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tubareads's reviews
128 reviews
Unmarriageable by Soniah Kamal
5.0
I don't know where to start with this review. Should I start by talking about my love for Mr Binat or the way Alys handled different situations throughout the story or the love/hate relationship Darsee and Alys had?
So incredibly well written and relatable! Soniah Kamal has put into words the struggles of many pakistani/south asian women even in today's day and age and the constant pestering from desi families. I am so moved by how she makes me feel like I belong.
My favourite line is It’s hard to let go of geography. Although – and I’ve told Alys this several times – I believe people like her and me have an advantage having grown up for a time period without any set roots, and so we are quite comfortable letting go of places. We’re the sort of people who believe home is where you make it, and borders are ridiculous, and airports are the most harmonious places on earth.
How beautifully this statement has made it possible for many young pakistanis to feel like they belong even if they don't entirely fit into the fabric of what our society calls a 'pakistani'.
I love the part where Mr Binat finally confesses about the conversation he had with his brother and what he said about each one of his daughters was so wholesome!
This book has helped me shape my perspective about myself and I would recommend everyone to read it!
So incredibly well written and relatable! Soniah Kamal has put into words the struggles of many pakistani/south asian women even in today's day and age and the constant pestering from desi families. I am so moved by how she makes me feel like I belong.
My favourite line is It’s hard to let go of geography. Although – and I’ve told Alys this several times – I believe people like her and me have an advantage having grown up for a time period without any set roots, and so we are quite comfortable letting go of places. We’re the sort of people who believe home is where you make it, and borders are ridiculous, and airports are the most harmonious places on earth.
How beautifully this statement has made it possible for many young pakistanis to feel like they belong even if they don't entirely fit into the fabric of what our society calls a 'pakistani'.
I love the part where Mr Binat finally confesses about the conversation he had with his brother and what he said about each one of his daughters was so wholesome!
This book has helped me shape my perspective about myself and I would recommend everyone to read it!
A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum
4.0
Etaf Rum's book A Woman Is No Man hits home. It hits home in so many ways that despite finding it very hard to read through some parts of the book, I couldn't put it down and finished it in 2 days.
The story beautifully, in a very raw, open manner narrates the stories of four women, Isra, Deya, Fareeda and Sarah. It is incredible how the author has covered so many different aspects of woman's oppression within this book. So many issues are highlighted, some which might have even answered some of my own personal burning questions about motherly love. This book is a prime example of how women everywhere are oppressed and how prevalent this STILL is in the Muslim world.
You see the world through the perspective of 4 women and how they defend the choices they have made throughout their lives, you see why some women act as enablers in cases of domestic abuse, you see how women are raised with demeaning, oppressive ideologies about what their place is in this world. Truthfully speaking, I was not expecting the turn it took halfway through. Isra's death and the reason behind it really broke my heart. I think deep down I know that this isn't some exception, I know that this happens more often than we would like to accept but I was hoping for the book to have a happier ending. Call me naive, if you will.
Etaf has also shed light on the issue of depression and how little it means to families within the Arab world. This is also the case with a lot of other Muslim countries where if you are extremely depressed, you might be possessed by a jinn. I find it absolutely ridiculous that in this day and age, we choose to turn a blind eye when it comes to mental health. You can see this theme throughout the book too, every girl or woman who is going through mental health issues is said to be possessed.
The most difficult parts of the book are ones about motherly love, the letters that Isra writes to her mother and how Khaled was ready to forgive his son but not his daughter for what they had done. Deya's memories of Isra broke my heart but it discusses a very important, generational issue. This bitterness that we feel for our mothers, or how little our mothers knew their mothers is important to look at. This stems from how society portrays women and they are told over and over again about what their place is in society. Isra's bitterness towards her daughters was not her own, it was a result of the constant pressure she was put under for not birthing a son! A pattern I have seen time and time again in my society.
