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versmonesprit's reviews
216 reviews
Princess Princess Ever After by K. O'Neill
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
0.25
Absolutely no. Way to butcher a great premise of princesses redefining what that means, and falling in love along the way — and that sounds difficult to do, but hey, O’Neill achieves that effortlessly . . . and by that I mean literally without effort, because absolutely no effort went into creating this story.
I’m sure illustrating a book is difficult, but I can’t see how it could ever be an acceptable reason to cut away all the vital parts of a story so the book is very short. And speaking of illustrations, sure, liking or disliking them is personal, but these are just… bad. It shows how no effort went into the drawings…
Anyway, I see no reason to drag this out. The book is far too short, it ruins the story’s chance to not be as cringy as it is. The dialogues are cringy, the plotting is cringy, the so-called message is cringy because of how surface level it is, and the dynamics are cringy because there is no space for natural, organic growth for anyone or anything! So many “adventures” are crammed into it that they never feel like adventures or accomplishments. If anything, I’d call this entire book just the storyboard, because that’s what it reads like.
Seeing as this is intended for middle grade readers, shouldn’t it have some, I don’t know, actual plot? Actual events unfolding? Actual, sound relationships between the characters?
I’m sure illustrating a book is difficult, but I can’t see how it could ever be an acceptable reason to cut away all the vital parts of a story so the book is very short. And speaking of illustrations, sure, liking or disliking them is personal, but these are just… bad. It shows how no effort went into the drawings…
Anyway, I see no reason to drag this out. The book is far too short, it ruins the story’s chance to not be as cringy as it is. The dialogues are cringy, the plotting is cringy, the so-called message is cringy because of how surface level it is, and the dynamics are cringy because there is no space for natural, organic growth for anyone or anything! So many “adventures” are crammed into it that they never feel like adventures or accomplishments. If anything, I’d call this entire book just the storyboard, because that’s what it reads like.
Seeing as this is intended for middle grade readers, shouldn’t it have some, I don’t know, actual plot? Actual events unfolding? Actual, sound relationships between the characters?
Dewdrop by K. O'Neill
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
1.0
I need O’Neill to understand that shading is not the enemy. No matter how cute the illustrations are, without shading they are giving corporate flat and nothing else. That’s not good, especially when the children’s book is clearly intended for very, very young ones — essentially, toddlers.
There’s nothing wrong about that, I have a soft spot for children’s books because I grew up with lovely ones, and they’re to credit for my lifelong love of reading! But toddler books have a very specific demand, and that is what I can best describe as drama.
Toddlers are yet to learn about the world, so when a book about overcoming self-doubt through a caring, cheering friend does not have BIG, exaggerated emotions and moments, the subtlety will be lost on them.
First and foremost, the visuals have to strike! They’re what the child will be captivated by while their caregiver reads and enacts the story. Here, the colour contrast is so low, the characters blend into the background. Having a cohesive, atmospheric colour palette is good for older readers, but at least use shading to add depth and isolate the important elements when it comes to a book for toddlers!
And yes, a caregiver will add their own sound effects while reading to the toddler, but it still helps to add some fun onomatopoeia yourself! Why would you want to miss out on the chance anyway? It’s entertaining! Cutting both the sounds and the scenes as short gives very little for the adult to work with!
And that’s what the entirety of the book suffers too: there’s nowhere near enough exaggeration in self-doubt, in the cheering, and in the regaining of confidence. How can the toddler process these sentiments when they’re told in such a subdued manner? Again, yes, the caregiver can act it out with more emotion, but are you really giving enough material to work with? The answer is unfortunately no.
I really did want to love this, but it feels like a draft that has more room for improvement than existing material.
There’s nothing wrong about that, I have a soft spot for children’s books because I grew up with lovely ones, and they’re to credit for my lifelong love of reading! But toddler books have a very specific demand, and that is what I can best describe as drama.
Toddlers are yet to learn about the world, so when a book about overcoming self-doubt through a caring, cheering friend does not have BIG, exaggerated emotions and moments, the subtlety will be lost on them.
