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shaun_trinh's Reviews (125)
Oh my I don't even know where to start. My boys Declan and Melonhead should not have been burdened with the responsibility to carry this book.
I absolutely loved Declan's story throughout this story. His struggles, his pain, his character, just all felt so real and genuine. I felt like it was so easy to connect with his character and understand how he felt throughout the entire story. Almost everything he did and felt, felt justified, not that he didn't do anything wrong, but the reasons he did what he did always made sense. They were never unclear or out of character. He's probably one of the best written characters I've read. Watching him deal with the guilt of his sister dying and how he had to deal with his toxic home life, and how that affected him is why I was so glued into reading this story. For the most part he had an amazing storyline, with few major grievances that I will dote on later in this review.
I also loved Melonhead despite the fact he wasn't in the book all that much, and I like him because of how he helped Declan open his eyes to the trauma that he was forced and guilted into. Throughout the book I was so angry at Declan's mom because she is complicate in what happened to Declans dad and sister(Kerry). But yet she couldn't pay Declan any attention throughout the entire story. When Declan said that he felt like he was an outsider of his own home, he was right. Because his own mother ;et him be pushed out over time. And Melonhead was the first person to actually call it as it is. He finally told Declan that he IS a victim. His mom had no right to have and encourage Declan as a middle schooler to be his Dad's uber driver for when he was drunk. She knew found out about it, encouraged it, and then people died, but yet she had the gal to emotionally cut off her own son. Who SHE put in that position of needing to turn down driving his own drunken father. Melonhead immediately earned all of my respect for putting that BS on the table for Declan to see, because he didn't deserve to feel so guilty for what happened. To feel like it was his fault. His mother knew he felt that way and did nothing to save him from it, in fact she contributed to it every day.
Now to what I disliked throughout the book
First off there's Juliet. Now I don't necessarily dislike her, I just felt so disconnected from her despite the fact she is a main character who has the most page time. Unlike with Declan's story, Juliet's felt so loosely connected. I understood how the death of a parent can leave you permanently scarred, but how that actually effected her everyday life felt more forced and insincere. Not only that but she was also just an absolute dick to Declan for very little reason to be. Did Declan act out too towards her, yes, but the vast majority of the time it was provoked by Juliet for no reason. She throws low blow insults at him practically on the daily ever since she met him, but the story justifies it as Juliet needing to get the first blow in as a defense mechanism. Not only that, its often portrayed that Declan was wrong to ever be upset with her and how he should have thought of or seen xyz and acted differently. No she was just a dick to him despite getting and needing his help.
Next, Alan and Declan's mother. What a dumpster fire. I'll start with the mom since I've already spoken on her a little. I did not like how the story tries to portray her as a victim AT ALL. She is just as fault for Kerry dying as the father is, but besides Melonhead, the book doesn't want to treat it like that. She also emotionally iced out Declan and let Alan treat him like shit, knowing she's at fault. Criminal. Child endangerment. Child abuse. Child neglect. All of these terms apply to the mother who can seem to do no wrong in the eyes of the moral of the story. She is treated like she's just as much of a victim as Declan is. The book literally absolves her of everything she did. They briefly acknowledge it, but then it's like "oh it's okay" "you don't need to do better." HUH?!? She's a terrible parent but i'm supposed to let this book quite literally try to GUILT TRIP ME into thinking she's a victim?!?! Now lets get to Alan. He was such an asshat throughout the entire story, even in the first conversation he has with Declan when he finds out the truth, he is still an asshole. But I'm supposed to believe that after Declan's mom told him the truth about that he had a complete change of heart. Despite the fact that even without the full truth, he was still unreasonably rude and aggressive with him. I'm supposed to believe that he and Declan's mom were worried that whenever Declan went out that they thought he was going to try to kill himself again? Despite the fact that he actively treated him like shit, threatened him, and was abusive towards him. So worried about his wellbeing that neither of them actually gave him any support, they just ignored and abused him (through aggressive or passive means). He also held a grudge with Declan, a high school student, about him not liking him from the start, despite the fact that Alan himself always treated Declan with contempt. YOU ARE AN ADULT. Declan is also TRAUMATIZED AND A CHILD. Alan was just absolutely terrible, and then in like the what, last 50 pages I'm supposed to accept he has a sloppy redemption arc after the abuse he perpetuated onto Declan?
Now let's move on to Juliet's mother. Her role in the story was good for a while. She loved Juliet despite never being around and I could feel the genuine love between them whenever Juliet spoke of her. I also liked the brief glimpses of resentment that Juliet had of her mother because she was never around. But all of that was thrown out the window when it was revealed that she was CHEATING on Juliet's father with her editor...Just why? What was the point of bastardizing a dead mother? She was already established to be a flawed parent. What did that actually contribute to the story? Literally nothing of justifiable value! But that's not even the worst part of it. The dad KNEW ABOUT IT. But only stayed in the relationship because he loved the mother still and loved Juliet, so he didn't want to possibly take that relationship away from them... HUH. What type of toxic BS is this??? That just made me so incredibly angry. Putting up a façade of a loving relationship so your kids don't have divorced parent's is a terrible and unhealthy message.
Something else I didn't like in the book was Declan and Juliet's relationship. I simply did not believe that they had any true, and natural romantic chemistry. The only time I occasionally felt it was when they were messaging each other anonymously, but once they ever had in person dialogue with each other I felt nothing. I think they'd made good friends, but I never felt the static electricity that the book was seemingly trying to give between them. They didn't even seem to like each other as people all that much. Not in an enemy-to-lovers type of way as their dynamic is supposed to be, but just two people who don't connect on the same wavelength and will argue because of it. Which contrasts their relationship online where they do connect a lot more, which is the point of most of the story. That they don't get along in person but do when they anonymously message each other. But the thing is, that's built completely on trauma. It's just mutual trauma dumping that they find a connection in, there's little peaks of completion-trauma related conversations, but they generally lack in quantity and weight to really matter. I just didn't believe in the chemistry they're supposed to have.
Speaking of their online relationship though, while I have made it clear that I love Declan's character, I cannot ignore the pure fact that he was someone completely different when he was messaging Juliet then he was in person to any character whatsoever. There is no connection between the two personas besides the trauma. Yes that's part of the point that when he's messaging Juliet he's his true self because he feels as if she understood him. But, how he spoke through those messages still should of had minor connections to who he was in person. The story acknowledges both personas as being Declan, yet there's no indication of that besides as I said the trauma, and that we're told it's the same person.
Lastly is the out of pocket details and shit that everyone in this book throws out. If you've really read this book then you know what I mean. For example let me quote a line: "Turned out he was scared of Geoff and Kristen because they're black. His dad told him that black people were evil and sent by the devil" (Kemmerer 25). Just what the fuck. Maybe this plays a big role in the book that Rev is the main character in, but at the end of the day this line of dialogue is in this book and holds NO VALUE WHATSOEVER. It doesn't attribute to anything in this story and is never brought up again. What in the hell, why was this line included in the book. But moving on, there were so many times people said messed up shit to each other and it would almost immediately be ignored, or treated as if it didn't actually happen. Like when that photography teacher asked Juliet what her dead mother would think of her not picking up photography again for a fall festival...WHAT. A whole teacher said that and it was like nothing wrong was said. Good intentions or not, that was not okay. Characters would just move past shitty behavior as if nothing offensive towards them was said. Hell the party that should be offended is often treated by the story as if they should be the one who should apologize. Annoyed the hell out of me throughout the entire story. That people who were being disrespected often played down their feelings, retract their feelings, or didn't give a reaction to rude shit for no reason.
There's just so many bad things that happened in this book. At first while I was reading I thought this was going to be a 3 star read, but things just got worse, and worse for me. I like the general concept of this story, but so many things in the execution went wrong. Declan deserved so much better then this.
I absolutely loved Declan's story throughout this story. His struggles, his pain, his character, just all felt so real and genuine. I felt like it was so easy to connect with his character and understand how he felt throughout the entire story. Almost everything he did and felt, felt justified, not that he didn't do anything wrong, but the reasons he did what he did always made sense. They were never unclear or out of character. He's probably one of the best written characters I've read. Watching him deal with the guilt of his sister dying and how he had to deal with his toxic home life, and how that affected him is why I was so glued into reading this story. For the most part he had an amazing storyline, with few major grievances that I will dote on later in this review.
I also loved Melonhead despite the fact he wasn't in the book all that much, and I like him because of how he helped Declan open his eyes to the trauma that he was forced and guilted into. Throughout the book I was so angry at Declan's mom because she is complicate in what happened to Declans dad and sister(Kerry). But yet she couldn't pay Declan any attention throughout the entire story. When Declan said that he felt like he was an outsider of his own home, he was right. Because his own mother ;et him be pushed out over time. And Melonhead was the first person to actually call it as it is. He finally told Declan that he IS a victim. His mom had no right to have and encourage Declan as a middle schooler to be his Dad's uber driver for when he was drunk. She knew found out about it, encouraged it, and then people died, but yet she had the gal to emotionally cut off her own son. Who SHE put in that position of needing to turn down driving his own drunken father. Melonhead immediately earned all of my respect for putting that BS on the table for Declan to see, because he didn't deserve to feel so guilty for what happened. To feel like it was his fault. His mother knew he felt that way and did nothing to save him from it, in fact she contributed to it every day.
Now to what I disliked throughout the book
First off there's Juliet. Now I don't necessarily dislike her, I just felt so disconnected from her despite the fact she is a main character who has the most page time. Unlike with Declan's story, Juliet's felt so loosely connected. I understood how the death of a parent can leave you permanently scarred, but how that actually effected her everyday life felt more forced and insincere. Not only that but she was also just an absolute dick to Declan for very little reason to be. Did Declan act out too towards her, yes, but the vast majority of the time it was provoked by Juliet for no reason. She throws low blow insults at him practically on the daily ever since she met him, but the story justifies it as Juliet needing to get the first blow in as a defense mechanism. Not only that, its often portrayed that Declan was wrong to ever be upset with her and how he should have thought of or seen xyz and acted differently. No she was just a dick to him despite getting and needing his help.