Now the reason for 4 stars instead of 5 - The book slowed down a little when Sarah told Deya she had a choice. I think Deya's helplessness was valid here. Their conversation was almost pissing off because Sarah kept re-iterating that Deya had a choice without even telling her the whole truth. You can see that Deya has been lied to over and over again and this was infuriating because you have based a girl's life based on lies and the fact that Fareeda still wanted to marry her off, the fact that every woman, despite seeing the atrocities of other women didn't really bat an eye, didn't raise their voices. Nadine's ignorance was baffling, Fareeda's ignorance when Adam hit his wife was baffling, Sarah's ignorance throughout the book was baffling. To think that no one raises their voices, except Isra (the same girl who never flinched when she was beaten every night) when Sarah was beaten by Fareeda.
To think that no one stopped Adam is something I can't come to terms with. If you are an enabler, you are just as bad, you have just as much a fault as the person abusing the victim.
The story beautifully, in a very raw, open manner narrates the stories of four women, Isra, Deya, Fareeda and Sarah. It is incredible how the author has covered so many different aspects of woman's oppression within this book. So many issues are highlighted, some which might have even answered some of my own personal burning questions about motherly love. This book is a prime example of how women everywhere are oppressed and how prevalent this STILL is in the Muslim world.
You see the world through the perspective of 4 women and how they defend the choices they have made throughout their lives, you see why some women act as enablers in cases of domestic abuse, you see how women are raised with demeaning, oppressive ideologies about what their place is in this world. Truthfully speaking, I was not expecting the turn it took halfway through. Isra's death and the reason behind it really broke my heart. I think deep down I know that this isn't some exception, I know that this happens more often than we would like to accept but I was hoping for the book to have a happier ending. Call me naive, if you will.
Etaf has also shed light on the issue of depression and how little it means to families within the Arab world. This is also the case with a lot of other Muslim countries where if you are extremely depressed, you might be possessed by a jinn. I find it absolutely ridiculous that in this day and age, we choose to turn a blind eye when it comes to mental health. You can see this theme throughout the book too, every girl or woman who is going through mental health issues is said to be possessed.
The most difficult parts of the book are ones about motherly love, the letters that Isra writes to her mother and how Khaled was ready to forgive his son but not his daughter for what they had done. Deya's memories of Isra broke my heart but it discusses a very important, generational issue. This bitterness that we feel for our mothers, or how little our mothers knew their mothers is important to look at. This stems from how society portrays women and they are told over and over again about what their place is in society. Isra's bitterness towards her daughters was not her own, it was a result of the constant pressure she was put under for not birthing a son! A pattern I have seen time and time again in my society.
Now the reason for 4 stars instead of 5 - The book slowed down a little when Sarah told Deya she had a choice. I think Deya's helplessness was valid here. Their conversation was almost pissing off because Sarah kept re-iterating that Deya had a choice without even telling her the whole truth. You can see that Deya has been lied to over and over again and this was infuriating because you have based a girl's life based on lies and the fact that Fareeda still wanted to marry her off, the fact that every woman, despite seeing the atrocities of other women didn't really bat an eye, didn't raise their voices. Nadine's ignorance was baffling, Fareeda's ignorance when Adam hit his wife was baffling, Sarah's ignorance throughout the book was baffling. To think that no one raises their voices, except Isra (the same girl who never flinched when she was beaten every night) when Sarah was beaten by Fareeda.
To think that no one stopped Adam is something I can't come to terms with. If you are an enabler, you are just as bad, you have just as much a fault as the person abusing the victim.
The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary
5.0
This book was like a warm hug just when I needed a warm hug!
I only have good things to say about this story. Tiffy, this goofy, colorful, loud girl who can't for the life of her be mean to people including her abusive, manipulative ex-boyfriend and Leon, this soft, sweet boy, the complete opposite of Tiffy in every way possible and their heartwarming love story. I am so obsessed with their personalities and how they have been described in this book. Without ever having seen Tiffy, I just know what she would look like, the kind of clothes she would wear on an ordinary day out.
I really like the way the author has described Justin, the complicated thought process Tiffy has because of Justin and how as the story progresses, you see Tiffy realise things about her relationship with Justin. It was an eye-opener for me too, not just Tiffy. The idea of an emotionally abusive relationship has been written down very carefully and calmly by the author which I think is important and I am glad it is in there.
I found myself smiling like a crazy person multiple times while I was reading this book and if thats something you are looking forward to do, please do yourself a favor and READ THIS BOOK!
