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smart_as_paint's reviews
172 reviews
The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
3.0
Doug Hoo not considering himself a distance runner because he only runs the mile is the track athlete representation we need more of.
Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune
I am normally loathed to write a review for a book that I have not finished. Perhaps Under the Whispering Door has a third-act twist that frames the needless plodding into something interesting—but I will never find out. 'Slow burn' is an understatement. Reading Under the Whispering Door made me uncomfortably aware of my own mortality. Uncomfortably aware that I am spending my one shot at consciousness plodding through the tectonic redemption of a capitalist asshole.
Charles Dickens was right: capitalists don't need postmortem queer love stories or gentle lessons in empathy. Death is too late to make a change. They need to experience the shame and violence they inflicted upon the world and seek to make a change. Without penance, there is no restoration— there is no justice.
If you insist on reading about the phantasmal absolution from the corruption of wealth, remember, A Christma Carol is in the public domain. Full texts and full audiobooks are just a Google away. It was written 178 years before yet is more prescient than Under the Whispering Door will ever be.
Charles Dickens was right: capitalists don't need postmortem queer love stories or gentle lessons in empathy. Death is too late to make a change. They need to experience the shame and violence they inflicted upon the world and seek to make a change. Without penance, there is no restoration— there is no justice.
If you insist on reading about the phantasmal absolution from the corruption of wealth, remember, A Christma Carol is in the public domain. Full texts and full audiobooks are just a Google away. It was written 178 years before yet is more prescient than Under the Whispering Door will ever be.
The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket
3.0
Of all the eclectic cavalcade of dastardly villains and ineffectual heroes that fill the pages of this book, none gets my blood boiling quite like the school principal who repeats everything you say back to in a mocking tone of voice. There is something so so relatable to that style of mockery and it makes me want to scream.
AnD iT mAkEs Me WaNt To ScReAm
Thank you Mr. Snicket for proving once and for all that imitation is not the sincerest form of flatery.
AnD iT mAkEs Me WaNt To ScReAm
Thank you Mr. Snicket for proving once and for all that imitation is not the sincerest form of flatery.
Dune by Frank Herbert
4.0
I'm glad I finally found an author who likes both
sand and overthinking simple conversations
as much as I do
sand and overthinking simple conversations
as much as I do
- From "Marginalia of Dune"
By The Schnook Russell
Love & Other Disasters by Anita Kelly
4.0
You know this book is legit because it engages in the time honored non-binary tradition of calling people by their last name if you're down bad.
I don't make the rules. I just know them. Representation matters.
I don't make the rules. I just know them. Representation matters.
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
5.0
The only stand alone Goodreads entry for A Christmas Carol is in partnership with Focus on the Family?
What a terrible partnership. Focus on the Family is bigoted organization whose values should be used in the encyclopedia entry for The Wrong Side of History.
And A Christmas Carol is more based than the largest Christmas turkey. Excessive wealth isn't a monetary status, it's an infection. It's incompatible with goodness and needs to by expelled for the good of all.
What a terrible partnership. Focus on the Family is bigoted organization whose values should be used in the encyclopedia entry for The Wrong Side of History.
And A Christmas Carol is more based than the largest Christmas turkey. Excessive wealth isn't a monetary status, it's an infection. It's incompatible with goodness and needs to by expelled for the good of all.
The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
4.0
The most difficult part of being alive is not knowing what others think.
URG
Fine
I guess I'll give this book four stars. BUT I'll have you know, I do so against my better judgment. It's four-stars fully aware that this book is the platonic ideal of the phrase beautifully problematic.
Let me explain.
The Virgin Suicides is a book about a small group of boys who investigate the lives of a five neighborhood sisters and their overbearing parents. Through windows, interviews, and illicitly obtained medical records, these neighborhood rapscallions do a passable impression of a Netflix true-crime documentary. And much like a Netflix documentary, it's toxicity all the way down.
The parasocial relationships that form out of intense scrutiny are toxic. Pedestals are impossible places to stay. They place unreasonable expectations of perfection onto the shoulders of an imperfect human. Look at celebrity culture— even in the most cushy circumstances, it's a crushing way to live.
And the five Lisbon sisters do not have it easy. They are twice burdened: by a totalitarian family structure and a manic desire to escape it. No one knows what the Lisbons want to do— who they want to become. And no one feels like asking. They just keep assuming that it's all a charmed life until the pot boils over.