Next, Alan and Declan's mother. What a dumpster fire. I'll start with the mom since I've already spoken on her a little. I did not like how the story tries to portray her as a victim AT ALL. She is just as fault for Kerry dying as the father is, but besides Melonhead, the book doesn't want to treat it like that. She also emotionally iced out Declan and let Alan treat him like shit, knowing she's at fault. Criminal. Child endangerment. Child abuse. Child neglect. All of these terms apply to the mother who can seem to do no wrong in the eyes of the moral of the story. She is treated like she's just as much of a victim as Declan is. The book literally absolves her of everything she did. They briefly acknowledge it, but then it's like "oh it's okay" "you don't need to do better." HUH?!? She's a terrible parent but i'm supposed to let this book quite literally try to GUILT TRIP ME into thinking she's a victim?!?! Now lets get to Alan. He was such an asshat throughout the entire story, even in the first conversation he has with Declan when he finds out the truth, he is still an asshole. But I'm supposed to believe that after Declan's mom told him the truth about that he had a complete change of heart. Despite the fact that even without the full truth, he was still unreasonably rude and aggressive with him. I'm supposed to believe that he and Declan's mom were worried that whenever Declan went out that they thought he was going to try to kill himself again? Despite the fact that he actively treated him like shit, threatened him, and was abusive towards him. So worried about his wellbeing that neither of them actually gave him any support, they just ignored and abused him (through aggressive or passive means). He also held a grudge with Declan, a high school student, about him not liking him from the start, despite the fact that Alan himself always treated Declan with contempt. YOU ARE AN ADULT. Declan is also TRAUMATIZED AND A CHILD. Alan was just absolutely terrible, and then in like the what, last 50 pages I'm supposed to accept he has a sloppy redemption arc after the abuse he perpetuated onto Declan?
Now let's move on to Juliet's mother. Her role in the story was good for a while. She loved Juliet despite never being around and I could feel the genuine love between them whenever Juliet spoke of her. I also liked the brief glimpses of resentment that Juliet had of her mother because she was never around. But all of that was thrown out the window when it was revealed that she was CHEATING on Juliet's father with her editor...Just why? What was the point of bastardizing a dead mother? She was already established to be a flawed parent. What did that actually contribute to the story? Literally nothing of justifiable value! But that's not even the worst part of it. The dad KNEW ABOUT IT. But only stayed in the relationship because he loved the mother still and loved Juliet, so he didn't want to possibly take that relationship away from them... HUH. What type of toxic BS is this??? That just made me so incredibly angry. Putting up a façade of a loving relationship so your kids don't have divorced parent's is a terrible and unhealthy message.
Something else I didn't like in the book was Declan and Juliet's relationship. I simply did not believe that they had any true, and natural romantic chemistry. The only time I occasionally felt it was when they were messaging each other anonymously, but once they ever had in person dialogue with each other I felt nothing. I think they'd made good friends, but I never felt the static electricity that the book was seemingly trying to give between them. They didn't even seem to like each other as people all that much. Not in an enemy-to-lovers type of way as their dynamic is supposed to be, but just two people who don't connect on the same wavelength and will argue because of it. Which contrasts their relationship online where they do connect a lot more, which is the point of most of the story. That they don't get along in person but do when they anonymously message each other. But the thing is, that's built completely on trauma. It's just mutual trauma dumping that they find a connection in, there's little peaks of completion-trauma related conversations, but they generally lack in quantity and weight to really matter. I just didn't believe in the chemistry they're supposed to have.
Speaking of their online relationship though, while I have made it clear that I love Declan's character, I cannot ignore the pure fact that he was someone completely different when he was messaging Juliet then he was in person to any character whatsoever. There is no connection between the two personas besides the trauma. Yes that's part of the point that when he's messaging Juliet he's his true self because he feels as if she understood him. But, how he spoke through those messages still should of had minor connections to who he was in person. The story acknowledges both personas as being Declan, yet there's no indication of that besides as I said the trauma, and that we're told it's the same person.
Lastly is the out of pocket details and shit that everyone in this book throws out. If you've really read this book then you know what I mean. For example let me quote a line: "Turned out he was scared of Geoff and Kristen because they're black. His dad told him that black people were evil and sent by the devil" (Kemmerer 25). Just what the fuck. Maybe this plays a big role in the book that Rev is the main character in, but at the end of the day this line of dialogue is in this book and holds NO VALUE WHATSOEVER. It doesn't attribute to anything in this story and is never brought up again. What in the hell, why was this line included in the book. But moving on, there were so many times people said messed up shit to each other and it would almost immediately be ignored, or treated as if it didn't actually happen. Like when that photography teacher asked Juliet what her dead mother would think of her not picking up photography again for a fall festival...WHAT. A whole teacher said that and it was like nothing wrong was said. Good intentions or not, that was not okay. Characters would just move past shitty behavior as if nothing offensive towards them was said. Hell the party that should be offended is often treated by the story as if they should be the one who should apologize. Annoyed the hell out of me throughout the entire story. That people who were being disrespected often played down their feelings, retract their feelings, or didn't give a reaction to rude shit for no reason.
There's just so many bad things that happened in this book. At first while I was reading I thought this was going to be a 3 star read, but things just got worse, and worse for me. I like the general concept of this story, but so many things in the execution went wrong. Declan deserved so much better then this.
What a great read, I had heard amazing things about Mariana Zapata's writing, but she completely blew me out of the park with this book. Now at first I must admit I was skeptical when the it had arrived at my house after ordering it online, I thought "why the hell was this book so long"?" When I bought it I only knew what the synopsis was, and I had no idea how Zapata was going to make it last 665 pages long. But alas she did and it was amazing.
Something that immediately stood out to me as I read The Wall of Winnipeg and Me was the pacing. Zapata made those 600+ pages go by in a breeze. I never felt like the story was dragging on too much. It wasn't too slow to where I would get bored, and it didn't go to fast to where I was left confused on what was going on. The pacing was perfect. Part of why it was so good was that the story never made any pit stops for minor side plots. When it came to Van's family drama, it wasn't ignored at all, but we didn't spend pages among pages dealing with it. We saw that Van went to her mom's birthday party, what was going to go down was established, but we didn't get any fluff to draw out this part of the story. In fact in ended shortly after Van arrived. Afterwards we were told what happened in a smooth and effortless way while also highlighting how it affected Van. It also let the readers get to scenes and characters that they cared about more faster and not making them skim through needless fluff. She also didn't give us the typical relationship-breaking drama in the 3rd act of the book which almost every romance and YA book has at it's climax. But to my pleasant surprise, nothing was pulled out from the rug under me to randomly force our main characters to have a giant dispute just for the sake of being a cookie cutter YA/romance book.
I also loved how isolated the story was, it had these side plots as mentioned earlier, but for the most part it focused in on our 2 main characters and lead supporting character being Van, Aiden, and Zach. The passage of time felt seem-less. In a lot of romance novels authors tend to have a lot of scenes that aren't necessarily fluff, but are noticeably less interesting to read about then others. That wasn't the case here at all. Every scene felt interesting and that it had a reason to be there that wasn't a drag to get through. Zapata made great use of these scenes that could have been an obstacle for the reader to get through, and turned them into great character and plot building moments. I wouldn't take out any of them.
Another thing I loved how drawn out the main plot point of the synopsis was. The readers are told that essentially Van is working for Aiden as his assistant, but that she had enough of the way he was treating her and quit. Only for him to come back and beg her to return. Not only was this important plot not rushed at all, it didn't give away how the rest of the book was going to specifically go. In a lot of books of any genre, the founding plot line that dives the rest of the book is often put into motion fairly quickly, around 20 pages or less, but this book spent 85 pages to execute it. Now some of you may think that's preposterous, but it was honestly a great decision by the author. Zapata spent those 85 pages to thoroughly establish the foundation of both Van and Aiden's characters individually, and what their relationship was like at the start of the story. It's because of this well-established starting point that the book flows as well as it does, because we know exactly where these characters stand, what their fundamental beliefs are, behavioral tendencies, all of it. Now we obviously don't know everything to the fullest extent by any means, but it's this writing choice that makes EVERY scene that follows it for the rest of the book so much more worth it.
Which leads me to talking about the best thing in this book. The RELATIONSHIP. Watching how both Van and Aiden progress throughout the story was infatuating because I loved just about every scene they shared. They started with seemingly nothing of mutual personal value and appreciation, but slowly(but still at a good pace) grew closer and closer to each other. What also made it so satisfying was the characters themselves acknowledging it, from Van being surprised that Aiden remembered and knew things about her she though he didn't care enough to notice, and Aiden being reminded of how before Van came back he really didn't treat her right, how he didn't notice things he should have after working with her for 2-3 years. None of this happened abruptly either, it all happened across the entirety of the book. We got to see both small and big details arise in their scenes which indicated how far their relationship was at any given point in the story. I also loved how everything wasn't automatically all good between the two either after they made a deal that would help both of them. Van had quit for a reason and things weren't sunshine and daisy's as if nothing had happened before. Their relationship had it's ups and downs before it stabilized which I loved. They went having a weird semi-mutual respect for each other but were just acquaintances, to being friends, to having unspoken feelings to one another, to actually being together by the end of the book. It wasn't a smooth ride to get from A to Z, but it wasn't filled with obstacles of toxicity either. It felt like their relationship with one another was genuinely evolving at an appropriate and satisfying pace. Love them.
Now to them individually. I love Van as a main character. She's mature, nice, quick tempered, hard-working, funny, and is rooted in being human, not just a stereotype or caricature. She's gone through a lot of shit with her biological family, with dealing with Aiden, her concerns for her best friend, and her own dreams and journey. It never felt like her character was compromised for the sake of drama. She approached problems and people(often these intersect) with a level of civility, but also not to the point of being annoyingly too nice. She stood up for herself, she got angry, she explained how she felt and why, and she had sympathy for those close to her, even if she felt like they had done something wrong to her(this is specifically with Aiden). Van was also grounded by the fact that Zapata didn't make her the best at everything just for the sake of making her a main character that was perfect. Van was good and bad at things, and wasn't given the main character treatment of outshining everyone or having unrealistic success. Van had good but limited exposure as a grapgic design artist, so she wasn't getting crowded by people at a convention for her talent. Van participated in a marathon but in training wasn't able to jog the full 26 miles, and she didn't magically gain the ability to the day of the race even after getting a pep talk from Aiden. Van was the main character, but she wasn't treated like she was the main character in her world. She knew what she wanted, what she expected, how she felt, and was a perfectly flawed, but understandable and developed character. I never felt bored having her be the main character we followed, and I never felt the need to skim through her thoughts/inner monologues.
