Scan barcode
shelfreflectionofficial's reviews
816 reviews
All This Twisted Glory by Tahereh Mafi
medium-paced
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
“She had to accept as fact that sometimes revolution demanded darkness in exchange for light.”
The weird thing about this series is that when you finish a book you just feel like none of your questions were answered and not much happened but somehow you still really enjoyed reading it.
And of course it makes you want to continue reading. This may be a series that is better when you can read each book one right after the other instead of waiting in between for the next book.
I liked this one better than These Infinite Threads and more or equal to This Woven Kingdom. It didn’t feel like the ‘transitional’ book the second book felt like. Even as I was thinking back to what had happened already before I started this third book, it seemed like everything I was remembering happened in the first book. Apparently the second book was a little forgettable to me.
So where are we at with this third installment?
Cyrus, who has some sort of deal with the devil (Iblis) has proposed to Alizeh. The agreement being that she would take over his kingdom and kill him so that he would be free of the devil— although Alizeh is on board with the first part, she has not made up her mind about the second part. Because these two have the hots for each other, obvs.
Cyrus knows he cannot have her which is part of the devil’s torture of him.
Alizeh is struggling to figure out what she is supposed to do next.
“She possessed no throne, no army, no plan, and not an ounce of the powerful magic she’d been promised for the part.”
“It was the kind of contradiction she often felt repeated in herself: that she was both useless and powerful; unimportant and essential.”
Kamran has come to Tulan to avenge his grandfather’s death, aka kill Cyrus. He also must prove his ability to be king of Ardunia as he is coming from his kingdom where Zahhak, the defense minister, is trying to usurp the throne. Kamran is unaware of what has been going on between Cyrus and Alizeh. But there is jealousy and confusion here as he processes that Alizeh did not betray him but may have an attachment to Cyrus.
“without fanfare she’d fallen from the heavens into the still waters of his life, and he wondered, uneasily, whether he’d feel the reverberations of her impact forever.”
Kamran travels with a rag-tag band of characters including Hazan (his right-hand man but more so Alizeh’s right hand man because he is Jinn and loyal to his rightful Queen), Deen (the apothecarist), Huda (the gossiping, unrefined, and illegitimate daughter of an elite family), Omid (the orphan boy who tried to kill Alizeh in the first book but because she saved his life he is loyal to and protective of her: “she’s not magical or anything… we just like her a lot”).
In this book Alizeh ends up almost fatally injured and has to be sent to the Diviners for healing. While that is happening Kamran finds out about the marriage proposal and decides he will marry once Alizeh has been made Queen, given the kingdom and disposed of Cyrus. His marriage to Alizeh should unite the two kingdoms and provide Ardunia with all the resources they need to survive.
By this point the love triangle begins to dissolve and a different enemies-to-lovers side plot starts to form.
The devil’s (unknown) plan seems to be progressing unthwarted as the characters make their decisions.
But what about…?
Unless I missed something, we still don’t really know what’s going on with the devil in general or with his deal with Cyrus. We know it has something to do with his father and possibly his brother (Cyrus was the spare, not the heir… just like Prince Harry…) but we still aren’t given that information.
Kamran’s mother is virtually absent from this book. I know she has to be important but she did not come into play here.
Alizeh’s need for water did not come up at all. Also when she was healed it talked about her not feeling the usual pain that the ice in her veins caused but we never find out how it happened or if it stayed that way or why/if it matters.
The mining of magic was mentioned a little bit as we are introduced to the magic crystals that the Diviners have access to. By the end of the book we know that Alizeh plans to go ‘get her magic’ from the mountains so perhaps this will be more prominent in the next book. We still don’t know fully what Alizeh is capable of.
We know that there is prophecy of the Clay and Fire kingdoms being joined together because it was inscribed on Alizeh’s magic book. But the book also is basically absent from the book. I suspect it will also be more prominent as Alizeh seeks to understand her magic and how she is to save her people.
The fireflies weren’t mentioned again. Maybe I’m making too much of them, but they have to be significant somehow down the road.
Where are we going?
The next book should have a wedding, a quest for magic, some more love stuff, and I suspect an urgency for Alizeh to take her throne before the gathering Jinn revolt or before Ardunia and Tulan enter into war.
Hopefully Mafi gives us more information on the devil, Cyrus’s family, Kamran’s mother, and the prophecy.
We will probably also have more interactions with the Diviners. I liked this bit of wisdom we gained from them in this book:
“Life cannot be experienced one emotion at a time. It is a tapestry of sensation, a braided rope of feeling. We must allow for reflection even when we suffer. We must reach for compassion even when we triumph. If you spend your days waiting for your sorrows to end so that you might finally live you will die an impatient man.”
A woven tapestry is the theme of this series in a lot of ways. We have several threads being used by Mafi as she weaves her story and I hope the masterpiece is worth the wait!
Oh and I’d be cool if there were no more spiders the size of a face.
Recommendation
As mentioned earlier, the magic of this book is that somehow it is still very enjoyable even as not much is happening or being explained. I’m looking forward to the next book but wish I didn’t have to wait so long because the story doesn’t feel memorable enough to stay with me for that long.
If you like YA books with magic, I think this series is worth starting, but just know that you’re in it for the long haul. I’m not sure how many books Mafi plans to write in this series, but it feels like at this rate, it will take several more to get to where we need to go and wrap everything up properly.
I’ve said this with the first two books and I’m saying it again here, my overall opinion of this series cannot fully be formed yet because I have to see where Mafi’s going to go with everything and see if it’s worth the investment, if I’m satisfied with explanations, progressions, and ending.
I will continue to have high hopes. This book offered more than the second so I feel like we’re headed in the right direction! I like that Alizeh’s group of friends is getting more space in the books because it adds a layer of engagement for the reader where we’re not just focused on the romantic love of Cyrus and Alizeh but we get the element of friendship and loyalty.
[Content Advisory: 5 f-words, lustful thoughts as in the previous book and a somewhat graphic sex scene (chapter 14) that is actually a dream]
The weird thing about this series is that when you finish a book you just feel like none of your questions were answered and not much happened but somehow you still really enjoyed reading it.
And of course it makes you want to continue reading. This may be a series that is better when you can read each book one right after the other instead of waiting in between for the next book.
I liked this one better than These Infinite Threads and more or equal to This Woven Kingdom. It didn’t feel like the ‘transitional’ book the second book felt like. Even as I was thinking back to what had happened already before I started this third book, it seemed like everything I was remembering happened in the first book. Apparently the second book was a little forgettable to me.
So where are we at with this third installment?
Cyrus, who has some sort of deal with the devil (Iblis) has proposed to Alizeh. The agreement being that she would take over his kingdom and kill him so that he would be free of the devil— although Alizeh is on board with the first part, she has not made up her mind about the second part. Because these two have the hots for each other, obvs.
Cyrus knows he cannot have her which is part of the devil’s torture of him.
Alizeh is struggling to figure out what she is supposed to do next.
“She possessed no throne, no army, no plan, and not an ounce of the powerful magic she’d been promised for the part.”
“It was the kind of contradiction she often felt repeated in herself: that she was both useless and powerful; unimportant and essential.”
Kamran has come to Tulan to avenge his grandfather’s death, aka kill Cyrus. He also must prove his ability to be king of Ardunia as he is coming from his kingdom where Zahhak, the defense minister, is trying to usurp the throne. Kamran is unaware of what has been going on between Cyrus and Alizeh. But there is jealousy and confusion here as he processes that Alizeh did not betray him but may have an attachment to Cyrus.
“without fanfare she’d fallen from the heavens into the still waters of his life, and he wondered, uneasily, whether he’d feel the reverberations of her impact forever.”
Kamran travels with a rag-tag band of characters including Hazan (his right-hand man but more so Alizeh’s right hand man because he is Jinn and loyal to his rightful Queen), Deen (the apothecarist), Huda (the gossiping, unrefined, and illegitimate daughter of an elite family), Omid (the orphan boy who tried to kill Alizeh in the first book but because she saved his life he is loyal to and protective of her: “she’s not magical or anything… we just like her a lot”).
In this book Alizeh ends up almost fatally injured and has to be sent to the Diviners for healing. While that is happening Kamran finds out about the marriage proposal and decides he will marry once Alizeh has been made Queen, given the kingdom and disposed of Cyrus. His marriage to Alizeh should unite the two kingdoms and provide Ardunia with all the resources they need to survive.
By this point the love triangle begins to dissolve and a different enemies-to-lovers side plot starts to form.
The devil’s (unknown) plan seems to be progressing unthwarted as the characters make their decisions.
But what about…?
Unless I missed something, we still don’t really know what’s going on with the devil in general or with his deal with Cyrus. We know it has something to do with his father and possibly his brother (Cyrus was the spare, not the heir… just like Prince Harry…) but we still aren’t given that information.
Kamran’s mother is virtually absent from this book. I know she has to be important but she did not come into play here.
Alizeh’s need for water did not come up at all. Also when she was healed it talked about her not feeling the usual pain that the ice in her veins caused but we never find out how it happened or if it stayed that way or why/if it matters.
The mining of magic was mentioned a little bit as we are introduced to the magic crystals that the Diviners have access to. By the end of the book we know that Alizeh plans to go ‘get her magic’ from the mountains so perhaps this will be more prominent in the next book. We still don’t know fully what Alizeh is capable of.
We know that there is prophecy of the Clay and Fire kingdoms being joined together because it was inscribed on Alizeh’s magic book. But the book also is basically absent from the book. I suspect it will also be more prominent as Alizeh seeks to understand her magic and how she is to save her people.
The fireflies weren’t mentioned again. Maybe I’m making too much of them, but they have to be significant somehow down the road.
Where are we going?
The next book should have a wedding, a quest for magic, some more love stuff, and I suspect an urgency for Alizeh to take her throne before the gathering Jinn revolt or before Ardunia and Tulan enter into war.
Hopefully Mafi gives us more information on the devil, Cyrus’s family, Kamran’s mother, and the prophecy.
We will probably also have more interactions with the Diviners. I liked this bit of wisdom we gained from them in this book:
“Life cannot be experienced one emotion at a time. It is a tapestry of sensation, a braided rope of feeling. We must allow for reflection even when we suffer. We must reach for compassion even when we triumph. If you spend your days waiting for your sorrows to end so that you might finally live you will die an impatient man.”
A woven tapestry is the theme of this series in a lot of ways. We have several threads being used by Mafi as she weaves her story and I hope the masterpiece is worth the wait!
Oh and I’d be cool if there were no more spiders the size of a face.
Recommendation
As mentioned earlier, the magic of this book is that somehow it is still very enjoyable even as not much is happening or being explained. I’m looking forward to the next book but wish I didn’t have to wait so long because the story doesn’t feel memorable enough to stay with me for that long.
If you like YA books with magic, I think this series is worth starting, but just know that you’re in it for the long haul. I’m not sure how many books Mafi plans to write in this series, but it feels like at this rate, it will take several more to get to where we need to go and wrap everything up properly.
I’ve said this with the first two books and I’m saying it again here, my overall opinion of this series cannot fully be formed yet because I have to see where Mafi’s going to go with everything and see if it’s worth the investment, if I’m satisfied with explanations, progressions, and ending.
I will continue to have high hopes. This book offered more than the second so I feel like we’re headed in the right direction! I like that Alizeh’s group of friends is getting more space in the books because it adds a layer of engagement for the reader where we’re not just focused on the romantic love of Cyrus and Alizeh but we get the element of friendship and loyalty.
[Content Advisory: 5 f-words, lustful thoughts as in the previous book and a somewhat graphic sex scene (chapter 14) that is actually a dream]
Happy Place by Emily Henry
funny
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
“Even when something beautiful breaks, the making of it still matters.”
I read this one right after The Clinic which was a thriller so it took me a few chapters to stop my brain from trying to figure out who the killer or the victim was because there wasn’t one…
Once I stopped being suspicious of everyone I was able to enjoy it! It’s the reverse of the enemies to lovers trope. Here we have lovers to enemies to fake lovers.
About halfway through I was feeling disappointed by the book because it felt like one long book about sexual tension between two people who should be together but aren’t and we don’t know why and they won’t talk about.
I’ve read two other books by Emily Henry- People We Meet on Vacation and Book Lovers. Both of which won best romance in the Goodreads Award Challenge in their respective years. Apparently Henry is the queen of romance and everybody knows it.
I will say that I liked both of those books better than this one. Both of those felt like like they had more plot or side story happening to move things along, a little more depth. I also think I liked the main characters better in those. The former had weirdness which I liked. The latter had a really good familial component which I liked.
Happy Place eventually got to some meat at the end which left me with a better taste in my mouth than I was at halfway, but I still wish there had been more to the story throughout.
It was basically just a week-long friend-party-bash-rave-celebration time at a house in Maine. Sure the town had its charm and we got to see all the memories of that house that bonded the friends together but I just felt like it was too focused on this tension between the two main characters- Harriet and Wyn- and not enough on anything meaningful.
The basic premise of the book is this:
The background is that Harriet, Cleo, and Sabrina were put together as roommates at their college in Vermont. While they all had different personalities and backgrounds, they became the best of friends and vacationed every summer at Sabrina’s family house in Maine.
They eventually accumulated their significant others (Parth for Sabrina, Kimmy for Cleo, and Wyn for Harriet) to vacation with them.
This year Sabrina finds out her dad is selling the house (because of his seventh wife) so she plans an elaborate ‘last vacation’ week for everyone, ending with an impromptu wedding between her and Parth.
Things get complicated when Harriet arrives and sees Wyn there who wasn’t supposed to be. They had been engaged for a long time but had broken up five months ago, not telling anyone about it. Now they have to pretend to still be together for the week so they don’t ruin it and make Sabrina sadder than she already is or take away from the happiness of their wedding.
The break-up had basically been a four minute phone call and while they both think the other one is happy without them and that breaking up is the best thing, you can tell that they both still want each other.
The book chapters are labeled ‘happy place,’ ‘real life,’ ‘dark place,’ and ‘almost happy place,’ as we sometimes jump back in time to previous memories of Harriet and Wyn’s relationship in college and afterwards(happy place), the dark place being after the break up and real life being the present day celebration week.
I Just Want You to Be Happy
It is titled ‘Happy Place’ for a few reasons. The most overt reason is that this house is their happy place. The place they’ve bonded and shared so many memories as first a group of three but then with their loved ones. It’s an escape from ‘real life’ and a place of freedom and possibility.
The more subtle reason is because in a relationship the other person becomes your happy place, your home, your escape from real life.
In this book both of Harriet’s happy places are fading.
“Our house, this pocket universe where we always belong, no matter what else is happening, we’re safe and happy—that’s going away.”
Life isn’t what it used to be. Relationships have changed. Can she still be happy without her happy places?
Now this is where we finally started to see some depth in the book (unfortunately it was at the end) because now we’re looking at how these characters’ parents’ relationships influenced how they handled their own.
Sabrina’s parents became unhappy with each other and divorced. Her dad multiplied that a few times. Harriet’s parents stayed together but she could tell they were unhappy because they married because of pregnancy and missed out on what their lives could have been. Conflict was avoided but resentment lingered.
I spent a lot of time thinking about this concept of happiness when it comes to relationships and jobs and life in general.
(I’m about to go on a soap box about happiness and relationships in terms of this book because I don’t have much to say about sexual tension and there’s no other alternative; if this does not interest you, scroll past…)
The characters eventually realize that their happy place that week was a mirage because they were hiding all of their feelings and not talking about the hard stuff. To them happiness and sadness couldn’t co-exist.
“I was afraid of ruining this place where they’ve always been happy. I was afraid they would resent me and never say it, afraid they wouldn’t like me… They’d know I wasn’t enough.”
Harriet grew up thinking it was up to her to make everyone happy. She wanted to do what people expected of her, to make them happy, to make them proud of her and be who they wanted her to be instead of making her own choices about her life.
There is truth to this part of the whole topic. That is not a healthy way to live or to build relationships on because it’s not honest and it’s not one person’s job to sustain everyone else- that’s impossible.
We did get to see growth in Harriet’s recognition of this about herself which was good.
But there was also this underlying message of what it means to have happiness in a relationship that I’m not sure I agree with. It’s possible what I’m about to throw down is actually what Henry was getting at and I interpreted it wrong but I don’t know so here are some things…
Harriet looks at a picture of her parents with her baby sister from years ago and thinks they look tired and she can see their dreams dying in their eyes. They looked, “not miserable. Just like it’s not enough. Like he and mom both know there are other universes where they’re more, bigger, happier.”
When talking with Wyn about their break-up she says, “If we’re making each other unhappy, we can’t keep going. I need to know we’re never going to hurt each other like this.”
We can look at the abominably high divorce rate and know that this idea of ‘happiness’ has pervaded what people think is a good relationship. The cultural idea is: the pinnacle of life is to be happy. If you’re not happy you need to do something different, find someone new, move somewhere else, etc. If the other person doesn’t make you happy, end the relationship. Taking care of kids is exhausting and sucking you dry so go ahead and leave them.
But where is the commitment to that? No wonder Harriet never spoke up, she didn’t want Wyn to leave. But you can’t build a relationship that is dependent on the feeling of happiness. There would be no commitment, no trust, and no growth. It would be shallow and fear-driven because in reality, we don’t feel happy all the time.
Hard things happen. There is conflict. There is selfishness. But a relationship (a marriage or with the goal of marriage in mind) is for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health. It grows during those times, it doesn’t give up during those times.
Obviously there is space here, especially in dating relationships where if you know it’s not going to work, you end things before you get married. I’m not saying you should marry someone you’re not attracted to and don’t enjoy being with. And of course marriages often end because of abuse or infidelity.
But the idea behind finding your person is not that they make you happy all the time, although they may, but that they are the person you’re going to want to ‘make things work with’ when the feelings fade. You find the person you want to fight for when conflict arises.
The cultural idea of relationships lacks this commitment.
Harriet’s mom tells her: “I’m terrified for you that you’re going to wake up one day and realize you built your life around someone else and there’s no room for you.”
Perhaps I’m interpreting this wrong, but based on what we know of her mom’s past, I read this as a warning that if you get married and sacrifice your dreams, you will regret it and you won’t be the person you were supposed to be.
I think this because I hear and see it all the time. Follow your heart at all costs, it could never lead you astray. You deserve better. You deserve to chase every dream you have. Don’t let others hold you back from your potential. You will be less of a person.
But I don’t see very many messages about sacrificial love. That circumstances don’t dictate happiness. That happiness is not determined by achievements or dreams pursued, or lifestyle met.
