on her points, however simple they may be. I thought the first half was stronger than the second half, and the stories are light on setting details and character development. However, I still loved these charming stories. They balanced the bleak and hopeful feelings well and portrayed an honest, affecting look at the painful and sweet moments in the characters' lives.
The Message by Ta-Nehisi Coates
4.5
In THE MESSAGE, Coates takes his readers along on his travels to Senegal, South Carolina (for a school board meeting where one of his books is being banned), and Palestine. In three essays—which seemed unrelated at first but follow a similar, haunting thread—he processes each experience, detailing connections he made between various historical moments and what he learned from the people he met along the way.
Coates' thoughts are challenging and bold, underscoring the far-reaching impacts of colonization and persistent inequality in the US and globally. His perspectives are thought-provoking—most strikingly (and controversially), the way he ruminated on and drew comparisons to Israel's occupation of Palestine. I sometimes find Coates' writing style too stream-of-consciousness and hard to follow, but the third essay about Palestine is where his style made the most sense to me, and his talent shined the best. He blended personal narrative and political/social commentary to communicate the gravity of the topic and how deeply it affected him.
THE MESSAGE is by no means a history book meant to comprehensively cover the full story of the transatlantic slave trade, book banning, or Zionism. It's a weighty personal account of what Coates witnessed in Palestine (and elsewhere) and what it revealed to him about inequality, resilience, storytelling as a humanizing force, and the power of community.
*This review is based on a digital advance copy provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
Coates' thoughts are challenging and bold, underscoring the far-reaching impacts of colonization and persistent inequality in the US and globally. His perspectives are thought-provoking—most strikingly (and controversially), the way he ruminated on and drew comparisons to Israel's occupation of Palestine. I sometimes find Coates' writing style too stream-of-consciousness and hard to follow, but the third essay about Palestine is where his style made the most sense to me, and his talent shined the best. He blended personal narrative and political/social commentary to communicate the gravity of the topic and how deeply it affected him.
THE MESSAGE is by no means a history book meant to comprehensively cover the full story of the transatlantic slave trade, book banning, or Zionism. It's a weighty personal account of what Coates witnessed in Palestine (and elsewhere) and what it revealed to him about inequality, resilience, storytelling as a humanizing force, and the power of community.
*This review is based on a digital advance copy provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
Passing by Nella Larsen
reflective
tense
slow-paced
4.0
PASSING is a poignant story in more ways than I expected. It's smartly written, but what moved me most was the feelings of annoyance it stirred up. Understandably flawed characters aside, PASSING offers insights into more than the concept of passing as white; it's also a story of two marriages and what it could take to break them apart. What the story says about friendships between women and what a life with an undercurrent of secrets can look like is interesting, too.
PASSING employs a melodramatic writing style that leaves plenty of room for reflection and reading between the lines. All I could think was, "If I were an English professor, this would be a fun one to teach." It's also a slow work-up to what was, for me, an unfulfilling end, but it's a short classic that's absolutely worth a read.
PASSING employs a melodramatic writing style that leaves plenty of room for reflection and reading between the lines. All I could think was, "If I were an English professor, this would be a fun one to teach." It's also a slow work-up to what was, for me, an unfulfilling end, but it's a short classic that's absolutely worth a read.
Make Me Rain: Poems & Prose by Nikki Giovanni
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
What a beautiful and strong hybrid collection of poetry and prose! Nikki Giovanni's talent and quirks are on full display. Reading 'Make Me Rain' the same month she passed away was a moving experience. Taking in these words—which she wrote about her childhood, hopes, Blackness, grief, and more—was a great way to savor her memory.
Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
4.0
I love how fiercely opinionated Roxane Gay is and how sharp she is as a cultural critic. I decided to read Bad Feminist, her 2014 essay collection, because I'd only read Hunger and wanted to read her older work before reading her 2024 release, Opinions (which I already own a signed copy of 😂).