Now to Aiden, yes he was an absolute asshole for the first 150 or so pages of the book. But Zapata had Van refine him into someone who you can genuinely care and root for. He wasn't the way he was, an inconsiderate jackass who was also a loner, for no reason. But those reasons didn't guilt trip the reader into liking him as an individual and not just the relationship he's developing with Van. Now yes part of his backstory is definitely traumatic and upsetting, but in my opinion Zapata doesn't write in a way to where we're meant to ignore the flaws in his personality that were probably caused by his past. In fact she uses it to strengthen his character and his actions towards others throughout the entire book. Which again wasn't justifying how he treated Van in this first section of the book, but it helps us understand where he's coming from, and makes us appreciate his character transition more and more as the book moves on. I mentioned this a little earlier, but Aiden throughout the book would realize things about Van that he had missed or ignored about her, and how he treated her. Such as her leg injury, or how she played fantasy football with his roommate Zach, or how he quite literally never cared to actively learn anything about her before she quit. Which again is never ignored, it's brought up by both leading characters multiple times. The faults in his character and how he treated Van isn't ignored for the sake of bringing them closer together. I did want to punch him sometimes in the first 150 pages of the book, but his character cleans up really nice as the story progresses and he becomes a fully supportive and caring guy who stays true to is more closed, 'not giving a shit' personality. (Also yes if someone had come to my apartment to beg me to come back to help him multiples times after he was told no, I would be concerned and scared for my safety. But this is fiction so I have the advantage of seeing his actual context, intents and reasons so I'm fine with ignoring this.)
A more subtly done message in the book that I liked was that not everything needs to be wrapped up and given closure. Van has a terrible family and in a lot of books, the main character would have resolved their issues with said family or had a final "fuck you" monologue to them. But that wasn't the case here. Van simply decided she didn't want to be anywhere near them anymore. She didn't need them to understand why, she didn't feel the need to keep on trying with them, and she didn't need to have some final showdown with them. She decided for her own comfort and mental health, that she didn't need to which I respect. Far to often do we as people feel like we need to have some closure from the ones who wronged us, that we can't be happy without it. But we can, and Van showed that.
One last thing I do want to mention though is that I wish that the side character plots were wrapped up more cleanly. Diana had her side plot with her boyfriend physically abusing her near the end of the book, but then nothing is really done with it. It literally just served to make Van more sad at that point in the story which isn't exactly what I would call great writing. Zach is also kind of left in the dust near the end of the book as well, he's randomly side lined from running the marathon with Van which they had been training for, for most of the book, because he broke his ankle. This was also done for the sake of Van feeling more alone and making her more sad. Now yes Zach's story was more properly concluded in the epilogue, more then Diana's was, I just wish they were both handled better in the end.
Overall though I absolutely adore this book. I understand why people rave over it and Mariana Zapata and I'll definitely have to look at her other works now because I can't deny talent when I see it.
Something that immediately stood out to me as I read The Wall of Winnipeg and Me was the pacing. Zapata made those 600+ pages go by in a breeze. I never felt like the story was dragging on too much. It wasn't too slow to where I would get bored, and it didn't go to fast to where I was left confused on what was going on. The pacing was perfect. Part of why it was so good was that the story never made any pit stops for minor side plots. When it came to Van's family drama, it wasn't ignored at all, but we didn't spend pages among pages dealing with it. We saw that Van went to her mom's birthday party, what was going to go down was established, but we didn't get any fluff to draw out this part of the story. In fact in ended shortly after Van arrived. Afterwards we were told what happened in a smooth and effortless way while also highlighting how it affected Van. It also let the readers get to scenes and characters that they cared about more faster and not making them skim through needless fluff. She also didn't give us the typical relationship-breaking drama in the 3rd act of the book which almost every romance and YA book has at it's climax. But to my pleasant surprise, nothing was pulled out from the rug under me to randomly force our main characters to have a giant dispute just for the sake of being a cookie cutter YA/romance book.
I also loved how isolated the story was, it had these side plots as mentioned earlier, but for the most part it focused in on our 2 main characters and lead supporting character being Van, Aiden, and Zach. The passage of time felt seem-less. In a lot of romance novels authors tend to have a lot of scenes that aren't necessarily fluff, but are noticeably less interesting to read about then others. That wasn't the case here at all. Every scene felt interesting and that it had a reason to be there that wasn't a drag to get through. Zapata made great use of these scenes that could have been an obstacle for the reader to get through, and turned them into great character and plot building moments. I wouldn't take out any of them.
Another thing I loved how drawn out the main plot point of the synopsis was. The readers are told that essentially Van is working for Aiden as his assistant, but that she had enough of the way he was treating her and quit. Only for him to come back and beg her to return. Not only was this important plot not rushed at all, it didn't give away how the rest of the book was going to specifically go. In a lot of books of any genre, the founding plot line that dives the rest of the book is often put into motion fairly quickly, around 20 pages or less, but this book spent 85 pages to execute it. Now some of you may think that's preposterous, but it was honestly a great decision by the author. Zapata spent those 85 pages to thoroughly establish the foundation of both Van and Aiden's characters individually, and what their relationship was like at the start of the story. It's because of this well-established starting point that the book flows as well as it does, because we know exactly where these characters stand, what their fundamental beliefs are, behavioral tendencies, all of it. Now we obviously don't know everything to the fullest extent by any means, but it's this writing choice that makes EVERY scene that follows it for the rest of the book so much more worth it.
Which leads me to talking about the best thing in this book. The RELATIONSHIP. Watching how both Van and Aiden progress throughout the story was infatuating because I loved just about every scene they shared. They started with seemingly nothing of mutual personal value and appreciation, but slowly(but still at a good pace) grew closer and closer to each other. What also made it so satisfying was the characters themselves acknowledging it, from Van being surprised that Aiden remembered and knew things about her she though he didn't care enough to notice, and Aiden being reminded of how before Van came back he really didn't treat her right, how he didn't notice things he should have after working with her for 2-3 years. None of this happened abruptly either, it all happened across the entirety of the book. We got to see both small and big details arise in their scenes which indicated how far their relationship was at any given point in the story. I also loved how everything wasn't automatically all good between the two either after they made a deal that would help both of them. Van had quit for a reason and things weren't sunshine and daisy's as if nothing had happened before. Their relationship had it's ups and downs before it stabilized which I loved. They went having a weird semi-mutual respect for each other but were just acquaintances, to being friends, to having unspoken feelings to one another, to actually being together by the end of the book. It wasn't a smooth ride to get from A to Z, but it wasn't filled with obstacles of toxicity either. It felt like their relationship with one another was genuinely evolving at an appropriate and satisfying pace. Love them.
Now to them individually. I love Van as a main character. She's mature, nice, quick tempered, hard-working, funny, and is rooted in being human, not just a stereotype or caricature. She's gone through a lot of shit with her biological family, with dealing with Aiden, her concerns for her best friend, and her own dreams and journey. It never felt like her character was compromised for the sake of drama. She approached problems and people(often these intersect) with a level of civility, but also not to the point of being annoyingly too nice. She stood up for herself, she got angry, she explained how she felt and why, and she had sympathy for those close to her, even if she felt like they had done something wrong to her(this is specifically with Aiden). Van was also grounded by the fact that Zapata didn't make her the best at everything just for the sake of making her a main character that was perfect. Van was good and bad at things, and wasn't given the main character treatment of outshining everyone or having unrealistic success. Van had good but limited exposure as a grapgic design artist, so she wasn't getting crowded by people at a convention for her talent. Van participated in a marathon but in training wasn't able to jog the full 26 miles, and she didn't magically gain the ability to the day of the race even after getting a pep talk from Aiden. Van was the main character, but she wasn't treated like she was the main character in her world. She knew what she wanted, what she expected, how she felt, and was a perfectly flawed, but understandable and developed character. I never felt bored having her be the main character we followed, and I never felt the need to skim through her thoughts/inner monologues.
Now to Aiden, yes he was an absolute asshole for the first 150 or so pages of the book. But Zapata had Van refine him into someone who you can genuinely care and root for. He wasn't the way he was, an inconsiderate jackass who was also a loner, for no reason. But those reasons didn't guilt trip the reader into liking him as an individual and not just the relationship he's developing with Van. Now yes part of his backstory is definitely traumatic and upsetting, but in my opinion Zapata doesn't write in a way to where we're meant to ignore the flaws in his personality that were probably caused by his past. In fact she uses it to strengthen his character and his actions towards others throughout the entire book. Which again wasn't justifying how he treated Van in this first section of the book, but it helps us understand where he's coming from, and makes us appreciate his character transition more and more as the book moves on. I mentioned this a little earlier, but Aiden throughout the book would realize things about Van that he had missed or ignored about her, and how he treated her. Such as her leg injury, or how she played fantasy football with his roommate Zach, or how he quite literally never cared to actively learn anything about her before she quit. Which again is never ignored, it's brought up by both leading characters multiple times. The faults in his character and how he treated Van isn't ignored for the sake of bringing them closer together. I did want to punch him sometimes in the first 150 pages of the book, but his character cleans up really nice as the story progresses and he becomes a fully supportive and caring guy who stays true to is more closed, 'not giving a shit' personality. (Also yes if someone had come to my apartment to beg me to come back to help him multiples times after he was told no, I would be concerned and scared for my safety. But this is fiction so I have the advantage of seeing his actual context, intents and reasons so I'm fine with ignoring this.)
A more subtly done message in the book that I liked was that not everything needs to be wrapped up and given closure. Van has a terrible family and in a lot of books, the main character would have resolved their issues with said family or had a final "fuck you" monologue to them. But that wasn't the case here. Van simply decided she didn't want to be anywhere near them anymore. She didn't need them to understand why, she didn't feel the need to keep on trying with them, and she didn't need to have some final showdown with them. She decided for her own comfort and mental health, that she didn't need to which I respect. Far to often do we as people feel like we need to have some closure from the ones who wronged us, that we can't be happy without it. But we can, and Van showed that.
One last thing I do want to mention though is that I wish that the side character plots were wrapped up more cleanly. Diana had her side plot with her boyfriend physically abusing her near the end of the book, but then nothing is really done with it. It literally just served to make Van more sad at that point in the story which isn't exactly what I would call great writing. Zach is also kind of left in the dust near the end of the book as well, he's randomly side lined from running the marathon with Van which they had been training for, for most of the book, because he broke his ankle. This was also done for the sake of Van feeling more alone and making her more sad. Now yes Zach's story was more properly concluded in the epilogue, more then Diana's was, I just wish they were both handled better in the end.
