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776 reviews

The Lonely Hearts Book Club by Lucy Gilmore

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective relaxing medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

“If I’d known my house was going to turn into the setting of a Jojo Moyes novel, I’d have let them put me in a nursing home in the first place.”


This is one of those feel-good books about friendship. I couldn’t read a bunch of these back to back but it was a refreshing read in between my typical thrillers! Even though it had a sentimental plot line, the writing style was very good and there was a lot of wit and humor that just made this book a delight to read.

I really enjoyed the message of the story— that life is worth living and that relationships are a mess worth making— and that it was encompassed in an unlikely book club made it all the better and is definitely one I would recommend.

As the title suggests, what ends up forming in the pages of this book is a book club full of lonely (inter-generational) hearts. Although, the people take awhile to figure that out.

What adds to the genuine-ness of this book is that not all the problems get solved or have classic happy endings. It’s real life and healing is a process. Most of the time action steps are small and ordinary.

I really liked that Gilmore chose to create a diverse group of book club members, not just in personality but in age. There is so much value in not just surrounding ourselves with people our own age and stage of life. We need the wisdom and experiences of others to speak into our lives and this book portrays well how meaningful friendships cross generational lines.


The book is told with multiple POVs from each of the characters that make up the book club.
Here’s the cast:

Sloane: librarian; instigator of the book club; her older sister died when they were young

“Since the day my sister Emily died… I hadn’t loved anyone who didn’t exist between the covers of a book. At this point, I wasn’t even sure I knew how.”

How others viewed her:

“She was the only person I knew who was capable of genuine, un-ironic joy in other people’s triumphs.”

“An echo with nothing and no one to call her own. A friendly facade. An empty smile. A scared little girl without an opinion of your own, latching on to other people’s bigger and brighter lives because you’re not willing to full live your own.”


Arthur: old curmudgeon and regular library attendee who all the librarians avoid because of his cutting remarks and general grumpiness; his wife died very young

“Mark Twain was a curmudgeon. Ebenezer Scrooge is a curmudgeon. Arthur McLachlan is Satan’s grandfather.”

Maisey: Arthur’s ‘nosy’ neighbor who works as a phone ‘psychic’; she is divorced and her hostile daughter chose to live with her dad and stepmom

“One should never underestimate the staying power of a woman who had literally nowhere else to be.”

“They had no idea how much I needed this: someone to cook for, someone to care about. Someone who might, if I was tied to a hospital bed and knocking on death’s door, be a little sad to see me go.”

“She drove the same way she talked— wildly and without direction.”


Mateo: Sloane’s coworker at the library; lives with his boyfriend Lincoln; has an overbearing mother who is a famous singer

“If there was one thing I was good at, it was pretending I knew what I was doing. When you were a Sharpe, there was only one rule: The show must go on.”

Greg: I don’t want to spoil too much about Greg but his mother had died recently of cancer

Nigel: I can’t tell you his deal without spoilers too but he is also sad



The book club had a unique start.

At the library Sloane encountered Arthur in all his curmudgeonliness. They began a ritual of sorts where they traded literary banter and arguments. Sloane refused to back down from Arthur and gave crap back to him.

Then one day she realizes he hadn’t come in the library at all that week. Concerned for his safety she breaks library protocol, looks up his address, and shows up at his house to make sure he’s okay.

Turns out he had a health scare and was in the process of, in turn, scaring off the in-home health care.

After Sloane loses her job for disobeying her boss’s order to leave Arthur alone, Sloane now has the time to take care of him. Arthur is begrudging to accept any help, but he also refuses to return to the hospital. The compromise is that Sloane catalogues the stacks of books all over his house and is there if he needs anything.

The neighbor gets involved and to Arthur’s dismay, a book club emerges. Eventually they end up needing Mateo’s registered nurse skills so he gets an invite to the group. And Greg and Nigel also eventually get grafted in.



Loneliness is a real epidemic these days. There are lots of books about how we are so connected via the internet and social media that it actually makes us less connected in the ways that matter most.

Covid-19 added a whole new layer of loneliness when shelter in place laws kept families and support systems apart. The elderly in nursing homes stopped having visitors and many died without anyone there to hold their hands. I was in the hospital for a couple weeks in 2020 before my twins were born and was told they had just changed the rules at the hospital to allow husbands to stay in the mothers’ rooms because they were prescribing so many depression meds for the moms because they were dealing with it all alone.

The Lonely Hearts Book Club does not tackle the Covid stuff at all, but I couldn’t help but see the connection.

God created us to be relational beings. In relationship with him, but also with others. We need each other. There is struggle and heartache when we find ourselves alone.

Even in a crowd we can be lonely. Some of these characters have people around them, but they haven’t been able to be vulnerable, to let someone in or to do the hard and messy work of loving another.


I love what one of the characters realizes: “This world was a terrible place… it tried to convince you that you were alone in your suffering. Everyone in this room had fallen for that lie but I wasn’t having it anymore.”

I would go a step further and more specifically say that Satan wants to convince you that you are alone in your suffering. That is a lie that keeps you from seeing the other lies in your life you may be believing. We weren’t made to do this life alone but Satan would love to isolate you from the love and support of others.

In the very beginning God declared it was not good for man to be alone.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another…”

Galatians 6:2 says “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

There’s plenty more commands to that effect, plus all the verses exhorting us to love one another. How can we love each other if we aren’t with each other? How can we bear each other’s burdens if we aren’t honest with each other?



The Lonely Hearts Book Club wasn’t studying the Bible, but they still quickly came to understand the value of sharing that time together, of bearing each other’s burdens, of allowing others to be in your life and serving others in yours.

The books they read together helped them express the words that were deep in their hearts, the hurts and the truths that were fighting to get out but without a way to do it.

They realized that isolating themselves in their grief and their struggle took away from their ability to truly live life.

“I clutched the book to my chest in sudden, heart-wrenching sadness. Not because of the people we’d lost and would continue to lose, but because even with that loss in every horizon, life still called to me… it had been calling me for years— but it had taken this random, beautiful collection of people for me to realize…”

It reminded me of a book I read called On Getting Out of Bed that addresses the difficulty of ‘getting out of bed’ when you’re grieving, depressed, or anxious. The author says,

“Your existence testifies… There is nowhere you can hide where your life will not speak something to the world.”

He goes on to say,

“Life will inevitably crush you, at one point or another, and your response to that suffering will testify to something. There will be times when subjectively you will be convinced that life is not worth living, and that existence is not beautiful or good but onerous and meaningless. When those times come, your obligation is to look toward others as witnesses of God’s goodness, to remember your responsibilities to care for others, and to remember that you are always a witness, whether you want to be or not. But most of all, remember that you are God’s beloved. This means acknowledging the objective reality that life is good, and that despite our distress, we must get up and carry on.” [On Getting Out of Bed]


The Lonely Hearts Book Club reminds us that life is worth living. That relationships are a mess worth making. That even in our grief or our struggles, there are others who need us even as we need them. God designed it that way.

We aren’t meant to be lonely. Fight against the lie that you are alone. Find your people that will be there for you. If it takes a book club to get there, so be it! There are actually a ton of books out there that may start the conversations you need to speak into your life or another.