Having a marriage. Having a family. Are those inconveniences that keep you from your dreams? Or are those WORTH giving other things up for? Worth sacrificing your dream because you can build new dreams. Worth adapting a dream for the betterment of the family because people are more important than dreams or achievements. Maybe if you really think about it- they ARE the dream. Having a person/s to experience life with, discover the world with.
If you think there’s no room for yourself in a marriage that is based on commitment and sacrifice then your concept of self needs to change. Our identity can’t be in the things we do, the places we go, the dreams we achieve or the things we have because those will inevitably be taken away and then what will you be?
My identity is Christ. Yes, I’m a wife. I’m a mom. I’m a reader. I’m a creative. If I lose any of those things, I will feel loss, but I won’t lose myself because my purpose and my worth is not dependent on them. My worth and purpose is in the unchanging love of Christ. Period. And that gives me freedom to let go of what I think will make me happiest and trust that what the Lord has for me is worth anything I lose, even when it feels impossible. Because I trust him and he is faithful.
And that’s why, to me, a ‘happy place’ is a place of trust, commitment, and faithfulness. That your people will love and stand by you even when they don’t feel like it because they have chosen you and are determined to sacrifice and grow with you. To be one. Where unhappiness doesn’t make you lean out, it makes you lean in. It makes you look at your selfishness and re-evaluate your priorities. It’s a mutual sacrificing, a joint decision to move this way or that. It says, ‘I can let go of this because you’re worth it.’ That sounds safe. That sounds like love.
And now we understand why marriage is a reflection of God’s love for his people. It’s a relationship of faithfulness, trust, and sacrificial love. And we tarnish that image when we view a relationship on a spectrum of happiness and drop it when we feel like it, because there might be something bigger or better.
In terms of jobs— I think Harriet gave a lot of good reasons to change her job. I don’t think we’re required to stay at a job that makes us miserable, and her change made sense in a lot of ways, though I'm not sure only doing pottery is the best move considering her skills.
But for some reason there is an idea that floats around that says you should be excited to go to work everyday. Just jumpin’ outta bed all bubbly to go do something you love. That’s cool if you found that, but if that’s what we’re telling people to go find, we’re setting them up for disappointment and a long resume of short job stints.
There is usually and probably always going to be an element of work that is unpleasant and monotonous. And sometimes we are able to find a new and better job— there is no problem in seeing what’s out there, but we also often have a responsibility to care for and provide for loved ones, and that might mean working a job that doesn’t give you warm fuzzies every morning.
That doesn’t mean you are stagnant and held back and destined to be unhappy. It means you get up every morning for work knowing that you are being faithful to your family and sacrificing for their good because you love them and you get to still come home to them every day and share life together.
I also think that there is this idea that ‘just wanting someone else to be happy’ is a noble thing to claim. Do whatever you want in your life, as long as you’re happy I’m happy. Happy wife happy life. We just want our kids to grow up and be happy.
But while it sounds lovely, we should have better aspirations for people. At least in terms of how the world defines happiness.
Don’t get me wrong. I love happiness. And God is a happy God. Look at all the good things, the fun things, the funny things that he has given us. Happiness is from the Lord.
As Alisa Childers explains in her book Live Your Truth (and Other Lies):
“Biblical happiness doesn’t come from having stuff, feeling good about our circumstances, or even finding romantic fulfillment. Those things feel good, but they can’t bring ultimate happiness. In some cases, they may even distract us from real happiness. True biblical happiness is knowing deep down that no matter our circumstances, we were lost and now we’re found. We have experienced the love of Christ, which always brings encouragement and comfort.”
Chasing cultural happiness sounds like an exhausting life. I hope my kids learn contentment, patience, trust, perseverance, and endurance. I hope above all, not that they’ve secured happiness by the world’s standards but that they’ve clung to the Lord and found that in all the ups and downs, they trust him and live in obedience to Him. Everything else will pass away.
Timothy Keller says, "While other world views lead us to sit in the midst of life's joys, foreseeing the coming sorrows, Christianity empowers its people to sit in the midst of this world's sorrows, tasting the coming joys."
Okay.
Thanks for tuning into tonight’s episode of Brittany’s Soap Box: Happiness Edition. I’ll just leave you with one last quote from Randy Alcorn who wrote an entire book on Happiness:
“If you believe in the God of the Bible, if you've placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Redeemer, then the following things are true: The price for your happiness has been paid; The basis for your happiness is secure; The resources for your happiness are provided daily; The assurance of your eternal happiness is absolute, providing an objective reason for your happiness today.”
The Funnies
As usual, Henry has good wit and humor and I like her descriptions:
“‘Surprise.’ His gray eyes communicate something more akin to ‘Welcome to hell; I’ll be your host, the devil.’”
“I manage to say something that sounds sort of like ‘oh… good’ and sort of like someone with both stage fright and strep throat has taken a crack at public yodeling.”
And I think my favorite is the part where Harriet tells Wyn she wants to be a potter. He says “A happy potter’s better for this world than a miserable surgeon.” Which I don’t disagree with. But I read it as ‘Harry Potter’ and then I realized they called Harriet Harry and it was just too perfect! I don’t know if it was intentional, but it was excellent.
[Speaking of potters, if the first quote of my review (and pottery related analogies in general) resonate with you, you should read It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa Terkeurst.]
Some Randos
I got tired of hearing about that singular lock of hair Wyn had always falling places and doing things. It was like it’s own character, but not sure if we saw any growth there.
I’m not sure if these characters had as much personality as her other books. Kimmy did (probably because she seemed like an Amy Schumer type), maybe Cleo because she was artsy, but the others seemed a little bleh to me. Although as I write that it feels like I’m saying only loud or abnormal people have personalities and that’s not fair. Maybe because those are easier to picture they seem to overshadow the others.
They actually give some good advice on fighting: “There doesn’t need to be a winner and a loser. You just have to care how the other person feels. You have to care more about them than you do about being right.” I’ve been married for almost 13 years and I wish I could say this didn’t just come up recently for me… if I wasn’t right so much it wouldn’t be so hard… ha.
[If you are interested in more information on how to fight better, check out Kim and Penn Holderness’s book Everybody Fights: Why Not Get Better at It?]
In her acknowledgements Henry mentions Brittany Cavallaro, another author. I’ve had her book, A Study in Charlotte, on my TBR so that’s fun that they’re friends!
Recommendation
If you haven’t read Emily Henry before, I don’t think I would start with this one. I think her other books are better.
If you’re already a fan of hers, you'll probably like it.
It wasn’t her strongest book but the ending helped and I do like her writing style. She has a new book coming out this year in April (Funny Story) which I think I will plan to read.
We all have different thresholds for swearing and sexual content, so just be aware of what I listed below to make a decision whether or not this book is a good fit for you.
[Content Advisory: lots of f- and s-words; sexual tension throughout with graphic scenes primarily taking place in Chapter 29 and the end of Chapter 32 if you wish to skip them; two main characters are lesbians; there’s some space dedicated to getting high]
I read this one right after The Clinic which was a thriller so it took me a few chapters to stop my brain from trying to figure out who the killer or the victim was because there wasn’t one…
Once I stopped being suspicious of everyone I was able to enjoy it! It’s the reverse of the enemies to lovers trope. Here we have lovers to enemies to fake lovers.
About halfway through I was feeling disappointed by the book because it felt like one long book about sexual tension between two people who should be together but aren’t and we don’t know why and they won’t talk about.
I’ve read two other books by Emily Henry- People We Meet on Vacation and Book Lovers. Both of which won best romance in the Goodreads Award Challenge in their respective years. Apparently Henry is the queen of romance and everybody knows it.
I will say that I liked both of those books better than this one. Both of those felt like like they had more plot or side story happening to move things along, a little more depth. I also think I liked the main characters better in those. The former had weirdness which I liked. The latter had a really good familial component which I liked.
Happy Place eventually got to some meat at the end which left me with a better taste in my mouth than I was at halfway, but I still wish there had been more to the story throughout.
It was basically just a week-long friend-party-bash-rave-celebration time at a house in Maine. Sure the town had its charm and we got to see all the memories of that house that bonded the friends together but I just felt like it was too focused on this tension between the two main characters- Harriet and Wyn- and not enough on anything meaningful.
The basic premise of the book is this:
The background is that Harriet, Cleo, and Sabrina were put together as roommates at their college in Vermont. While they all had different personalities and backgrounds, they became the best of friends and vacationed every summer at Sabrina’s family house in Maine.
They eventually accumulated their significant others (Parth for Sabrina, Kimmy for Cleo, and Wyn for Harriet) to vacation with them.
This year Sabrina finds out her dad is selling the house (because of his seventh wife) so she plans an elaborate ‘last vacation’ week for everyone, ending with an impromptu wedding between her and Parth.
Things get complicated when Harriet arrives and sees Wyn there who wasn’t supposed to be. They had been engaged for a long time but had broken up five months ago, not telling anyone about it. Now they have to pretend to still be together for the week so they don’t ruin it and make Sabrina sadder than she already is or take away from the happiness of their wedding.
The break-up had basically been a four minute phone call and while they both think the other one is happy without them and that breaking up is the best thing, you can tell that they both still want each other.
The book chapters are labeled ‘happy place,’ ‘real life,’ ‘dark place,’ and ‘almost happy place,’ as we sometimes jump back in time to previous memories of Harriet and Wyn’s relationship in college and afterwards(happy place), the dark place being after the break up and real life being the present day celebration week.
I Just Want You to Be Happy
It is titled ‘Happy Place’ for a few reasons. The most overt reason is that this house is their happy place. The place they’ve bonded and shared so many memories as first a group of three but then with their loved ones. It’s an escape from ‘real life’ and a place of freedom and possibility.
The more subtle reason is because in a relationship the other person becomes your happy place, your home, your escape from real life.
In this book both of Harriet’s happy places are fading.
“Our house, this pocket universe where we always belong, no matter what else is happening, we’re safe and happy—that’s going away.”
Life isn’t what it used to be. Relationships have changed. Can she still be happy without her happy places?
Now this is where we finally started to see some depth in the book (unfortunately it was at the end) because now we’re looking at how these characters’ parents’ relationships influenced how they handled their own.
Sabrina’s parents became unhappy with each other and divorced. Her dad multiplied that a few times. Harriet’s parents stayed together but she could tell they were unhappy because they married because of pregnancy and missed out on what their lives could have been. Conflict was avoided but resentment lingered.
I spent a lot of time thinking about this concept of happiness when it comes to relationships and jobs and life in general.
(I’m about to go on a soap box about happiness and relationships in terms of this book because I don’t have much to say about sexual tension and there’s no other alternative; if this does not interest you, scroll past…)
The characters eventually realize that their happy place that week was a mirage because they were hiding all of their feelings and not talking about the hard stuff. To them happiness and sadness couldn’t co-exist.
“I was afraid of ruining this place where they’ve always been happy. I was afraid they would resent me and never say it, afraid they wouldn’t like me… They’d know I wasn’t enough.”
Harriet grew up thinking it was up to her to make everyone happy. She wanted to do what people expected of her, to make them happy, to make them proud of her and be who they wanted her to be instead of making her own choices about her life.
There is truth to this part of the whole topic. That is not a healthy way to live or to build relationships on because it’s not honest and it’s not one person’s job to sustain everyone else- that’s impossible.
We did get to see growth in Harriet’s recognition of this about herself which was good.
But there was also this underlying message of what it means to have happiness in a relationship that I’m not sure I agree with. It’s possible what I’m about to throw down is actually what Henry was getting at and I interpreted it wrong but I don’t know so here are some things…
Harriet looks at a picture of her parents with her baby sister from years ago and thinks they look tired and she can see their dreams dying in their eyes. They looked, “not miserable. Just like it’s not enough. Like he and mom both know there are other universes where they’re more, bigger, happier.”
When talking with Wyn about their break-up she says, “If we’re making each other unhappy, we can’t keep going. I need to know we’re never going to hurt each other like this.”
We can look at the abominably high divorce rate and know that this idea of ‘happiness’ has pervaded what people think is a good relationship. The cultural idea is: the pinnacle of life is to be happy. If you’re not happy you need to do something different, find someone new, move somewhere else, etc. If the other person doesn’t make you happy, end the relationship. Taking care of kids is exhausting and sucking you dry so go ahead and leave them.
But where is the commitment to that? No wonder Harriet never spoke up, she didn’t want Wyn to leave. But you can’t build a relationship that is dependent on the feeling of happiness. There would be no commitment, no trust, and no growth. It would be shallow and fear-driven because in reality, we don’t feel happy all the time.
Hard things happen. There is conflict. There is selfishness. But a relationship (a marriage or with the goal of marriage in mind) is for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health. It grows during those times, it doesn’t give up during those times.
Obviously there is space here, especially in dating relationships where if you know it’s not going to work, you end things before you get married. I’m not saying you should marry someone you’re not attracted to and don’t enjoy being with. And of course marriages often end because of abuse or infidelity.
But the idea behind finding your person is not that they make you happy all the time, although they may, but that they are the person you’re going to want to ‘make things work with’ when the feelings fade. You find the person you want to fight for when conflict arises.
The cultural idea of relationships lacks this commitment.
Harriet’s mom tells her: “I’m terrified for you that you’re going to wake up one day and realize you built your life around someone else and there’s no room for you.”
Perhaps I’m interpreting this wrong, but based on what we know of her mom’s past, I read this as a warning that if you get married and sacrifice your dreams, you will regret it and you won’t be the person you were supposed to be.
I think this because I hear and see it all the time. Follow your heart at all costs, it could never lead you astray. You deserve better. You deserve to chase every dream you have. Don’t let others hold you back from your potential. You will be less of a person.
But I don’t see very many messages about sacrificial love. That circumstances don’t dictate happiness. That happiness is not determined by achievements or dreams pursued, or lifestyle met.
Having a marriage. Having a family. Are those inconveniences that keep you from your dreams? Or are those WORTH giving other things up for? Worth sacrificing your dream because you can build new dreams. Worth adapting a dream for the betterment of the family because people are more important than dreams or achievements. Maybe if you really think about it- they ARE the dream. Having a person/s to experience life with, discover the world with.
If you think there’s no room for yourself in a marriage that is based on commitment and sacrifice then your concept of self needs to change. Our identity can’t be in the things we do, the places we go, the dreams we achieve or the things we have because those will inevitably be taken away and then what will you be?
My identity is Christ. Yes, I’m a wife. I’m a mom. I’m a reader. I’m a creative. If I lose any of those things, I will feel loss, but I won’t lose myself because my purpose and my worth is not dependent on them. My worth and purpose is in the unchanging love of Christ. Period. And that gives me freedom to let go of what I think will make me happiest and trust that what the Lord has for me is worth anything I lose, even when it feels impossible. Because I trust him and he is faithful.
And that’s why, to me, a ‘happy place’ is a place of trust, commitment, and faithfulness. That your people will love and stand by you even when they don’t feel like it because they have chosen you and are determined to sacrifice and grow with you. To be one. Where unhappiness doesn’t make you lean out, it makes you lean in. It makes you look at your selfishness and re-evaluate your priorities. It’s a mutual sacrificing, a joint decision to move this way or that. It says, ‘I can let go of this because you’re worth it.’ That sounds safe. That sounds like love.
And now we understand why marriage is a reflection of God’s love for his people. It’s a relationship of faithfulness, trust, and sacrificial love. And we tarnish that image when we view a relationship on a spectrum of happiness and drop it when we feel like it, because there might be something bigger or better.
In terms of jobs— I think Harriet gave a lot of good reasons to change her job. I don’t think we’re required to stay at a job that makes us miserable, and her change made sense in a lot of ways, though I'm not sure only doing pottery is the best move considering her skills.
But for some reason there is an idea that floats around that says you should be excited to go to work everyday. Just jumpin’ outta bed all bubbly to go do something you love. That’s cool if you found that, but if that’s what we’re telling people to go find, we’re setting them up for disappointment and a long resume of short job stints.
There is usually and probably always going to be an element of work that is unpleasant and monotonous. And sometimes we are able to find a new and better job— there is no problem in seeing what’s out there, but we also often have a responsibility to care for and provide for loved ones, and that might mean working a job that doesn’t give you warm fuzzies every morning.
That doesn’t mean you are stagnant and held back and destined to be unhappy. It means you get up every morning for work knowing that you are being faithful to your family and sacrificing for their good because you love them and you get to still come home to them every day and share life together.
I also think that there is this idea that ‘just wanting someone else to be happy’ is a noble thing to claim. Do whatever you want in your life, as long as you’re happy I’m happy. Happy wife happy life. We just want our kids to grow up and be happy.
But while it sounds lovely, we should have better aspirations for people. At least in terms of how the world defines happiness.
Don’t get me wrong. I love happiness. And God is a happy God. Look at all the good things, the fun things, the funny things that he has given us. Happiness is from the Lord.
As Alisa Childers explains in her book Live Your Truth (and Other Lies):
“Biblical happiness doesn’t come from having stuff, feeling good about our circumstances, or even finding romantic fulfillment. Those things feel good, but they can’t bring ultimate happiness. In some cases, they may even distract us from real happiness. True biblical happiness is knowing deep down that no matter our circumstances, we were lost and now we’re found. We have experienced the love of Christ, which always brings encouragement and comfort.”
Chasing cultural happiness sounds like an exhausting life. I hope my kids learn contentment, patience, trust, perseverance, and endurance. I hope above all, not that they’ve secured happiness by the world’s standards but that they’ve clung to the Lord and found that in all the ups and downs, they trust him and live in obedience to Him. Everything else will pass away.
Timothy Keller says, "While other world views lead us to sit in the midst of life's joys, foreseeing the coming sorrows, Christianity empowers its people to sit in the midst of this world's sorrows, tasting the coming joys."
Okay.
Thanks for tuning into tonight’s episode of Brittany’s Soap Box: Happiness Edition. I’ll just leave you with one last quote from Randy Alcorn who wrote an entire book on Happiness:
“If you believe in the God of the Bible, if you've placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Redeemer, then the following things are true: The price for your happiness has been paid; The basis for your happiness is secure; The resources for your happiness are provided daily; The assurance of your eternal happiness is absolute, providing an objective reason for your happiness today.”
The Funnies
As usual, Henry has good wit and humor and I like her descriptions:
“‘Surprise.’ His gray eyes communicate something more akin to ‘Welcome to hell; I’ll be your host, the devil.’”
“I manage to say something that sounds sort of like ‘oh… good’ and sort of like someone with both stage fright and strep throat has taken a crack at public yodeling.”
And I think my favorite is the part where Harriet tells Wyn she wants to be a potter. He says “A happy potter’s better for this world than a miserable surgeon.” Which I don’t disagree with. But I read it as ‘Harry Potter’ and then I realized they called Harriet Harry and it was just too perfect! I don’t know if it was intentional, but it was excellent.