Overall though I absolutely adore this book. I understand why people rave over it and Mariana Zapata and I'll definitely have to look at her other works now because I can't deny talent when I see it.
(EDIT: I've changed my review from 4 starts to 3 stars. My reasoning will be close to the bottom of this review.)
At long last I have finished The Folk Of the Air trilogy. Just as the other 2 books I had high expectations for the finale, and for the most part those expectations were met.
Something The Queen of Nothing did great with that it's predecessor, The Wicked King, lacked was character work. It felt like most characters old and new got the attention and depth that they deserved. Most of the supporting cast got proper moments where their personalities shined and was a welcoming reminder of what made them such enticing characters to read about to begin with.
A new character that I absolutely adored was Grima Mog. She was an extremely entertaining person to read about, whether her dialogue was subtle or loud, she always stole a glance in her scenes. It was also an interesting dynamic to have another Red Cap in the story that wasn't Madoc.
Speaking of, while I didn't really enjoy the time spent in the Court of Teeth(which I will get into later), I did enjoy the moments it gave Jude and Madoc. From their heartfelt conversation that Madoc thought he was having with Taryn, to him impaling Jude with his sword and asking Grima Mog to return his daughters, I absolutely loved the detailed attention he was given in the first half of the story.
Another character I want to make note of is Taryn, in the Wicked King she felt so much more distant then she did in the Cruel Prince, so I was glad to see that her familiar warmness came back in The Queen of Nothing. She felt characterized as the caring and nimble sister that we initially met, yet more matured then what she used to be. She no longer felt like an empty shell of the person we first knew her as. On that note I also loved the family dynamic between the siblings in this book more then either of the two before it. They always felt at odds with each other, even if they weren't necessarily. But here they truly did feel like they were supporting one another at all times. Vive and Taryn coming to Jude's rescue from Madoc was an amazing scene, and the first we we truly saw the sisters standing up together at odds with Madoc. Wonderful work with all of them.
Some other characters I want to talk about are our favorite spies in the shadows. Bomb, Roach, and Ghost. It was nice to see their open-ended stories come to a close and that they were given more time to show their personalities, and not just their skill set. It is a shame that the Roach was out of commission for most of the story, but I can look past that since he got the most page time in previous books. It was nice to see the Ghosts reasoning for his betrayal in The Wicked King and how scary it can be for someone to know your true name. Though I do wish that he was given a little more in the 2nd half of the book as he kind of just faded to the background after he was released from the orders Madoc gave him. We're told that he's watching over Taryn, though I am bit confused on his motivations there. Is he doing it because Taryn was married to Locke? Is he grateful to her for releasing him from Madocs orders? Has he developed feelings for her? That was just unclear to me.
Lastly in regards to characters I would like to talk about Jude and Cardan. As always I loved them and their moments together, and I think they really shined in the 2nd half of the book. Partly because Cardan had very little page time in the first half. We really got to see how far Cardan had come from The Cruel Prince where he was perceived as being a chaotic evil type of character, to being chaotic neutral in the Wicked King, to finishing as chaotic good in The Queen of Nothing. He retains his devilish nature that made the readers fall in love with him, while also giving him the substance fit for a good king. Jude in the first half was just kind of "meh" to me because her character wasn't really given anything new to work with the moment she was accidentally captured by Madoc. I thought it was really interesting to see her cope with being exiled to the human world and how she was essentially a bounty hunter picking up odd jobs. But after she was accidentally captured by Madoc, She felt like the same character she was in the last book. Things in the Court of Teeth only picked up for her when she was trying to rescue Ghost and escape Madoc. Luckily though she was done justice for the rest of the book. It was cute seeing her and Cardan trying to deal with their misunderstanding and fall into sync with each other. But what really made things interesting was her adjustment to being recognized as the High Queen, before and after Cardan transformed into a snake. The contrast between her trying to figure out how to allow herself to be treated, and being forced to take charge when Cardan wasn't around anymore was exhilarating. Without Cardan there, Jude was forced into a corner in the court. She had to either sink or swim, and watching her find the strength to swim and command the court in the wake of Madoc, the Court of Teeth, and the snake was by far the best part of this book. I also liked the punishments she gave in the epilogue, they felt just, interesting, and not a cop out from the author to have an all happy ending, especially for Madoc.
Now with the characters out of the way, lets get into the story. Im going to be straightforward with this, the 2nd half of this book saved it from being 3 stars. I wouldn't say I was exactly bored with the first half, but I found myself constantly wanting more and different then what we got. I would have loved to see Jude being stuck in the mortal world more and how she from there would interact with Faerie. I would have loved to have there be more page time of Jude disguised in Faerie in fear of being caught. I would have loved to have more focus on Jude and Cardan before she got taken by Madoc and the letter Cardan was sending her. I would have loved to have more page time of Jude, Cardan, and the Roach trying to navigate the Court of Teeth since we barley got anything with that. This is a similar issue that I had with The Wicked King, so many great plots in this book, but so many are half-baked in the first 150 pages. There was almost nothing really interesting that happened in the Court of Teeth, I understand why we were sent there for the sake of the plot the author had in mind, but I can't help but wish we were given something else throughout our time in this part of the story. Hell I probably would have preferred we not go to the Court of Teeth at all and focus on the other interesting plot elements that were set up beforehand. Because what we got in the first half was just not up to the standard I was expecting.
But as I said in my paragraph about Carden and Jude, everything was so much better once we got into the 2nd half. Cardan and Jude properly reuniting with proper attention was a breath of fresh air I desperately needed after feeling left unsatisfied after the Court of Teeth. Watching their dynamic together and with the rest of the kingdom as a united, ruling entity was extremely entertaining, and it was fun seeing those who were supportive and opposed to it from all different corners of the kingdom. I also liked the added touch to have Fand introduced as a gentle reminder to where Jude started at and what she wanted so long ago. Jude being the only high ruler left after Cardan was transformed into a snake was again a great experience to read about and watching her navigate her kingdom and her enemies was a sight to behold. Now with all the praise for Jude said, I also want to take a moment to appreciate Cardan. It never felt like we really lost his core personality despite how he's matured and a scene that amplifies that is in the speech he gave about how loyalty should be to the rulers and not the crown. To which he then destroys the crown and asks for loyalty from his previous subjects. Giving them the choice to truly chose him. While the entire prophecy was a little too much on those nose for my liking, and I would have liked some more subtly, I was still absolutely infatuated with how far Cardan had come in this scene. I will say though I would have appreciated a little more displays of emotion from Cardan once he and Jude were alone after he was freed. We got a little conversation about how he felt when he was a snake, but it wasn't as in-depth as I was hoping for and felt a little surface level. Which to be fair, Cardan has never been a very emotionally open character, so I suppose it makes sense. I just wish we got a little more of an emotional reunion.
(EDIT: This paragraph is why im coming back to my review and changed it's rating to 3 stars).
So in retrospective after letting my initial feelings for the book fade, an issue that I found myself thinking about was the lack of tension in the 2nd half of the book, specifically the climax. While I said earlier I loved how Jude developed in this latter half, I can't deny the fact that she was never pushed enough. Yes she struggled a little bit, but most issues she faced was resolved too quickly or she was somewhat spoon fed the solution. Unlike in the other books it didn't feel like she was pushed to her limits, that she was actually pushed into a corner. The closest we get to that is when she's stabbed by Madoc, which was a great, high tension scene. But it's at the half way mark of the book. We never see Jude pushed like that again. I never felt like there was any actual high stakes danger even if the plot said there was. This point is spoken even louder by the fact that Jude was easily able to slay the serpent, she feels a little hesitant at first, but that's quickly resolved and she just does it with relative ease. The entire second half is anti-climatic to what you would expect from the last book in a trilogy. At first I didn't mind it at all, but now that i'm no longer on the hype I felt from finishing a beloved trilogy, this big flaw became more and more abundent. I still love the series and I enjoy this book, but I felt it was appropriate to lower my rating.
With all that has been said and done, despite any critiques I gave this series, I have no regrets getting as emotionally invested in it as I did. This was a great gateway back into fantasy and I'm looking forward to Holly Blacks future projects.
At long last I have finished The Folk Of the Air trilogy. Just as the other 2 books I had high expectations for the finale, and for the most part those expectations were met.
Something The Queen of Nothing did great with that it's predecessor, The Wicked King, lacked was character work. It felt like most characters old and new got the attention and depth that they deserved. Most of the supporting cast got proper moments where their personalities shined and was a welcoming reminder of what made them such enticing characters to read about to begin with.
A new character that I absolutely adored was Grima Mog. She was an extremely entertaining person to read about, whether her dialogue was subtle or loud, she always stole a glance in her scenes. It was also an interesting dynamic to have another Red Cap in the story that wasn't Madoc.
Speaking of, while I didn't really enjoy the time spent in the Court of Teeth(which I will get into later), I did enjoy the moments it gave Jude and Madoc. From their heartfelt conversation that Madoc thought he was having with Taryn, to him impaling Jude with his sword and asking Grima Mog to return his daughters, I absolutely loved the detailed attention he was given in the first half of the story.
Another character I want to make note of is Taryn, in the Wicked King she felt so much more distant then she did in the Cruel Prince, so I was glad to see that her familiar warmness came back in The Queen of Nothing. She felt characterized as the caring and nimble sister that we initially met, yet more matured then what she used to be. She no longer felt like an empty shell of the person we first knew her as. On that note I also loved the family dynamic between the siblings in this book more then either of the two before it. They always felt at odds with each other, even if they weren't necessarily. But here they truly did feel like they were supporting one another at all times. Vive and Taryn coming to Jude's rescue from Madoc was an amazing scene, and the first we we truly saw the sisters standing up together at odds with Madoc. Wonderful work with all of them.
Some other characters I want to talk about are our favorite spies in the shadows. Bomb, Roach, and Ghost. It was nice to see their open-ended stories come to a close and that they were given more time to show their personalities, and not just their skill set. It is a shame that the Roach was out of commission for most of the story, but I can look past that since he got the most page time in previous books. It was nice to see the Ghosts reasoning for his betrayal in The Wicked King and how scary it can be for someone to know your true name. Though I do wish that he was given a little more in the 2nd half of the book as he kind of just faded to the background after he was released from the orders Madoc gave him. We're told that he's watching over Taryn, though I am bit confused on his motivations there. Is he doing it because Taryn was married to Locke? Is he grateful to her for releasing him from Madocs orders? Has he developed feelings for her? That was just unclear to me.