The books talked about in The Lonely Hearts Book Club are largely classics— which I’m not a huge fan of, but I appreciate what the author was doing in writing it like that. Classics are classics because they usually touch on timeless, relevant human experiences and emotions.

One of the books that became prominent in the story was Anne of Green Gables. I suspect if you enjoyed that one, it will add an extra layer of sentimental value to this book as well. You’ll find some “kindred spirits.”



This book is a good book club book option. It even includes some good discussion questions at the end of the book.

The fifth question mentions the social media challenge where you put two or more book titles together to make a funny phrase or sentence [“A Time to Kill Pollyanna”]. Since it’s totally something up my alley, I’m including a few (I got carried away) of my own. Feel free to add yours in the comments!

- Against All Odds Lenny Marks Gets Away with Murder
- Before We Were Yours We Were Dreamers
- Carrie Soto is Back Confronting Christianity
- The Day He Never Came Home Airborne
- Everybody Always Start Without Me
- Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone In Cold Blood Where the Crawdads Sing
- Everybody Fights The Four Winds
- Excuse Me While I Disappear On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness
- I’m Glad My Mom Died In Order to Live
- I’ll Never Tell The Last Thing He Told Me
- I Remember You Only If You’re Lucky
- I Will Make You Pay A Man Called Ove
- Just Do Something When I’m Gone
- This is Going to Hurt Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
- Watch Out for Her Alter Ego
- What if Book Lovers Woke Up Like This


Recommendation

This is a great read! Even if you don’t love sentimental fiction books, I think it’s a quick enough and funny enough read that it will still be a compelling read for you.

I’m not a huge fan of books that showcase LGBTQ relationships, but this book’s message about life and friendship was able to overshadow that for me and still makes this a book I definitely recommend.

Life is calling you to come live it. Let these characters inspire you to be known by another and to share your burdens.


[Content Advisory: a few f-words in Mateo’s chapters; no sexual content; there is a romantic relationship between two male characters]
Chosen for Life: The Case for Divine Election by Sam Storms

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challenging hopeful informative medium-paced

5.0

“Election is God’s gracious and loving action to which we contribute nothing and for which, therefore, God receives all the glory.” 

Predestination. Election.

Words that are sure to suck the life out of any room. At least in my circles, these topics tend to be avoided in conversation. Nervous chuckles and nudges to get back to talking about easier things like the fruit of the Spirit.

I think it’s pretty common. For two reasons: either people don’t really know anything about it and it feels like an overwhelming thought to entertain or people don’t want to end up in arguments and cause division. 

I came into this book with a Calvinistic belief already in place. I had done some study of it and most of the avenues of discussion are not new to me. However, I still found this book to be helpful because it turns out I had a skewed view of the Arminian side of the coin. 

Sam Storms does a great job of presenting fairly both sets of beliefs and explaining them as the belief holders would. His hope in writing this book is to dispel the caricatures of both camps and bring clarity. 

 
“Often people proceed to define ‘Calvinism’ as an inflexible, fatalistic system of theology, devoid of life and joy, in which God is portrayed as a celestial bully who takes sadistic glee in sending people to hell whether they deserve it or not… Some argue that Calvinists empty human choices of all moral relevance and reduce men and women to robotic automatons. 

 …Sadly, many Calvinists think of Arminianism as an intellectually flabby, overly sentimental view of the Christian faith that borders on liberalism, if not universalism.”


It’s good to be upfront that though this book is presenting ‘a case’ to persuade readers to believe a certain belief, it is not because believing that belief is essential to salvation. Storms assures us that he has believing Calvinist friends AND believing Arminian friends.


So why even talk about it?

I believe this doctrine is important in terms of how you view God, yourself, others, evangelism, and the Bible. It informs how we preach, how we pray, and how we worship.

To put it plainly, both Calvinists and Arminians believe the Bible teaches election; the question at hand is: “Does God elect people because they believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, or does God elect people in order that they shall believe in Christ?”


Storms gives chapters to each the Arminian and Calvinist view of election and then has chapters discussing freedom of the will, faith and repentance, and grace.

Then he looks at specific Bible passages in the Gospels and Acts, the Epistles and Revelation, and then several chapters on Romans 9 which is one of the most prominent Bible passages in defense of unconditional election.

He briefly covers the ‘order of salvation’ and then addresses crucial questions surrounding this topic like- how can God be just? how can God be loving? why should we preach or pray?

Lastly he provides a defense for the defense of unconditional election.

[Ultra-lastly, there are three appendices regarding: problem passages, who can pray for the lost, and my personal favorite I’ll call ‘big words you can pull out at a dinner party to feel super smart but probably won’t make you a lot of friends— see bonus section.]


To help put things in perspective, Storms sets up an illustration at the beginning of the book: two brothers with the same genetics and familial upbringing— one ends up in heaven and one ends up in hell. Why? How can we explain why Jerry believed and Ed did not?

Is it ultimately God who saves or is it our own choice to believe?


If this is a doctrine you are confused, unsure, or curious about, reading the entire book is the best course of action. But for those who won’t, I’ll try to explain the two views and summarize the main points. Storms wrote a whole book about it, so this review is in now way a complete resource on the topic.

Goodreads has a cap on characters so to get my full review please visit my original blog post HERE because space does not allow for all my words here.


Some quotes in the meantime:

“If any man or woman is ever converted to Christ it is not because the Holy Spirit outwits us or is more skilled in the tactics of religious debate. If we are converted it is because the Holy Spirit sovereignly, which is to say independently of our ideas or efforts, recreates within us a heart willing to believe.”

“To say God ‘denies’ something to one that he ‘gives’ to another implies that God is withholding what he ‘owes.’ Thus for God to ‘deny’ eternal salvation to some suggests he is refusing to give them what they deserve, or what he owes them, or what he as God is obligated to give them… Secondly, the word ‘denies’ suggests that people have asked God, indeed pleaded with him, for eternal life and he ‘denies’ it to them or refuses to grant it to them.”

“To choose people because they believe is an obligation to which God is bound; it is a debt he must pay… How can election be gracious if it is something God must do because justice requires it? Election is gracious precisely because it is the bestowal of life on those who deserve only death.”

“What is it, then, that dictates and determines God’s choice? God… Why that particular choice is more pleasing to God than another, or why neither choice pleases him, is not revealed in Holy Scripture… How can anyone object to the reason God elected Jerry instead of Ed when no one knows what that reason is?”



Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book. It’s a topic that Christians need to be willing to engage in and Sam Storms does a great job of tackling this divisive issue with clarity and accessibility.

I’m one of the weird ones who enjoys a book on a theologically taboo subject, but even if that’s not you, I think you’ll find the book helpful and insightful.

And I would also recommend J.I. Packer’s book Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God for more on why unconditional election does not take away from the urgency or charge to evangelize. 
House of Glass by Sarah Pekkanen

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mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

“A suspicious death, a silent child— the blueprint of my childhood is being drawn all over again. Everything I’ve held tightly inside for three decades is jarring loose.”