[Speaking of potters, if the first quote of my review (and pottery related analogies in general) resonate with you, you should read It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa Terkeurst.]
Some Randos
I got tired of hearing about that singular lock of hair Wyn had always falling places and doing things. It was like it’s own character, but not sure if we saw any growth there.
I’m not sure if these characters had as much personality as her other books. Kimmy did (probably because she seemed like an Amy Schumer type), maybe Cleo because she was artsy, but the others seemed a little bleh to me. Although as I write that it feels like I’m saying only loud or abnormal people have personalities and that’s not fair. Maybe because those are easier to picture they seem to overshadow the others.
They actually give some good advice on fighting: “There doesn’t need to be a winner and a loser. You just have to care how the other person feels. You have to care more about them than you do about being right.” I’ve been married for almost 13 years and I wish I could say this didn’t just come up recently for me… if I wasn’t right so much it wouldn’t be so hard… ha.
[If you are interested in more information on how to fight better, check out Kim and Penn Holderness’s book Everybody Fights: Why Not Get Better at It?]
In her acknowledgements Henry mentions Brittany Cavallaro, another author. I’ve had her book, A Study in Charlotte, on my TBR so that’s fun that they’re friends!
Recommendation
If you haven’t read Emily Henry before, I don’t think I would start with this one. I think her other books are better.
If you’re already a fan of hers, you'll probably like it.
It wasn’t her strongest book but the ending helped and I do like her writing style. She has a new book coming out this year in April (Funny Story) which I think I will plan to read.
We all have different thresholds for swearing and sexual content, so just be aware of what I listed below to make a decision whether or not this book is a good fit for you.
[Content Advisory: lots of f- and s-words; sexual tension throughout with graphic scenes primarily taking place in Chapter 29 and the end of Chapter 32 if you wish to skip them; two main characters are lesbians; there’s some space dedicated to getting high]
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing and Sexual content
Moderate: Drug use
A Change of Affection: A Gay Man's Incredible Story of Redemption by Becket Cook
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
“It wasn’t about simply changing my mind, but about changing my mind and heart. I can’t explain all the mechanics of this radical transformation. I just know that no one can be in the very presence of the living God and remain the same.”
Becket Cook, born in conservative Dallas in a large, wealthy, Catholic family, headed west and ran in some elite circles of Hollywood doing set design and living an unapologetic, gay lifestyle.
This was his attitude as he went to parties and photoshoots and lived his dream life:
“I wanted everyone to be free to be who they were with wild abandon and without shame, completely comfortable in their own skin. And I was furious at those in society who tried to constrain or shame others for being who they were, not least of whom were on the religious right… I wanted to see an end to this kind of intolerance and oppression. I wanted nothing less than full liberation, full inclusion, and full acceptance in the mainstream.”
His book- A Change of Affection— is not an account of ‘fixing’ his gayness. It truly is the story of redemption from a man who wanted nothing to do with God or anything Christian, yet discovered something even he couldn’t deny.
“My motivation for writing this book is not to win a debate. It is not so I could be right and you wrong. More than anything, my hope is that you will come away with a better understanding of this complex issue, from every angle, so you can make informed choices that affect eternity.”
He transparently tells us about his childhood, his coming out, his boyfriends, his career, and his feelings of discontent— there had to be something more in the world. Something that would give him more meaning and purpose than the fleeting relationships that left him empty and alone.
He shares his encounter on the streets of Hollywood with a Christian who answered his questions in a friendly conversation and invited him to church. A service he didn’t particularly want to go to:
“How could I ever consider going into a den of these foes? They think being gay is wrong. They believe who I am is a sin. I’ve felt alienated and marginalized by them my whole life. I couldn’t join that club.”
But he continued to feel compelled to go. So he went. And while he was there, he encountered God.
“Upon my conversion, God gave me a new heart and put his Spirit in me and that transformed what my heart wanted. Now my heart wants to be obedient to God, not conform to the passions of my former ignorance.”
After discovering the realness and power of God, Becket had an insatiable desire to read the Bible and listen to sermons and take in as much information as he could. He even canceled his cable subscription. It was convicting to hear his desire for God’s word because I never had a ‘conversion experience’ like him. I grew up in a Christian home and never walked away.
But my desire to hear from God through the Bible should not fade like it does. His Word is still active, powerful, and relevant. Becket’s story encourages me to pray that God would give me that thirst for his word just like Becket has. There is nothing better to be filling our minds with.
This book does not delve into all the debated Scripture passages surrounding homosexuality, but he does have a section where he answers questions he received a lot after he converted. Like:
- Isn’t unfair that you have to be alone for the rest of your life?
- But aren’t you born gay?
- Didn’t God create you that way?
- Doesn’t God want you to be happy?
- Aren’t we supposed to follow our hearts and be true to ourselves?
- Can you be gay and Christian?
- Are you straight now?
He does a great job answering these honestly, biblically, and with grace.
He knows what it feels like to be on the other side and so he also offers some insights on how we can better interact with our loved ones or others in our church who identify themselves in the LGBTQ family.
His story (and Jackie Hill Perry’s- Gay Girl, Good God) remind us that though it’s important to be able to biblically defend your beliefs and speak truth in love, we cannot discount the power of the Holy Spirit to work in people’s lives outside of our own words and actions. Our prayers are powerful and God can do more than we could ever imagine.
It’s less about winning debates as it is about bringing people to encounter Jesus. Because like Becket said, we can’t be in the presence of the living God without being changed. It’s not our responsibility to change people.
A Matter of Identity
One of the biggest problems with homosexuality today is that it has become attached to identity. Someone’s sexuality or sexual orientation is now considered the most authentic part of themselves, the thing that makes them who they are, even the most important part of themselves. Who are they without it?
This is why the conversation around this topic becomes hostile. Because the LGBTQ community has made their sexuality their identity and core characteristic, when someone says that it is a sin, they feel attacked at a very personal level- they may feel like we are calling them sin.
But I liked how Rosaria Butterfield (who used to be a lesbian) puts it in her book, Five Lies of our Anti-Christian Age:
“You cannot have union with Christ if you have made an identity out of anything else… you do yourself great harm if you insist on holding two forms of self-representation— sexual and spiritual. Both forms of self-representation compete for the same thing: your loyalty, your heart, your sense of self, your faith.”
Our identity should be in Christ, our Creator and Savior whom we are designed to worship.
Both Becket and Rosaria are proof that sexuality does not define us and that the Holy Spirit is powerful enough to change our hearts.
Becket talks about the verse in Ephesians (4:22-23) where Paul tells us to “put off” our old selves for we are “new creations.”
“I would never call myself a gay Christian because the label ‘gay’ is part of my old self, which the apostle Paul told us to get rid of. I don’t identify with that old lifestyle anymore. I am a new creation in Christ.”
He also talks about the biblical story of the rich young ruler (Mark 10) who asked Jesus how to get eternal life. The ruler reported that he followed all the commandments. Jesus told him to go sell all he had, give to the poor, and come follow him. The ruler went away sad. He was unwilling to give up his wealth for Jesus.
The story isn’t saying money is bad. It’s saying that money was his idol. He held it higher and more important than a relationship with Christ. He could not give it up.
If our identity is in anything other than Christ, it becomes an idol. It keeps us from a life devoted to Jesus. Are we willing to die to our sin, to give it up, to take up our cross and follow Him?
“Most are not sure if He is worth the sacrifice that he requires.”
In contrast to the rich young ruler, the man in Matthew 13 found the pearl of great price in a field. He went and sold everything he had to buy that field. Jesus says the kingdom of heaven is like that— its value is worth the cost.
This is a call not just to the sin of homosexuality. It is the call to every single human who puts anything else in God’s place. To follow Christ is to sacrifice and to give up that which we think we need and trust that God is more than enough for us. He satisfies every desire we have. We need nothing but Christ.
“I felt like a new creation. I no longer felt consumed by a desire for men. God’s love was more than enough; I didn’t need or want anyone else.”
Simply Put
“My sin was this, that I looked for pleasure, beauty, and truth not in him but myself and his other creatures, and the search led me instead to pain, confusion, and error.”— Augustine
Becket experienced the same thing as Augustine. But God rescued him from a life of emptiness, pain, confusion, meaninglessness, and selfish pride. The life we all need to be rescued from.
His story of redemption is not a one-off. It’s the open invitation of the gospel. It’s for you and it’s for me.
“The overwhelming wonder of God’s infinite love is this: While I was broken and a failure, God came to rescue me. He came to love me, to redeem me, and to heal me from sin. Where I failed, Christ succeeded on my behalf. Where I distrusted, Christ was faithful. When I proudly resisted, he humbly surrendered. Through his obedience, he bridged the chasm between my darkness and his light.”
Recommendation
What I like about this book is that it’s written like a memoir. There is a place for books that discuss the relevant Scripture passages (like some that I listed below), but there is also a need for books like this that approach the subject from a very personal and transparent angle.
I think it’s a non-threatening book that can act as an introduction into considering the biblical point of view from someone who has seen Christians as the enemy but discovered something that changed his mind.
I think it also presents a humanizing point of view to Christians who are well-versed in Scripture but not in the hearts of those who struggle with same-sex attraction. It is a reminder to love, to be patient, and to pray.
Like Becket has said, it’s a complex topic with a lot of layers and experiences. The Bible is clear, but the way we bring that to people’s attention matters.
I recommend you read Becket’s story. I also recommend that you continue reading on the topic and I’ve provided a list of other books at the end of this review.
Some Other Quotes
“I have come to realize, as the Bible describes, that I deserve nothing, and yet in my brokenness Jesus came to give me everything.”
“Just as God did not create me gay, he also, for example, did not create heterosexuals with the desire to objectify women as sexual objects for selfish pleasure. We see this exemplified throughout society with rampant addiction to pornography. Neither is right simply because it exists. It is a gross misunderstanding to believe that anything that feels natural is righteous.”
“I don’t think we realize as a culture how damaging it is emotionally, not to mention physically (for example STDs) to engage in casual sex. We may think it’s no big deal, but it leads to a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering for both parties involved.”
“If you believe that homosexuality is a sin, you are immediately labeled a bigot or homophobic. It’s not even okay anymore to just agree to disagree… Somewhere in the last decade, ‘I disagree with you’ came to mean, ‘I hate you.’ Tolerance used to mean something along the lines of, ‘I disagree with your view, but I’m willing to tolerate it,’ because it wouldn’t be tolerance otherwise. Now, however, tolerance has been redefined as , ‘If you don’t affirm everything I do, then you are intolerant!’”
(Related to this: The Intolerance of Tolerance by D.A. Carson)
“Although we are not forced to bow down to a golden image, we are pressured to bow down to the great god of Public Opinion.”
“This may sound extreme, but if you aren’t truthful, you are knowingly aiding and abetting them down the path of destruction.”
For a list of further reading on this subject see my original review HERE.
Becket Cook, born in conservative Dallas in a large, wealthy, Catholic family, headed west and ran in some elite circles of Hollywood doing set design and living an unapologetic, gay lifestyle.
This was his attitude as he went to parties and photoshoots and lived his dream life:
“I wanted everyone to be free to be who they were with wild abandon and without shame, completely comfortable in their own skin. And I was furious at those in society who tried to constrain or shame others for being who they were, not least of whom were on the religious right… I wanted to see an end to this kind of intolerance and oppression. I wanted nothing less than full liberation, full inclusion, and full acceptance in the mainstream.”
His book- A Change of Affection— is not an account of ‘fixing’ his gayness. It truly is the story of redemption from a man who wanted nothing to do with God or anything Christian, yet discovered something even he couldn’t deny.
“My motivation for writing this book is not to win a debate. It is not so I could be right and you wrong. More than anything, my hope is that you will come away with a better understanding of this complex issue, from every angle, so you can make informed choices that affect eternity.”
He transparently tells us about his childhood, his coming out, his boyfriends, his career, and his feelings of discontent— there had to be something more in the world. Something that would give him more meaning and purpose than the fleeting relationships that left him empty and alone.
He shares his encounter on the streets of Hollywood with a Christian who answered his questions in a friendly conversation and invited him to church. A service he didn’t particularly want to go to:
“How could I ever consider going into a den of these foes? They think being gay is wrong. They believe who I am is a sin. I’ve felt alienated and marginalized by them my whole life. I couldn’t join that club.”
But he continued to feel compelled to go. So he went. And while he was there, he encountered God.
“Upon my conversion, God gave me a new heart and put his Spirit in me and that transformed what my heart wanted. Now my heart wants to be obedient to God, not conform to the passions of my former ignorance.”
After discovering the realness and power of God, Becket had an insatiable desire to read the Bible and listen to sermons and take in as much information as he could. He even canceled his cable subscription. It was convicting to hear his desire for God’s word because I never had a ‘conversion experience’ like him. I grew up in a Christian home and never walked away.
But my desire to hear from God through the Bible should not fade like it does. His Word is still active, powerful, and relevant. Becket’s story encourages me to pray that God would give me that thirst for his word just like Becket has. There is nothing better to be filling our minds with.
This book does not delve into all the debated Scripture passages surrounding homosexuality, but he does have a section where he answers questions he received a lot after he converted. Like:
- Isn’t unfair that you have to be alone for the rest of your life?
- But aren’t you born gay?
- Didn’t God create you that way?
- Doesn’t God want you to be happy?
- Aren’t we supposed to follow our hearts and be true to ourselves?
- Can you be gay and Christian?
- Are you straight now?
He does a great job answering these honestly, biblically, and with grace.
He knows what it feels like to be on the other side and so he also offers some insights on how we can better interact with our loved ones or others in our church who identify themselves in the LGBTQ family.
His story (and Jackie Hill Perry’s- Gay Girl, Good God) remind us that though it’s important to be able to biblically defend your beliefs and speak truth in love, we cannot discount the power of the Holy Spirit to work in people’s lives outside of our own words and actions. Our prayers are powerful and God can do more than we could ever imagine.
It’s less about winning debates as it is about bringing people to encounter Jesus. Because like Becket said, we can’t be in the presence of the living God without being changed. It’s not our responsibility to change people.
A Matter of Identity
One of the biggest problems with homosexuality today is that it has become attached to identity. Someone’s sexuality or sexual orientation is now considered the most authentic part of themselves, the thing that makes them who they are, even the most important part of themselves. Who are they without it?
This is why the conversation around this topic becomes hostile. Because the LGBTQ community has made their sexuality their identity and core characteristic, when someone says that it is a sin, they feel attacked at a very personal level- they may feel like we are calling them sin.
But I liked how Rosaria Butterfield (who used to be a lesbian) puts it in her book, Five Lies of our Anti-Christian Age:
“You cannot have union with Christ if you have made an identity out of anything else… you do yourself great harm if you insist on holding two forms of self-representation— sexual and spiritual. Both forms of self-representation compete for the same thing: your loyalty, your heart, your sense of self, your faith.”
Our identity should be in Christ, our Creator and Savior whom we are designed to worship.
Both Becket and Rosaria are proof that sexuality does not define us and that the Holy Spirit is powerful enough to change our hearts.
Becket talks about the verse in Ephesians (4:22-23) where Paul tells us to “put off” our old selves for we are “new creations.”
“I would never call myself a gay Christian because the label ‘gay’ is part of my old self, which the apostle Paul told us to get rid of. I don’t identify with that old lifestyle anymore. I am a new creation in Christ.”
He also talks about the biblical story of the rich young ruler (Mark 10) who asked Jesus how to get eternal life. The ruler reported that he followed all the commandments. Jesus told him to go sell all he had, give to the poor, and come follow him. The ruler went away sad. He was unwilling to give up his wealth for Jesus.
The story isn’t saying money is bad. It’s saying that money was his idol. He held it higher and more important than a relationship with Christ. He could not give it up.
If our identity is in anything other than Christ, it becomes an idol. It keeps us from a life devoted to Jesus. Are we willing to die to our sin, to give it up, to take up our cross and follow Him?
“Most are not sure if He is worth the sacrifice that he requires.”
In contrast to the rich young ruler, the man in Matthew 13 found the pearl of great price in a field. He went and sold everything he had to buy that field. Jesus says the kingdom of heaven is like that— its value is worth the cost.
This is a call not just to the sin of homosexuality. It is the call to every single human who puts anything else in God’s place. To follow Christ is to sacrifice and to give up that which we think we need and trust that God is more than enough for us. He satisfies every desire we have. We need nothing but Christ.
“I felt like a new creation. I no longer felt consumed by a desire for men. God’s love was more than enough; I didn’t need or want anyone else.”
Simply Put
“My sin was this, that I looked for pleasure, beauty, and truth not in him but myself and his other creatures, and the search led me instead to pain, confusion, and error.”— Augustine
Becket experienced the same thing as Augustine. But God rescued him from a life of emptiness, pain, confusion, meaninglessness, and selfish pride. The life we all need to be rescued from.
His story of redemption is not a one-off. It’s the open invitation of the gospel. It’s for you and it’s for me.
“The overwhelming wonder of God’s infinite love is this: While I was broken and a failure, God came to rescue me. He came to love me, to redeem me, and to heal me from sin. Where I failed, Christ succeeded on my behalf. Where I distrusted, Christ was faithful. When I proudly resisted, he humbly surrendered. Through his obedience, he bridged the chasm between my darkness and his light.”
Recommendation
What I like about this book is that it’s written like a memoir. There is a place for books that discuss the relevant Scripture passages (like some that I listed below), but there is also a need for books like this that approach the subject from a very personal and transparent angle.
I think it’s a non-threatening book that can act as an introduction into considering the biblical point of view from someone who has seen Christians as the enemy but discovered something that changed his mind.
I think it also presents a humanizing point of view to Christians who are well-versed in Scripture but not in the hearts of those who struggle with same-sex attraction. It is a reminder to love, to be patient, and to pray.
Like Becket has said, it’s a complex topic with a lot of layers and experiences. The Bible is clear, but the way we bring that to people’s attention matters.
I recommend you read Becket’s story. I also recommend that you continue reading on the topic and I’ve provided a list of other books at the end of this review.
Some Other Quotes
“I have come to realize, as the Bible describes, that I deserve nothing, and yet in my brokenness Jesus came to give me everything.”
“Just as God did not create me gay, he also, for example, did not create heterosexuals with the desire to objectify women as sexual objects for selfish pleasure. We see this exemplified throughout society with rampant addiction to pornography. Neither is right simply because it exists. It is a gross misunderstanding to believe that anything that feels natural is righteous.”
“I don’t think we realize as a culture how damaging it is emotionally, not to mention physically (for example STDs) to engage in casual sex. We may think it’s no big deal, but it leads to a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering for both parties involved.”