I only have good things to say about this story. Tiffy, this goofy, colorful, loud girl who can't for the life of her be mean to people including her abusive, manipulative ex-boyfriend and Leon, this soft, sweet boy, the complete opposite of Tiffy in every way possible and their heartwarming love story. I am so obsessed with their personalities and how they have been described in this book. Without ever having seen Tiffy, I just know what she would look like, the kind of clothes she would wear on an ordinary day out.
I really like the way the author has described Justin, the complicated thought process Tiffy has because of Justin and how as the story progresses, you see Tiffy realise things about her relationship with Justin. It was an eye-opener for me too, not just Tiffy. The idea of an emotionally abusive relationship has been written down very carefully and calmly by the author which I think is important and I am glad it is in there.
I found myself smiling like a crazy person multiple times while I was reading this book and if thats something you are looking forward to do, please do yourself a favor and READ THIS BOOK!
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
5.0
I wish I could put into words the way this book makes me feel. I could try and here goes that;
this book takes my heart and goes into the deepest, darkest parts where feelings live and brings them out in the most gentle way it knows. there is so much i love about this book.
Oskar, my sweet little Oskar. how his mind wanders, how he has to invent things, how his mind never shuts up (something i can resonate with), how he doesn’t understand things like adults do and there is such innocence and beauty in that. I re-read this book in 2020 and i had forgotten so much that I am glad to have remembered again. Oskar gets heavy boots when things make him sad or worried or anxious, the heavy boots metaphor that i will probably use all my life too.
I think the innocence of how Oskar goes on a journey to connect with his Dad through this book was something that made it so special. In his little, naive brain, he really thought everything he did was the right thing to do and that’s something I wish we held on to when we grow up, to believe in things we do and to be able to say “yes this is the right thing to do”.
the voice mails break my heart. the part where Oskar questions why his dad didn’t say “I love you” on the phone breaks my heart. The need Oskar has to find out how his dad died is something I can not even describe, I get it, i get it so much!
wow. all those letters, how in the end they bury the letters in Thomas’s grave was such a perfect way to say goodbye. how the author has connected the ruins of past wars with the ruins of more recent wars (9/11) and how interconnected our lives are because of the trauma we go through, how the loss that comes with war never really leaves us alone.
there are so many details that I cant possibly put into this review because 1. i don’t remember them all 2. i won’t be able to do it justice
so yes, a 5/5 is what this book deserves!!
this book takes my heart and goes into the deepest, darkest parts where feelings live and brings them out in the most gentle way it knows. there is so much i love about this book.
Oskar, my sweet little Oskar. how his mind wanders, how he has to invent things, how his mind never shuts up (something i can resonate with), how he doesn’t understand things like adults do and there is such innocence and beauty in that. I re-read this book in 2020 and i had forgotten so much that I am glad to have remembered again. Oskar gets heavy boots when things make him sad or worried or anxious, the heavy boots metaphor that i will probably use all my life too.
I think the innocence of how Oskar goes on a journey to connect with his Dad through this book was something that made it so special. In his little, naive brain, he really thought everything he did was the right thing to do and that’s something I wish we held on to when we grow up, to believe in things we do and to be able to say “yes this is the right thing to do”.
the voice mails break my heart. the part where Oskar questions why his dad didn’t say “I love you” on the phone breaks my heart. The need Oskar has to find out how his dad died is something I can not even describe, I get it, i get it so much!
wow. all those letters, how in the end they bury the letters in Thomas’s grave was such a perfect way to say goodbye. how the author has connected the ruins of past wars with the ruins of more recent wars (9/11) and how interconnected our lives are because of the trauma we go through, how the loss that comes with war never really leaves us alone.
there are so many details that I cant possibly put into this review because 1. i don’t remember them all 2. i won’t be able to do it justice
so yes, a 5/5 is what this book deserves!!
Notes to Self by Emilie Pine
5.0
Initially, I wasn't really into the book and this was probably because the first two essays did not really resonate with me compared to the other 4 essays in the book. However, once I kept reading through it, it really starts to hit home in so many ways.
Emilie Pine does justice to so many issues that women face on a daily basis such as periods being taboo, miscarriages, self-love and how extremely difficult it is to have such a dialogue. The real cost of abortion being illegal is something that might not even be considered until it happens to someone close to us or us and then you truly realize how important it is for women to have control, to have a say in what happens to their bodies.