Pekkanen has co-written books with Greer Hendricks (An Anonymous Girl and The Golden Couple) but this was my first book by just her and I really enjoyed it— probably more than the joint books.

First of all, I think it’s great that I can read a secular psychological thriller and have no swearing or graphic sexual content. The Golden Couple had a lot of f-words so it must be Hendricks’ contribution of the duo and I appreciate that Pekkanen does her own thing.


The joint books both looked at dysfunctional marriage in the context of a therapist character. This book was a little different. There is still a divorce in the plot, but the main character— Stella— is a best-interest lawyer tasked with determining which Barclay should get custody of Rose.

What makes this a psychological thriller is that the family’s nanny (Tina) had recently “fallen” to her death out of the third story window of their house after her affair and pregnancy with Mr. Barclay came to light. It was never determined to be a murder, but both parents and the live-in grandmother were suspects.

Before Stella can report back with what is best for their daughter, Rose, she needs to figure out what happened to the nanny. She can’t send Rose to live with a murderer.

“Every detail of the Barclays’ seven-bedroom home and manicured gardens is flawlessly curated. And every person I’ve encountered here is deeply damaged.”

But things take a turn when Stella notices Rose collecting sharp objects. In fact, her parents have removed all glass from their house. She also discovers Rose is reading a book written about Ted Bundy.

Could Rose actually be behind Tina’s death?

Stella’s own traumatic childhood makes her the perfect person to figure this out. Ever since Tina fell to her death Rose has been mute. Stella, herself, was mute for awhile after she found her mother’s body as a child. She is determined to be an advocate for Rose and not assume the worst about her when she can’t speak for herself.

“Rose is losing everything, just as I did. Her voice is gone. Her family as she knew it has split into fragments. She left her school. Soon she’ll lose her house. Those are the tangible things. She has also lost her joy. her sense of safety has vanished.”

But will her open-mindedness lead her into inescapable danger?



Pekkanen does a really good job of making you second-guess your predictions. I felt like it moved at a faster pace than the joint books and kept my interest the whole time. I also found the main character to be more likeable than the other characters’ books.



Probably my main negative of this book was when— out of nowhere— the author decided that Stella should suddenly be attracted to the female detective that had worked the nanny case.

Stella just finalized her divorce and the author mentions that Stella “had never been attracted to women before” but then out of the blue she comments on the detective’s “knockout smile” and says “She may just be doing her job, but I like it that she seems to care.”

It was so out of left field that I re-read the paragraph multiple times because I thought I was interpreting it wrong. But nope. It felt like Pekkanen, after writing most of the book, suddenly realized she didn’t have an LGBTQ character and decided she needed to add some diversity so she threw it in. It felt very unnecessary.

Why couldn’t she have just been a really good friendship that comes Stella’s way to help her through the difficult divorce and case that that stirred up bad childhood memories. A love interest seems very abrupt and cliche.



This is my second recent book with a mute character. If this type of story interests you, you would probably like Mike Omer’s book called Please Tell Me. It is about a little girl who was kidnapped and then found, but she is now mute and her captors are at large. Using play therapy they try to unlock what really happened to her.

I think it’s interesting to think about that book and this book in light of what I’m currently reading— the non-fiction book by Abigail Shrier called Bad Therapy. It sheds a little different light on the perspective of therapy that is encouraged in both fiction books… well and really any psychological thriller that utilizes the therapist trope.


A couple other random comments:

- When Charles comes back for his briefcase of money and she asks him to describe it he says: “Smart of you to check. It’s dark brown. A couple years old.” Considering how much money was left in there, the smart thing would be for her to require more than the most vague description of any briefcase that ever existed.

- I am very intrigued by this Nest candle. I love candles. Probably too much. And I can’t imagine spending $80 on a candle. So if you have used Nest candles, please deliver your honest review to me on whether or not these candles are worth buying more than the average candle at Bath and Body Works or Kohls. Please and thank you.

- Stella talks about texting 9-1-1 and I had never heard of this. It seems like a helpful but also not helpful thing so I looked it up. It’s only offered in some counties and I downloaded the list but it’s super long and not easy to sort so I have no idea if I can text them where I live. BUT when I looked it up, it also seemed like calling 911 is definitely the better option if you are able.



Recommendation

I definitely recommend this book! I thought it was a really good psychological thriller that kept me guessing. My negative thing was pretty minor and didn’t arise until a decent way through the book.

Paired with the fact that there is no swearing or sexual content, this is a great option for all readers.

I may not read more of their joint books, but I would definitely read more solo Pekkanen books!


[Content Advisory: no swearing or sexual content (other than the reported infidelity); there is an introduction of same-sex attraction 77% through the book]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
Fragile Designs by Colleen Coble

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mysterious medium-paced
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No

4.0

My feelings about this book are pretty similar to the other Colleen Coble book I read- Strands of Truth. I would say Colleen Coble knows her audience and has mastered writing to them.

I’m not exactly her core audience so there was enjoyment for me reading this book, but aspects of it that didn’t quite land.

Just like in Strands of Truth there were some interactions, reactions, dialogue, and word choice that at times seemed unnatural to me— are eyes really intelligent? would Lucas really have called Emily a dimwit? — and the like. But these parts aren’t all over the place and don’t hinder your ability to stay in the story.

In the author’s note, Coble said that she’s been fascinated with Faberge eggs and wanted to write a story about it. So no, Coble didn’t contemplate- what would be the most realistic, thrilling story I could write? and then crank this out. This came from- how can I write a romantic suspense story that incorporates Faberge eggs? I think she did a good job of coming up with something!


The basic premise is (and I agree with other reviewers that the Goodreads summary probably provides too much information… and has Lucas’s name wrong?) Carly Tucker, who lives with her grandmother after her husband’s unsolved murder and 9 months after she has his baby, comes across a treasure in the antique collection left to her by her great-grandmother. She discovers it’s an authentic Faberge egg that was declared lost and may have been part of the reason her husband was murdered.

But there are multiple groups, including the Russian mafia, out to secure the egg and Carly and her family find themselves in the center of a lot of danger as Carly attempts to figure out the story of the egg.

Throw in some romance between Carly and the detective next door who is helping her case and a long lost twin sister of her grandma who has another piece of the puzzle and you’ve got a drama filled book!



Carly wasn’t a super relatable character for me personally because, like some other readers, it got on my nerves how much she let her sisters walk all over her and cater to their every whim. I wouldn’t have put up with that. But at least Coble writes some good character development for her throughout the story as she is confronted with some hard information about her past relationships. Lucas helps her stand up for herself while still acknowledging that her serving nature and humble spirit are good things.

I do feel like there was a plot hole in terms of how little security the families had after people broke into their property multiple times and then someone was found killed in one of the rooms. I don’t think just moving next door was quite enough to feel safe to sleep at night, but I suppose it’s one of those necessary plot holes to provide a place for some action.

I enjoyed the setting of South Carolina with its live oak trees and trying to imagine the mansion as it was being remodeled. I wish I could see it in real life.


Recommendation

Overall, I would recommend this book if you enjoy a good, clean romantic suspense story or if you’re really into Faberge eggs.

It’s not going to keep you up at night, but I never dreaded picking it up to keep reading.