“If you believe that homosexuality is a sin, you are immediately labeled a bigot or homophobic. It’s not even okay anymore to just agree to disagree… Somewhere in the last decade, ‘I disagree with you’ came to mean, ‘I hate you.’ Tolerance used to mean something along the lines of, ‘I disagree with your view, but I’m willing to tolerate it,’ because it wouldn’t be tolerance otherwise. Now, however, tolerance has been redefined as , ‘If you don’t affirm everything I do, then you are intolerant!’”
(Related to this: The Intolerance of Tolerance by D.A. Carson)
“Although we are not forced to bow down to a golden image, we are pressured to bow down to the great god of Public Opinion.”
“This may sound extreme, but if you aren’t truthful, you are knowingly aiding and abetting them down the path of destruction.”
For a list of further reading on this subject see my original review HERE.
The Clinic by Cate Quinn
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
[Would have been 5 stars if not for all the f-words.]
(Also, in case you need this reminder: Cate Quinn is not Kate Quinn)
“‘Please. Call me. I need to tell you something about when we were kids. I need to tell you before it’s too late.”
That’s the last voicemail Meg has from her sister, Haley, before she sees on the news that Haley committed suicide at a luxury rehab clinic.
But Haley died of heroin injection and Meg knows Haley would never do that. Something is amiss and she is willing to commit herself to the same rehab clinic to find the answers. She doesn’t need a cover because she has her own addiction (to oxycodone) that she needs to kick anyway if she’s going to keep her job taking down the loan sharks at casinos.
A shark among sharks, Meg’s priority is to find out what happened to Haley, but her own trauma and addictions might keep her from getting anywhere helpful.
“You’re not going to like this, Meg. But to solve your sister’s murder, you might need to solve yourself.”
That’s the set-up of this very good thriller and if it wasn’t for all the f-words I would say this would be a definite must-read.
The book gives a bit of a Shutter Island vibe in its setting and characters.
“Someplace in the Pacific Northwest with plenty of rain and cold so they can all feel good and miserable, paying megabucks for the privilege while some shaman channels their auras or something.”
(Okay, a bit different era, but you get the idea)
Meg enters rehab with a bunch of addicts who are willing to lie, steal, and cheat for their addiction. Add to that withdrawal symptoms like hallucinations and the side effects of the treatment methods they undergo, and we’ve got some hard to read, unpredictable and untrustworthy characters.
And Meg isn’t necessarily in her right mind either. To stay in the clinic and investigate she has to take part in the treatment herself— which means unlocking the trauma of her own childhood that Haley alluded to in her call.
Her only confidant is Harry who is waiting for her ‘on the outside,’ wanting her to get better, but also worrying about her safety— trapped in a remote clinic with a killer.
“That’s the problem with you, Meg. You’re not afraid of anything. And you should be.”
I love the setting because the unreliability and eeriness adds to the mystery and makes you second guess what you think you know. Even though I figured out bits and pieces early on, there were some good surprises waiting for me at the end!
It’s one of those books that when you finish you want to re-read to see what you missed.
The book begins with the scene right before Haley’s death: “Haley knew no drug could help her now. This would be the room she would die in.”
Then we alternate between chapters told from Meg’s POV and Cara’s— the newish manager of the clinic.
We also have the director/owner of the clinic who I picture as a cross between the dad on The Prodigal Son TV show and Daniel Hartman on Suits with the voice of Daniel Hartman because I don’t know what a Swiss accent sounds like. He’s got that smooth but sketchy demeanor that is intelligent and slick but you just always feel like they have ulterior motives and that they’re tricking you somehow.
Sure, the characters aren’t super loveable, but I didn’t find Meg and Cara annoying at least. Plus Meg is going through a lot so you give her behavior and attitude a little grace because of her mental state. Of course she’s not going to be cheery and super friendly.
I’m not sure we fully got to know Cara well. Some of her past was hinted at but we don’t really get into it; and even though we’re in her head she still feels like she’s held at arms length from us readers.
The treatment they receive at the clinic is ‘cutting edge’ which can also be read: fictional (well mostly… you can google it). So it’s a bit out there but it didn’t distract me from the story, I think it enhanced it. I don’t need books to be medically realistic all the time and in this case it was integral to the whole plot so it made sense to me that Quinn wrote things the way she did.
I read this book on the kindle app which means I was not very aware of the page amount as I read. Some reviewers have commented that it’s too long of a read, but when I looked on Goodreads and saw it was 448 pages, I will say it didn’t feel that long to me when I read it! The short chapters really helped.
I thought it was really cool that the author, Cate Quinn, shares in the author’s note and in this article about her own experience with her alcohol addiction and attending rehab where the idea of this book emerged.
She was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to write a book without alcohol. This was her first book sober which is a feat and a very good one at that! It adds authenticity to the rehab experience she depicts and the physical and emotional feelings of withdrawal she felt to some degree herself as well as the trauma that induced her addiction to begin with.
“I entered rehab broken, using alcohol as my armour. When I left, I wasn’t alone and afraid any more. I had taken my first steps towards asking other people for help when I needed it.” (Cate Quinn)
I think it will probably be hard for some people to read if they have/had their own addiction journey, but at the same time, maybe it will inspire readers with addictions to acknowledge that they have one and that there is help and hope to overcome it!
I would definitely recommend this book, but again, there are over 100 f-words so that makes it hard to recommend to some. Maybe some day the kindle app will develop a feature to give the option to censor swear words for those of us who care about that!
[Content Advisory: 112 f-words, 24 s-words; trigger warnings for drug addiction and rehab; no sex scenes but Meg keeps seeing a lady in lingerie]
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
(Also, in case you need this reminder: Cate Quinn is not Kate Quinn)
“‘Please. Call me. I need to tell you something about when we were kids. I need to tell you before it’s too late.”
That’s the last voicemail Meg has from her sister, Haley, before she sees on the news that Haley committed suicide at a luxury rehab clinic.
But Haley died of heroin injection and Meg knows Haley would never do that. Something is amiss and she is willing to commit herself to the same rehab clinic to find the answers. She doesn’t need a cover because she has her own addiction (to oxycodone) that she needs to kick anyway if she’s going to keep her job taking down the loan sharks at casinos.
A shark among sharks, Meg’s priority is to find out what happened to Haley, but her own trauma and addictions might keep her from getting anywhere helpful.
“You’re not going to like this, Meg. But to solve your sister’s murder, you might need to solve yourself.”
That’s the set-up of this very good thriller and if it wasn’t for all the f-words I would say this would be a definite must-read.
The book gives a bit of a Shutter Island vibe in its setting and characters.
“Someplace in the Pacific Northwest with plenty of rain and cold so they can all feel good and miserable, paying megabucks for the privilege while some shaman channels their auras or something.”
(Okay, a bit different era, but you get the idea)
Meg enters rehab with a bunch of addicts who are willing to lie, steal, and cheat for their addiction. Add to that withdrawal symptoms like hallucinations and the side effects of the treatment methods they undergo, and we’ve got some hard to read, unpredictable and untrustworthy characters.
And Meg isn’t necessarily in her right mind either. To stay in the clinic and investigate she has to take part in the treatment herself— which means unlocking the trauma of her own childhood that Haley alluded to in her call.
Her only confidant is Harry who is waiting for her ‘on the outside,’ wanting her to get better, but also worrying about her safety— trapped in a remote clinic with a killer.
“That’s the problem with you, Meg. You’re not afraid of anything. And you should be.”
I love the setting because the unreliability and eeriness adds to the mystery and makes you second guess what you think you know. Even though I figured out bits and pieces early on, there were some good surprises waiting for me at the end!
It’s one of those books that when you finish you want to re-read to see what you missed.
The book begins with the scene right before Haley’s death: “Haley knew no drug could help her now. This would be the room she would die in.”
Then we alternate between chapters told from Meg’s POV and Cara’s— the newish manager of the clinic.
We also have the director/owner of the clinic who I picture as a cross between the dad on The Prodigal Son TV show and Daniel Hartman on Suits with the voice of Daniel Hartman because I don’t know what a Swiss accent sounds like. He’s got that smooth but sketchy demeanor that is intelligent and slick but you just always feel like they have ulterior motives and that they’re tricking you somehow.
Sure, the characters aren’t super loveable, but I didn’t find Meg and Cara annoying at least. Plus Meg is going through a lot so you give her behavior and attitude a little grace because of her mental state. Of course she’s not going to be cheery and super friendly.
I’m not sure we fully got to know Cara well. Some of her past was hinted at but we don’t really get into it; and even though we’re in her head she still feels like she’s held at arms length from us readers.
The treatment they receive at the clinic is ‘cutting edge’ which can also be read: fictional (well mostly… you can google it). So it’s a bit out there but it didn’t distract me from the story, I think it enhanced it. I don’t need books to be medically realistic all the time and in this case it was integral to the whole plot so it made sense to me that Quinn wrote things the way she did.
I read this book on the kindle app which means I was not very aware of the page amount as I read. Some reviewers have commented that it’s too long of a read, but when I looked on Goodreads and saw it was 448 pages, I will say it didn’t feel that long to me when I read it! The short chapters really helped.
I thought it was really cool that the author, Cate Quinn, shares in the author’s note and in this article about her own experience with her alcohol addiction and attending rehab where the idea of this book emerged.
She was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to write a book without alcohol. This was her first book sober which is a feat and a very good one at that! It adds authenticity to the rehab experience she depicts and the physical and emotional feelings of withdrawal she felt to some degree herself as well as the trauma that induced her addiction to begin with.
“I entered rehab broken, using alcohol as my armour. When I left, I wasn’t alone and afraid any more. I had taken my first steps towards asking other people for help when I needed it.” (Cate Quinn)
I think it will probably be hard for some people to read if they have/had their own addiction journey, but at the same time, maybe it will inspire readers with addictions to acknowledge that they have one and that there is help and hope to overcome it!
I would definitely recommend this book, but again, there are over 100 f-words so that makes it hard to recommend to some. Maybe some day the kindle app will develop a feature to give the option to censor swear words for those of us who care about that!
[Content Advisory: 112 f-words, 24 s-words; trigger warnings for drug addiction and rehab; no sex scenes but Meg keeps seeing a lady in lingerie]
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction and Cursing
Moderate: Drug use and Suicide
Reforming Criminal Justice: A Christian Proposal by Matthew T. Martens
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
“How would we design the justice system if we did not know our lot in life and thus did not know whether we were more likely to be a crime victim or a criminal defendant?”
‘The American justice system is corrupt’ is a politically charged and unhelpful statement. But I’ve heard it like a broken record lately.
This book has done what nothing else has been able to do thus far: tell me specific ways the justice system is unfair, biased, or unjust.
Martens has both decades of law experience— as a federal prosecutor AND a criminal defense attorney— and a seminary degree. This puts him in a unique and extremely helpful position to help Christians (or non-believers for that matter) see the ways the justice system has failed (from firsthand experience in a courtroom) and help us think critically about how our criminal justice system functions in light of biblical justice.
Martens’s main thesis is that a justice system should be aligned with biblical justice in that it functions to love ALL neighbors— both the victims and the accused.
His writing is loving, fair, clear, and does not attempt to take sides on any recent politically charged and public case. I appreciated this because it increased my ability to trust his motive in writing in the book and the research he used to make his points.
He seems to have a very astute mind for the nation’s varying perspectives of the justice system and how conversations tend to go when talking about it— whether that’s in ignorance of what actually happens in the courtroom, popular crime and incarceration statistics, only looking at either the inputs or the outputs of the system, or just touting political talking points.
But none of this will accomplish much if we don’t understand “the design and operation of the features, procedures, actors, and laws that make up the system.”
The first part of the book shows us what the Bible says about justice and what God has ordained government’s role to be. Then it outlines five main pillars of biblical justice: accuracy, due process, impartiality, accountability, and proportionality.
“The core of biblical justice is accuracy, due process is the means to accuracy, impartiality protects accuracy, accountability punishes inaccuracy, and proportionality ensures accuracy about severity.”
He shows how the Bible requires sufficient evidence that shows what truly happened; that the process this happens through is designed to find truth and an opportunity for the accused to be heard; that verdicts are given out fairly across different races, genders, or social classes, not giving special treatment to ‘favored’ groups; that those in charge of rendering verdicts and moving the process along should not receive immunity if they fail to act morally and according to the law; and that the punishment fits and tells the truth about the severity of the crime.
The second part of the book takes those principles and then uses them to analyze various parts of our legal system such as: plea bargains, jury selection, judges, assistance of counsel, witnesses, exculpatory evidence, sentencing, and the death penalty.
Along the way Martens gives us the history of our legal system in general but also of various laws and procedures— why they were enacted and analyzes whether or not they are doing what they were intended to do.
Right up front he addresses the common objection to talking about criminal justice— that it distracts from the gospel.
The term ‘social justice’ can mean a lot of things right now (and I would highly recommend you read Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth to delve more into what it should mean), and often promotes its principles as higher than or equal to the gospel in many ways.
Martens helpfully defines what he means when he says it: “When I use the term ‘social justice,’ I mean nothing more than justice in the structuring of a society. I am referring to the design of a society in a way that treats all its members justly. A society is a group of people who live together in some ordered way.”
So then, should we make social justice/criminal justice a priority?
Martens answers:
“Christ’s salvific work includes our sanctification… what is sanctification if not Christ’s conforming us to live justly in this world.”
“the answer to injustice mislabeled as ‘social justice’ is not to abandon the pursuit of social justice altogether. True social justice belongs to the church. A real social justice— accomplished imperfectly now through our sanctification and perfectly in the end through our glorification in the new earth— is a crucial pose of the gospel.”
I find Thaddeus Williams’ distinction in CIWCT (above) helpful: “Justice is not the first thing. The gospel is. But that does not make justice optional to the Christian life… Instead of saying social justice is the gospel or in the gospel, it is more helpful to say social justice is from the gospel.”
Bottom line: God is just. And God is loving. Therefore we should care about justice and loving all his image bearers. If we are Christ-followers, neither of those things are optional; they are vital and will require sacrifice to strive for.
I think that might be the most poignant thing I take away from this book. Martens is aware that people tend to relate to one neighbor more than another—either the victim or the accused. This ‘bias’ then influences how we view and vote for things in the legal system.
A helpful analogy he used: If your two kids want to split the last piece of pie, you let one of them cut it in half and the other one gets to choose their piece first. The first kid makes a fair cut of the pie because they don’t know which piece they’ll be getting.
The same should be true of the legal system.
“If we most fear being a crime victim and think it unlikely that we could be criminally accused, we may well favor “victim’s rights,” resent procedural protections for criminal defendants that make convictions more difficult and support harsh sentences for those convicted. By contrast, if we most fear false conviction we may hold the opposite views.”
I was convicted that I subconsciously (or overtly) tend to think the accused is guilty and wave off certain issues because ‘they’re probably guilty anyway.’ That is not loving my neighbor and that is not promoting biblical justice.
As I read through the various procedures Martens details, I was pretty shocked by what is legal and how that affects the accused— and indirectly the victim if innocent people are being convicted and the actual perpetrators are going free. If I were accused, I can’t imagine having to face those disadvantages; I would feel pretty helpless!
The burden of proving guilt is on the prosecutor. The system should be built in a way that actually finds out the truth and convicts accurately, sentences proportionately, and is held accountable for their procedures. If we can do that, then we can trust that the guilty will be caught. We shouldn’t give prosecutors undue advantages that thwart that process.
“Identical treatment is not required of offender and victim, but equal regard for the good of them both (impartiality) is a key element of biblical justice.”
The hard reality is that that might mean some guilty go free if the prosecutor can’t gather enough compelling evidence or witnesses. But this book has softened my heart on this issue and I believe that is better than falsely convicting an innocent person which would be two injustices— wrongly punishing an innocent AND still allowing the guilty person to go free.
“But we are not without hope… Wrongdoers will not escape the arm of the Lord even if their time on this earth passes without giving an account.”
Martens states that the error rate of falsely convicted is about 2% given the information we have, but the rate is most likely higher.
“A conservative estimate is that at least 1 percent of the United States prison population, meaning approximately 20,000 people, is incarcerated as the result of wrongful convictions.”
“If you’re inclined to think that 1 to 2 percent is a low error rate, ask yourselves this: Would you willingly enter a room of one hundred people if you knew that one or two of them would be randomly shot and killed? Would you send your children into that room?”
I am one of the ones that is inclined to think 1-2% is low. But he’s right, that if I were to put myself in those shoes, I wouldn’t be okay with that risk. So what percentage of error is acceptable? He doesn’t say and I’m not sure we can put a number on it.
The idea is that if we can do better, we should.
And I believe there has to be a way. The problems he lists do not seem impossible to adjust.
[Goodreads didn't give me enough space to talk about them so see my list on my original post HERE]
The death penalty gets its own little blurb here as it’s a contested topic and one Martens admitted he changed his mind on. I appreciate the way Martens handled his answer to the question of whether capital punishment is just. He acknowledges that the Bible authorizes it and sometimes commands it.
“The biblical record is overwhelming in its affirmation of the death penalty as a just punishment for certain crimes.”
But he says,
“In a justice system that injects race into jury selections in trials before elected judges who run on ‘tough on crime’ campaign platforms with defendants represented by overworked and underfunded defense teams while the prosecution conceals exculpatory evidence without consequence, I am unwilling to wager another man’s life.”
And though I believe the death penalty is a valid deterrent and a just punishment in some cases, I can’t really argue with Martens here.
He gives a lot of statistics on the disproportionate application of the death penalty, particularly on black people.
“Most murders are intra-racial… In the most recent year for which data is available, 91% of Black murder victims were killed by Blacks, while 81% of White murder victims were killed by Whites… Thus were race not playing a role we would expect to see most of the Black defendants sentenced to death to be in cases where they murdered a fellow Black personal. In fact, the statistics show precisely the opposite.”
I don’t really understand how our justice system would still be operating with racial prejudice when it comes to applying the death penalty, but apparently the statistics show that. And if that is the case, then I think I would have to agree that until some changes are made to due process to actually find out the truth about who is guilty and who is innocent and then applying sentencing with a blind eye to race or social class, then I’m not sure I can defend the death penalty either.
What Am I Supposed to Do?
One of my critiques of a lot of these kinds of books is the that they spend the entire book criticizing ‘the system’ and showing how corrupt or unjust it is and then offer nothing constructive. We just sit there with all the pieces they shattered, unsure what to do with them.
That’s not helpful.
Martens doesn’t give answers in the form of policy changes we all need to request of our state governments, though part of me wishes he had.