Lastly in regards to characters I would like to talk about Jude and Cardan. As always I loved them and their moments together, and I think they really shined in the 2nd half of the book. Partly because Cardan had very little page time in the first half. We really got to see how far Cardan had come from The Cruel Prince where he was perceived as being a chaotic evil type of character, to being chaotic neutral in the Wicked King, to finishing as chaotic good in The Queen of Nothing. He retains his devilish nature that made the readers fall in love with him, while also giving him the substance fit for a good king. Jude in the first half was just kind of "meh" to me because her character wasn't really given anything new to work with the moment she was accidentally captured by Madoc. I thought it was really interesting to see her cope with being exiled to the human world and how she was essentially a bounty hunter picking up odd jobs. But after she was accidentally captured by Madoc, She felt like the same character she was in the last book. Things in the Court of Teeth only picked up for her when she was trying to rescue Ghost and escape Madoc. Luckily though she was done justice for the rest of the book. It was cute seeing her and Cardan trying to deal with their misunderstanding and fall into sync with each other. But what really made things interesting was her adjustment to being recognized as the High Queen, before and after Cardan transformed into a snake. The contrast between her trying to figure out how to allow herself to be treated, and being forced to take charge when Cardan wasn't around anymore was exhilarating. Without Cardan there, Jude was forced into a corner in the court. She had to either sink or swim, and watching her find the strength to swim and command the court in the wake of Madoc, the Court of Teeth, and the snake was by far the best part of this book. I also liked the punishments she gave in the epilogue, they felt just, interesting, and not a cop out from the author to have an all happy ending, especially for Madoc.
Now with the characters out of the way, lets get into the story. Im going to be straightforward with this, the 2nd half of this book saved it from being 3 stars. I wouldn't say I was exactly bored with the first half, but I found myself constantly wanting more and different then what we got. I would have loved to see Jude being stuck in the mortal world more and how she from there would interact with Faerie. I would have loved to have there be more page time of Jude disguised in Faerie in fear of being caught. I would have loved to have more focus on Jude and Cardan before she got taken by Madoc and the letter Cardan was sending her. I would have loved to have more page time of Jude, Cardan, and the Roach trying to navigate the Court of Teeth since we barley got anything with that. This is a similar issue that I had with The Wicked King, so many great plots in this book, but so many are half-baked in the first 150 pages. There was almost nothing really interesting that happened in the Court of Teeth, I understand why we were sent there for the sake of the plot the author had in mind, but I can't help but wish we were given something else throughout our time in this part of the story. Hell I probably would have preferred we not go to the Court of Teeth at all and focus on the other interesting plot elements that were set up beforehand. Because what we got in the first half was just not up to the standard I was expecting.
But as I said in my paragraph about Carden and Jude, everything was so much better once we got into the 2nd half. Cardan and Jude properly reuniting with proper attention was a breath of fresh air I desperately needed after feeling left unsatisfied after the Court of Teeth. Watching their dynamic together and with the rest of the kingdom as a united, ruling entity was extremely entertaining, and it was fun seeing those who were supportive and opposed to it from all different corners of the kingdom. I also liked the added touch to have Fand introduced as a gentle reminder to where Jude started at and what she wanted so long ago. Jude being the only high ruler left after Cardan was transformed into a snake was again a great experience to read about and watching her navigate her kingdom and her enemies was a sight to behold. Now with all the praise for Jude said, I also want to take a moment to appreciate Cardan. It never felt like we really lost his core personality despite how he's matured and a scene that amplifies that is in the speech he gave about how loyalty should be to the rulers and not the crown. To which he then destroys the crown and asks for loyalty from his previous subjects. Giving them the choice to truly chose him. While the entire prophecy was a little too much on those nose for my liking, and I would have liked some more subtly, I was still absolutely infatuated with how far Cardan had come in this scene. I will say though I would have appreciated a little more displays of emotion from Cardan once he and Jude were alone after he was freed. We got a little conversation about how he felt when he was a snake, but it wasn't as in-depth as I was hoping for and felt a little surface level. Which to be fair, Cardan has never been a very emotionally open character, so I suppose it makes sense. I just wish we got a little more of an emotional reunion.
(EDIT: This paragraph is why im coming back to my review and changed it's rating to 3 stars).
So in retrospective after letting my initial feelings for the book fade, an issue that I found myself thinking about was the lack of tension in the 2nd half of the book, specifically the climax. While I said earlier I loved how Jude developed in this latter half, I can't deny the fact that she was never pushed enough. Yes she struggled a little bit, but most issues she faced was resolved too quickly or she was somewhat spoon fed the solution. Unlike in the other books it didn't feel like she was pushed to her limits, that she was actually pushed into a corner. The closest we get to that is when she's stabbed by Madoc, which was a great, high tension scene. But it's at the half way mark of the book. We never see Jude pushed like that again. I never felt like there was any actual high stakes danger even if the plot said there was. This point is spoken even louder by the fact that Jude was easily able to slay the serpent, she feels a little hesitant at first, but that's quickly resolved and she just does it with relative ease. The entire second half is anti-climatic to what you would expect from the last book in a trilogy. At first I didn't mind it at all, but now that i'm no longer on the hype I felt from finishing a beloved trilogy, this big flaw became more and more abundent. I still love the series and I enjoy this book, but I felt it was appropriate to lower my rating.
With all that has been said and done, despite any critiques I gave this series, I have no regrets getting as emotionally invested in it as I did. This was a great gateway back into fantasy and I'm looking forward to Holly Blacks future projects.
Just as the first book in this trilogy, Holly Black wove an excellent story that uses it's unique world to amazing benefits. Something that I appreciate about the Wicked King is that the pace of the story felt much faster and generally more cohesive then the Cruel Prince. While the Cruel Prince did an amazing job with introducing us to the Faerie, The Wicked Kings seeks to utilize it in a position of familiarity that the readers didn't have with the first book.
I absolutely loved watching Jude run the kingdom in Cardon's place, it allowed her to show just how much of a strategist she is, and is a constant reminder of how powerful it is to be able to be a liar without extra deceit or word play.
Despite this being the more popular and praised book, I felt as if The Wicked King lacked some character depth and satisfying endings/cliff hangers to established plot points. besides Jude, Cardan, and the League of Shadows, the rest of the characters felt like carbon copies of who they were in the last book, but with less exploration and time dedicated to them. Most of the se characters were still really fun to watch, but something that I loved about the Cruel Prince was how defined and fleshed out the characters were, the same simply can't be said here.
Also while the Wicked King had great plotlines such as the struggle to maintain power, who the traitor was, Jude being kidnapped, Blaekin, and Cardans rise to true power, some felt too rushed or has a conclusion or twist that felt unearned. Jude's struggle to maintain power over Cardan and the kingdom, as well as the mystery of who the traitor were great, they were the best part of the story. But the kidnapping which in theory should have been another knock out, lacked substance. Jude's plotline with Blaekin and their duel felt way too rushed, and the final twist with Cardan deceiving Jude with the promise of marriage felt unearned. These major plot points could have used more time devoted to them so they could be fully developed. Great ideas and possibilities, and I did enjoy them, I just feel like Holly Black could have made them even better then what they ended up being.
While I did just give major critiques of how the characters and major plot points were handled, make no mistake that I did absolutely love this story. The pacing was great, the traitor twist was fun, I adored how Jude's character was utilized, and how we got to see Cardan in a different but still familiar light. The plotlines are great and they keep you wanting more, I just wish that some of them got more time to shine. If the ones I critiqued got maybe 5 more pages, then this book would have been another easy 5 start review. Which just goes to show that despite what I had to say, this is without a doubt a fantastic read.
A wonderful book in a wonderful series. I'm looking forward to seeing where Jude's story goes next in The Queen of Nothing. With the Cruel Prince and the Wicked King, I have nothing but high expectations that I have no doubt will be met.
I absolutely loved watching Jude run the kingdom in Cardon's place, it allowed her to show just how much of a strategist she is, and is a constant reminder of how powerful it is to be able to be a liar without extra deceit or word play.
Despite this being the more popular and praised book, I felt as if The Wicked King lacked some character depth and satisfying endings/cliff hangers to established plot points. besides Jude, Cardan, and the League of Shadows, the rest of the characters felt like carbon copies of who they were in the last book, but with less exploration and time dedicated to them. Most of the se characters were still really fun to watch, but something that I loved about the Cruel Prince was how defined and fleshed out the characters were, the same simply can't be said here.
Also while the Wicked King had great plotlines such as the struggle to maintain power, who the traitor was, Jude being kidnapped, Blaekin, and Cardans rise to true power, some felt too rushed or has a conclusion or twist that felt unearned. Jude's struggle to maintain power over Cardan and the kingdom, as well as the mystery of who the traitor were great, they were the best part of the story. But the kidnapping which in theory should have been another knock out, lacked substance. Jude's plotline with Blaekin and their duel felt way too rushed, and the final twist with Cardan deceiving Jude with the promise of marriage felt unearned. These major plot points could have used more time devoted to them so they could be fully developed. Great ideas and possibilities, and I did enjoy them, I just feel like Holly Black could have made them even better then what they ended up being.
While I did just give major critiques of how the characters and major plot points were handled, make no mistake that I did absolutely love this story. The pacing was great, the traitor twist was fun, I adored how Jude's character was utilized, and how we got to see Cardan in a different but still familiar light. The plotlines are great and they keep you wanting more, I just wish that some of them got more time to shine. If the ones I critiqued got maybe 5 more pages, then this book would have been another easy 5 start review. Which just goes to show that despite what I had to say, this is without a doubt a fantastic read.
A wonderful book in a wonderful series. I'm looking forward to seeing where Jude's story goes next in The Queen of Nothing. With the Cruel Prince and the Wicked King, I have nothing but high expectations that I have no doubt will be met.
This was a really nice read. At first I had a hard time getting into the stories because I didn't think I'd like their premeses from the first page. But once I let myself just read them without any expectations I found myself wanting more and more from each story. Not wanting any of them to end. Now for some of them I still felt like it was a slog to get through, but after looking over all the stories that I liked, I was surprised by just how many I really enjoyed.
Another thing I first thought was a downside, but now look at as something beneficial, is that a lot of these stories don't have obvious allegories, and that when I finished them I felt like I had missed something. If these stories were all very surface level, or dumbed down to make sure that everything was easily understandable on the first read, it would have taken the complexity that each story was trying to convey. Not only that but this complexity gives me the opportunity to go back to any story and discover a different theme or message that I didn't see on my first time around.