Even if you don’t purposefully read Christian fiction, I think it’s worth giving a shot if romantic suspense is up your alley. If you’re mostly into edgy thrillers, this may not be a good match for you.


[Content Advisory: no swearing or sexual content; infidelity]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
A Lovely Lie by Jaime Lynn Hendricks

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mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

“I reconciled that night long ago, when the choice I had was college or jail for accessory to murder.”

I had enjoyed Jaime Lynn Hendricks’ book I Didn’t Do It, which, though that book had quite a bit of swearing, I thought there were some redeeming parts. So I was looking forward to this book.

Unfortunately, this one had way more swearing and sexual content without any of the redeeming parts.

This book followed the popular trope of ‘something bad happened back when we were in school and someone died but we promised never to talk about it until we’re adults and a stranger starts digging and asking questions and now we have to talk about what really happened back then.’


Most recently I read Only If You’re Lucky which also released this year and they are pretty similar stories actually. Same unbelievability about what teens are capable of doing and keeping a secret and somehow not being affected by any of it. Also both have a duo of: narcissistic best friend and best friend who would do anything for their popular friend because they can’t afford to lose their friend’s love and attention.

Sometimes the ‘what really happened back then’ trope works for me, but it seems like most of the time youths are involved (including this one) I’m unsatisfied with the book.


The basic premise of this book was that a car accident happened the night of the senior year party that was eventually just determined to be an accident, but the detective suspected something else happened that night. Scarlett and Pepper, best friends, have agreed never to talk about it or tell a soul. Pepper leaves town that week and never comes back. Now 20 years later, Pepper’s grown daughter, Zoey, shows up on Scarlett’s doorstep with the news that Pepper died in a car accident recently. Zoey is now demanding answers about who her father is and what Pepper lied to her about from her past. Was someone murdered? Who was cheating on who? Was everyone too drunk to know anything?!


The characters in this book are all terrible. I don’t even believe the ‘characters I love to hate’ acquiescence applies here. The only good character was Scarlett’s son, Luke, but even he was a drug dealer— which by the way, is apparently supposed to be endearing because he’s doing it to help his mom get away from his dad and he’s not actually really doing the drugs.

It’s a book full of debauchery— because everyone slept around and lived their high school years in drunken stupor— that of course is going to lead to some challenges. It’s all pretty dysfunctional and the only character development I saw was that compared to some of the characters, others are all of a sudden ‘not as bad as that one.’


I also didn’t like the title- A lovely lie. Somehow the story Pepper and Scarlett determined they would tell the detectives was referred to as the lovely lie, but that adjective doesn’t make any sense and is definitely not how any normal person would refer to the lie. I’m trying to think of a better example of a lie that could be called a lovely lie and I can’t come up with anything. It’s fun alliteration, but it feels disjointed and uncreative to invest the title in and then try to cram it into the character’s thoughts throughout the book.


Another annoying thing from this book was how Scarlett constantly used the phrase ‘my boy’ in regards to her son, Luke. She says it 11 times throughout the book. It got to the point where I was convinced Vince had to not be Luke’s father. Considering all the other information we were learning about Scarlett, Pepper, Vince, and Chris, it really felt only natural that Scarlett had a child with someone else and lied about it this whole time.

But nope. She just really likes to talk about her son like an old grandpa. I don’t think it’s a spoiler, but since I wouldn’t recommend this book to you, it doesn’t matter anyway because you won’t read it.


Lastly, I just really don’t enjoy books where the mystery and lies are surrounded by drunkenness. It just feels like a lazy or too convenient way to not have to give the readers the truth or to cast suspicion on other characters. It is an unsatisfactory excuse for any sort of plot development. I don’t like those kinds of stories. Everyone’s drunk so they don’t remember everything right… just teens being teens…


Okay one more thing: shouldn’t the car on the front of the cover only have one headlight?



Recommendation

I do not recommend this book.

There’s not much to like. Unlikeable characters. Lots of profanity. Lots of dysfunction. Predictable. Not a great ending.

I can’t think of a reason for why you should read it.There are plenty of other books about lies, past or present, that are way better than this one so just skip it and move on.

If you want to try this author, try I Didn’t Do It instead. I’m not sure I’m willing to try any of her other books at this point. We might just need to part ways now.


[Content Advisory: 101 f-words; 81 s-words; 26 d-words; 15 b-words; sexual content; reference to rape; miscarriage; affair]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley**

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny, and Murder by David Grann

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adventurous dark mysterious medium-paced

4.0

“Byron could not yet know for certain the true nature lurking inside his fellow seamen or even himself: a long, dangerous voyage inexorably exposed one’s hidden soul.”


This was quite the nautical tale!

It is Pirates of the Caribbean meets Gilligan’s Island but in the spirit of Lord of the Flies. Instead of Jack Sparrow’s humor, we are imbibed with anarchy and the desperation of starvation and fear of death that leads to dehumanization. But yes, there is treasure.

I was surprised with how this book kept my attention. It was really interesting to learn more about voyages at sea and to learn all the colloquialisms derived from nautical terms.

From the beginning Grann sets up the mystery: two different parties return to England with different stories about what happened. As a reader you already know there is mutiny, shipwreck, and murder, but you don’t know what ‘really happened’ out there. That is slowly unraveled.

This is one of those books that when you read it, you praise the Lord that you don’t live during that time. I am thankful for the age of planes, trains, and automobiles. Sailing on the ship is basically like going to Australia— everything can kill you. (Except Australia has a much higher survival rate than a ship… and much better food.)


I already got a taste of this when I read the book Amazing Grace which tells the tale of John Newton and his voyages on slave ships. That book had a whole other level of dehumanization that The Wager only briefly touches on.

But both mention the press gangs and both quote the poet William Cowper. Both detail the horrors of illness, injury, and the merciless storms at sea.


I do find it interesting that Grann says of the accounts from The Wager:

“We rummage through the raw images of our memories, selecting, burnishing, erasing. We emerge as the heroes of our stories, allowing us to live with what we have done— or haven’t done.”

The stories that came back from the Wager’s shipwreck and their horrific weeks stranded on an island and their attempts to return home are conflicting. The details are obscured.

And that was one of the disappointments with the book. We are left with a bit of mystery on who is telling the truth. Both parties had a lot to lose. And the court hearing that happened was unsatisfactory in revealing the truth. Most likely because of political reasons.

Some readers might be okay with an open-ended book. Others might find that frustrating.


But I can’t help but see that contrast with the Amazing Grace book. John Newton of all people had a lot of willful sin he would want to hide, justify, or lie about. But he was honest about his treachery. He owned his sin. We see his story of redemption and the way he found forgiveness from a loving God. He definitely wasn’t the hero of his own story— Christ was.

The Wager has no such redemption. Even though Bulkley claimed to be a believer, his stories don’t have the transparency and humility of Newton’s.

Both accounts happen during the same time, but we have very different outcomes.

The Wager was hard to read, but Amazing Grace is harder. If you can handle it, I would recommend you give that a read too.

One very clear truth we can gather from The Wager is the sinful nature of man. Given the right circumstances, the perfect storm, every human is capable of unspeakable things. The Wager’s shipwreck is not an isolated example. We see it time and time again.