“There is no one-size-fits-all approach for all cultures, histories, localities, and generations— not even for all Christians… we have 3144 criminal justice systems— one for each county in the US, each with its distinct features, priorities, strengths, and weaknesses.”
But he doesn’t leave us empty-handed.
He gives us four exhortations:
- Think differently: view both the victim and the accused as your neighbor and an image-bearer of God; be careful of the labels you use and the jokes you make; want what is best for all people
- Speak differently: have better, more informed discussions about the actual issues instead of the political talking points; teach your children to love kindness, justice, and truth by the way you talk about others
- Work differently: for those who work in relation to the legal system, advocate for just laws or quit if your job forces you to act immorally
- Vote differently: criminal justice should be have high moral priority when considering who to vote for; be involved in the election of your county’s district attorney (pg 348 has a list of questions you may ask at a townhall; as a juror your vote is powerful so judge the case morally and with love for what is best for the defendant
“Each and every one of us can, starting even today, think differently about justice, speak differently in our sphere of influence, work differently if need be, and vote differently when the opportunity presents itself.”
It may not be the specific answers we wish we had, but Martens does give us more than most without piling on guilt.
Recommendation
This is a must-read book.
Especially if you have any sort of influence in the legal system from policing, to legislature, to trial participation to prison management. Go ahead and buy one for your district attorney, your judges, your senators, your representatives, your police chief.
Martens isn’t writing for a political agenda. He is writing for truth and justice and deals with facts and figures, laws and cases. It will shock you, it will anger you, and it will enlighten you.
As someone who knows both the law as it is in real life (not just in Suits or Law and Order) and the Bible, Martens is an excellent source to glean knowledge from as we look at how we can better love our neighbor through our criminal justice system.
Hopefully we are never at trial, but if we were, we would want a fair one and one that didn’t back us in a corner to plead guilty to something we didn’t do.
This is definitely a book I’ll reference and recommend when it comes to discussions of criminal justice.
Further Reading:
He attends church with Mark Dever and Jonathan Leeman and quoted one of Leeman’s books that I also found to be a really helpful book:
How the Nations Rage by Jonathan Leeman
Their church is in the heart of D.C. and their congregation is a diverse piece of the political pie. This book helps us view politics rightly in the church and how to view and engage with brothers and sisters in Christ who disagree with our political values. It was fair, balanced, practical, and helpful.
Another relevant book is Kevin DeYoung’s book:
What is the Mission of the Church by Kevin DeYoung
This engages more with the tension of pursuing social justice without compromising the priority of the gospel. What is the church’s role? It is important to note that there is a difference between the individual and the church specifically. This book made sense to me though I’m sure there are people who will disagree with it.
I’m sure there are many books that tell the stories of innocent people on death row but here are a couple to start with:
Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
I Shall Not Die by Billy Neal Moore
**I received a copy of this book via Crossway in exchange for an honest review**
‘The American justice system is corrupt’ is a politically charged and unhelpful statement. But I’ve heard it like a broken record lately.
This book has done what nothing else has been able to do thus far: tell me specific ways the justice system is unfair, biased, or unjust.
Martens has both decades of law experience— as a federal prosecutor AND a criminal defense attorney— and a seminary degree. This puts him in a unique and extremely helpful position to help Christians (or non-believers for that matter) see the ways the justice system has failed (from firsthand experience in a courtroom) and help us think critically about how our criminal justice system functions in light of biblical justice.
Martens’s main thesis is that a justice system should be aligned with biblical justice in that it functions to love ALL neighbors— both the victims and the accused.
His writing is loving, fair, clear, and does not attempt to take sides on any recent politically charged and public case. I appreciated this because it increased my ability to trust his motive in writing in the book and the research he used to make his points.
He seems to have a very astute mind for the nation’s varying perspectives of the justice system and how conversations tend to go when talking about it— whether that’s in ignorance of what actually happens in the courtroom, popular crime and incarceration statistics, only looking at either the inputs or the outputs of the system, or just touting political talking points.
But none of this will accomplish much if we don’t understand “the design and operation of the features, procedures, actors, and laws that make up the system.”
The first part of the book shows us what the Bible says about justice and what God has ordained government’s role to be. Then it outlines five main pillars of biblical justice: accuracy, due process, impartiality, accountability, and proportionality.
“The core of biblical justice is accuracy, due process is the means to accuracy, impartiality protects accuracy, accountability punishes inaccuracy, and proportionality ensures accuracy about severity.”
He shows how the Bible requires sufficient evidence that shows what truly happened; that the process this happens through is designed to find truth and an opportunity for the accused to be heard; that verdicts are given out fairly across different races, genders, or social classes, not giving special treatment to ‘favored’ groups; that those in charge of rendering verdicts and moving the process along should not receive immunity if they fail to act morally and according to the law; and that the punishment fits and tells the truth about the severity of the crime.
The second part of the book takes those principles and then uses them to analyze various parts of our legal system such as: plea bargains, jury selection, judges, assistance of counsel, witnesses, exculpatory evidence, sentencing, and the death penalty.
Along the way Martens gives us the history of our legal system in general but also of various laws and procedures— why they were enacted and analyzes whether or not they are doing what they were intended to do.
Right up front he addresses the common objection to talking about criminal justice— that it distracts from the gospel.
The term ‘social justice’ can mean a lot of things right now (and I would highly recommend you read Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth to delve more into what it should mean), and often promotes its principles as higher than or equal to the gospel in many ways.
Martens helpfully defines what he means when he says it: “When I use the term ‘social justice,’ I mean nothing more than justice in the structuring of a society. I am referring to the design of a society in a way that treats all its members justly. A society is a group of people who live together in some ordered way.”
So then, should we make social justice/criminal justice a priority?
Martens answers:
“Christ’s salvific work includes our sanctification… what is sanctification if not Christ’s conforming us to live justly in this world.”
“the answer to injustice mislabeled as ‘social justice’ is not to abandon the pursuit of social justice altogether. True social justice belongs to the church. A real social justice— accomplished imperfectly now through our sanctification and perfectly in the end through our glorification in the new earth— is a crucial pose of the gospel.”
I find Thaddeus Williams’ distinction in CIWCT (above) helpful: “Justice is not the first thing. The gospel is. But that does not make justice optional to the Christian life… Instead of saying social justice is the gospel or in the gospel, it is more helpful to say social justice is from the gospel.”
Bottom line: God is just. And God is loving. Therefore we should care about justice and loving all his image bearers. If we are Christ-followers, neither of those things are optional; they are vital and will require sacrifice to strive for.
I think that might be the most poignant thing I take away from this book. Martens is aware that people tend to relate to one neighbor more than another—either the victim or the accused. This ‘bias’ then influences how we view and vote for things in the legal system.
A helpful analogy he used: If your two kids want to split the last piece of pie, you let one of them cut it in half and the other one gets to choose their piece first. The first kid makes a fair cut of the pie because they don’t know which piece they’ll be getting.
The same should be true of the legal system.
“If we most fear being a crime victim and think it unlikely that we could be criminally accused, we may well favor “victim’s rights,” resent procedural protections for criminal defendants that make convictions more difficult and support harsh sentences for those convicted. By contrast, if we most fear false conviction we may hold the opposite views.”
I was convicted that I subconsciously (or overtly) tend to think the accused is guilty and wave off certain issues because ‘they’re probably guilty anyway.’ That is not loving my neighbor and that is not promoting biblical justice.
As I read through the various procedures Martens details, I was pretty shocked by what is legal and how that affects the accused— and indirectly the victim if innocent people are being convicted and the actual perpetrators are going free. If I were accused, I can’t imagine having to face those disadvantages; I would feel pretty helpless!
The burden of proving guilt is on the prosecutor. The system should be built in a way that actually finds out the truth and convicts accurately, sentences proportionately, and is held accountable for their procedures. If we can do that, then we can trust that the guilty will be caught. We shouldn’t give prosecutors undue advantages that thwart that process.
“Identical treatment is not required of offender and victim, but equal regard for the good of them both (impartiality) is a key element of biblical justice.”
The hard reality is that that might mean some guilty go free if the prosecutor can’t gather enough compelling evidence or witnesses. But this book has softened my heart on this issue and I believe that is better than falsely convicting an innocent person which would be two injustices— wrongly punishing an innocent AND still allowing the guilty person to go free.
“But we are not without hope… Wrongdoers will not escape the arm of the Lord even if their time on this earth passes without giving an account.”
Martens states that the error rate of falsely convicted is about 2% given the information we have, but the rate is most likely higher.
“A conservative estimate is that at least 1 percent of the United States prison population, meaning approximately 20,000 people, is incarcerated as the result of wrongful convictions.”
“If you’re inclined to think that 1 to 2 percent is a low error rate, ask yourselves this: Would you willingly enter a room of one hundred people if you knew that one or two of them would be randomly shot and killed? Would you send your children into that room?”
I am one of the ones that is inclined to think 1-2% is low. But he’s right, that if I were to put myself in those shoes, I wouldn’t be okay with that risk. So what percentage of error is acceptable? He doesn’t say and I’m not sure we can put a number on it.
The idea is that if we can do better, we should.
And I believe there has to be a way. The problems he lists do not seem impossible to adjust.
[Goodreads didn't give me enough space to talk about them so see my list on my original post HERE]
The death penalty gets its own little blurb here as it’s a contested topic and one Martens admitted he changed his mind on. I appreciate the way Martens handled his answer to the question of whether capital punishment is just. He acknowledges that the Bible authorizes it and sometimes commands it.
“The biblical record is overwhelming in its affirmation of the death penalty as a just punishment for certain crimes.”
But he says,
“In a justice system that injects race into jury selections in trials before elected judges who run on ‘tough on crime’ campaign platforms with defendants represented by overworked and underfunded defense teams while the prosecution conceals exculpatory evidence without consequence, I am unwilling to wager another man’s life.”
And though I believe the death penalty is a valid deterrent and a just punishment in some cases, I can’t really argue with Martens here.
He gives a lot of statistics on the disproportionate application of the death penalty, particularly on black people.
“Most murders are intra-racial… In the most recent year for which data is available, 91% of Black murder victims were killed by Blacks, while 81% of White murder victims were killed by Whites… Thus were race not playing a role we would expect to see most of the Black defendants sentenced to death to be in cases where they murdered a fellow Black personal. In fact, the statistics show precisely the opposite.”
I don’t really understand how our justice system would still be operating with racial prejudice when it comes to applying the death penalty, but apparently the statistics show that. And if that is the case, then I think I would have to agree that until some changes are made to due process to actually find out the truth about who is guilty and who is innocent and then applying sentencing with a blind eye to race or social class, then I’m not sure I can defend the death penalty either.
What Am I Supposed to Do?
One of my critiques of a lot of these kinds of books is the that they spend the entire book criticizing ‘the system’ and showing how corrupt or unjust it is and then offer nothing constructive. We just sit there with all the pieces they shattered, unsure what to do with them.
That’s not helpful.
Martens doesn’t give answers in the form of policy changes we all need to request of our state governments, though part of me wishes he had.
“There is no one-size-fits-all approach for all cultures, histories, localities, and generations— not even for all Christians… we have 3144 criminal justice systems— one for each county in the US, each with its distinct features, priorities, strengths, and weaknesses.”
But he doesn’t leave us empty-handed.
He gives us four exhortations:
- Think differently: view both the victim and the accused as your neighbor and an image-bearer of God; be careful of the labels you use and the jokes you make; want what is best for all people
- Speak differently: have better, more informed discussions about the actual issues instead of the political talking points; teach your children to love kindness, justice, and truth by the way you talk about others
- Work differently: for those who work in relation to the legal system, advocate for just laws or quit if your job forces you to act immorally
- Vote differently: criminal justice should be have high moral priority when considering who to vote for; be involved in the election of your county’s district attorney (pg 348 has a list of questions you may ask at a townhall; as a juror your vote is powerful so judge the case morally and with love for what is best for the defendant
“Each and every one of us can, starting even today, think differently about justice, speak differently in our sphere of influence, work differently if need be, and vote differently when the opportunity presents itself.”
It may not be the specific answers we wish we had, but Martens does give us more than most without piling on guilt.
Recommendation
This is a must-read book.
Especially if you have any sort of influence in the legal system from policing, to legislature, to trial participation to prison management. Go ahead and buy one for your district attorney, your judges, your senators, your representatives, your police chief.
Martens isn’t writing for a political agenda. He is writing for truth and justice and deals with facts and figures, laws and cases. It will shock you, it will anger you, and it will enlighten you.
As someone who knows both the law as it is in real life (not just in Suits or Law and Order) and the Bible, Martens is an excellent source to glean knowledge from as we look at how we can better love our neighbor through our criminal justice system.
Hopefully we are never at trial, but if we were, we would want a fair one and one that didn’t back us in a corner to plead guilty to something we didn’t do.
This is definitely a book I’ll reference and recommend when it comes to discussions of criminal justice.
Further Reading:
He attends church with Mark Dever and Jonathan Leeman and quoted one of Leeman’s books that I also found to be a really helpful book:
How the Nations Rage by Jonathan Leeman
Their church is in the heart of D.C. and their congregation is a diverse piece of the political pie. This book helps us view politics rightly in the church and how to view and engage with brothers and sisters in Christ who disagree with our political values. It was fair, balanced, practical, and helpful.
Another relevant book is Kevin DeYoung’s book:
What is the Mission of the Church by Kevin DeYoung
This engages more with the tension of pursuing social justice without compromising the priority of the gospel. What is the church’s role? It is important to note that there is a difference between the individual and the church specifically. This book made sense to me though I’m sure there are people who will disagree with it.
I’m sure there are many books that tell the stories of innocent people on death row but here are a couple to start with:
Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
I Shall Not Die by Billy Neal Moore
**I received a copy of this book via Crossway in exchange for an honest review**
Deep Freeze by Michael C. Grumley
adventurous
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
4.0
“If there was one thing Williams had learned over his seventy-plus years on Earth, it was that everyone always had their own agenda.”
This is shaping up to be a pretty good series, reminiscent of an A.G. Riddle’s sci-fi, med-tech type of thriller.
Deep Freeze hooks you from the start with a mysterious prelude where a man stops an armed robbery at a convenience store then boards a bus that gets in an accident and falls from the bridge into a freezing river where he is able to save everyone on the bus except himself.
That part is told from a very detached perspective which I’m not sure I liked that part, but it invests you in this ‘hero’ character that made me think of the guy on Person of Interest.
It’s a fast-paced thriller and even though there are a lot of characters and medical/technical jargon, it’s an engaging story that leaves you on a cliffhanger!
Basic Premise
We are not told what happens to the man until we are introduced to our other characters who are all in a lab working on a cryonics project where their goal is to resuscitate a human from their frozen state.
Yep, it’s the guy who froze in the river.
They bring him back to life, a surprising number of years after the accident.
“Life often had a way of operating according to its own set of rules, presenting surprises when one least expected them. Even in the most routine and controlled procedures.”
But it becomes evident that the people leading and backing the project have been kept a secret for a reason. The man was chosen for this experiment for a reason. And the end goal for this experiment is also a mystery.
The man draws some of the visions he has been having after his resurrection. Of places and events he would never have witnessed. Now his existence is a threat and the higher-ups want the project and everything associated with it erased. Including the man. Who is showing signs of medical complications.
He has other ideas.
Can he work with his newfound resistance group and figure it out before he re-freezes to death?
Cast of Characters
I feel like I might need this by the time I read the second book, so here are the main players in the book that I can reveal without spoiling anything:
John Reiff: the man from the river; ex-military
Rachel Souza: doctor on the project; specializes in the vascular system; tries to save Reiff from being ‘erased’
“She didn’t know what they wanted, but she knew it couldn’t be good. People don’t get murdered to keep good things a secret.”
Dr. Perry Williams: project’s Chief Medical Officer; works closely with Rachel but specializes in major organs; the first one to catch on that something else is going on with the project
Robert Masten: “decades-old prince of biotech and a hardened executive who knew the ins and outs of the industry better than anyone”; the on-site head of the project
Nora Lagner: Chief Technology Officer; Masten’s right-hand-woman
Liam Duchik: the ‘handler’
Comments
One thing I liked about this book were the really short chapters. It made it quicker to read and faster-paced. The book is just 330ish pages but there were 100 chapters.
One thing that I think would have helped, although it may have been intentionally vague in the beginning, was to set the scene better. The book seems to be a bit of a dystopian sci-fi thriller. There aren’t really any signs of this until well over halfway when we find out about The Great Collapse and The Great Struggle— certain economic, financial, and physical wars around the globe. It’s not anarchy and technology still exists, but there are other hardships the world is recovering from.
It didn’t seem to be a huge part of most of the book but I have a feeling it will come into play in the rest of the series. At least I hope so, otherwise it feels too insignificant and random to have used for the setting of the book.
The machine that brings Reiff back to life is called The Machine. Which is a smidge bit vague and non-descriptive. But I couldn’t come up with anything better as of now so I’ll let it go.
I should address the med-tech jargon stuff because I know that’s what can turn people off to these type of books. There is quite a bit of talk surrounding medical procedures and biological processes and technological advancements that are hard to follow at times. But the details are not essential to understanding and enjoying the story.
If it all makes sense to you, great. But if your eyes glaze over during those parts, you’re not going to be lost in the story!
I mentioned earlier that this book reminded me of A.G. Riddle’s books. One reason for that is the inclusion of real-life technological advancements and incorporating them into the story— like telomeres. Riddle uses more historical references than Grumley, but I do like when I can learn things while I’m reading.
Recommendation
I would definitely recommend this book! Although I don’t like waiting for books, I’m glad it ended on a cliffhanger. There was too much to wrap up so instead of rushing it, we get to continue the story and see, hopefully, more layers to what’s going on.
We did get a little resolution, but we still have some questions, especially regarding Reiff’s past and future.
I will say that looking back on it, it does seem like not a whole lot happened, but it didn’t feel like that while I was reading it. Plus it read fast so it’s not a huge commitment like some sci-fi is.
I look forward to the next one and hope we don’t have to wait too long!
If you like books like this, I would recommend A.G. Riddle as I’ve already mentioned, but also Tosca Lee’s duology beginning with The Line Between.
[Content Advisory: no sexual content; minimal swearing- mostly using Jesus’ name in vain, I don’t think there were any f-words]
**Received an ARC from Forge Books in exchange for an honest review**
This is shaping up to be a pretty good series, reminiscent of an A.G. Riddle’s sci-fi, med-tech type of thriller.
Deep Freeze hooks you from the start with a mysterious prelude where a man stops an armed robbery at a convenience store then boards a bus that gets in an accident and falls from the bridge into a freezing river where he is able to save everyone on the bus except himself.