The author sheds light on so many issues that women face, at home, in workplaces, and in public. This book is truly an eye-opener, making you think of these pressing issues women face every day in a new light, in a more personal way.
Emilie Pine does justice to so many issues that women face on a daily basis such as periods being taboo, miscarriages, self-love and how extremely difficult it is to have such a dialogue. The real cost of abortion being illegal is something that might not even be considered until it happens to someone close to us or us and then you truly realize how important it is for women to have control, to have a say in what happens to their bodies.
The author sheds light on so many issues that women face, at home, in workplaces, and in public. This book is truly an eye-opener, making you think of these pressing issues women face every day in a new light, in a more personal way.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
4.0
I am a big advocate for mental health and I really appreciate it when there are good books written on the topic because we need to talk and normalise this dialogue as much as possible. I was waiting for this book desperately and the minute it became available in my region, I bought it!
Lori Gottlieb has talked about many lives in this book but most importantly, she talks about her own journey as a therapist and what it means to seek therapy as a therapist. After a shocking breakup, Lori decides to seek therapy (only a couple sessions, she said) to overcome this hurdle in her life and get back to her normal life but she soon realises that there is more to address when she starts seeing her therapist Wendell. Unaware of her inner demons, she gradually discovers the underlying reason for her anxieties and contrast between being the one sitting in the therapist's chair and the one in the client's chair.
The book took a while before it got interesting for me but I think this is done on purpose. It was the kind of book I needed to read gradually, with breaks in between to fully absorb every story, every detail of the book. Throughout the book, Lori talks about her own patients and their struggles - some life-threatening and others, not so much but every story is so deeply personal and raw. This book has laid out every human emotion we go through in the most honest way possible and I am really glad to have read a book that is deeply honest and authentic. You see the author come to terms with her own worries, fears and anxieties and in a way it makes you realise how important it is to have a dialogue, to be able to talk to someone, whoever it may be. We all need someone we can talk to and there is no shame in that and that is what this book is all about!
you can't get through your pain by diminishing it. You can get through your pain by accepting it and figuring out what to do with it - a message that is so simple yet so difficult to grasp when you are going through difficult moments of your life.
Lori Gottlieb has talked about many lives in this book but most importantly, she talks about her own journey as a therapist and what it means to seek therapy as a therapist. After a shocking breakup, Lori decides to seek therapy (only a couple sessions, she said) to overcome this hurdle in her life and get back to her normal life but she soon realises that there is more to address when she starts seeing her therapist Wendell. Unaware of her inner demons, she gradually discovers the underlying reason for her anxieties and contrast between being the one sitting in the therapist's chair and the one in the client's chair.
The book took a while before it got interesting for me but I think this is done on purpose. It was the kind of book I needed to read gradually, with breaks in between to fully absorb every story, every detail of the book. Throughout the book, Lori talks about her own patients and their struggles - some life-threatening and others, not so much but every story is so deeply personal and raw. This book has laid out every human emotion we go through in the most honest way possible and I am really glad to have read a book that is deeply honest and authentic. You see the author come to terms with her own worries, fears and anxieties and in a way it makes you realise how important it is to have a dialogue, to be able to talk to someone, whoever it may be. We all need someone we can talk to and there is no shame in that and that is what this book is all about!
you can't get through your pain by diminishing it. You can get through your pain by accepting it and figuring out what to do with it - a message that is so simple yet so difficult to grasp when you are going through difficult moments of your life.
Salt and Saffron by Kamila Shamsie
2.0
Getting into any book, I tend to avoid the preface and description. As long as I have a general idea of what the book is based on, I am good to go. This mostly works in my favour because books surprise me but sometimes it doesn't and this book did not end up being a good surprise.
I had been seeing Kamila's name come across my social media profiles quite a bit so I thought I'd read some of her books, Salt and Saffron being the first one I picked up. The story is set in a way that makes it very difficult to get into. I want to give you a brief summary but I am failing to find the right words. The book is written through Aliya's perspective, a girl who has just returned from America after 3 or 4 years and she's torn between some of her family's past stories and the truth behind her own 'not-quite-twins' theory. The book paces back and forth with Aliya recalling several stories she's been told about the 'Dard-e-Dils' - a term used to refer to Aliya's big, extended family - and you see new stories, twists and secrets unravel as you read along.