When there is no leadership or leadership is questioned and everyone is left to do what is right in their own eyes (hello book of Judges), nothing good happens. We would like to think we would all do the ‘right’ thing. But everyone’s idea of ‘right’ is different. If we need a leader, we usually don’t agree on who gets to be the leader or what behaviors are acceptable or not. And if we think we’re right and the majority is wrong, we will fight for our own way, even if we have to be sneaky.

I’ve watched enough Survivor to know that even on a reality show in a controlled environment, there are major conflicts with how much rice each person should get and when. Who gets to be the leader and make decisions for the tribe? Who decides who is the weakest member that should be eliminated first? Who is causing the problems? It ruins relationships and people are voted off the island. And that’s not even a life or death situation.

It’s a total microcosm of what happened with the Wager.

Add to that the very real biological and mental problems that come with starvation. Self-preservation is king. By any means necessary.


It humbles me and reminds me of my need for a Savior. It reminds me that I’m plagued by sin and if left to my own devices, I won’t always choose love and sacrifice— if ever. It reminds me how thankful I am to have the power of the Holy Spirit at work in my life to protect me from myself. He enables me to choose what is right and to value the lives of others, even above my own.

It reminds me how thankful I am that Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay the penalty of my sin so that I have hope. I don’t have to be enslaved to my selfish desires and there is a future for me. I don’t have to burnish or erase my memories because I don’t have to be my own hero. I have forgiveness and a perfect Hero who gives me something to live for.


Another disappointment with the book was something I’ve seen other reviewers comment on as well. There were some editorial comments— mostly at the end— that took away from the book overall.

Grann took it upon himself to point out the Imperial system of Britain and charge the sailors for not doing something about it.

“The authors rarely depicted themselves or their companions as the agents of an imperialist system. They were consumed with their own daily struggles and ambitions… and ultimately, with survival. But it is precisely such unthinking complicity that allows empires to endure. Indeed, these imperial structures require it: thousands and thousands of ordinary people, innocent or not, serving— and even sacrificing themselves for— a system many of them rarely question.”

I’m not trying to defend Imperial Britain or other unjust systems, especially the slave trade and chattel slavery, by any means. But it’s become quite popular to get on a high horse and lay out all the people to blame for these systems and to place people on the complicity spectrum. To some degree everyone participates in any system that has ever existed or continues to exist, no matter how many protests we attend or ‘equality’ posts we share. We don’t need to take every possible opportunity to assign blame amounts and show how progressive we are because we would NEVER have allowed the Imperial system to exist if we were alive in the 1700s.

Sure, if this book were largely about the Imperial system, we can talk about it. But this book was about a military ship’s journey around South America and their subsequent shipwreck and their attempts to survive. They were acting out orders of the government during a war, but to throw on these politically charged opinions just didn’t fit the book to me. It’s not lost on me that there is an underlying dig in that statement that has nothing to do with Britain and it felt like poor writing to include.

No, it was not pervasive throughout the entire book, and it does not render the book un-recommendable, but it felt worth noting.



Colloquialisms:

Here are some phrases that were all originally nautical terms that have become part of our everyday speech. I had no idea!

around the horn
toe the line
pipe down
scuttlebutt
three sheets to the wind
turn a blind eye
under the weather
dead reckoning

I also was surprised to know that the Byron who sailed on The Wager was the grandfather to the poet Lord Byron. I feel like there could be some interesting fiction written around that family with this kind of history…


Recommendation

I would recommend this book. It’s an engaging non-fiction book about a controversial part of Britain’s War of Jenkin’s Ear and the subsequent disasters that occurred— a story relatively hidden until now.

Some parts are hard to read and may seem a little gruesome or hard to stomach, but it’s not written in an excessive way.

This is the same author who wrote Killers of the Flower Moon which was just released as a movie last year. I may go back and read some of his other books because he does a good job of making history read like a fiction novel.


[Content Advisory: minimal swearing, if any; no sexual content; violence, hints of cannibalism; brief gore]
Lenny Marks Gets Away with Murder by Kerryn Mayne

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funny lighthearted mysterious reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

“She was a human-sized bad omen, as if she’d smashed every mirror, walked under every ladder and put new shoes on every table she’d ever seen. Lenny didn’t really put stock in superstitions and yet her track record spoke for itself.”


I’m guessing the title of this book will be a bit misleading for most. Lenny Marks Gets Away with Murder is basically the Aussie version of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. Not in a way where this book isn’t worth reading— because it is— it will just feel a little familiar.

It’s not a thriller. It’s a partly light-hearted and humorous, partly tragic and dark family drama with a neurodivergent main character who is haunted by the malicious phrase “You did this.” without the full memories to explain it.


Thirty-seven- year old Lenny Marks is our practical, straight-forward neurodivergent main character. When she gets overwhelmed she reorganizes words in her head to create anagrams. Or she watches episodes of Friends. She is logical; she labels everything, checks her locks multiple times before bed; she is always nice and polite and sticks to her schedule.

“Lenny’s existence was many things: simply, predictable and uneventful. It had taken considerable effort and time to get to this point and she was not planning on disrupting the perfectly good order of things.”

But just as Eleanor Oliphant’s routine gets disrupted, so does Lenny’s. Except instead of an IT guy, Lenny begins a friendship with Ned, the grocery store guy who is his own version of nerd with his board game making/playing and love of Lord of the Rings and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. [I love worker placement board games so I would totally be friends with Ned.]

Well, more than the various people that start sneaking their way into her life, her bubble is popped by a letter from a parole board regarding her stepfather. And it sends her into a drawn out tailspin as she struggles with the childhood trauma that haunts her and has driven her to avoid relationships. She has gotten into the habit of making up friends and saying no to social invites, but all of a sudden more and more people are creeping into our life in more than a passing way.

This book is the story of how Lenny confronts her memories and how she comes out of her shell: The One Where Lenny Marks Gets a Life.

But yet, we must not forget the title. Because although this book is not a thriller, the title isn’t a lie. How does someone as nice as Lenny Marks find herself in such a provocative title?

“The woman whose most outrageous move, as far as anyone knew, was to down six wines at a suburban trivia night. She was a renowned truth-teller, honest to a fault. She was only conceivably deadly on a Scrabble board.”

And so, in order to find out how she is inconceivable deadly, you’ll have to read the book…



Random Thoughts

I really thought Mr. Pointy was going to become a murder weapon and I’m a little disappointed that it didn’t.


“Good Vibes Only was emblazoned across it… Lenny always thought that particular cushion imposed undue pressure on anyone who came across it. Sometimes one had only mediocre vibes, which should also be acceptable.”

Preach! That phrase and ‘sending good vibes’ are a major pet peeve of mine. Keep your vibrations to yourself. Let me be mediocrely vibing and leave me alone.


“Her knowledge of coupledom could be grouped with what she knew about flying a plane or doing French braids; she knew these things could happen but had no idea how.”

Piloting and french braiding truly are the mysteries of life.


I spent too much time googling netball. Because then I watched some highlight clips and then I needed to know the defensive rules because it appeared like no one was attempting to block shots. And to be honest it left me wondering: why do we need netball if we have basketball?