That part is told from a very detached perspective which I’m not sure I liked that part, but it invests you in this ‘hero’ character that made me think of the guy on Person of Interest.
It’s a fast-paced thriller and even though there are a lot of characters and medical/technical jargon, it’s an engaging story that leaves you on a cliffhanger!
Basic Premise
We are not told what happens to the man until we are introduced to our other characters who are all in a lab working on a cryonics project where their goal is to resuscitate a human from their frozen state.
Yep, it’s the guy who froze in the river.
They bring him back to life, a surprising number of years after the accident.
“Life often had a way of operating according to its own set of rules, presenting surprises when one least expected them. Even in the most routine and controlled procedures.”
But it becomes evident that the people leading and backing the project have been kept a secret for a reason. The man was chosen for this experiment for a reason. And the end goal for this experiment is also a mystery.
The man draws some of the visions he has been having after his resurrection. Of places and events he would never have witnessed. Now his existence is a threat and the higher-ups want the project and everything associated with it erased. Including the man. Who is showing signs of medical complications.
He has other ideas.
Can he work with his newfound resistance group and figure it out before he re-freezes to death?
Cast of Characters
I feel like I might need this by the time I read the second book, so here are the main players in the book that I can reveal without spoiling anything:
John Reiff: the man from the river; ex-military
Rachel Souza: doctor on the project; specializes in the vascular system; tries to save Reiff from being ‘erased’
“She didn’t know what they wanted, but she knew it couldn’t be good. People don’t get murdered to keep good things a secret.”
Dr. Perry Williams: project’s Chief Medical Officer; works closely with Rachel but specializes in major organs; the first one to catch on that something else is going on with the project
Robert Masten: “decades-old prince of biotech and a hardened executive who knew the ins and outs of the industry better than anyone”; the on-site head of the project
Nora Lagner: Chief Technology Officer; Masten’s right-hand-woman
Liam Duchik: the ‘handler’
Comments
One thing I liked about this book were the really short chapters. It made it quicker to read and faster-paced. The book is just 330ish pages but there were 100 chapters.
One thing that I think would have helped, although it may have been intentionally vague in the beginning, was to set the scene better. The book seems to be a bit of a dystopian sci-fi thriller. There aren’t really any signs of this until well over halfway when we find out about The Great Collapse and The Great Struggle— certain economic, financial, and physical wars around the globe. It’s not anarchy and technology still exists, but there are other hardships the world is recovering from.
It didn’t seem to be a huge part of most of the book but I have a feeling it will come into play in the rest of the series. At least I hope so, otherwise it feels too insignificant and random to have used for the setting of the book.
The machine that brings Reiff back to life is called The Machine. Which is a smidge bit vague and non-descriptive. But I couldn’t come up with anything better as of now so I’ll let it go.
I should address the med-tech jargon stuff because I know that’s what can turn people off to these type of books. There is quite a bit of talk surrounding medical procedures and biological processes and technological advancements that are hard to follow at times. But the details are not essential to understanding and enjoying the story.
If it all makes sense to you, great. But if your eyes glaze over during those parts, you’re not going to be lost in the story!
I mentioned earlier that this book reminded me of A.G. Riddle’s books. One reason for that is the inclusion of real-life technological advancements and incorporating them into the story— like telomeres. Riddle uses more historical references than Grumley, but I do like when I can learn things while I’m reading.
Recommendation
I would definitely recommend this book! Although I don’t like waiting for books, I’m glad it ended on a cliffhanger. There was too much to wrap up so instead of rushing it, we get to continue the story and see, hopefully, more layers to what’s going on.
We did get a little resolution, but we still have some questions, especially regarding Reiff’s past and future.
I will say that looking back on it, it does seem like not a whole lot happened, but it didn’t feel like that while I was reading it. Plus it read fast so it’s not a huge commitment like some sci-fi is.
I look forward to the next one and hope we don’t have to wait too long!
If you like books like this, I would recommend A.G. Riddle as I’ve already mentioned, but also Tosca Lee’s duology beginning with The Line Between.
[Content Advisory: no sexual content; minimal swearing- mostly using Jesus’ name in vain, I don’t think there were any f-words]
**Received an ARC from Forge Books in exchange for an honest review**
The Couple in the Photo by Helen Cooper
dark
mysterious
medium-paced
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
“She feels like something dangerous. What she knows about me, about us. What she could destroy. I’ve been careless, taken my eye off what’s important, and things have gone too far.”
“My family, my kids. They can never, never know what I’ve done.”
When the first thing that happens in the book is the main character, Lucy, sees a coworker’s photo of a couple they met in the Maldives that appears to be her husband’s best friend with a woman who was not his wife, I worried that we found out too much too fast and it was going to be long and boring.
But luckily, I was wrong. There were many more knots and secrets to untangle as the story goes on.
I also appreciated that this wasn’t just a paranoid character trope. Lucy is more just curious and obsessed with finding the truth by actually looking and finding answers, not just sitting at home and speculating in her mind and wondering if she’s crazy.
That helped move the story along because Lucy kept discovering things and actually made some tough decisions to communicate with the police which I found surprising considering a lot of books I read.
The premise is this:
Adam & Lucy and Scott & Cora are two couples who are best friends. Adam, Scott, and Cora went to Leeds University together and have a history. That history comes to haunt them when Lucy finds out the woman in the photo with Scott— Juliet— was a girl who also went to school with them.
Then Juliet turns up dead in the Maldives- murdered. And Scott was supposedly just with her.
And then the coworker who showed her the photo finds herself in the hospital.
Lucy’s world comes crashing down when more and more secrets are revealed as she searches for the truth.
She might not like what she finds and whoever is hiding from her will do anything to keep those secrets hidden!
I will warn that the end of the book isn’t really a happy ending. It’s not necessarily unsatisfying but the characters are pretty dysfunctional and if you’re a ‘happy ending’ kind of book reader, you may not want to do this one.
I figured out the primary mystery at 30% (i.e. who was narrating the mystery POV sections and who the killer was) but there were other things that I wasn’t sure about throughout the book.
It’s not a high-octane thriller, but more of a suspicion-driven domestic thriller.
There was a decent amount of swearing, but most of the f-words were grouped together during times the characters found out bad news or got hurt and not in constant daily use like an adjective. Not great, but could have been worse.
Overall, a decent book that I would recommend.
Learning Corner
Cooper is a British author so of course here is my little learning corner. These are all food-related words I learned while reading this book:
- Ribena: blackcurrant-based soft drink (carbonated and non); and comes in concentrate to be mixed with water
- cheesy mash: cheesy mashed potatoes
- Quavers: UK equivalent to a Cheeto; a cheesy airy chip named after the musical note- quaver (which is an eighth note); you can buy them on Amazon
- malt loaf: a sweet bread served with butter
- poppadoms: thin round Indian bread
[Content Advisory: 48 f-words, 15 s-words; an affair occurs but no sex scenes]
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
“My family, my kids. They can never, never know what I’ve done.”
When the first thing that happens in the book is the main character, Lucy, sees a coworker’s photo of a couple they met in the Maldives that appears to be her husband’s best friend with a woman who was not his wife, I worried that we found out too much too fast and it was going to be long and boring.
But luckily, I was wrong. There were many more knots and secrets to untangle as the story goes on.
I also appreciated that this wasn’t just a paranoid character trope. Lucy is more just curious and obsessed with finding the truth by actually looking and finding answers, not just sitting at home and speculating in her mind and wondering if she’s crazy.
That helped move the story along because Lucy kept discovering things and actually made some tough decisions to communicate with the police which I found surprising considering a lot of books I read.
The premise is this:
Adam & Lucy and Scott & Cora are two couples who are best friends. Adam, Scott, and Cora went to Leeds University together and have a history. That history comes to haunt them when Lucy finds out the woman in the photo with Scott— Juliet— was a girl who also went to school with them.
Then Juliet turns up dead in the Maldives- murdered. And Scott was supposedly just with her.
And then the coworker who showed her the photo finds herself in the hospital.
Lucy’s world comes crashing down when more and more secrets are revealed as she searches for the truth.
She might not like what she finds and whoever is hiding from her will do anything to keep those secrets hidden!
I will warn that the end of the book isn’t really a happy ending. It’s not necessarily unsatisfying but the characters are pretty dysfunctional and if you’re a ‘happy ending’ kind of book reader, you may not want to do this one.
I figured out the primary mystery at 30% (i.e. who was narrating the mystery POV sections and who the killer was) but there were other things that I wasn’t sure about throughout the book.
It’s not a high-octane thriller, but more of a suspicion-driven domestic thriller.
There was a decent amount of swearing, but most of the f-words were grouped together during times the characters found out bad news or got hurt and not in constant daily use like an adjective. Not great, but could have been worse.
Overall, a decent book that I would recommend.
Learning Corner
Cooper is a British author so of course here is my little learning corner. These are all food-related words I learned while reading this book:
- Ribena: blackcurrant-based soft drink (carbonated and non); and comes in concentrate to be mixed with water
- cheesy mash: cheesy mashed potatoes
- Quavers: UK equivalent to a Cheeto; a cheesy airy chip named after the musical note- quaver (which is an eighth note); you can buy them on Amazon
- malt loaf: a sweet bread served with butter
- poppadoms: thin round Indian bread
[Content Advisory: 48 f-words, 15 s-words; an affair occurs but no sex scenes]
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing
The Lies We Believe by Chris Thurman
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
“Truth matters. It matters not just in our relationships, in what we say to others, but inside each of us.”
It took me awhile to get through this book and I wish I would have read it within a shorter time frame, but for some of it I was reading it with a group and so it was sporadic reading.
Combining psychology and biblical truths, there are a lot of good insights in this book to help us recognize that the way we think about God, ourselves, life, and others is important and it’s often distorted in ways we never realized.
Thurman has written this book to help expose some of those lies and to tell us the truths we SHOULD believe that will transform our lives.
“We lie to ourselves every day, multiple times a day, when we tell ourselves things that are inaccurate, distorted, untrue, irrational, mistaken, and most important, unbiblical. The lies we tell ourselves cost us dearly. They cost us good relationships with others, a sense of meaning and purpose, emotional health, well-lived lives, confidence that we have worth, and an intimate relationship with the God of the universe, who created us in His image.”
We’d like to think that we are rational thinkers and that we can trust our intuitions and that our ‘heart’ would never lie to us, but that’s just simply not true. The Bible says:
“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools…” (Rom 1:21-22)
“the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but have itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” (2 Tim 4:4)
“the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (2 Cor. 4:4)
We have to take captive every thought and discern whether we are believing lies or truth.
The aim of this book is to help with that.
This book would be easy to outline because it’s broken down into different sections within the chapters with lots of headings and provides ‘answers’ often in list form. He says these lists are to help us “assess whether you believe certain lies and whether you fall into unhealthy ways of living life.”
After explaining the ways that our minds are under attack and some methods of overthrowing mental strongholds, he goes through the lies that we believe about ourselves, others, life, and God, followed by chapters specifically about lies women believe and men believe.
Here are just a few of the lies addressed in the book:
- My worth is determined by how I perform
- My unhappiness is externally caused
- Others should accept me just the way I am
- People are basically good
- Life should be easy and fair
- You can have it all
- God is mean and vindictive
- I can do it by myself
- My main job in life is to make everyone happy
The next part, after tearing down the lies, is spent building up the truths. Some of these are:
- To err is human
- You can’t please everyone
- It’s not all about you
- Life is difficult
- You are a person of great worth
- The world owes you nothing
- You are going to die
Some of these kind of sound a little gloomy. Maybe you prefer to hear- You’re awesome! Everything is awesome! You deserve the best and everything you want and on and on.
But that’s why I’m not typically a fan of self-help books. Because 1) they seem to tell you to look within yourself for help, when we should be looking to God to save us from ourselves, but 2) a lot of self-helpy type books promote ‘positive thinking’ as a solution. That has always felt empty to me.
I appreciate that Thurman also agrees with this and reminds us that it’s about the truth, not just being positive:
“I’m not a fan of ‘positive thinking.’ As far as I’m concerned, those who tout positive thinking are actually part of the problem, not part of the solution. Why? Because, the most important issue about the beliefs we hold isn’t whether they are positive or negative but whether they are true. Some beliefs are positive but flat-out untrue.”
Each of the truths he promotes in this section are based in gospel truth and tells us the truth about our sin and our need for a perfect Savior. While appearing gloomy at first blush, they point us to the power of Christ and how we are called to treat others. It is the path to life.
It also acknowledges that we will never be perfect this side of heaven. Sanctification is a process that ultimately leads to glorification (perfection); but here on earth it is a daily dying to ourselves and continually becoming more like Christ.
Which is why one of my favorite ‘truth’ chapters in this list was ‘to err is human.’
“To err is human, but when your eraser wears out before your pencil does, you’re overdoing it.”
This chapter was about perfectionism. Thurman discusses the differences between pursuing excellence vs pursuing perfection.
When we pursue perfection we are committing the sin of pride in trying to be God: omniscient (knowing everything), omnipotent (all powerful and in control of everything), and omnipresent (doing everything and being everywhere at once). Those characteristics are reserved for God. We could never achieve them.
Pursuing excellence is a mindset of doing our best, being process-minded rather than product-minded, being realistic in our thinking, and knowing our worth is in Christ, not our performance.
These were good reminders that our goal is not to be perfect because we are human and we will make mistakes, but that we are in the process of sanctification, and pursuing excellence is our goal. And of course… it’s also trying to use the pencil more than the eraser…
Romans 12: 2 tells us we need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can discern what is good. The Enemy wants to distract us with lies so that we won’t pursue truth and good.
The last part of the book looks at how exemplifying Christ looks in all of this. While we don’t have access to all the specific thoughts of God, we have his Word, his commands., his life. The way Jesus lived gives us all the insights we need on how to renew our minds.
The character and attitude of Christ is marked by humility.
“Developing a deep-seated attitude of humility is the most important issue in the renewal of our mind. It’s the reason why there are so many verses in the Bible that talk about dying to self, serving others, and esteeming others more highly than yourself.”
If we were to go back through the entire book and all the lies and truths he shares and see how humility fits into resisting the lies and pursuing the truth we will see that humility is essential.
If we get nothing else from this book but an urgent exhortation to pursue humility, we will be on the right track.
“The acquisition of knowledge about an issue is a nice start, but it doesn’t set people free. To really know and deeply believe something, we have to contemplatively think about and act on it until it becomes so deeply embedded in the way we look at reality that we live life the way Christ did— lovingly, kindly, genuinely, compassionately, hospitably, courageously, selflessly, and passionately.”
Recommendation
I would definitely recommend this book. It’s a bit long and if you do it in a group a few chapters a week or so, you’ll have to intentionally stay connected to it because it’s easy to forget where you are if you go too long in between chapters.
The benefit of reading it in a group is hearing other’s thoughts and how you’re not the only one believing these lies and struggling with these truths. It may provide a good basis for accountability within a group and how to encourage one another in the struggles. It will require honesty and transparency, but in light of the gospel, there is forgiveness and Christ’s power to pursue truth and to change what feels impossible to change.
I found the writing style to be easy to follow and conversational at times. The author is honest about his own downfalls which helps it feel less like a lecture and more like encouragement.
“The most important way God works for the god of those who love Him is to help us change how we view reality so we can handle difficult circumstances in a more Christlike manner.”
It took me awhile to get through this book and I wish I would have read it within a shorter time frame, but for some of it I was reading it with a group and so it was sporadic reading.
Combining psychology and biblical truths, there are a lot of good insights in this book to help us recognize that the way we think about God, ourselves, life, and others is important and it’s often distorted in ways we never realized.
Thurman has written this book to help expose some of those lies and to tell us the truths we SHOULD believe that will transform our lives.
“We lie to ourselves every day, multiple times a day, when we tell ourselves things that are inaccurate, distorted, untrue, irrational, mistaken, and most important, unbiblical. The lies we tell ourselves cost us dearly. They cost us good relationships with others, a sense of meaning and purpose, emotional health, well-lived lives, confidence that we have worth, and an intimate relationship with the God of the universe, who created us in His image.”
We’d like to think that we are rational thinkers and that we can trust our intuitions and that our ‘heart’ would never lie to us, but that’s just simply not true. The Bible says:
“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools…” (Rom 1:21-22)
“the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but have itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” (2 Tim 4:4)
“the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (2 Cor. 4:4)
We have to take captive every thought and discern whether we are believing lies or truth.
The aim of this book is to help with that.
This book would be easy to outline because it’s broken down into different sections within the chapters with lots of headings and provides ‘answers’ often in list form. He says these lists are to help us “assess whether you believe certain lies and whether you fall into unhealthy ways of living life.”
After explaining the ways that our minds are under attack and some methods of overthrowing mental strongholds, he goes through the lies that we believe about ourselves, others, life, and God, followed by chapters specifically about lies women believe and men believe.
Here are just a few of the lies addressed in the book:
- My worth is determined by how I perform
- My unhappiness is externally caused
- Others should accept me just the way I am
- People are basically good
- Life should be easy and fair
- You can have it all
- God is mean and vindictive
- I can do it by myself
- My main job in life is to make everyone happy
The next part, after tearing down the lies, is spent building up the truths. Some of these are:
- To err is human
- You can’t please everyone
- It’s not all about you
- Life is difficult
- You are a person of great worth
- The world owes you nothing
- You are going to die
Some of these kind of sound a little gloomy. Maybe you prefer to hear- You’re awesome! Everything is awesome! You deserve the best and everything you want and on and on.
But that’s why I’m not typically a fan of self-help books. Because 1) they seem to tell you to look within yourself for help, when we should be looking to God to save us from ourselves, but 2) a lot of self-helpy type books promote ‘positive thinking’ as a solution. That has always felt empty to me.
I appreciate that Thurman also agrees with this and reminds us that it’s about the truth, not just being positive:
“I’m not a fan of ‘positive thinking.’ As far as I’m concerned, those who tout positive thinking are actually part of the problem, not part of the solution. Why? Because, the most important issue about the beliefs we hold isn’t whether they are positive or negative but whether they are true. Some beliefs are positive but flat-out untrue.”
Each of the truths he promotes in this section are based in gospel truth and tells us the truth about our sin and our need for a perfect Savior. While appearing gloomy at first blush, they point us to the power of Christ and how we are called to treat others. It is the path to life.
It also acknowledges that we will never be perfect this side of heaven. Sanctification is a process that ultimately leads to glorification (perfection); but here on earth it is a daily dying to ourselves and continually becoming more like Christ.
Which is why one of my favorite ‘truth’ chapters in this list was ‘to err is human.’
“To err is human, but when your eraser wears out before your pencil does, you’re overdoing it.”