The author has tried her best to start a dialogue about the class division in Pakistan and you see the main character struggle with her own ingrained ideas of the difference between her and those who work for her (workers/helpers/cooks etc). The author does a good job at bringing forth the issue of class divide but that's all it is. I find it a little too extreme in terms of how she has trouble accepting some of the events that happen within the storyline. It's almost as if it was meant to be progressive and turned out to be anything but that!
The ending also seemed too predictable and unnecessarily long. I was disappointed to see that there wasn't more to Mariam's story and would have been happier if Aliya had actually met with Mariam to symbolise that she didn't really care for the class divide, that she was happy knowing Mariam was happy. I did expect more from the book, I expected there to be more stories relating to pre-partition or post-partition time. It did have some pleasant surprises in a few places where Aliya would talk about food, describe the setting of being in Karachi (my hometown so I have a soft place for whenever the author mentions Karachi in any setting).
Here are some of my favourite quotes;
- Our lives don't await memories, I decided; they are crippled by memories.
- Perhaps there's no escape from wounding memories.
- How do you stop missing the people you loved before you could say 'love'?
I had been seeing Kamila's name come across my social media profiles quite a bit so I thought I'd read some of her books, Salt and Saffron being the first one I picked up. The story is set in a way that makes it very difficult to get into. I want to give you a brief summary but I am failing to find the right words. The book is written through Aliya's perspective, a girl who has just returned from America after 3 or 4 years and she's torn between some of her family's past stories and the truth behind her own 'not-quite-twins' theory. The book paces back and forth with Aliya recalling several stories she's been told about the 'Dard-e-Dils' - a term used to refer to Aliya's big, extended family - and you see new stories, twists and secrets unravel as you read along.
The author has tried her best to start a dialogue about the class division in Pakistan and you see the main character struggle with her own ingrained ideas of the difference between her and those who work for her (workers/helpers/cooks etc). The author does a good job at bringing forth the issue of class divide but that's all it is. I find it a little too extreme in terms of how she has trouble accepting some of the events that happen within the storyline. It's almost as if it was meant to be progressive and turned out to be anything but that!
The ending also seemed too predictable and unnecessarily long. I was disappointed to see that there wasn't more to Mariam's story and would have been happier if Aliya had actually met with Mariam to symbolise that she didn't really care for the class divide, that she was happy knowing Mariam was happy. I did expect more from the book, I expected there to be more stories relating to pre-partition or post-partition time. It did have some pleasant surprises in a few places where Aliya would talk about food, describe the setting of being in Karachi (my hometown so I have a soft place for whenever the author mentions Karachi in any setting).
Here are some of my favourite quotes;
- Our lives don't await memories, I decided; they are crippled by memories.
- Perhaps there's no escape from wounding memories.
- How do you stop missing the people you loved before you could say 'love'?
Writers & Lovers by Lily King
4.0
Nearly every guy I’ve dated believed they should already be famous, believed that greatness was their destiny and they were already behind schedule. An early moment of intimacy often involved a confession of this sort: a childhood vision, teacher’s prophecy, a genius IQ. Now I understand it’s how boys are raised to think, how they are lured into adulthood. I’ve met ambitious women, driven women, but no woman has ever told me that greatness was her destiny.”
This quote alone is a whole star for me, it really is.
Writers and Lovers is a story about the personal struggles of a 31-year-old woman named Casey. It’s a story of coping with loss in unhealthy ways such as overworking, self-destructing and ignoring that inner voice at all times. With a mountain of debt, recent dead of her mother, a waitressing job with perverted co-workers and an unfinished book that’s been in the works for 6 years, Casey has a lot on her plate and the story is built around her attempts to make ends meet, cope with the anxiety-inducing phase she is going through.
Initially, I did think this book would be focused more on the love triangle mentioned in the book description but I truly believe that Casey’s personal growth is the bigger theme in this book, or at least it was for me. Yes, there is a love triangle too! You see Casey unable to decide between two men she is seeing but I won’t reveal too much about that.