This book was written and set during the Covid-19 pandemic but the author chose not to incorporate it because social distancing would really put a damper on Lenny’s blossoming social life. I appreciate her choice. I’ve read several books that were written during that time now. I’ve read some that incorporate the pandemic and most that don’t and I will say the books that don’t have the pandemic are way more pleasurable to read.

A couple other notes on the author: she knows Sally Hepworth and was encouraged by her to write this book. Hepworth is an automatic read for me. Check out her books HERE. Also Mayne owns 11 copies of The Hobbit.


Obligatory Aussie Terminology

If you follow my reviews then you know I often include a section of things or words I learned from the book. This one is set in and written by an Aussie. I’ve read quite a few books written by Aussies, but I’m still learning new things!

 jaffle: I really wanted this to be a kind of a laugh but I’m told it’s a grilled cheese sandwich; if you want a true jaffle, I’ve discovered you’re going to need a jaffle maker iron which cuts and seals the sandwich into two triangle pieces

 Salada: popular Australian cracker that comes in varieties such as spinach, iceberg, and spring mix

 melting moments: shortbread cookies with lemon in between; you eat these right after your kids do something real cute

 doona: quilted comforter; also what you pull over your head when you doona want to get out of bed

 esky: portable cooler probably invented by eskimos

 hot Milo: like a hot chocolate with malt

 the tip: the dump; or more precisely, the very very top of the dump- the views are superb

 Bonox: not to be confused with Botox, this is a beef extract and used as a drink, do NOT inject it into your face, or we will know exactly where the beef is.

 windcheater: windbreaker that breaks the wind illegally

 Dandenong Range: yet another aspect of Australia that surprises me. If they didn’t have so many creatures that could kill me, I’d be booking my ticket over there right now!

 Bonus: oesophagus. I know about different British spellings, but I had never seen this one before!


Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book! It was an enjoyable read even if it wasn’t quite the thriller I was expecting.

I wouldn’t say it really surprised me because I had read similar books, but Lenny Marks is still her own character and I was happy to see her character develop and see the good in humanity. Sometimes we don’t realize the good until we contrast it with the bad and this book showcases that difference.

It was also a pretty clean book which I appreciate as well. Minimal swearing and sexual content. However, if abuse is a trigger for you, you may want to pass on it.

Now that I know Kerryn Mayne’s style of writing I would read another one written by her- I see she has a new book out this year called Joy Moody is Out of Time that features twins and a character named Britney, which may or may not be too close to home. I might have to give it a shot!



[Content Advisory: 10 f-words, 3 s-words, 5 b-words; no sexual content; some child abuse situations]

**Received an ARC via NetGalley **
Red Rising by Pierce Brown

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adventurous challenging dark emotional inspiring sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

“I am no Gold. I am a Red… Forged in the bowels of this hard world. Sharpened by hate. Strengthened by love.”

“I am the spark that will set the worlds afire. I am the hammer that cracks the chains.”



I’m a little late to the Red Rising Party as this book came out in 2014, but I’m happy to be here and since all the books are out I’m also happy I don’t have to wait for the next one!

This is your classic dystopian fantasy/sci-fi series about classism and the rebellion against the ruling elite. It’s similar to Hunger Games, Maze Runner, and Lord of the Flies but a more intense, adult version. Yes, there are a bunch of youths fighting one another in an arena of sorts where the rules constantly change, the outcome appears rigged, and their humanity is on the brink of being lost forever. But they are in space and the writing is more graphic and ruthless.

Just like Katniss wasn’t like any other fighter in her arena, so too is this series’ hero— Darrow who has his own special skills and back story. Also like Katniss, he comes from the lowest ‘class’ and is fighting against the elite, ruling class. He will also become the face of the rebellion (at least that’s what this series seems to be telling me). His motivations for winning are also what sets him apart from the others he is fighting.


Somehow the Society has not figured out that if you kill someone’s wife you are the catalyst for creating your own demise because that man will rise up like a superhuman warrior and rip your throats out. Or something close to it. [See Gladiator, Braveheart, Memento, Sweeney Todd, Law-Abiding Citizen, or Rocky IV if Apollo Creed was wife...] Seems like this should be bad-guy-101: killing wives spawns rebel warriors.

I mean I was just 40 pages in and my heart was already ripped out so that was fun. But it did immediately invest me in the success of Darrow. The stakes felt very high throughout the whole book.

This series is six books long so I’m curious how many diversions we will have before Darrow gets his revenge, but I love a good story of justice served so I’m here for it. However, one main theme in this book is Darrow figuring out the difference between revenge and justice. He is not a perfect hero and I’m not sure what we will have to go through to reach that justice and if it will be worth it in the end. That is the draw of the story for me now.

“They want my memory short. But all my people sing of are memories… I must not become like them. I’ll remember that every sin, every death, every sacrifice, is for freedom.”

This book did take a while to get into because you’re dropped right into the middle of this foreign world, a terraformed Mars, and this colony of Reds has their own vernacular. It takes a minute to figure out what’s what, who’s who, and why it matters.

I definitely felt immersed in the world. It probably helped that I was able to read large chunks of the book at a time. I think especially when you first start this book you should have the ability to read a big chunk first or it might lose you.

Although, overall, I felt the world-building was good, I think there are still parts of the world I’m struggling to picture. I don’t know what a terraformed Mars looks like because the planet is red. But in this book there are mountains , snow, forests and water and so I’m struggling to understand the science behind how this happens— are they in a big bubble of some kind? Or is that aspect just something I need to accept as ‘the way it is.’ Because although they are in space, Earth is not obsolete. It’s not as if Earth was destroyed hundreds of years ago so I’m still wrapping my mind around the setting.



Basic Premise

Darrow is sixteen and part of the Red Colony. Everyone on Mars is divided into social classes identified by color: Oranges are technicians, Obsidians are soldiers, Coppers are bureaucrats, Yellows are doctors, Reds are diggers, etc. And of course the highest of all are the prestigious, genetically modified to be superior Golds.

The Reds are so low on the totem pole that they don’t even realize that they have been enslaved. They think their work mining helium-3 is essential to the planet becoming habitable for everyone eventually.

In this colony marriage happens young. Darrow has a wife. Life is hard, but he is content to dig and come home to the love of his life. It is enough and the work feels important.

“Without me, she would not eat. Without her, I would not live.”

The hierarchy is unfair and oppressive, but rebellion comes at too high of a cost.

“We are a people of dance and song and family. It is the one resistance we can manage against the Society that rules us… Yet to remind us of our place, they make one song and one dance punishable by death. My father made that dance his last.”

Like his father, Darrow’s wife has a dream of rebellion and freedom. In one of her last acts she shows Darrow a glimpse of the world above— the planet has already been habitable for many years and has been built on the backs of the Reds who will never see the spoils of their labor. They are supposed to stay enslaved in the lies and oppressed into submission.

She sees what Darrow could become.

“Emptiness is living chained by fear, fear of loss, of death. Break the chains of fear and you break the chains that bind us to the Golds, to the Society. Mars could be ours.”