Jeffrey Eugenides is a smart cookie. He understands that the you, the reader, contribute to the pedastalization of the Lisbon sisters. After all, you, the reader, look on these Lisbon girls as an outsider. You, the reader, chose to pick up and read a book called The Virgin Suicides. With a title like that, we all know what you wanted to see. There is no incognito mode for your own subconscious. Maybe you, the reader, should take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are part of the problem.
But you know who else fetishizes these teenage girls?
Jeffrey Eugenides, the author. He's the one who decided to craft a story in which young women are treated like trophies to be won. Their deaths may be a tragic consequence but it only adds to their allure. If we, the readers, are complicit in this mess, then Eugenides is responsible.
The Virgin Suicides is a book that thinks it's more clever than it actually is. We have this in common. Four Stars!
URG
Fine
I guess I'll give this book four stars. BUT I'll have you know, I do so against my better judgment. It's four-stars fully aware that this book is the platonic ideal of the phrase beautifully problematic.
Let me explain.
The Virgin Suicides is a book about a small group of boys who investigate the lives of a five neighborhood sisters and their overbearing parents. Through windows, interviews, and illicitly obtained medical records, these neighborhood rapscallions do a passable impression of a Netflix true-crime documentary. And much like a Netflix documentary, it's toxicity all the way down.
The parasocial relationships that form out of intense scrutiny are toxic. Pedestals are impossible places to stay. They place unreasonable expectations of perfection onto the shoulders of an imperfect human. Look at celebrity culture— even in the most cushy circumstances, it's a crushing way to live.
And the five Lisbon sisters do not have it easy. They are twice burdened: by a totalitarian family structure and a manic desire to escape it. No one knows what the Lisbons want to do— who they want to become. And no one feels like asking. They just keep assuming that it's all a charmed life until the pot boils over.
Jeffrey Eugenides is a smart cookie. He understands that the you, the reader, contribute to the pedastalization of the Lisbon sisters. After all, you, the reader, look on these Lisbon girls as an outsider. You, the reader, chose to pick up and read a book called The Virgin Suicides. With a title like that, we all know what you wanted to see. There is no incognito mode for your own subconscious. Maybe you, the reader, should take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are part of the problem.
But you know who else fetishizes these teenage girls?
Jeffrey Eugenides, the author. He's the one who decided to craft a story in which young women are treated like trophies to be won. Their deaths may be a tragic consequence but it only adds to their allure. If we, the readers, are complicit in this mess, then Eugenides is responsible.
The Virgin Suicides is a book that thinks it's more clever than it actually is. We have this in common. Four Stars!
Nightmare Alley by William Lindsay Gresham
3.0
I need a break from unreliable narrators. I'm done with the Huck Finns, the Holden Caulfields, and I'm especially done with the Stanton Carlisles. It's been a good run. We've really had some good times together. I remember when you taught me about the subjectivity inherent in narrative and I shared with all my middle school friends a reductive and over-sexualized interpretation of Lord of the Flies. Ahh, those were the days
But as I worked my way through Nightmare Alley, I started to have concerns. As Stan's mental state eroded, I found myself not caring if his subjective experience was *the truth*. The biting prose and clever characters disapated, replaced by a haze of uncertain reality. I was overcome with an unshakable feeling that I was sitting on a couch and reading a book, a reality that is both true and horrific.
Nightmare Alley has its moments. It's always fun to learn a new definition of the word geek and the savage elegance of a professional con man is a joy to behold. But if you're looking for a way to experience this story, try the 2021 movie adaptation. It's got some great charisma and it doesn't overstay its welcome.
But as I worked my way through Nightmare Alley, I started to have concerns. As Stan's mental state eroded, I found myself not caring if his subjective experience was *the truth*. The biting prose and clever characters disapated, replaced by a haze of uncertain reality. I was overcome with an unshakable feeling that I was sitting on a couch and reading a book, a reality that is both true and horrific.
Nightmare Alley has its moments. It's always fun to learn a new definition of the word geek and the savage elegance of a professional con man is a joy to behold. But if you're looking for a way to experience this story, try the 2021 movie adaptation. It's got some great charisma and it doesn't overstay its welcome.
The End of the Day by Claire North
4.0
Edit: I keep thinking about this book six months later
Edit 2: it's a year later and I no longer think about this book
Edit 2: it's a year later and I no longer think about this book