This chapter was about perfectionism. Thurman discusses the differences between pursuing excellence vs pursuing perfection.
When we pursue perfection we are committing the sin of pride in trying to be God: omniscient (knowing everything), omnipotent (all powerful and in control of everything), and omnipresent (doing everything and being everywhere at once). Those characteristics are reserved for God. We could never achieve them.
Pursuing excellence is a mindset of doing our best, being process-minded rather than product-minded, being realistic in our thinking, and knowing our worth is in Christ, not our performance.
These were good reminders that our goal is not to be perfect because we are human and we will make mistakes, but that we are in the process of sanctification, and pursuing excellence is our goal. And of course… it’s also trying to use the pencil more than the eraser…
Romans 12: 2 tells us we need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can discern what is good. The Enemy wants to distract us with lies so that we won’t pursue truth and good.
The last part of the book looks at how exemplifying Christ looks in all of this. While we don’t have access to all the specific thoughts of God, we have his Word, his commands., his life. The way Jesus lived gives us all the insights we need on how to renew our minds.
The character and attitude of Christ is marked by humility.
“Developing a deep-seated attitude of humility is the most important issue in the renewal of our mind. It’s the reason why there are so many verses in the Bible that talk about dying to self, serving others, and esteeming others more highly than yourself.”
If we were to go back through the entire book and all the lies and truths he shares and see how humility fits into resisting the lies and pursuing the truth we will see that humility is essential.
If we get nothing else from this book but an urgent exhortation to pursue humility, we will be on the right track.
“The acquisition of knowledge about an issue is a nice start, but it doesn’t set people free. To really know and deeply believe something, we have to contemplatively think about and act on it until it becomes so deeply embedded in the way we look at reality that we live life the way Christ did— lovingly, kindly, genuinely, compassionately, hospitably, courageously, selflessly, and passionately.”
Recommendation
I would definitely recommend this book. It’s a bit long and if you do it in a group a few chapters a week or so, you’ll have to intentionally stay connected to it because it’s easy to forget where you are if you go too long in between chapters.
The benefit of reading it in a group is hearing other’s thoughts and how you’re not the only one believing these lies and struggling with these truths. It may provide a good basis for accountability within a group and how to encourage one another in the struggles. It will require honesty and transparency, but in light of the gospel, there is forgiveness and Christ’s power to pursue truth and to change what feels impossible to change.
I found the writing style to be easy to follow and conversational at times. The author is honest about his own downfalls which helps it feel less like a lecture and more like encouragement.
“The most important way God works for the god of those who love Him is to help us change how we view reality so we can handle difficult circumstances in a more Christlike manner.”
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
challenging
dark
sad
slow-paced
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
[3 stars because how do you rate a classic?]
“We shall squeeze you empty, and then we shall fill you with ourselves.”
Somehow I never read this one in high school.
It’s a hard book to read because there is torture and brainwashing and it’s just overall a depressing and hopeless book.
There are endless places to get a literary review of the book in terms of why Orwell wrote the book, the political context of when it was written, the symbolism, etc. You won’t find that here- there are others far more qualified than me to do that.
I’m more interested in looking at the similarities of what I read in 1984 and what I’m seeing in the United States today.
You don’t really read 1984 for the ‘story’ or plot or characters. You read it because you want to see the observations Orwell makes about a controlling government and what it will do to maintain that control for no other reason than just the power.
Even if you haven’t read this book you’ve more than likely heard of Big Brother. The reality TV show of the same name adapts the concept of 24-hour surveillance as depicted in this book.
Big Brother could be Hitler or Stalin or any sort of Communist or dictatorship type of government. America isn’t in a totalitarian government (as of now) and yet we still see overlap with what Winston, our main character, goes through in this book.
The afterword in the book says that 1984 explores this question:
“Can human nature be changed in such a way that man will forget his longing for freedom, for dignity, for integrity, for love—that is to say, can man forget that he is human?”
The most jarring takeaway I got from reading this book is that Orwell has depicted (whether intentional or not) what a world looks like when God is taken out of the picture. It’s a dark, helpless, and hopeless place in Oceania.
The government can do whatever it wants. It can rewrite history, it can kill at will, the proles (the “dumb masses”) could rise up and revolt but they won’t and no one could ever lead them because Big Brother, with their surveillance, would get to them first. There is torture, there is brainwashing. Objective reality and objective truth does not exist. If you are caught, they will break you. What more could there be to live for to resist their will? Compliance is the only path.
And if you read this book as an atheist I can only imagine what kind of feeling you are sitting with. But God exists. He is real, living, and working, and that makes all the difference. Once God is in the picture, there is hope. Because no man, government, system, or weapon could thwart his plans and his will to protect his people and his name.
All of a sudden there is reason to resist. There is reason to believe that history cannot be rewritten. There is objective truth. There is reality. Joy cannot be taken. Peace and comfort can be had. Our inner thoughts are meaningful. People are important and worth sacrificing for. And all along the way you know that God is in control and nothing is outside his ability to know or stop or change.
God created us with eternity in our hearts. Human nature cannot be altered so much as to extinguish the flame of the image of God, the One we were created from and for. There are ways we can lose parts of our humanity but when God is in the picture, we have souls connected to an eternal Creator and nothing can completely sever that bond or torture it out you.
[If you wonder why I can believe that, check out one of these books: Why Believe? by Neil Shenvi or Confronting Christianity by Rebecca McLaughlin or Is Easter Unbelievable by Rebecca McLaughlin or Taking God at His Word by Kevin DeYoung or Surviving Religion 101 by Michael J. Kruger or Why God Makes Sense in a World that Doesn’t by Gavin Ortlund]
Now to look at some of the features of 1984 and see what stuck out to me:
The Ministries
The Ministry of Truth concerned itself with news, entertainment, education, and the fine arts but told lies and created propaganda.
The Ministry of Love maintained law and order but tortured and brainwashed in order to force people into a universal viewpoint.
“The possibility of enforcing not only complete obedience to the will of the State, but complete uniformity of opinion on all subjects, now existed for the first time.”
The Ministry of Peace concerned itself with war which in this book meant to always be at war as a means to control.
“The two aims of the Party are to conquer the whole surface of the earth and to extinguish once and for all the possibility of independent thought.”
The Ministry of Plenty was responsible for economic affairs and made sure people were starving and in need.
“It is deliberate policy to keep even the favored groups somewhere near the brink of hardship because a general state of scarcity increases the importance of small privileges and thus magnifies the distinction between one group and another.”
The first two of these are what hit me the most. Today we are in a culture where it is now proper to say ‘my truth’ instead of ‘the truth.’ We are in a place where ‘fake news’ and ‘misinformation’ are common phrases. Just because something says it’s true, doesn’t make it so. The idea of an objective truth or an objective reality is eroding in America today. People’s critical thinking skills are eroding.
Just because something doesn’t feel like love, doesn’t mean it’s not. Everyone agreeing on everything does not make love abound. D.A. Carson explores the change in the word ‘tolerance’ in his book The Intolerance of Tolerance.
Of course, I believe my beliefs are right and I want others to believe them, but if free speech is eliminated and we are not allowed diversity in our thinking, we are in trouble. We would be that much closer to living in Oceania.
If you’re wondering how freedom of speech is deteriorating read this insightful book: The Coddling of the American Mind which I think should be more required reading than 1984.
All of this leads into:
Two Minutes of Hate
In the book Big Brother instituted a daily ritual called Two Minutes of Hate where they would put on all the screens (which were everywhere) the face of ‘the enemy.’ In this case a ‘rebel’ named Goldstein. And then for two minutes everyone would yell and growl and spew hateful things and overall just be enraged at this man.
This feels a lot like Twitter and cancel culture to me. Mob rage at its finest.
And I’m not going to try and defend Trump, but I’m pretty sure there is two minutes of hate for that man on the daily online and on almost every news station. There’s definitely reasons to talk about him, but the amount of outright, consistent, and constant Trump-hate, it really does start to feel like propaganda.
If we want to unite our country, the way to do it is not by creating a common enemy we can all hate together.
I think it is wise to again, use critical thinking, and steer clear of participating in any sort of mob mentality.
Doublethink
This is the term used in the book to describe when someone believes two contradicting beliefs— cognitive dissonance.
“To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient…”
There is a lot of this going around. I think the most prominent example in my mind is when people say killing is immoral but abortion is not only moral, but a necessary right that can’t be taken away. They genuinely believe both of these things and yet don’t see the doublethink required to hold both of these beliefs.
Which leads me to…
Controlling Language
A major marker of totalitarian governments is the controlling of language. Reinventing words, changing meanings, etc.
“You think our job is inventing new words. But not a bit of it. We’re destroying words—scores of them!”
In the book they created Newspeak in an effort to pare down vocabulary and control what people say. They eliminate synonyms and antonyms. One concern of this, among many, is the elimination of nuance which hinders the truth from being known.
One way I see this today is again, revolving around abortion and LGBTQ topics. Abortion is now termed ‘reproductive health’ or ‘reproductive rights’ which puts a positive spin on the killing of an infant in the womb.
Anyone who disagrees with their viewpoints on either of these are labeled as bigots, hateful, misogynists and more.
If you don’t think language is powerful, you may find Amanda Montell’s book Cultish insightful. By controlling the language in this way it perpetuates an ‘us vs them’ mentality which is a feature of cults. There’s actually some overlap in cults and totalitarian-esque governments or groups.
Another telling thing is what Rod Dreher shares in his book Live Not By Lies which was written after interviewing people who lived in Communist countries but now reside in the US and the ways they are seeing things happen here in America that happened in their country before things got really bad.
“What unnerves those who lived under Soviet communism is this similarity: Elites and elite institutions are abandoning old-fashioned liberalism, based in defending the rights of the individual, and replacing it with a progressive creed that regards justice in terms of groups. It encourages people to identify with groups—ethnic, sexual, and otherwise—and to think of Good and Evil as a matter of power dynamics among the groups. A utopian vision drives these progressives, one that compels them to seek to rewrite history and reinvent language to reflect their ideals of social justice. Further, these utopian progressives are constantly changing the standards of thought, speech, and behavior.”
As Dreher warns- “Language creates reality.”
You can see the grouping he talks about at work in the ideology of intersectionality.
Another relevant and insightful book that looks at Marxist thought and intersectionality, etc: Cynical Theories.
Rewriting History
Related to controlling language is controlling the past.
In 1984 one of the Party’s slogans is: “Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.”
It is a little harder for this one to be prominent today because of our access to the internet. Banning/burning books or limiting access to information for the general public would be a huge red flag. If we lose access to information we will become unable to combat lies of history. Although deciphering truth from lie online is no easy task.
I know there is a big push to ‘correct’ history because it is claimed that history is only written by the victors. I can see places where that makes sense, but I’ve also seen people rewriting history in a way that groups people and uses labels of good and bad. This is a means to control the past and thus the future. It makes it easier to paint groups as enemies, change the language surrounding that group, and then reinforcing hatred for that group with regular and consistent ‘hate.’
In Dreher’s book he says:
“According to Hannah Arendt, the foremost scholar of totalitarianism, a totalitarian society is one in which an ideology seeks to displace all prior traditions and institutions, with the goal of bringing all aspects of society under control of that ideology. A totalitarian state is one that aspires to nothing less than defining and controlling reality. Truth is whatever the rulers decide it is.”
If rewriting history involves a lot of destroying of traditions and institutions, we should view that as a red flag. We need to use our critical thinking and be wary of this. I’m sure we can find a tradition that is okay to eliminate, but the more we eliminate, the easier it is to eliminate all of them and that’s a problem.
We know that these changes are made GRADUALLY. They don’t want to jar us out of our comfort. We won’t take big leaps from this belief to that belief, but we’re more than willing to make little compromises for the sake of ‘peace’ until we’ve traveled from point A to point B without even knowing it.
Objective Truth
“In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it.”
“How do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of gravity works? Or that the past is in changeable? If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then?”
Orwell describes for us what happens when truth and morality is not objective but determined by fallible human beings. When it is decided by the people in power or even by the masses.
What happens? It changes. It changes to suit their needs. Objective truth has to exist, morality has to exist— outside of ourselves. Again, when God is in the picture, it all makes sense. There is order, there is an unchanging standard that we can trust.
“Being in a minority, even a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.”
You may find yourself ‘on the right side’ now in terms of what is culturally right and wrong or what you believe to be true. But the reality is, at some point you’re going to find yourself on the wrong side because ‘progress’ never stops. Then what? The basis for truth, reality, and morality has to be external or we have no leg to stand on.
In Cynical Theories they comment, “The progressive left has aligned itself not with Modernity but with postmodernism, which rejects objective truth as a fantasy dreamed up by naive and/or arrogantly bigoted Englightenment thinkers who underestimated the collateral consequences of Modernity’s progress.”
One aspect of absolute truth is math. In 1984 Big Brother prides itself on the ability to convince people that 2+2=5. Why? Because they said so. But we know that math is real and it exists outside our desires.
Yet, even that is currently under attack. In some places the idea that 2+2=4 is seen as a product of white supremacy. Probably because they rewrote history where only white people used math? You’ll find this viewpoint in a study of Post-Colonial Theory.
In Cyncial Theories they say, “Arguments have been made that mathematics is intrinsically sexist and racist because of its focus on objectivity and proof and because of disparate outcomes in mathematics education across racial groups.”
Honestly, I couldn’t explain this to you if I tried because it’s insane, but they assert this claim with passion. Is that not a problem?
Read 1984 if you want to see what happens when objective truth does not exist. It will drive you to lunacy if there is no way to know if there is truth or how to find truth. Postmodernism says there is no way to know. But the implications of that claim are far-reaching and quite problematic.
“It is one of the most characteristic and destructive developments of our own society that man, becoming more and more of an instrument, transforms reality more and more into something relative to his own interests and functions. Truth is proven by the consensus of millions.” (The Afterword)
Relative truth is destructive.
Turning Children Against Parents
“The children were systematically turned against their parents and taught to spy on them and report their deviations.”
It was common in Oceania for children to report their parents to the authorities where the parents would be arrested by the Thought Police and would typically vanish and be erased from existence. Not only did the Party try to sever loyalties between parents and children but between friends and between lovers. Love was a bond they couldn’t afford to exist.
Loyalties were something the Party were unable to control if they became too deep.
I see this today in some respects, but most prominently when it comes to LGBTQ topics. Children are taught to see their parents as the bad guys, as people who don’t really love them unless they agree with their feelings or support their choices. Whether physically or just emotionally, there is a separation that is forced.
Abigail Shrier highlights this in her book Irreversible Damage. Youtubers teach kids how to lie to their parents and what to say to their schools or their counselors so that others view their parents as ‘hostile’ towards the child thus making a way for kids to ‘get what they want’ because their parents are now lableled ‘unsafe.’
A public school teacher told Shrier, “their parental right ended when those children were enrolled in public school.”
Schools in California are allowing children to get hormone shots without parental consent.
Someone who transitioned as a teenager but is no longer trans shared some of her experience with Shrier: “When she complained online about her parents, queer adults often coached her on running away from her family. At the time, she believed that these adults—not her parents—had her best interest in mind, and that they were generally helping her to escape mentally and physically from a tumultuous home. But she no longer sees it that way. They were ‘weaponizing it against me to kind of draw me into their community more, and draw me away from anyone who would give me rational ways of thinking about my life.’”
Study after study shows the stability and benefits (both individually and communally) of the nuclear/natural family. But the nuclear family is a threat to a government or group that wants to acquire and maintain control. Isolation of people from support, loyalty, and unconditional love is essential to keep people loyal to their authority.
As you can see, the observations Orwell made all those years ago are still relevant today and it’s worth your time to consider them.
Recommendation
It’s a popular book and it has stood the test of time. It offers a lot of interesting and insightful observations and it gives us a glimpse into the political climate of when Orwell originally wrote it.
But it’s not necessarily a book you will enjoy reading or come away feeling invigorated. You’re not really going to like the characters or the ending and it’s hard to read about torture.
I’m not big into classics. I don’t know why.
I would say in this case there is more reason to read 1984 than there is not to. Let it inspire your critical thinking skills and let yourself ponder our current culture. See what overlap you see.
But remember,
“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
[All books mentioned are reviewed on my website and linked in this post: www.shelfreflection.com/nineteen-eighty-four ]
“We shall squeeze you empty, and then we shall fill you with ourselves.”
Somehow I never read this one in high school.
It’s a hard book to read because there is torture and brainwashing and it’s just overall a depressing and hopeless book.
There are endless places to get a literary review of the book in terms of why Orwell wrote the book, the political context of when it was written, the symbolism, etc. You won’t find that here- there are others far more qualified than me to do that.
I’m more interested in looking at the similarities of what I read in 1984 and what I’m seeing in the United States today.
You don’t really read 1984 for the ‘story’ or plot or characters. You read it because you want to see the observations Orwell makes about a controlling government and what it will do to maintain that control for no other reason than just the power.
Even if you haven’t read this book you’ve more than likely heard of Big Brother. The reality TV show of the same name adapts the concept of 24-hour surveillance as depicted in this book.
Big Brother could be Hitler or Stalin or any sort of Communist or dictatorship type of government. America isn’t in a totalitarian government (as of now) and yet we still see overlap with what Winston, our main character, goes through in this book.
The afterword in the book says that 1984 explores this question:
“Can human nature be changed in such a way that man will forget his longing for freedom, for dignity, for integrity, for love—that is to say, can man forget that he is human?”
The most jarring takeaway I got from reading this book is that Orwell has depicted (whether intentional or not) what a world looks like when God is taken out of the picture. It’s a dark, helpless, and hopeless place in Oceania.
The government can do whatever it wants. It can rewrite history, it can kill at will, the proles (the “dumb masses”) could rise up and revolt but they won’t and no one could ever lead them because Big Brother, with their surveillance, would get to them first. There is torture, there is brainwashing. Objective reality and objective truth does not exist. If you are caught, they will break you. What more could there be to live for to resist their will? Compliance is the only path.
And if you read this book as an atheist I can only imagine what kind of feeling you are sitting with. But God exists. He is real, living, and working, and that makes all the difference. Once God is in the picture, there is hope. Because no man, government, system, or weapon could thwart his plans and his will to protect his people and his name.
All of a sudden there is reason to resist. There is reason to believe that history cannot be rewritten. There is objective truth. There is reality. Joy cannot be taken. Peace and comfort can be had. Our inner thoughts are meaningful. People are important and worth sacrificing for. And all along the way you know that God is in control and nothing is outside his ability to know or stop or change.
God created us with eternity in our hearts. Human nature cannot be altered so much as to extinguish the flame of the image of God, the One we were created from and for. There are ways we can lose parts of our humanity but when God is in the picture, we have souls connected to an eternal Creator and nothing can completely sever that bond or torture it out you.