The last benefit I'll mention is the diverse creative liberty that the author took with each story. There were multiple different types of characters, relationship dynamics, cultures and environments, as well as a wide range of story telling formats used. Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory is far from being a one note series of short stories and was worth the almost full month it took me to read it.
My favorites were:
- Missed Connection - m4w
- Lies We Told Each Other
- These Are Facts
- Rufus
- Rules For Taboo
- Up and Comers
- You Want To Know What Plays Are Like
- The Poem
- The Average of All Possible Things
- Most Of You That You Already Are
Another thing I first thought was a downside, but now look at as something beneficial, is that a lot of these stories don't have obvious allegories, and that when I finished them I felt like I had missed something. If these stories were all very surface level, or dumbed down to make sure that everything was easily understandable on the first read, it would have taken the complexity that each story was trying to convey. Not only that but this complexity gives me the opportunity to go back to any story and discover a different theme or message that I didn't see on my first time around.
The last benefit I'll mention is the diverse creative liberty that the author took with each story. There were multiple different types of characters, relationship dynamics, cultures and environments, as well as a wide range of story telling formats used. Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory is far from being a one note series of short stories and was worth the almost full month it took me to read it.
My favorites were:
- Missed Connection - m4w
- Lies We Told Each Other
- These Are Facts
- Rufus
- Rules For Taboo
- Up and Comers
- You Want To Know What Plays Are Like
- The Poem
- The Average of All Possible Things
- Most Of You That You Already Are
This is my 2nd Mariana Zapata book and she had me hooked again!
I loved this book and something that surprised me was just how much I loved the supporting cast. Typically in romance books I tend to just care about the main couple, but here I was in love with Gabby's friendship with Eli, Mason, Gordo, and Carter. In the first half I was actually a lot more invested in her relationship with them then I was with Sacha. HOWEVER, Gordo was given dust and received little page time compared to Eli and Mason.
I loved how sincere and genuine their friendship was and all of the little details the author put into making it authentic. Their banter was amazing, the support they had for one another, and the small gestors they did, all great. Especially Gabby and Eli, I thought the braiding thing was so sweet. One of the best friendships I've ever read.
I really liked how Gabby was "one of the boys" but also didn't shy away from just being a woman. A lot of times in romance with this trope, the female character is often written as detesting "girly" things, and has a lot of bravado about being one of the boys, but that wasn't how Gabby was. She embraced both and never made a big deal about. It felt natural and it felt right.
Sacha was also really cool. I liked how well he bounced off of Gabby's personality and that he was an actual nice guy, and not a "nice guy." He had clear interests, always had good banter, and his scenes with Gabby were always highlights. Whether that was getting food, hanging out in hotel rooms, playing a game, anything. He always brought a great vibe to the page and reminded the reader why we're rooting for them.
I also appreciated that the romance with Sacha started out as a great friendship first. Romances usually just start with that, the romance, but here we really saw these two characters grow a natural and sincere bond to one another that made us understand why they were so compatible and meant for each other. They felt like real best friends who would take a bullet for one another, and it wasn't forced or out of the blue, it was earned. All of their moments together felt so sweet and intimate and really kept me invested in the book despite there not being really any serious conflict. In the end they fell in love and had their happily ever after, and I completely understand why. I was sold on their chemistry and relationship.
I was a little worried about how they were going to end Gabby's story because by the end of it she still had no idea of what she wanted to do, which was the motive for her going on this tour and it wasn't given really any page time. I was concerned they were just going to make her follow Eli and Sacha around on tours as just a lazy way to handle it. But I'm happy with how that side plot worked out with her not just following Eli or Sacha anymore as a merch girl but is actually running a website for their and 15 other bands for merch. So technically she still their merch girl, but it's now her own business that she's running that she's the boss of that incorporates her love for the bands she toured with.
While I did love this book there are a few things I wish were done differently.
Firstly I didn't really get the whole point of introducing Sacha's mother as a rich snob. She kind of threatened Gabby , judged her for not having her life situation figured out, and pretty much insulted her as well. It just didn't cultivate into anything and had no affect on the plot or any character development at all. The mom isn't even really brought up again afterwards.
Next, this book kind of follows a similar character/romance formula to Zapata's other book, "The Wall of Winnipeg and Me." In the sense that the main character keeps convincing themselves that their love interest isn't actually interested in them. Beyond all reasonable logic and reasoning. In "The Wall of Winnipeg and Me" I understood it a little more since the love interest in book had a multitude of reasons to give the main character unease about his feelings, and even then in the latter quarter it got a little questionable. But here Gabby but quite literally gaslighting herself over and over about Sacha not liking her. Like when he overheard Sacha's 2nd phone call with his ex in the car and then somehow convinced herself that he didn't like her and didn't want any commitments. She was pulling shit out of thin air and I was so confused on how she got to that conclusion. She was the definition of "creating your own problems" like Gabby!!! What's going on in that head of yours??? She would just constantly convince herself that he wasn't interested even after he started calling her cute, adorable, baby, and cuddling up with her. It just got to the point that I thought it was ridiculous just how hell bent Gabby was on manipulating herself.
To go off of the call that Sacha had with his ex, that should not have been what Gabby and Sacha "got together" from. Because as I just said it was completely ridiculous. Gabby was being mess about it and got all sad and bummed out which lead to Sacha needing to convince her that he was, in fact, into her. Starting their relationship. Which did not feel earned! In the grand scheme before this it was earned, but the actual moment itself felt rushed and incomplete. There was all this slow burn, and then the moment the two main characters finally get together it's off of the back of our main girl gaslighting herself for no reason? It just didn't sit right with me and took me out a little.
Also related to the two paragraphs above, I would have appreciated a little more conflict and contrast between Gabby and Sacha. We weren't really given any actual flaw about Sacha, nor a deserved conflict to contrast the two. I loved how this was a heart-warming read, but I also wish the differences between the two were highlighted more and made them more distinct. While at the same time showing that there is an actual conflict that holds some type of stakes that they get work through. Romance was great as it was, but I think it could have been even better.
So overall I still loved this book. I'll probably be reading another book from Mariana Zapata in due time as she just had me hitched in both of the books I've read by her. I highly recommended reading this book, `twas a great time
I loved this book and something that surprised me was just how much I loved the supporting cast. Typically in romance books I tend to just care about the main couple, but here I was in love with Gabby's friendship with Eli, Mason, Gordo, and Carter. In the first half I was actually a lot more invested in her relationship with them then I was with Sacha. HOWEVER, Gordo was given dust and received little page time compared to Eli and Mason.
I loved how sincere and genuine their friendship was and all of the little details the author put into making it authentic. Their banter was amazing, the support they had for one another, and the small gestors they did, all great. Especially Gabby and Eli, I thought the braiding thing was so sweet. One of the best friendships I've ever read.
I really liked how Gabby was "one of the boys" but also didn't shy away from just being a woman. A lot of times in romance with this trope, the female character is often written as detesting "girly" things, and has a lot of bravado about being one of the boys, but that wasn't how Gabby was. She embraced both and never made a big deal about. It felt natural and it felt right.
Sacha was also really cool. I liked how well he bounced off of Gabby's personality and that he was an actual nice guy, and not a "nice guy." He had clear interests, always had good banter, and his scenes with Gabby were always highlights. Whether that was getting food, hanging out in hotel rooms, playing a game, anything. He always brought a great vibe to the page and reminded the reader why we're rooting for them.
I also appreciated that the romance with Sacha started out as a great friendship first. Romances usually just start with that, the romance, but here we really saw these two characters grow a natural and sincere bond to one another that made us understand why they were so compatible and meant for each other. They felt like real best friends who would take a bullet for one another, and it wasn't forced or out of the blue, it was earned. All of their moments together felt so sweet and intimate and really kept me invested in the book despite there not being really any serious conflict. In the end they fell in love and had their happily ever after, and I completely understand why. I was sold on their chemistry and relationship.
I was a little worried about how they were going to end Gabby's story because by the end of it she still had no idea of what she wanted to do, which was the motive for her going on this tour and it wasn't given really any page time. I was concerned they were just going to make her follow Eli and Sacha around on tours as just a lazy way to handle it. But I'm happy with how that side plot worked out with her not just following Eli or Sacha anymore as a merch girl but is actually running a website for their and 15 other bands for merch. So technically she still their merch girl, but it's now her own business that she's running that she's the boss of that incorporates her love for the bands she toured with.
While I did love this book there are a few things I wish were done differently.
Firstly I didn't really get the whole point of introducing Sacha's mother as a rich snob. She kind of threatened Gabby , judged her for not having her life situation figured out, and pretty much insulted her as well. It just didn't cultivate into anything and had no affect on the plot or any character development at all. The mom isn't even really brought up again afterwards.
Next, this book kind of follows a similar character/romance formula to Zapata's other book, "The Wall of Winnipeg and Me." In the sense that the main character keeps convincing themselves that their love interest isn't actually interested in them. Beyond all reasonable logic and reasoning. In "The Wall of Winnipeg and Me" I understood it a little more since the love interest in book had a multitude of reasons to give the main character unease about his feelings, and even then in the latter quarter it got a little questionable. But here Gabby but quite literally gaslighting herself over and over about Sacha not liking her. Like when he overheard Sacha's 2nd phone call with his ex in the car and then somehow convinced herself that he didn't like her and didn't want any commitments. She was pulling shit out of thin air and I was so confused on how she got to that conclusion. She was the definition of "creating your own problems" like Gabby!!! What's going on in that head of yours??? She would just constantly convince herself that he wasn't interested even after he started calling her cute, adorable, baby, and cuddling up with her. It just got to the point that I thought it was ridiculous just how hell bent Gabby was on manipulating herself.
To go off of the call that Sacha had with his ex, that should not have been what Gabby and Sacha "got together" from. Because as I just said it was completely ridiculous. Gabby was being mess about it and got all sad and bummed out which lead to Sacha needing to convince her that he was, in fact, into her. Starting their relationship. Which did not feel earned! In the grand scheme before this it was earned, but the actual moment itself felt rushed and incomplete. There was all this slow burn, and then the moment the two main characters finally get together it's off of the back of our main girl gaslighting herself for no reason? It just didn't sit right with me and took me out a little.