At her punishment for going outside the boundaries, she sings the forbidden song and both Darrow and her pay the ultimate cost.

In a bitter twist, Darrow does not find himself in the vale with his wife. Death has not claimed him. Instead a band of rebels with connections arranges for his ‘rebirth’ into the society above. They plan to infiltrate the Gold from within in order to bring them down. Darrow, Red to the bone, becomes a Gold, tutored in their ways and mannerisms. Gold in the face, but Red in the heart.

“I’m a sheep wearing wolves’ clothing in a pack of wolves.”

The first step for him is entrance into the academy that will send him on the needed trajectory for leadership over armies or squadrons. Part of the entrance process involves an elaborate capture the flag ‘game’ between the twelve ‘houses’ of the Society. While it’s not specifically a fight to the death like Hunger Games, death, torture, mutilation, and rape become acceptable practices as the Gold warriors compete to win the accolades and the best job prospects post-game.

“You’ll realize you are a good man who will have to do bad things.”

“That’s what they are teaching us, not only the pain in gaining power, but the desperation that comes when you are not a Gold.”




Love and War

It is always interesting to read these kind of books that challenge the idea of violence as entertainment or that expose people’s true violent capability.

Why do we enjoy these books?

“What we must study is humanity. In order to rule, ours must be the study of political, psychological, and behavioral science— how desperate human beings react to one another, how packs form, how armies function, how things fall apart and why. You could learn this nowhere else but here.”

Perhaps we tell ourselves that this is extreme and this would never happen to us. Perhaps we think we are learning. It’s something worth pondering. But whatever we think as we’re reading, I think it would be hard to deny that what we must come to grips with is our own capacity for evil. Pushed to their limits or put in a crucible of the right ingredients, people will do unspeakable things.

People aren’t inherently good. We have something inside us that wants to always choose the selfish option. Self-preservation. Anyone but me. We’re pretty good at justifying our actions so we don’t have to confront our own sinfulness.

There is no doubt that we need a Savior. And thank God we don’t have to rebirth our own version of one we cross our fingers will be enough to bring us freedom. There is a man perfect and holy enough to live the life we never could and die the death we deserved, not because he was pushed to the limits, but because he willingly offered Himself out of love for his enemies. Us.

That person is Jesus. And his sacrifice is a done deal. No finger-crossing required.

These kinds of books remind me that I am thankful for that sacrifice. I am thankful that he has the cure for my own sin. He has the freedom that releases me from being enslaved to my own selfishness and I don’t have to sew myself into a horse carcass to get it.

These thoughts bring me to this quote from the book:

“Love and war are two different battlefields.”

Is it true?



Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book and series as long as you can handle the violence. It’s not for everyone and that’s totally okay. There are plenty of other books to read.

I also would not recommend this for teenagers. It is definitely a different level than Hunger Games and even though the characters are teenagers, I wouldn’t say it’s appropriate for young readers.

I am looking forward to continuing this series and watching the trajectory of justice take its course.



[Content Advisory: The world-building includes a new vernacular for swearing. I suppose that makes it easier to read because they aren’t traditional swear words but there is still some crassness in the dialogue and obviously a lot of gore and violence.]

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
Beautiful Freedom: How the Bible Shapes Your View of Appearance, Food, and Fitness by Stacy Reaoch

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challenging hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

"We’ll be equipped to really examine our motivations— why do we eat the way we do? Why do we exercise, or not exercise? Why are we inclined to go to great lengths to look a few years younger? Why do we have this tendency or that tendency? And crucially, where is God calling us into something better? In what ways is he inviting us into freedom?”


I’ve realized lately that now, post-four-kids, I’ve thought more about my weight, the size of my clothes, my eating and exercising habits than I ever did before. My body has changed. For a good reason. But I need to reorient the way I view this change because I’m being bombarded with a lot of different opinions about how that view should be formed and I know many of those are unhealthy.

When I saw this book I knew it would be a good thing for me to read. Having finished it, I can confirm that was correct. I think any woman would benefit from reading this book.

It’s a hard book to write and I commend Stacy for taking it on. It’s difficult not to approach it wanting or expecting some hard line answers on what is right or wrong to eat or drink and how to exercise. I’m sure there will be readers unsatisfied with the book because they don’t feel like they got any ‘answers’ or a yellow brick road guiding them to fulfillment.

We also probably all come to the book with some sort of guilt that we’d like alleviated by realizing- ‘Oh I’m not doing that bad thing so what I’m doing is fine.’ And maybe it is totally fine, but this book will only be helpful if we come to honestly evaluate ourselves and our own motivations for what we do.

Even though I come away from the book still feeling a little disoriented on what my eating and exercising should look like, I don’t think Stacy left me hanging. I think she has provided the biblical and appropriate blueprint for viewing our bodies and our habits. We have to put in some work to do some honest self reflection and questioning of our motives and choices and decide what God is calling us to. It may not be an immediate lightbulb moment, but what she puts forth in this book is true and there is some freedom and diversity in how these principles get applied to our individual lives.


After reflecting on the concept of beauty itself, Stacy asks us whose kingdom we are seeking. This is a key question. Is our focus heavenward and eternal or inward and earthly?

The second part of her book covers four main areas: exercise; food restrictions; overindulgence; and beauty and aging.

She also includes an appendix about disordered eating. It’s important to note that this book is not tackling eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia, etc. Struggles to that degree will most likely require some specialized help that Stacy is not offering in these pages.



The main point Stacy makes is that any good thing can turn into a bad thing if it becomes an idol or a replacement of God.

“Idols are the thoughts, desires, longing, and expectations that we worship in the place of the true God. Idols cause us to ignore the true God in search of what we think we need.” [she quotes Tim Keller, Counterfeit Gods]

Do we go first to food or exercise for comfort instead of allowing God to meet our needs?

Have we become obsessed with our bodies and our appearance or the food we eat? Are our thoughts and days consumed with trying clothes on, make-up and skin care routines, particular meal planning, diet research, and exercising?

It’s not that caring about our appearance or what we put in our bodies or what we do with our bodies is bad. Our bodies matter and what we do with them matters. But our motives matter too. It’s less about the diet and the exercise as much as it is about the heart behind it.

I think this is especially an important book to think about if you have kids. They observe the way we act and talk about ourselves, the comments we make when we look in the mirror or look at other people’s bodies. We need to be sending the right message.

After four kids, and my last two being twins that required a C-section, I developed diastasis recti which essentially makes me still look pregnant because I have no abs. Kids speak their minds and my stomach is often the topic of conversation: ‘Do you have a baby in there? Why is your stomach so big? You’re a big mommy! Look how big your tummy is!’ It gets tricky with teaching them about what we do or do not say about people’s bodies without also somehow indicating that there is a ‘right’ shape of what a body should look like.

I think it’s important for my daughters to see that having kids does change your body. And that’s not a bad thing. We don’t need to hide the evidence that we carried and delivered children. Being pregnant and having a child is a gift and a sacrifice. It’s not something to lament because it means I have to buy bigger jeans now.