I did not get attached to this book in the earlier chapters and I wasn’t expecting much of it but somewhere along the way, I got really attached to the story and how things turn out for Casey. This is the first book I have read by Lily King but I enjoyed how rich and well-build the characters are throughout the book. Each character has a personality that seeps through every action of theirs.
Casey’s struggles with her book writing, her rejection letters and the feeling of detachment from everything she wrote is something that resonated with me the most. As a part-time poet/writer, I can understand the detachment and simultaneously find a safe place within this book for my personal battle with writing. The reason I did not give it a 5 star is because I did feel like something was missing and that could entirely be my own fault. I prefer to read books with really strong, poetically written prose and when I don’t find that in a book, I don’t get that gut-wrenching, heart-breaking satisfaction. So that 5th star probably has more to do with me and less to do with the book and the story.
All in all, I truly enjoyed this book, the journey, the ups and downs and the sweet, honeylike ending that Casey deserved and got. The last few chapters felt like a jigsaw puzzle coming together after months of trying and that brought me true joy.
Favourite Quotes
1. It’s a particular kind of pleasure, of intimacy, loving a book with someone.
2. I can tell he lost someone close somehow. You can feel that in people, an openness, or maybe it’s an opening that you’re talking into. With other people, people who haven’t been through something like this, you feel the solid wall. Your words go scattershot off of it.
3. It’s good to see art, to remember what a natural human impulse it has always been.
4. You don’t realise how much effort you’ve put into covering things up until you try to dig them out.
5. All problems with writing and performing come from fear. Fear of exposure, fear of weakness, fear of lack of talent, fear of looking like a fool for trying, for even thinking you could write in the first place. It’s all fear. If we didn’t have fear, imagine the creativity in the world. Fear holds us back every step of the way. A lot of studies say that despite all our fears in this country – death, war, guns, illness – our biggest fear is public speaking. What I am doing right now. And when people are asked to identify which kind of public speaking they are most afraid of, they check the improvisation box. So improvisation is the number-one fear in America. Forget a nuclear winter or an eight-point nine earthquake or another Hitler. It’s improv. Which is funny, because aren’t we just improvising all day long? Isn’t our whole life just one long improvisation? What are we so scared of?
This quote alone is a whole star for me, it really is.
Writers and Lovers is a story about the personal struggles of a 31-year-old woman named Casey. It’s a story of coping with loss in unhealthy ways such as overworking, self-destructing and ignoring that inner voice at all times. With a mountain of debt, recent dead of her mother, a waitressing job with perverted co-workers and an unfinished book that’s been in the works for 6 years, Casey has a lot on her plate and the story is built around her attempts to make ends meet, cope with the anxiety-inducing phase she is going through.
Initially, I did think this book would be focused more on the love triangle mentioned in the book description but I truly believe that Casey’s personal growth is the bigger theme in this book, or at least it was for me. Yes, there is a love triangle too! You see Casey unable to decide between two men she is seeing but I won’t reveal too much about that.
I did not get attached to this book in the earlier chapters and I wasn’t expecting much of it but somewhere along the way, I got really attached to the story and how things turn out for Casey. This is the first book I have read by Lily King but I enjoyed how rich and well-build the characters are throughout the book. Each character has a personality that seeps through every action of theirs.
Casey’s struggles with her book writing, her rejection letters and the feeling of detachment from everything she wrote is something that resonated with me the most. As a part-time poet/writer, I can understand the detachment and simultaneously find a safe place within this book for my personal battle with writing. The reason I did not give it a 5 star is because I did feel like something was missing and that could entirely be my own fault. I prefer to read books with really strong, poetically written prose and when I don’t find that in a book, I don’t get that gut-wrenching, heart-breaking satisfaction. So that 5th star probably has more to do with me and less to do with the book and the story.
All in all, I truly enjoyed this book, the journey, the ups and downs and the sweet, honeylike ending that Casey deserved and got. The last few chapters felt like a jigsaw puzzle coming together after months of trying and that brought me true joy.
Favourite Quotes
1. It’s a particular kind of pleasure, of intimacy, loving a book with someone.
2. I can tell he lost someone close somehow. You can feel that in people, an openness, or maybe it’s an opening that you’re talking into. With other people, people who haven’t been through something like this, you feel the solid wall. Your words go scattershot off of it.