Also related to the two paragraphs above, I would have appreciated a little more conflict and contrast between Gabby and Sacha. We weren't really given any actual flaw about Sacha, nor a deserved conflict to contrast the two. I loved how this was a heart-warming read, but I also wish the differences between the two were highlighted more and made them more distinct. While at the same time showing that there is an actual conflict that holds some type of stakes that they get work through. Romance was great as it was, but I think it could have been even better.
So overall I still loved this book. I'll probably be reading another book from Mariana Zapata in due time as she just had me hitched in both of the books I've read by her. I highly recommended reading this book, `twas a great time
This was a nice book that really hones in on Sasuke and Sakura's character and relationship post-shippuden.
While some seem to think Sasuke's character is different from how he was in shippuden, I think it's a natural, and yet, unfamiliar change for him. Throughout the series we don't really see Sasuke's character show deep affection for anyone that often, so it's natural for some viewers to be thrown off by Sauske's affection and feelings towards Sakura in this novel. However I think how Sasuke feels, and how he acts around Sakura makes sense. The concerns that he has that fuels a lot of intimate moments between the two come from an understandable place that's even given some attention in Bouruto: Next Generation. Sasuke and Sakura have an unusual relationship given just how often he's away and we get to see how that affects him. We also get to see that he truly does care and often thinks about his family. Some people think it's fan-fiction, but I see it as us seeing a side to Sasuke that never had an opportunity to be shown. I don't think he should be a limited character of just being alone, with little shows of any varying emotion. That's one-dimensional and boring.
I also like how we get to see Sakura mature as an adult and a doctor. Her more caring personality shows with the prisoners, as well as her support and understanding with Sauske being away from her and Sarada so much. Her intelligence and compatibility with Sasuke on missions gets to shine as well. Who we see here can easily be seen in the Sakura that we get in Boruto: The Next Generation. Despite the flack this character tends to get, she was a great and enjoyable part of this novel.
This book dives into the relationship dynamics of the Uchiha family which I think is earned. These are 2/3 of our main characters from the original series and shippuden, and let's us see a more intimate side to them. It may not be what some would expect from these characters after Shippuden, but as these characters grow, so does their personalities and how they react to different type of experiences. People are right when they say that Sasuke from Naruto Shippuden wouldn't act the way Sasuke in this novel did, and that's the point. He isn't the same man anymore and that's nicely shown here.
This was a great read for a long time follower of the Naruto series.
While some seem to think Sasuke's character is different from how he was in shippuden, I think it's a natural, and yet, unfamiliar change for him. Throughout the series we don't really see Sasuke's character show deep affection for anyone that often, so it's natural for some viewers to be thrown off by Sauske's affection and feelings towards Sakura in this novel. However I think how Sasuke feels, and how he acts around Sakura makes sense. The concerns that he has that fuels a lot of intimate moments between the two come from an understandable place that's even given some attention in Bouruto: Next Generation. Sasuke and Sakura have an unusual relationship given just how often he's away and we get to see how that affects him. We also get to see that he truly does care and often thinks about his family. Some people think it's fan-fiction, but I see it as us seeing a side to Sasuke that never had an opportunity to be shown. I don't think he should be a limited character of just being alone, with little shows of any varying emotion. That's one-dimensional and boring.
I also like how we get to see Sakura mature as an adult and a doctor. Her more caring personality shows with the prisoners, as well as her support and understanding with Sauske being away from her and Sarada so much. Her intelligence and compatibility with Sasuke on missions gets to shine as well. Who we see here can easily be seen in the Sakura that we get in Boruto: The Next Generation. Despite the flack this character tends to get, she was a great and enjoyable part of this novel.
This book dives into the relationship dynamics of the Uchiha family which I think is earned. These are 2/3 of our main characters from the original series and shippuden, and let's us see a more intimate side to them. It may not be what some would expect from these characters after Shippuden, but as these characters grow, so does their personalities and how they react to different type of experiences. People are right when they say that Sasuke from Naruto Shippuden wouldn't act the way Sasuke in this novel did, and that's the point. He isn't the same man anymore and that's nicely shown here.
This was a great read for a long time follower of the Naruto series.
This was a cute BL manga, but that's kind of all it was too me. I thought the concept was nice, and I was fine with the character archtypes being used that defined Arimura and Yuske, but I didn't feel like I saw their relationship or characters develop. It felt like they were going from point A to point E to point K to point... the entire time. Their change in character and feelings didn't feel natural but that we were being told something about them or how they felt changed just to progress their story.
I did however really like the artwork done here, I thought they look gred and I loved the small and big scenes it emphasized. It was that artwork that helped capture substance of Arimura and Yuske's relationship.
Despite my critiques at the start, I'm still looking forward to reading more from this author. I had a nice time reading it and enjoyed what the story had to offer. The author seems to have a wide range of BL manga they've written which im sure I'll find the same enjoyment from.
I did however really like the artwork done here, I thought they look gred and I loved the small and big scenes it emphasized. It was that artwork that helped capture substance of Arimura and Yuske's relationship.
Despite my critiques at the start, I'm still looking forward to reading more from this author. I had a nice time reading it and enjoyed what the story had to offer. The author seems to have a wide range of BL manga they've written which im sure I'll find the same enjoyment from.
I'd give this a 3.5 rating
After reading Sasuke Retsuden I was really interested in where Sakura's novel would take her character which lead me to reading Sakura Hiden.
What I love about this novel is that it gives a more nuanced look into Sakura as a medical ninja. We get to see just how she's been making a difference through the lens of a post-war ninja world. This side of Sakura often gets over-looked due to how she's poorly written in the manga and anime, so I realy appreciate that we get to see how she's a well-respected, and accomplished medical ninja who's raising and setting the standard, while also adressing real issues with how war can effect not only those on the battlefield, but those at home. Sakura is shown to be constantly at work to improve the lives of shinobi not only at Konoha, but at every village. It's this substance that I wish we got to see more of in the main series.
I also really enjoyed the world-building aspect of everyone's life and relationship now. It's not too much and overbearing the story, but it's nice life details of our favorite characters which is cool to see.
While I liked seeing how Sakura felt about her relationship dynamic with Sasuke leaving the village for his journey, I didn't like how the author washed her character down every time this dynamic got brought up. She would go from a nuanced and interesting individual into caricature that only has one source of motivation and happiness that all stems at Sasuke. Every finer detail about Sakura is just pushed down whenever the story makes her have inner thoughts about where Sasuke is, why isn't he here, does he care about her, etc... I'm not against this type of inner struggle as it can add layers of depth to their relationship, but it's just done in such a regressing way for her character, which really hampered my experience reading.
The main conflict was interesting, I like the idea of a sharingan and biju drug, it's just that the antagonists were shallow, creepy, and uninspired. As well as the fighting sequence being a little bland with a few highlights being Ino using a hawk to pierce Magire, and Sakura counter attacking being pierced by a biju cloak tail. But overall there was just something missing for me here, and I wish Sakura vs Kido was more dynamic.
Overall I did enjoy this story and it did good things with Sakura's character, it just also fell into the same patterns of writing that drag her character down in the main series.
After reading Sasuke Retsuden I was really interested in where Sakura's novel would take her character which lead me to reading Sakura Hiden.
What I love about this novel is that it gives a more nuanced look into Sakura as a medical ninja. We get to see just how she's been making a difference through the lens of a post-war ninja world. This side of Sakura often gets over-looked due to how she's poorly written in the manga and anime, so I realy appreciate that we get to see how she's a well-respected, and accomplished medical ninja who's raising and setting the standard, while also adressing real issues with how war can effect not only those on the battlefield, but those at home. Sakura is shown to be constantly at work to improve the lives of shinobi not only at Konoha, but at every village. It's this substance that I wish we got to see more of in the main series.
I also really enjoyed the world-building aspect of everyone's life and relationship now. It's not too much and overbearing the story, but it's nice life details of our favorite characters which is cool to see.
While I liked seeing how Sakura felt about her relationship dynamic with Sasuke leaving the village for his journey, I didn't like how the author washed her character down every time this dynamic got brought up. She would go from a nuanced and interesting individual into caricature that only has one source of motivation and happiness that all stems at Sasuke. Every finer detail about Sakura is just pushed down whenever the story makes her have inner thoughts about where Sasuke is, why isn't he here, does he care about her, etc... I'm not against this type of inner struggle as it can add layers of depth to their relationship, but it's just done in such a regressing way for her character, which really hampered my experience reading.
The main conflict was interesting, I like the idea of a sharingan and biju drug, it's just that the antagonists were shallow, creepy, and uninspired. As well as the fighting sequence being a little bland with a few highlights being Ino using a hawk to pierce Magire, and Sakura counter attacking being pierced by a biju cloak tail. But overall there was just something missing for me here, and I wish Sakura vs Kido was more dynamic.
Overall I did enjoy this story and it did good things with Sakura's character, it just also fell into the same patterns of writing that drag her character down in the main series.
*DELUXE EDITION*
So I'm actually getting into reading again for the first time since the pandemic hit and this was the first book I've been able to read. So let me tell you that it was an amazing experience reading and has really sewed me back into books. Going in after reading the description of the book I assumed that the story was going to be a somewhat "typical" coming of age/LGBTQ+ story that had a love triangle and also dealt with grief. With the main plot point that would make this story unique was the Leteo Procedure to suppress memories. While it did cover those issues and more, the amount of depth is what blew me away.
Silvera took us in one direction for the first half of the book, we were on the path of a teenager who's going through the grief of his fathers suicide, while also coming to terms with who he was and what those feelings met. The story continued to deal with that throughout the entire book, but how it did changed completely after Aaron kissed Thomas. The tone completely changed and you could feel something was about to happen to Aaron or that he would do something radical which is what we saw when he tried to sneak his way into getting the Leto Procedure to forget that he was gay and had feelings for Thomas so that he could go back to being the perfect boyfriend. but then after he was told he had to wait for his procedure, it happened. Aarons "friends" saw him hugging Thomas. These people that he would always hang out with attacked and beat him nearly to death and then everything came undone, but also became so much more clear.