First and foremost, the visuals have to strike! They’re what the child will be captivated by while their caregiver reads and enacts the story. Here, the colour contrast is so low, the characters blend into the background. Having a cohesive, atmospheric colour palette is good for older readers, but at least use shading to add depth and isolate the important elements when it comes to a book for toddlers!
And yes, a caregiver will add their own sound effects while reading to the toddler, but it still helps to add some fun onomatopoeia yourself! Why would you want to miss out on the chance anyway? It’s entertaining! Cutting both the sounds and the scenes as short gives very little for the adult to work with!
And that’s what the entirety of the book suffers too: there’s nowhere near enough exaggeration in self-doubt, in the cheering, and in the regaining of confidence. How can the toddler process these sentiments when they’re told in such a subdued manner? Again, yes, the caregiver can act it out with more emotion, but are you really giving enough material to work with? The answer is unfortunately no.
I really did want to love this, but it feels like a draft that has more room for improvement than existing material.
In Bloom by Paul Tremblay
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
0.25
HUH??? WHY??? This story has GOT to be a joke, because it has absolutely nothing going on for it! All its choices are so inexplicably, unjustifiably poor . . . and where exactly is the creature? You can’t make a blob the so-called creature of a short creature-feature story! That’s not a creature unless we’re in an extra cheesy B-movie!
There was no reason for Heidi to be featured as a character, there was no reason for us to hear about her crush on her roommate at all, there was no reason for the actual story not to begin until 45% in (and then keep meandering for another 10%) and there was no reason for Swamp Thing to be mentioned! Likewise with Jaws… just stop with references, stop trying to make other and better stories tell the one YOU are supposed to write…
Literally nothing happens, the only horror is to have paid any amount of money for this, and to be frank this should have belonged in a sports stories collection because there’s so much more of baseball than anything else!
I read this while listening to Nox Arcana, and not even that helped create any atmosphere or tension when the material was this painfully boring!
There was no reason for Heidi to be featured as a character, there was no reason for us to hear about her crush on her roommate at all, there was no reason for the actual story not to begin until 45% in (and then keep meandering for another 10%) and there was no reason for Swamp Thing to be mentioned! Likewise with Jaws… just stop with references, stop trying to make other and better stories tell the one YOU are supposed to write…
Literally nothing happens, the only horror is to have paid any amount of money for this, and to be frank this should have belonged in a sports stories collection because there’s so much more of baseball than anything else!
I read this while listening to Nox Arcana, and not even that helped create any atmosphere or tension when the material was this painfully boring!
It Waits in the Woods by Josh Malerman
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
2.0
I honestly don’t know what to say, and how to say it because after two weeks, it’s already forgettable.
There are so many missed opportunities to build atmosphere and tension — if only Malerman had leaned into showing more than telling all the time. (I read this while listening to Nox Arcana, and that was the only thing that carried and created any tense atmosphere.) All the unnecessary allusions to movies take away so significantly from the story too, so when it’s a happy ending and every little promising idea thus fizzles out, you’re not left with much anything.
This was my first Malerman, and unless Goblin becomes available on Everand, it will be my last. I’m not necessarily begrudging the authors these stories as they all seem to be a flop for some sad reason, but I can’t get over the mass market writing style with the extremely broken up sentences. Just form a complete, proper sentence — it’s not that hard!
There are so many missed opportunities to build atmosphere and tension — if only Malerman had leaned into showing more than telling all the time. (I read this while listening to Nox Arcana, and that was the only thing that carried and created any tense atmosphere.) All the unnecessary allusions to movies take away so significantly from the story too, so when it’s a happy ending and every little promising idea thus fizzles out, you’re not left with much anything.
This was my first Malerman, and unless Goblin becomes available on Everand, it will be my last. I’m not necessarily begrudging the authors these stories as they all seem to be a flop for some sad reason, but I can’t get over the mass market writing style with the extremely broken up sentences. Just form a complete, proper sentence — it’s not that hard!