[If you wonder why I can believe that, check out one of these books: Why Believe? by Neil Shenvi or Confronting Christianity by Rebecca McLaughlin or Is Easter Unbelievable by Rebecca McLaughlin or Taking God at His Word by Kevin DeYoung or Surviving Religion 101 by Michael J. Kruger or Why God Makes Sense in a World that Doesn’t by Gavin Ortlund]
Now to look at some of the features of 1984 and see what stuck out to me:
The Ministries
The Ministry of Truth concerned itself with news, entertainment, education, and the fine arts but told lies and created propaganda.
The Ministry of Love maintained law and order but tortured and brainwashed in order to force people into a universal viewpoint.
“The possibility of enforcing not only complete obedience to the will of the State, but complete uniformity of opinion on all subjects, now existed for the first time.”
The Ministry of Peace concerned itself with war which in this book meant to always be at war as a means to control.
“The two aims of the Party are to conquer the whole surface of the earth and to extinguish once and for all the possibility of independent thought.”
The Ministry of Plenty was responsible for economic affairs and made sure people were starving and in need.
“It is deliberate policy to keep even the favored groups somewhere near the brink of hardship because a general state of scarcity increases the importance of small privileges and thus magnifies the distinction between one group and another.”
The first two of these are what hit me the most. Today we are in a culture where it is now proper to say ‘my truth’ instead of ‘the truth.’ We are in a place where ‘fake news’ and ‘misinformation’ are common phrases. Just because something says it’s true, doesn’t make it so. The idea of an objective truth or an objective reality is eroding in America today. People’s critical thinking skills are eroding.
Just because something doesn’t feel like love, doesn’t mean it’s not. Everyone agreeing on everything does not make love abound. D.A. Carson explores the change in the word ‘tolerance’ in his book The Intolerance of Tolerance.
Of course, I believe my beliefs are right and I want others to believe them, but if free speech is eliminated and we are not allowed diversity in our thinking, we are in trouble. We would be that much closer to living in Oceania.
If you’re wondering how freedom of speech is deteriorating read this insightful book: The Coddling of the American Mind which I think should be more required reading than 1984.
All of this leads into:
Two Minutes of Hate
In the book Big Brother instituted a daily ritual called Two Minutes of Hate where they would put on all the screens (which were everywhere) the face of ‘the enemy.’ In this case a ‘rebel’ named Goldstein. And then for two minutes everyone would yell and growl and spew hateful things and overall just be enraged at this man.
This feels a lot like Twitter and cancel culture to me. Mob rage at its finest.
And I’m not going to try and defend Trump, but I’m pretty sure there is two minutes of hate for that man on the daily online and on almost every news station. There’s definitely reasons to talk about him, but the amount of outright, consistent, and constant Trump-hate, it really does start to feel like propaganda.
If we want to unite our country, the way to do it is not by creating a common enemy we can all hate together.
I think it is wise to again, use critical thinking, and steer clear of participating in any sort of mob mentality.
Doublethink
This is the term used in the book to describe when someone believes two contradicting beliefs— cognitive dissonance.
“To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient…”
There is a lot of this going around. I think the most prominent example in my mind is when people say killing is immoral but abortion is not only moral, but a necessary right that can’t be taken away. They genuinely believe both of these things and yet don’t see the doublethink required to hold both of these beliefs.
Which leads me to…
Controlling Language
A major marker of totalitarian governments is the controlling of language. Reinventing words, changing meanings, etc.
“You think our job is inventing new words. But not a bit of it. We’re destroying words—scores of them!”
In the book they created Newspeak in an effort to pare down vocabulary and control what people say. They eliminate synonyms and antonyms. One concern of this, among many, is the elimination of nuance which hinders the truth from being known.
One way I see this today is again, revolving around abortion and LGBTQ topics. Abortion is now termed ‘reproductive health’ or ‘reproductive rights’ which puts a positive spin on the killing of an infant in the womb.
Anyone who disagrees with their viewpoints on either of these are labeled as bigots, hateful, misogynists and more.
If you don’t think language is powerful, you may find Amanda Montell’s book Cultish insightful. By controlling the language in this way it perpetuates an ‘us vs them’ mentality which is a feature of cults. There’s actually some overlap in cults and totalitarian-esque governments or groups.
Another telling thing is what Rod Dreher shares in his book Live Not By Lies which was written after interviewing people who lived in Communist countries but now reside in the US and the ways they are seeing things happen here in America that happened in their country before things got really bad.
“What unnerves those who lived under Soviet communism is this similarity: Elites and elite institutions are abandoning old-fashioned liberalism, based in defending the rights of the individual, and replacing it with a progressive creed that regards justice in terms of groups. It encourages people to identify with groups—ethnic, sexual, and otherwise—and to think of Good and Evil as a matter of power dynamics among the groups. A utopian vision drives these progressives, one that compels them to seek to rewrite history and reinvent language to reflect their ideals of social justice. Further, these utopian progressives are constantly changing the standards of thought, speech, and behavior.”
As Dreher warns- “Language creates reality.”
You can see the grouping he talks about at work in the ideology of intersectionality.
Another relevant and insightful book that looks at Marxist thought and intersectionality, etc: Cynical Theories.
Rewriting History
Related to controlling language is controlling the past.
In 1984 one of the Party’s slogans is: “Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.”
It is a little harder for this one to be prominent today because of our access to the internet. Banning/burning books or limiting access to information for the general public would be a huge red flag. If we lose access to information we will become unable to combat lies of history. Although deciphering truth from lie online is no easy task.
I know there is a big push to ‘correct’ history because it is claimed that history is only written by the victors. I can see places where that makes sense, but I’ve also seen people rewriting history in a way that groups people and uses labels of good and bad. This is a means to control the past and thus the future. It makes it easier to paint groups as enemies, change the language surrounding that group, and then reinforcing hatred for that group with regular and consistent ‘hate.’
In Dreher’s book he says:
“According to Hannah Arendt, the foremost scholar of totalitarianism, a totalitarian society is one in which an ideology seeks to displace all prior traditions and institutions, with the goal of bringing all aspects of society under control of that ideology. A totalitarian state is one that aspires to nothing less than defining and controlling reality. Truth is whatever the rulers decide it is.”
If rewriting history involves a lot of destroying of traditions and institutions, we should view that as a red flag. We need to use our critical thinking and be wary of this. I’m sure we can find a tradition that is okay to eliminate, but the more we eliminate, the easier it is to eliminate all of them and that’s a problem.
We know that these changes are made GRADUALLY. They don’t want to jar us out of our comfort. We won’t take big leaps from this belief to that belief, but we’re more than willing to make little compromises for the sake of ‘peace’ until we’ve traveled from point A to point B without even knowing it.
Objective Truth
“In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it.”
“How do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of gravity works? Or that the past is in changeable? If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then?”
Orwell describes for us what happens when truth and morality is not objective but determined by fallible human beings. When it is decided by the people in power or even by the masses.
What happens? It changes. It changes to suit their needs. Objective truth has to exist, morality has to exist— outside of ourselves. Again, when God is in the picture, it all makes sense. There is order, there is an unchanging standard that we can trust.
“Being in a minority, even a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.”
You may find yourself ‘on the right side’ now in terms of what is culturally right and wrong or what you believe to be true. But the reality is, at some point you’re going to find yourself on the wrong side because ‘progress’ never stops. Then what? The basis for truth, reality, and morality has to be external or we have no leg to stand on.
In Cynical Theories they comment, “The progressive left has aligned itself not with Modernity but with postmodernism, which rejects objective truth as a fantasy dreamed up by naive and/or arrogantly bigoted Englightenment thinkers who underestimated the collateral consequences of Modernity’s progress.”
One aspect of absolute truth is math. In 1984 Big Brother prides itself on the ability to convince people that 2+2=5. Why? Because they said so. But we know that math is real and it exists outside our desires.
Yet, even that is currently under attack. In some places the idea that 2+2=4 is seen as a product of white supremacy. Probably because they rewrote history where only white people used math? You’ll find this viewpoint in a study of Post-Colonial Theory.
In Cyncial Theories they say, “Arguments have been made that mathematics is intrinsically sexist and racist because of its focus on objectivity and proof and because of disparate outcomes in mathematics education across racial groups.”
Honestly, I couldn’t explain this to you if I tried because it’s insane, but they assert this claim with passion. Is that not a problem?
Read 1984 if you want to see what happens when objective truth does not exist. It will drive you to lunacy if there is no way to know if there is truth or how to find truth. Postmodernism says there is no way to know. But the implications of that claim are far-reaching and quite problematic.
“It is one of the most characteristic and destructive developments of our own society that man, becoming more and more of an instrument, transforms reality more and more into something relative to his own interests and functions. Truth is proven by the consensus of millions.” (The Afterword)
Relative truth is destructive.
Turning Children Against Parents
“The children were systematically turned against their parents and taught to spy on them and report their deviations.”
It was common in Oceania for children to report their parents to the authorities where the parents would be arrested by the Thought Police and would typically vanish and be erased from existence. Not only did the Party try to sever loyalties between parents and children but between friends and between lovers. Love was a bond they couldn’t afford to exist.
Loyalties were something the Party were unable to control if they became too deep.
I see this today in some respects, but most prominently when it comes to LGBTQ topics. Children are taught to see their parents as the bad guys, as people who don’t really love them unless they agree with their feelings or support their choices. Whether physically or just emotionally, there is a separation that is forced.
Abigail Shrier highlights this in her book Irreversible Damage. Youtubers teach kids how to lie to their parents and what to say to their schools or their counselors so that others view their parents as ‘hostile’ towards the child thus making a way for kids to ‘get what they want’ because their parents are now lableled ‘unsafe.’
A public school teacher told Shrier, “their parental right ended when those children were enrolled in public school.”
Schools in California are allowing children to get hormone shots without parental consent.
Someone who transitioned as a teenager but is no longer trans shared some of her experience with Shrier: “When she complained online about her parents, queer adults often coached her on running away from her family. At the time, she believed that these adults—not her parents—had her best interest in mind, and that they were generally helping her to escape mentally and physically from a tumultuous home. But she no longer sees it that way. They were ‘weaponizing it against me to kind of draw me into their community more, and draw me away from anyone who would give me rational ways of thinking about my life.’”
Study after study shows the stability and benefits (both individually and communally) of the nuclear/natural family. But the nuclear family is a threat to a government or group that wants to acquire and maintain control. Isolation of people from support, loyalty, and unconditional love is essential to keep people loyal to their authority.
As you can see, the observations Orwell made all those years ago are still relevant today and it’s worth your time to consider them.
Recommendation
It’s a popular book and it has stood the test of time. It offers a lot of interesting and insightful observations and it gives us a glimpse into the political climate of when Orwell originally wrote it.
But it’s not necessarily a book you will enjoy reading or come away feeling invigorated. You’re not really going to like the characters or the ending and it’s hard to read about torture.
I’m not big into classics. I don’t know why.
I would say in this case there is more reason to read 1984 than there is not to. Let it inspire your critical thinking skills and let yourself ponder our current culture. See what overlap you see.
But remember,
“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
[All books mentioned are reviewed on my website and linked in this post: www.shelfreflection.com/nineteen-eighty-four ]
Content Warnings
Graphic: Torture
Moderate: Sexual content
Woke Up Like This by Amy Lea
funny
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Woke Up Like This is everything you would want in a rom-com!
It is 13 Going on 30 meets To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. If you don’t like either of those, you probably wouldn’t like this, but I thought it was cute, light-hearted, and humorous.
Would I want to read 50 books in a row like this? No. But a good rom-com in between intense thrillers is a nice reprieve. Bonus that this didn’t have any sex scenes and minimal swearing.
Our main character is Char (Charlotte) similar to Lara Jean in that she is responsible and goal-oriented, has a flighty best friend, is raised by a single parent, and falls in love with a popular boy (J.T. Renner).
She is different in that she is an only child and her parents are divorced and this is an enemies-to-lovers trope not a fake-dating trope.
“Renner raises his brow, pleased that he’s stolen my thunder. It’s one of his favorite pastimes, after worshipping his own reflection and leaving people high and dry on special occasions.”
(Also Char is half Chinese/ half white, not part Korean like Lara Jean)
This book has a unique twist and one that made this a bit different than ‘every other love story’ because it has time travel!
Char and J.T. (enemies) are decorating for senior prom when Char falls off a ladder onto J.T. and they BOTH wake up in a house together in their 30-year-old bodies, presumably engaged to be married in a few days.
Enemies to spouses?!
While they are trying to figure out how to get back they make discoveries about their relationships and each other that changes their perspective on things.
But when Char gets back (it’s not really a spoiler because rom-coms aren’t trying to be tricky, we all know they don’t stay stuck) she’s not sure what just happened- was it real? does J.T. even remember? And they, again, must navigate their relationships with their newfound knowledge of both the past and the future.
This is marketed as a YA novel and definitely reads like it’s for younger audiences because it’s a teenage love-story, however, if you’re a parent wondering if this would be a good book for your own daughter (I don’t think sons would like this…) then just be aware that it is written from the perspective that everyone in high school is or will have sex at some point in the near future.
Even Char’s mother keeps encouraging her to go party and ‘have fun.’
There are a couple make out scenes but at least there are no sex scenes. Oh and J.T. is naked when they wake up in the future but it’s more of an ‘Ahh!’ scene not an ‘Oooo’ scene.
To bring this up may seen inconsequential for some, but as a parent myself, I probably wouldn’t encourage my daughter to read this one so I just wanted to make sure other parents have this information if they’re seeking it.
Even though 13 going on 30 has been done before, and there’s About Time and When We First Met (rom-com-time-travel-movies), I am up for another one! I think this would make a great movie! I haven’t decided who should be cast for the roles yet, but I think it has its own unique take and opportunities for good comedy.
To All the Boys series has it’s own special cuteness and I appreciated the family aspect of that series, but I do like the reflective nature Char and J.T. have and that there is some character development there but without a lot of pressure on the future.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next thirteen years. I don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, right now, all I want is to be with you. And that’s all I’ve wanted since I first saw you. So please stop planning ahead for five seconds and just be with me in this moment.”
Recommendation
Even though I don’t necessarily recommend this to teenage readers, as a full-fledged adult myself (ha!) I would definitely ‘overall’ recommend this book!
I’m not always a fan of YA romance, and I was surprised that I liked Han’s series, but this was a good, cute, rom-com that reads fast and is a nice break from some of the more intense reads I have.
Typically teen romance is hit or miss for me but this one was definitely a hit!
This book comes out of Mindy Kaling’s Studio and I would love if she got it optioned for film! But even if it’s not, I think readers will be able to picture this story as it unfolds on the pages.
[Content Advisory: 2 f-words, a handful of s-words; no sex scenes but there’s an overall acceptance of sex in high school and comments about losing one’s virginity; Char’s friend Nori is gay but her story is not a prominent feature of the book]
**Received a copy of this book via MB Communications in exchange for an honest review**
It is 13 Going on 30 meets To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. If you don’t like either of those, you probably wouldn’t like this, but I thought it was cute, light-hearted, and humorous.
Would I want to read 50 books in a row like this? No. But a good rom-com in between intense thrillers is a nice reprieve. Bonus that this didn’t have any sex scenes and minimal swearing.
Our main character is Char (Charlotte) similar to Lara Jean in that she is responsible and goal-oriented, has a flighty best friend, is raised by a single parent, and falls in love with a popular boy (J.T. Renner).
She is different in that she is an only child and her parents are divorced and this is an enemies-to-lovers trope not a fake-dating trope.
“Renner raises his brow, pleased that he’s stolen my thunder. It’s one of his favorite pastimes, after worshipping his own reflection and leaving people high and dry on special occasions.”
(Also Char is half Chinese/ half white, not part Korean like Lara Jean)
This book has a unique twist and one that made this a bit different than ‘every other love story’ because it has time travel!
Char and J.T. (enemies) are decorating for senior prom when Char falls off a ladder onto J.T. and they BOTH wake up in a house together in their 30-year-old bodies, presumably engaged to be married in a few days.
Enemies to spouses?!
While they are trying to figure out how to get back they make discoveries about their relationships and each other that changes their perspective on things.
But when Char gets back (it’s not really a spoiler because rom-coms aren’t trying to be tricky, we all know they don’t stay stuck) she’s not sure what just happened- was it real? does J.T. even remember? And they, again, must navigate their relationships with their newfound knowledge of both the past and the future.
This is marketed as a YA novel and definitely reads like it’s for younger audiences because it’s a teenage love-story, however, if you’re a parent wondering if this would be a good book for your own daughter (I don’t think sons would like this…) then just be aware that it is written from the perspective that everyone in high school is or will have sex at some point in the near future.
Even Char’s mother keeps encouraging her to go party and ‘have fun.’
There are a couple make out scenes but at least there are no sex scenes. Oh and J.T. is naked when they wake up in the future but it’s more of an ‘Ahh!’ scene not an ‘Oooo’ scene.
To bring this up may seen inconsequential for some, but as a parent myself, I probably wouldn’t encourage my daughter to read this one so I just wanted to make sure other parents have this information if they’re seeking it.
Even though 13 going on 30 has been done before, and there’s About Time and When We First Met (rom-com-time-travel-movies), I am up for another one! I think this would make a great movie! I haven’t decided who should be cast for the roles yet, but I think it has its own unique take and opportunities for good comedy.
To All the Boys series has it’s own special cuteness and I appreciated the family aspect of that series, but I do like the reflective nature Char and J.T. have and that there is some character development there but without a lot of pressure on the future.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next thirteen years. I don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, right now, all I want is to be with you. And that’s all I’ve wanted since I first saw you. So please stop planning ahead for five seconds and just be with me in this moment.”
Recommendation
Even though I don’t necessarily recommend this to teenage readers, as a full-fledged adult myself (ha!) I would definitely ‘overall’ recommend this book!
I’m not always a fan of YA romance, and I was surprised that I liked Han’s series, but this was a good, cute, rom-com that reads fast and is a nice break from some of the more intense reads I have.
Typically teen romance is hit or miss for me but this one was definitely a hit!
This book comes out of Mindy Kaling’s Studio and I would love if she got it optioned for film! But even if it’s not, I think readers will be able to picture this story as it unfolds on the pages.
[Content Advisory: 2 f-words, a handful of s-words; no sex scenes but there’s an overall acceptance of sex in high school and comments about losing one’s virginity; Char’s friend Nori is gay but her story is not a prominent feature of the book]
**Received a copy of this book via MB Communications in exchange for an honest review**
Content Warnings
Minor: Cursing and Sexual content