3. It’s good to see art, to remember what a natural human impulse it has always been.
4. You don’t realise how much effort you’ve put into covering things up until you try to dig them out.
5. All problems with writing and performing come from fear. Fear of exposure, fear of weakness, fear of lack of talent, fear of looking like a fool for trying, for even thinking you could write in the first place. It’s all fear. If we didn’t have fear, imagine the creativity in the world. Fear holds us back every step of the way. A lot of studies say that despite all our fears in this country – death, war, guns, illness – our biggest fear is public speaking. What I am doing right now. And when people are asked to identify which kind of public speaking they are most afraid of, they check the improvisation box. So improvisation is the number-one fear in America. Forget a nuclear winter or an eight-point nine earthquake or another Hitler. It’s improv. Which is funny, because aren’t we just improvising all day long? Isn’t our whole life just one long improvisation? What are we so scared of?
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
5.0
"Ma. You once told me that memory is a choice. But if you were god, you'd know its a flood."
I was midway through this book when I started dreading the idea of having to write a book review for it. I really do feel like any praise I give this book and the author, Ocean Vuong, will not be enough. It won't do them justice and give them the appreciation they deserve but I will try my best.
The story is narrated by Little Dog (the protagonist's nickname given by his grandmother) in the form of letters, addressed to his mother, some about his childhood, others about memories, love, loss and much more. I instantly fell in love with Ocean's prose-writing techniques, unique and absolutely stunning in the way he describes everything through metaphors. Belonging to a war-torn country, Little Dog writes about his grandmother Lan, her time in Vietnam and the generational trauma that war leaves behind, a trauma that reverberates years and years after the war.
"But what if the mother tongue is stunted? What if that tongue is not only the symbol of a void, but is itself a void, what if the tongue is cut out? Can you take pleasure in loss without losing oneself entirely? The Vietnamese I own is the one you gave me, th eone whose diction and syntax reach only the second-grade level."
It's rare for me to fall so deeply in love with an author's writing style and it has only happened thrice, despite having read many books. André Aciman, Jonathan Safran Foer and now Ocean Vuong. There is something timeless about writers who can dig out human emotions, bloody and raw and put them on paper in that exact form - bloody and raw. To feel emotions, to remember the feeling and to find the right words to describe that feeling is an art itself and Ocean is a brilliant artist.
The book isn't one continuous storyline where the next chapter/letter elaborates on the last. It's in bits and pieces which come together as you make your way through the book and the same happened with the ending. There isn't an anticipated ending, it's just the end. I don't know how to put that into better words. This book is beautiful but in a very sad, melancholic way. If you are looking to read something uplifting, this probably isn't for you but if you are anything like me, constantly on the hunt for books that break your heart into a million pieces AND has vivid prose, then this book is exactly what you're looking for.
My copy of this book is filled with line markers and tags. I was tagging every other line and truly, every single line is my favourite but here are the quotes that stood out the most;
Favourite Quotes
1. There is so much I want to tell you, Ma. I was once foolish enough to believe knowledge would clarify, but some things are so gauzed behind layers of syntax and semantics, behind days and hours, names forgotten, salvaged and shed, that simply knowing the wound exists does nothing to reveal it.
2. Ma. You once told me that memory is a choice. But if you were god, you'd know its a flood.
3. To arrive at love, then, is to arrive through obliteration. Eviscerate me, we mean to say, and I'll tell you the truth. I'll say yes.
4. Sometimes, when I'm careless, I think survival is easy: you just keep moving forward with what you have, or what's left of what you were given, until something changes - or you realise, at last. that you can change without disappearing, that all you had to do was wait until the storm passes you over and you find that - yes - your name is still attached to a living thing.
5. And so what? So what if all I ever made of my life was more of it?
6. It's in these moments, next to you, that I envy words for doing what we can never do. How they can tell all of themselves simply by standing still, simply by being. Imagine I could lie down beside you and my whole body, every cell, radiates a clear, singular meaning, not so much a writer as a word pressed down beside you.
7. The thing is, I don't want my sadness to be othered from me just like I don't want my happiness to be othered. They're both mine.