Ankle Snatcher by Grady Hendrix
If he had gone a more symbolic way, I might’ve liked this a lot better.
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
1.0
This is the first time I regret having purchased something written by Grady Hendrix, and funnily enough, it’s the first I read by him that features a male narrator. While his female leads are so well done, I found his male narrative voice inauthentic and unoriginal.
And of all the things he could’ve done with the premise of the bogeyman, I was disappointed to see he chose to do nothing whatsoever with “creature feature” and turned it into social commentary. I like horror symbolism, but I don’t think this was a good analogy, and I really did not want to read about femicides here when he did an immensely better job at that commentary in The Final Girl Support Group within a single paragraph:
And of all the things he could’ve done with the premise of the bogeyman, I was disappointed to see he chose to do nothing whatsoever with “creature feature” and turned it into social commentary. I like horror symbolism, but I don’t think this was a good analogy, and I really did not want to read about femicides here when he did an immensely better job at that commentary in The Final Girl Support Group within a single paragraph:
[…] and I’m every girl who’s ever run from a man with a weapon, every girl who ever ran for her life across spaces where she was supposed to be safe. […] and he can’t catch me, I’m as fast as all of us put together, […] I’m the fastest girl in the world.
If he had gone a more symbolic way, I might’ve liked this a lot better.
The Pram by Joe Hill
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
2.0
This was a rollercoaster ride for me: It was only alright, then it became perfect, and then it took a sudden turn away from all the elements that made it special.
This could have been something great had it leaned into Will’s yearning for fatherhood and his descent to insanity. I understand that would omit the creature aspect when it’s a story within a collection titled “creature feature,” but there already is nowhere near enough creature for it to be considered actual creature feature . . . so why not let it be more ambiguous, more mysterious, more emotional?
The backtrack on the marital tension was a whole letdown on its own, a climax point shattered to bits before it ever reached its potential. One moment the story was making a point on emotionally unequal relationships, and the next that was treated like such a horrendous thought process it required the thinker to absolve himself through self-sacrifice … which made it an even worse unequal relationship, but now minus a depth to the story beyond just a creature feature.
The concept for a cult was incredibly interesting, again until that very end. Over-explanation kills lure. The more mysterious something is, the bigger the lasting fright factor. The ending made it too mainstream, too run of the mill — just like any movie.
But the biggest sin was the millennial humour, one that cropped up even at the very end, completely ruining that moment.
Thinking back to it, I’m not even sure the “perfect” portion was really perfect, or if the atmosphere was created by the fact that I was listening to Nox Arcana.
This could have been something great had it leaned into Will’s yearning for fatherhood and his descent to insanity. I understand that would omit the creature aspect when it’s a story within a collection titled “creature feature,” but there already is nowhere near enough creature for it to be considered actual creature feature . . . so why not let it be more ambiguous, more mysterious, more emotional?
The backtrack on the marital tension was a whole letdown on its own, a climax point shattered to bits before it ever reached its potential. One moment the story was making a point on emotionally unequal relationships, and the next that was treated like such a horrendous thought process it required the thinker to absolve himself through self-sacrifice … which made it an even worse unequal relationship, but now minus a depth to the story beyond just a creature feature.
The concept for a cult was incredibly interesting, again until that very end. Over-explanation kills lure. The more mysterious something is, the bigger the lasting fright factor. The ending made it too mainstream, too run of the mill — just like any movie.
But the biggest sin was the millennial humour, one that cropped up even at the very end, completely ruining that moment.
Thinking back to it, I’m not even sure the “perfect” portion was really perfect, or if the atmosphere was created by the fact that I was listening to Nox Arcana.
Slewfoot: A Tale of Bewitchery by Brom
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
0.25
I should have stopped the second a character from the 17th century used the word “sadistic”. That would have saved me a lot of frustration. Allegedly TWO editors worked on this book, and this isn’t the only instance in which a word spoken by a character in the 1660s would not be coined (or achieve the meaning the book used it in) until a century or two later.