THE TWIST
When I read this twist, I didn't even realize or was able to process what Silvera had done. My jaw dropped when I realized that Aaron had already had the procedure and we got his backstory about being gay and his relationship With Colin. All of it was making sense. Why his mom and brother anted to get rid of his dads things, why Colin was avoiding Aaron, why his brother seemingly knew what was going on between Aaron and Thomas, and the list of details connecting goes on. While I can see why some readers may have seen this twist coming, I was completely thrown off by it. I had expected the story to go in the very predictable way of Thomas eventually coming out that he was gay and that there would be a love story between him and Aaron but something would happen that would make Aaron do the procedure. But that's not what Silvera did, he didn't take the less layered, easy route. He gave us a young, real character who is struggling to cope and process the reality and tragedies of his life in this world where he isn't widely accepted and that there's an option for him to take all that pain away and to make him "normal." The twist made sense, the motives leading up to it made sense and paralleled what had happened in the present. It was an amazing twist that shifted the story into a multi layered plot that went even more head on with Aarons mental health, grief, sexuality, and the internalized homophobia he faced due to the external homophobia he was beat with.
Silvera let Aaron fight through his pain in all the right and wrong ways that make Aaron feel human to the reader, he gave him real struggles, real grief, and real feelings for someone who's going through what Aaron was. But not only that he took what I had assumed to be a stereotypical LGBTQ+ love triangle and gave all three characters depth that we all loved despite the flaws they also carried. Genevieve wasn't made into the stereotypical, unlikable jealous girlfriend , and Thomas wasn't made into a character who was gay just so the plot could progress in a certain direction. Genevieve was a great, truly caring friend who loved Aaron despite what she knew about him while they were dating. She stood by and supported him through thick and thin because she knew the pain and hardships that he was going through. Thomas was a free spirit who grew to love Aaron as a friend for all that they did and didn't have in common and brought out the best in each other. But was still not forced into being an LGBTQ+ character for the sake of giving the main character a convenient love interest. Instead Silvera showed the strength of platonic, and family love throughout his entire story under the disguise of romantic love.
The original ending of the book left us with Aaron coming to terms with the reality of himself and his grief that he had struggled and fought to suppress during the entire story. Instead of focusing on avoiding the pain, and misdirecting the blame onto his sexuality, he had accepted who he was and who he wanted to be moving forward despite all of that. Which didn't mean he stopped hurting, it didn't mean he was just automatically better after deciding that the Leteo Procedure wasn't for him, he just decided to look at his life in a different perspective with people who did love him, and who did support him for who he was. He made a choice to choose pursing happiness despite the grief that he is still going through.
I will say though that I wasn't sure about how I felt about Aaron getting retrograde amnesia. I can see the connection and why it happened to Aaron, but it also to an extent felt unnecessary. Yes Aaron wanted to forget certain parts of the past and now him not being able to remember new things is paralleling that. I can also see that it's being used to show Aaron the consequences of trying to hide and change who you are can indeed leave permanent damage and change to you, but what did it actually serve for the plot that couldn't have been handled in the existing story without it? The amnesia helped lead Aaron to forgiveness and acceptance of himself, his family, and friends, but I feel as if Aaron could have gotten to that point without being hammered down by life even further. I do see the connections, but that doesn't mean it needed to happen. While reading it felt like extra, unnecessary damage that could have been used to focus more on building Aaron back up into his final mindset. This kid was facing real struggles, real pain that I can see many LGBTQ+ teenagers reasonably going through, but then I was taken out a little bit when the retrograde amnesia came in.
With that said I felt the retrograde amnesia plotline was still well done despite it not necessarily needing to be there. it still added depth and growth to Aaron, his family, friends, and the over arching theme in the book. It effectively fulfilled it's purpose.
Now lastly, the deluxe chapters. I loved this portion of the book. It undid Aarons retrograde amnesia, but still allowed us to actually see what it was like for Aaron, the fact that he had retrograde amnesia didn't just go away with no consequences of pain just for the sake of it. We saw Aaron struggle in a way that was realistic for an entire year, while also showing and maintaining the strong love and friendships he had with his family, Genevieve, and Thomas. So it was so incredibly rewarding to find out that Aaron might be all right. These chapters didn't tare down the consequences of the original ending, but more so refurnished it in a satisfying and deserved way for Aaron. I will say though plotline of Aaron meeting the other Aaron in a therapy group session for the Leteo Procedure patients was kind of tacky. My interpretation was that this Aaron after the story ended would become a love interest for our Aaron which I just felt was shallow. I didn't care for this new character and saw him as more of a friend who can relate to Aarons struggles, but I did not like the undertone implication of a love interest. Though maybe I was reading too much into his interactions with Aaron. Overall the added depth and character moments with Aaron and his social circle was well worth the deluxe copy and I am very pleased that Silvera decided to make this instead of leaving the story on the original ending. The original was great, but the deluxe edition brought it up even more and gave the reader a satisfying and Aaron a deserved ending to his story.
So I'm actually getting into reading again for the first time since the pandemic hit and this was the first book I've been able to read. So let me tell you that it was an amazing experience reading and has really sewed me back into books. Going in after reading the description of the book I assumed that the story was going to be a somewhat "typical" coming of age/LGBTQ+ story that had a love triangle and also dealt with grief. With the main plot point that would make this story unique was the Leteo Procedure to suppress memories. While it did cover those issues and more, the amount of depth is what blew me away.
Silvera took us in one direction for the first half of the book, we were on the path of a teenager who's going through the grief of his fathers suicide, while also coming to terms with who he was and what those feelings met. The story continued to deal with that throughout the entire book, but how it did changed completely after Aaron kissed Thomas. The tone completely changed and you could feel something was about to happen to Aaron or that he would do something radical which is what we saw when he tried to sneak his way into getting the Leto Procedure to forget that he was gay and had feelings for Thomas so that he could go back to being the perfect boyfriend. but then after he was told he had to wait for his procedure, it happened. Aarons "friends" saw him hugging Thomas. These people that he would always hang out with attacked and beat him nearly to death and then everything came undone, but also became so much more clear.
THE TWIST
When I read this twist, I didn't even realize or was able to process what Silvera had done. My jaw dropped when I realized that Aaron had already had the procedure and we got his backstory about being gay and his relationship With Colin. All of it was making sense. Why his mom and brother anted to get rid of his dads things, why Colin was avoiding Aaron, why his brother seemingly knew what was going on between Aaron and Thomas, and the list of details connecting goes on. While I can see why some readers may have seen this twist coming, I was completely thrown off by it. I had expected the story to go in the very predictable way of Thomas eventually coming out that he was gay and that there would be a love story between him and Aaron but something would happen that would make Aaron do the procedure. But that's not what Silvera did, he didn't take the less layered, easy route. He gave us a young, real character who is struggling to cope and process the reality and tragedies of his life in this world where he isn't widely accepted and that there's an option for him to take all that pain away and to make him "normal." The twist made sense, the motives leading up to it made sense and paralleled what had happened in the present. It was an amazing twist that shifted the story into a multi layered plot that went even more head on with Aarons mental health, grief, sexuality, and the internalized homophobia he faced due to the external homophobia he was beat with.
Silvera let Aaron fight through his pain in all the right and wrong ways that make Aaron feel human to the reader, he gave him real struggles, real grief, and real feelings for someone who's going through what Aaron was. But not only that he took what I had assumed to be a stereotypical LGBTQ+ love triangle and gave all three characters depth that we all loved despite the flaws they also carried. Genevieve wasn't made into the stereotypical, unlikable jealous girlfriend , and Thomas wasn't made into a character who was gay just so the plot could progress in a certain direction. Genevieve was a great, truly caring friend who loved Aaron despite what she knew about him while they were dating. She stood by and supported him through thick and thin because she knew the pain and hardships that he was going through. Thomas was a free spirit who grew to love Aaron as a friend for all that they did and didn't have in common and brought out the best in each other. But was still not forced into being an LGBTQ+ character for the sake of giving the main character a convenient love interest. Instead Silvera showed the strength of platonic, and family love throughout his entire story under the disguise of romantic love.
The original ending of the book left us with Aaron coming to terms with the reality of himself and his grief that he had struggled and fought to suppress during the entire story. Instead of focusing on avoiding the pain, and misdirecting the blame onto his sexuality, he had accepted who he was and who he wanted to be moving forward despite all of that. Which didn't mean he stopped hurting, it didn't mean he was just automatically better after deciding that the Leteo Procedure wasn't for him, he just decided to look at his life in a different perspective with people who did love him, and who did support him for who he was. He made a choice to choose pursing happiness despite the grief that he is still going through.
I will say though that I wasn't sure about how I felt about Aaron getting retrograde amnesia. I can see the connection and why it happened to Aaron, but it also to an extent felt unnecessary. Yes Aaron wanted to forget certain parts of the past and now him not being able to remember new things is paralleling that. I can also see that it's being used to show Aaron the consequences of trying to hide and change who you are can indeed leave permanent damage and change to you, but what did it actually serve for the plot that couldn't have been handled in the existing story without it? The amnesia helped lead Aaron to forgiveness and acceptance of himself, his family, and friends, but I feel as if Aaron could have gotten to that point without being hammered down by life even further. I do see the connections, but that doesn't mean it needed to happen. While reading it felt like extra, unnecessary damage that could have been used to focus more on building Aaron back up into his final mindset. This kid was facing real struggles, real pain that I can see many LGBTQ+ teenagers reasonably going through, but then I was taken out a little bit when the retrograde amnesia came in.
With that said I felt the retrograde amnesia plotline was still well done despite it not necessarily needing to be there. it still added depth and growth to Aaron, his family, friends, and the over arching theme in the book. It effectively fulfilled it's purpose.
Now lastly, the deluxe chapters. I loved this portion of the book. It undid Aarons retrograde amnesia, but still allowed us to actually see what it was like for Aaron, the fact that he had retrograde amnesia didn't just go away with no consequences of pain just for the sake of it. We saw Aaron struggle in a way that was realistic for an entire year, while also showing and maintaining the strong love and friendships he had with his family, Genevieve, and Thomas. So it was so incredibly rewarding to find out that Aaron might be all right. These chapters didn't tare down the consequences of the original ending, but more so refurnished it in a satisfying and deserved way for Aaron. I will say though plotline of Aaron meeting the other Aaron in a therapy group session for the Leteo Procedure patients was kind of tacky. My interpretation was that this Aaron after the story ended would become a love interest for our Aaron which I just felt was shallow. I didn't care for this new character and saw him as more of a friend who can relate to Aarons struggles, but I did not like the undertone implication of a love interest. Though maybe I was reading too much into his interactions with Aaron. Overall the added depth and character moments with Aaron and his social circle was well worth the deluxe copy and I am very pleased that Silvera decided to make this instead of leaving the story on the original ending. The original was great, but the deluxe edition brought it up even more and gave the reader a satisfying and Aaron a deserved ending to his story.