Bad Feminist is challenging, dark, and even witty, depending on which page you're on. And it contains more essays than any collection I've read. Gay, in her engaging writing style, took her time dissecting various issues and their intersections with other issues. From books to movies to men's behavior, she shares thought-provoking insights on how race, politics, and societal norms that should've never been normalized have affected her experience as a woman and her perceptions of morality, language, other women, and the world around her.
She also calls out and reflects on the contradictions and problematic portrayals our society has accepted in popular media. Even as someone who is bad at keeping up with TV shows and movies, I thought she made her points plainly, and I appreciated her incisive perspectives. The Gender and Sexuality section was the strongest for me. I read this collection 10 years after it was released, and while I don't think everything in it stood up to the test of time and some of the content felt repetitive, I'm still glad to have read these smart, rambling essays and gotten a look inside Gay's mind.
Bad Feminist is challenging, dark, and even witty, depending on which page you're on. And it contains more essays than any collection I've read. Gay, in her engaging writing style, took her time dissecting various issues and their intersections with other issues. From books to movies to men's behavior, she shares thought-provoking insights on how race, politics, and societal norms that should've never been normalized have affected her experience as a woman and her perceptions of morality, language, other women, and the world around her.
She also calls out and reflects on the contradictions and problematic portrayals our society has accepted in popular media. Even as someone who is bad at keeping up with TV shows and movies, I thought she made her points plainly, and I appreciated her incisive perspectives. The Gender and Sexuality section was the strongest for me. I read this collection 10 years after it was released, and while I don't think everything in it stood up to the test of time and some of the content felt repetitive, I'm still glad to have read these smart, rambling essays and gotten a look inside Gay's mind.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence
Banal Nightmare by Halle Butler
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Banal Nightmare is a dazzling, chaotic example of "weird girl literary fiction" with a perfectly apt title. It's a cringe-worthy, unsettling, and tedious story about the millennial experience told through the life of the odd and precarious main character, Moddie.
Her romantic relationship falls apart, so she moves home for a breather. Her hometown friends are being weird, and their lives are unraveling, too. She doesn't know what to do with her life. She can't tell attraction from boredom. She takes on the role of a tortured artist who is surrounded (and tortured by) other tortured artists who are kind of mean and immature, and on and on. I somehow liked this bizarre book, but it was longwinded, underscoring the whole "nightmare" thing for me.
Her romantic relationship falls apart, so she moves home for a breather. Her hometown friends are being weird, and their lives are unraveling, too. She doesn't know what to do with her life. She can't tell attraction from boredom. She takes on the role of a tortured artist who is surrounded (and tortured by) other tortured artists who are kind of mean and immature, and on and on. I somehow liked this bizarre book, but it was longwinded, underscoring the whole "nightmare" thing for me.
Toni Morrison's Spiritual Vision: Faith, Folktales, and Feminism in Her Life and Literature by Nadra Nittle
4.0
This is a book for a very specific type of thought daughter 😆 It's a literary analysis of Toni Morrison's work that explores how Morrison's religious beliefs, feminist approach, and deep connection to the oral tradition of folktales showed up in her literature.
While it's incredibly niche and bordering on academic in some places, I thought this was a brilliant idea for a book. The author still managed to make it informative and accessible. I enjoy reading different perspectives on religion and spirituality, and this book helped me gain a deeper understanding of their roles in Morrison's work. I've read all of her fiction, and this book illuminated many interesting religious and folklore-related themes that I missed.
If you're a fan of Morrison's writing and find any of the intersections I mentioned interesting, you might like this, too!
While it's incredibly niche and bordering on academic in some places, I thought this was a brilliant idea for a book. The author still managed to make it informative and accessible. I enjoy reading different perspectives on religion and spirituality, and this book helped me gain a deeper understanding of their roles in Morrison's work. I've read all of her fiction, and this book illuminated many interesting religious and folklore-related themes that I missed.
If you're a fan of Morrison's writing and find any of the intersections I mentioned interesting, you might like this, too!