You cannot write good historical fiction unless you undertake the little process called “research”. Because clearly none at all went into this, a book meant to be folk horror had ZERO atmospheric quality. As if this weren’t enough, the book went in circles, repeating itself and the points it wanted to make, instead of advancing the story. The story does not advance a single inch until the very end when there is finally a witch, but by then you have been bored to death so the very little revenge gore does absolutely nothing to salvage the book. Yes, horror is an incredibly broad genre, but folk horror requires two things: atmosphere, and actual horror lore.
Read this if you want to experience the slow death of all happiness and will to live at the hands of rage-inducing boredom.
You cannot write good historical fiction unless you undertake the little process called “research”. Because clearly none at all went into this, a book meant to be folk horror had ZERO atmospheric quality. As if this weren’t enough, the book went in circles, repeating itself and the points it wanted to make, instead of advancing the story. The story does not advance a single inch until the very end when there is finally a witch, but by then you have been bored to death so the very little revenge gore does absolutely nothing to salvage the book. Yes, horror is an incredibly broad genre, but folk horror requires two things: atmosphere, and actual horror lore.
Read this if you want to experience the slow death of all happiness and will to live at the hands of rage-inducing boredom.
Stranger to the Moon by Evelio Rosero
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
0.25
You should just read the blurb and imagine the rest, because I guarantee it’ll be a miles better story than what you actually get here.
For just the briefest moment, this book was brilliant. It was captivating, it was moving, and I couldn’t wait for it to be a lyrical and powerful journey. Instead, it went on and on and on and on and on and on about the most boring and repetitive “atrocities” committed by the Clothed people against the Naked people. I say “atrocities” because these too become dull and monotonous as they lose their horrifying effectiveness to the never-ending repetition to the point this just turns into a meandering, pestering sob story. The entire book is a singular info-dump that repeats a point that was already made by the third page. It’s too much of nothing to ever be considered an allegory, and by the end all I felt was just utter disgust against the narrator, likely for putting me through this drivel but also because my patience was worn too thin to have any sort of sympathy for any repulsive man be it an oppressed one or an oppressor. It just awoke my inner Valerie Solanas.
Even at less than 100 pages, this book was unforgivably overdrawn. You should never stretch out a story that merits no more than 7 pages. Brevity is your friend, especially when you want a story to make an impact.
For just the briefest moment, this book was brilliant. It was captivating, it was moving, and I couldn’t wait for it to be a lyrical and powerful journey. Instead, it went on and on and on and on and on and on about the most boring and repetitive “atrocities” committed by the Clothed people against the Naked people. I say “atrocities” because these too become dull and monotonous as they lose their horrifying effectiveness to the never-ending repetition to the point this just turns into a meandering, pestering sob story. The entire book is a singular info-dump that repeats a point that was already made by the third page. It’s too much of nothing to ever be considered an allegory, and by the end all I felt was just utter disgust against the narrator, likely for putting me through this drivel but also because my patience was worn too thin to have any sort of sympathy for any repulsive man be it an oppressed one or an oppressor. It just awoke my inner Valerie Solanas.
Even at less than 100 pages, this book was unforgivably overdrawn. You should never stretch out a story that merits no more than 7 pages. Brevity is your friend, especially when you want a story to make an impact.
Death in Her Hands by Ottessa Moshfegh
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.25
On just page 12 the narrator Vesta (who by the way mispronounces her own surname) asks “Wasn’t I a bore?” and my God, YES. YES. I’m pretty sure I was already bored and fucking tired of this shitty book by the end of page 1.
Here we have as narrator and main character a blubbering idiot and misogynistic cunt, whose first person voice is a complete, inauthentic, unconvincing failure — it could have well been Eileen speaking, it could have well been the unnamed narrator of My Year of Rest and Relaxation speaking. Is Moshfegh capable of writing first person? McGlue would suggest yes; everything afterwards makes it feel like McGlue was a one-off fluke of brilliance, and Moshfegh is just a shitty writer who neither respects her readers nor gives a shit about her books seeing as they feel like Eileen rewritten over and over again by slamming the keyboard. Death in Her Hands certainly feels like it was potentially written by several monkeys smashing at typewriters, because it was nothing but random sentences stringed together.