8. I miss you more than I remember you.
9. We try to preserve life - even when we know it has no chance of enduring its body. We feed it, keep it comfortable, bathe it, medicate it, caress it, even sing to it. We tend to those basic functions not because we are brave or selfless but because, like breath, it is the most fundamental act of our species: to sustain the body until time leaves it behind.
10. I am thinking of beauty again, how some things are hunted because we have deemed them beautiful. If, relative to the history of our planet, an individual life is so short, a blink of an eye, as they say, then to be gorgeous, even from the day you were born to the day you die, is to be gorgeous only briefly.
I was midway through this book when I started dreading the idea of having to write a book review for it. I really do feel like any praise I give this book and the author, Ocean Vuong, will not be enough. It won't do them justice and give them the appreciation they deserve but I will try my best.
The story is narrated by Little Dog (the protagonist's nickname given by his grandmother) in the form of letters, addressed to his mother, some about his childhood, others about memories, love, loss and much more. I instantly fell in love with Ocean's prose-writing techniques, unique and absolutely stunning in the way he describes everything through metaphors. Belonging to a war-torn country, Little Dog writes about his grandmother Lan, her time in Vietnam and the generational trauma that war leaves behind, a trauma that reverberates years and years after the war.
"But what if the mother tongue is stunted? What if that tongue is not only the symbol of a void, but is itself a void, what if the tongue is cut out? Can you take pleasure in loss without losing oneself entirely? The Vietnamese I own is the one you gave me, th eone whose diction and syntax reach only the second-grade level."
It's rare for me to fall so deeply in love with an author's writing style and it has only happened thrice, despite having read many books. André Aciman, Jonathan Safran Foer and now Ocean Vuong. There is something timeless about writers who can dig out human emotions, bloody and raw and put them on paper in that exact form - bloody and raw. To feel emotions, to remember the feeling and to find the right words to describe that feeling is an art itself and Ocean is a brilliant artist.
The book isn't one continuous storyline where the next chapter/letter elaborates on the last. It's in bits and pieces which come together as you make your way through the book and the same happened with the ending. There isn't an anticipated ending, it's just the end. I don't know how to put that into better words. This book is beautiful but in a very sad, melancholic way. If you are looking to read something uplifting, this probably isn't for you but if you are anything like me, constantly on the hunt for books that break your heart into a million pieces AND has vivid prose, then this book is exactly what you're looking for.
My copy of this book is filled with line markers and tags. I was tagging every other line and truly, every single line is my favourite but here are the quotes that stood out the most;
Favourite Quotes
1. There is so much I want to tell you, Ma. I was once foolish enough to believe knowledge would clarify, but some things are so gauzed behind layers of syntax and semantics, behind days and hours, names forgotten, salvaged and shed, that simply knowing the wound exists does nothing to reveal it.
2. Ma. You once told me that memory is a choice. But if you were god, you'd know its a flood.
3. To arrive at love, then, is to arrive through obliteration. Eviscerate me, we mean to say, and I'll tell you the truth. I'll say yes.
4. Sometimes, when I'm careless, I think survival is easy: you just keep moving forward with what you have, or what's left of what you were given, until something changes - or you realise, at last. that you can change without disappearing, that all you had to do was wait until the storm passes you over and you find that - yes - your name is still attached to a living thing.
5. And so what? So what if all I ever made of my life was more of it?
6. It's in these moments, next to you, that I envy words for doing what we can never do. How they can tell all of themselves simply by standing still, simply by being. Imagine I could lie down beside you and my whole body, every cell, radiates a clear, singular meaning, not so much a writer as a word pressed down beside you.
7. The thing is, I don't want my sadness to be othered from me just like I don't want my happiness to be othered. They're both mine.
8. I miss you more than I remember you.
9. We try to preserve life - even when we know it has no chance of enduring its body. We feed it, keep it comfortable, bathe it, medicate it, caress it, even sing to it. We tend to those basic functions not because we are brave or selfless but because, like breath, it is the most fundamental act of our species: to sustain the body until time leaves it behind.
10. I am thinking of beauty again, how some things are hunted because we have deemed them beautiful. If, relative to the history of our planet, an individual life is so short, a blink of an eye, as they say, then to be gorgeous, even from the day you were born to the day you die, is to be gorgeous only briefly.