My 7 year old is already very interested in make-up and fashion. I see her watching older girls and taking in what they’re wearing and what they look like. She already equates make-up with beauty. It starts young and we need to be prepared to communicate biblical truths about appearance to our kids because our culture can’t help but ingratiate us with a standard for beauty that is really hard to detach from.



Stacy rightly warns us that while ‘obsession’ is a ditch we should avoid, so too is ‘apathy.’ In order to avoid obsession we can’t just swing the pendulum the complete opposite direction and say that none of it matters and freedom means we just do whatever we want. Self-control is still a fruit of the Spirit. Our bodies are still temples and something God gave us to steward rightly.

We have to find that middle ground. And it’s not easy.

I have friends throughout the whole spectrum of eating and exercise. Friends who are very disciplined in training. Friends who are very conscious about food and doing a variety of diets. There are no carb diets, organic diets, avoiding red-dyes or processed foods. Heavy on meat. Low on fruit. High in vegetables. Cutting out sugar. No meat at all. All natural. All convenience.

I love and respect all my friends and their choices. But where does that leave me? It’s hard not to feel like there is one way to do it and I have to figure out which friend figured out the secret recipe to Christian living and eating and exercising. If we do it differently does that mean I’m doing it wrong??

Generally speaking, I think it’s created disunity in the church and in our friendships because we recognize the differences in people’s lifestyles and we don’t know what to do about it. Especially if the reasons for our choices feel really important. If something works for us or helps us we want to share it with others- Have you tried this? This will help you lose weight! This will help you feel better! This promotes gut health! Spread the good news! It’s only natural. Reasons could be physical, mental, political, fundamental, scientific, etc. and we want to inform others and help others.

We aren’t all on the same page and it feels uncomfortable.

But the Bible tells us that what we put into our bodies is not what makes us unclean. Eating food with red dye or preservatives does not make us bad people. Cutting sugar out of our diet doesn’t make us bad people. Eating fast food for dinner doesn’t make us bad people.

Food is not a moral category.

The Bible does talk about overindulgence and drunkenness so I think there are a few lines we can draw but overall we need to allow others to do things differently. You can bake sourdough bread to the glory of God and you can buy white bread from the store to the glory of God. We can also make choices to feel superior to be selfish or to be spiteful. Our motivation is important.

There is no list of do’s and dont’s here. To some degree I think I was looking for that because I want it to be simple. I just want to do the RIGHT thing. But I think that just means I need to sit with it more.


I think it would help us to talk about it with friends and see if you can pinpoint what exactly bothers you and why. See if you can determine how you truly view food and exercise. I think it’s also good to recognize where you are making good choices for good reasons. This is not an all or nothing book. Celebrate your successes and work on other parts. That’s honest.

I would definitely recommend this book because I think this concept is super relevant and would help us as a church body and in our individual relationships to find freedom from the world’s standard of beauty or from the pressures of thinking there is a ‘biblical’ diet.

I think this is an important book for Christian women to read so we can stop playing the comparison/judging/self-deprecating game.

I wonder if this book would be more effective if it was read in a group of women because I think there is some processing that needs to happen and dialogue with a friend to think through some of these things.

At the same time, I think reading this book in a group could have its challenges and may create deeper divisions if the conversation gets hung up in the wrong places in an attempt to be prescriptive or persuasive.

Be wise in the group you read it with, but at the very least, share your thoughts with a trusted friend and explore how you think God may be calling you in your own life.

Stay focused on what your motivations are and how you can best serve Christ. Consider what messages you may be sending to your family and friends. Make choices that keep God in lordship of your life and your help in times of struggle. Those are the areas I think this book is meant to speak into. Carbs, dyes, sugars, cross-fit, treadmills, anti-aging creams, and mascara are secondary.

“Instead of obsessing over our physical appearance or being apathetic, we can lean into the Lord for godly wisdom and self-discipline. We can look for ways to be thankful for how God created us, and we can care for our physical selves in a way that enables us to serve others. The efforts we make to strengthen our muscles, to rest, to eat nourishing foods, to offer hospitality, and to forgo our preferences for the sake of others can all be signs of the Spirit of God dwelling inside of us.”


**Received a copy of this book from The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review.** 
The Day He Never Came Home by Andrew DeYoung

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adventurous mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

“What was love, anyway, but the feeling of being tied up with someone, so deeply connected that it was impossible to root them out of your life without pulling out whole pieces of yourself? It didn’t have to be a good thing, a pleasant thing. Love could be terrible, too.”


I came across this book because it was recommended by an author I really enjoy: Nicole Baart. I was intrigued by the title and premise because it reminded me of The Last Thing He Told Me which I really liked. I gave it a shot.

It was a bit different than I was expecting but still an enjoyable read.


I thought it was funny that the main character, Regan (pronounced Ree-gan), was a graphic designer and her husband, John, was a financial advisor, because my husband is a financial advisor and I went to college for graphic design! And at the time I was reading this book, which is set in Minnesota, I was in Bloomington Minnesota and had visited Minnetonka Falls just a day before I read that scene in the book. Fun relatables.


The thing that disappointed me about the book was that there was more language and sexual content than I was expecting. Baart’s books are pretty clean so I assumed what she was recommending would largely be too. So I didn’t care for all of that, but the story itself was still good and worth reading.


The premise is this:

“The day before he went missing, Regan’s husband bought her a lake house.”

A very expensive lake house. Once she discovered he didn’t come home that night the FBI show up at her door to arrest her husband for fraud. A Ponzi scheme.

She doesn’t tell the FBI about the house but instead sneaks over there to find her husband. Instead she finds a bag with a million dollars in cash waiting for her.

Her life starts to unravel as she realizes her husband is not the man she thought he was and now she’s caught in the middle of his crimes with two children to still provide for and a narcissistic mother in the wings saying ‘I told you so.’

Regan will do whatever it takes to protect herself and her children, but is she just digging herself deeper into the fray?



The book starts from Regan’s POV. She gives us background into her and John’s relationship, how they met, and some red flags she noticed along the way but chose to ignore.

About halfway through the book shifts to John’s POV. He goes through some of the same events and encounters but from his perspective, filling in the blanks or ‘correcting’ for us readers what Regan thought was happening.

Part 3 changes to third person narration as it combines the characters for the climax of the book.

I’m not sure I ever really found the characters likeable. There were parts of each of them that were just dysfunctional or choices they made I found stupid. I mostly felt bad for their kids.

It did seem like John’s chapters were meant to earn him some sympathy and understanding as if he had no choice to do what he did or at least there were other things to blame, but there was no sympathy from me over here.

And the last few sentences wasn’t a huge surprise to me considering what I already thought about the characters.

So if you read books to really connect to the characters and invest in their lives, you might not find that here.

But the first line draws you in, the anticipation of finding out who John really is and how things got to this point, and how Regan will get out of it are the things that keep you reading.



Recommendation

For the most part I would recommend this book. It’s a pretty quick read and has good bones.

The only reason I would deter you from reading would be if the language and sexual content is something you would like to avoid.


[Content Advisory: 65 f-words, 35 s-words, 6 uses of God’s name in vain, several sexual scenes not super graphic but more than passing references, one of them infidelity]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley and the author in exchange for an honest review**

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