Its pathetic attempt at meta with the “I’d write a book starting with the note this book starts with if anyone would read it” spiel almost gave me a facial paralysis. Moshfegh as a whole seems more and more like a caricature with her shallow “controversial just to be controversial” spiel with feces being mentioned in every book and some run of the mill anti-abortion rant and dog abuse here. I can’t conceive of a writer as anything but cheap when said writer resorts to cheap tricks time and time again. None of these characters are “unhinged women” or “unlikeable characters” — they’re just lazy characters that lack any and all character and only hinge on cheap shock factors that are so mainstream and cowardly that they aren’t even real, actual shock factors.
Could the premise have been something special at the hands of an accomplished writer who cares about writing? Yes. But at Moshfegh’s hands it’s nothing but headache inducing drivel. I regret every single penny I have paid for her books. I can’t wait to read Lapvona and be forever done with Moshfegh — I wish I had read all these books within a single month so I could still return them. RIP my hard earned money and self-respect as a reader.
Here we have as narrator and main character a blubbering idiot and misogynistic cunt, whose first person voice is a complete, inauthentic, unconvincing failure — it could have well been Eileen speaking, it could have well been the unnamed narrator of My Year of Rest and Relaxation speaking. Is Moshfegh capable of writing first person? McGlue would suggest yes; everything afterwards makes it feel like McGlue was a one-off fluke of brilliance, and Moshfegh is just a shitty writer who neither respects her readers nor gives a shit about her books seeing as they feel like Eileen rewritten over and over again by slamming the keyboard. Death in Her Hands certainly feels like it was potentially written by several monkeys smashing at typewriters, because it was nothing but random sentences stringed together.
Its pathetic attempt at meta with the “I’d write a book starting with the note this book starts with if anyone would read it” spiel almost gave me a facial paralysis. Moshfegh as a whole seems more and more like a caricature with her shallow “controversial just to be controversial” spiel with feces being mentioned in every book and some run of the mill anti-abortion rant and dog abuse here. I can’t conceive of a writer as anything but cheap when said writer resorts to cheap tricks time and time again. None of these characters are “unhinged women” or “unlikeable characters” — they’re just lazy characters that lack any and all character and only hinge on cheap shock factors that are so mainstream and cowardly that they aren’t even real, actual shock factors.
Could the premise have been something special at the hands of an accomplished writer who cares about writing? Yes. But at Moshfegh’s hands it’s nothing but headache inducing drivel. I regret every single penny I have paid for her books. I can’t wait to read Lapvona and be forever done with Moshfegh — I wish I had read all these books within a single month so I could still return them. RIP my hard earned money and self-respect as a reader.
My Little Occult Book Club by Steven Rhodes
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
5.0
Designed like a book catalogue for children in cults and with morbid hobbies, My Little Occult Book Club couldn’t be farther from a novelty item: The attention to detail is impeccable, it genuinely looks vintage! The black humour is top notch, and Steven Rhodes’s art is brilliant! I would read every single fictional book in this fictional catalogue if I could. It’s hard to categorise this, but it will surely appeal to collectors of 70s/80s pop culture inspired art books, as well as to horror-comedy readers.
This is one of the most special and unique books in my home library, and I’m BEGGING Rhodes to release more of these, if only to compile his art! I visited his website right after finishing my delightful time within its pages, and found myself wishing I could buy every single one of his designs. Unfortunately that’s not a viable option for me, but I wouldn’t blink twice before buying another book (or two!) that contains the rest of his artwork so they’d all always be within reach.
There is indeed a poster inside too!
This is one of the most special and unique books in my home library, and I’m BEGGING Rhodes to release more of these, if only to compile his art! I visited his website right after finishing my delightful time within its pages, and found myself wishing I could buy every single one of his designs. Unfortunately that’s not a viable option for me, but I wouldn’t blink twice before buying another book (or two!) that contains the rest of his artwork so they’d all always be within reach.
There is indeed a poster inside too!