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vildfarenraev's reviews
11 reviews
Cream by Jay H.D.
This book started off strong but I will say that my attention started to waiver around the middle. I thought the intrusive violent thoughts and fantasies Zac has were shown on page really well and I hoped for more of that type of writing and a more developed background with the other characters. I know they’re all messy teenagers with plenty of baggage but I had a hard time caring about them. I guess I got the idea that this was more of a slasher than a thriller, but it unfortunately lacked in the slasher area. Regardless of the rough around the edges writing, I still did see the potential with this book and wouldn’t say no to reading more of Jay H.D.’s work.
My Friend Dahmer by Derf Backderf
dark
informative
sad
fast-paced
In 2011, I was irrationally afraid of Jeffrey Dahmer and also entirely obsessed with true crime. A law teacher in my high school encourage my interests and I spent many hours reading as much as I could possibly get my hands on. I wasn’t aware of this graphic novel until 2017 when the film adaptation was premiering at Toronto After Dark. The story gave me mostly information I was already familiar with but there was also something more there. This memoir provides a perspective that doesn’t exist within the FBI’s records or the Dateline interviews. It’s hard to describe but there’s a degree of sadness that Backderf grants readers to feel. A sadness that isn’t necessarily about Dahmer but about any weird kid that no one thinks to check in on. How many people could have been saved if someone had noticed “Jeff” before everyone would only know him by “Dahmer”? It’s a question that hurts. There is no excusing the crimes or forgiving the man, but things could have been so very different and that is something allowed to be mourned.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Murder, Gore, Stalking, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Alcoholism, Animal death, and Violence
Death Stranding - Death Stranding: The Official Novelization - Volume 2 by Hitori Nojima
Not a single prepper or porter or engineer wants things to “go back to normal”. Things are hard and could be better but the main want for everyone seems to be access to survival tools and information. No one wants the return of government organizations or capitalism. There’s a selfishness in the mandate of Bridges that really rubs me the wrong way (but I think that’s the point). But again, this is a story that is really hard to describe since so much of it is an experience combined with heavy theoretical science and theology.
Regardless of the hard parts, I adore the characters deeply so in all of their stand-offish loneliness and flaws. Sam and Fragile deserve hugs (well, air hugs for Sam unless he explicitly says he wants one) and love and peace. They deserve honesty and the space to admit their vulnerabilities and mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s so hard to talk about this game and/or the novelization.
I would not be quick to recommend this story to those not willing to put in the work to follow along, but for anyone curious (or otherwise unable to play it themselves) I highly recommend watching the 34-hour let’s play that Jackspeticeye posted when he was given an early copy of Kojima’s masterpiece. And this is a masterpiece. It’s not for everyone, but it’s gorgeous to me.
3.75
Death Stranding is hard to write a review of regardless of if it’s the game or the book. It’s even harder when I personally feel like the two formats truly need to go hand in hand in order for someone to truly get the full range of the story. It is complicated - sometimes overly so - and can be considered incredibly boring in the in-between moments. But there is a comfort in this story that is so incredibly unique. The visuals of the game combined with the complexities of both volumes of the novel compliment each other but that’s a serious time commitment. In the end, I appreciated the narrative and the thesis that connections are vital to survival, but they need to be formed for the right reasons. It also questions if bringing back the past is what is actually better than improving the moment. To me the answer is no, but it is far more than that complicated.
As the bridges are built to re-build America, more and more terrible things happen and interference gets in the way of the signals Sam has risked his life to install. There is a huge American-centric focus to the story that really speaks to certain political views and (inadvertently) lockdown protocols that happened around the time of the game’s initial release. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but I found myself repeatedly getting worked up over the “go back to normal” and “return to the way things should be” instead of having people pay more attention to working together to make like better.
As the bridges are built to re-build America, more and more terrible things happen and interference gets in the way of the signals Sam has risked his life to install. There is a huge American-centric focus to the story that really speaks to certain political views and (inadvertently) lockdown protocols that happened around the time of the game’s initial release. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but I found myself repeatedly getting worked up over the “go back to normal” and “return to the way things should be” instead of having people pay more attention to working together to make like better.
Not a single prepper or porter or engineer wants things to “go back to normal”. Things are hard and could be better but the main want for everyone seems to be access to survival tools and information. No one wants the return of government organizations or capitalism. There’s a selfishness in the mandate of Bridges that really rubs me the wrong way (but I think that’s the point). But again, this is a story that is really hard to describe since so much of it is an experience combined with heavy theoretical science and theology.
Regardless of the hard parts, I adore the characters deeply so in all of their stand-offish loneliness and flaws. Sam and Fragile deserve hugs (well, air hugs for Sam unless he explicitly says he wants one) and love and peace. They deserve honesty and the space to admit their vulnerabilities and mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s so hard to talk about this game and/or the novelization.
I would not be quick to recommend this story to those not willing to put in the work to follow along, but for anyone curious (or otherwise unable to play it themselves) I highly recommend watching the 34-hour let’s play that Jackspeticeye posted when he was given an early copy of Kojima’s masterpiece. And this is a masterpiece. It’s not for everyone, but it’s gorgeous to me.
Death Stranding - Death Stranding: The Official Novelization - Volume 1 by Hitori Nojima
Not a single prepper or porter or engineer wants things to “go back to normal”. Things are hard and could be better but the main want for everyone seems to be access to survival tools and information. No one wants the return of government organizations or capitalism. There’s a selfishness in the mandate of Bridges that really rubs me the wrong way (but I think that’s the point). But again, this is a story that is really hard to describe since so much of it is an experience combined with heavy theoretical science and theology.
Regardless of the hard parts, I adore the characters deeply so in all of their stand-offish loneliness and flaws. Sam and Fragile deserve hugs (well, air hugs for Sam unless he explicitly says he wants one) and love and peace. They deserve honesty and the space to admit their vulnerabilities and mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s so hard to talk about this game and/or the novelization.
I would not be quick to recommend this story to those not willing to put in the work to follow along, but for anyone curious (or otherwise unable to play it themselves) I highly recommend watching the 34-hour let’s play that Jackspeticeye posted when he was given an early copy of Kojima’s masterpiece. And this is a masterpiece. It’s not for everyone, but it’s gorgeous to me.
4.0
Death Stranding is hard to write a review of regardless of if it’s the game or the book. It’s even harder when I personally feel like the two formats truly need to go hand in hand in order for someone to truly get the full range of the story. It is complicated - sometimes overly so - and can be considered incredibly boring in the in-between moments. But there is a comfort in this story that is so incredibly unique. The visuals of the game combined with the complexities of both volumes of the novel compliment each other but that’s a serious time commitment. In the end, I appreciated the narrative and the thesis that connections are vital to survival, but they need to be formed for the right reasons. It also questions if bringing back the past is what is actually better than improving the moment. To me the answer is no, but it is far more than that complicated.
As the bridges are built to re-build America, more and more terrible things happen and interference gets in the way of the signals Sam has risked his life to install. There is a huge American-centric focus to the story that really speaks to certain political views and (inadvertently) lockdown protocols that happened around the time of the game’s initial release. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but I found myself repeatedly getting worked up over the “go back to normal” and “return to the way things should be” instead of having people pay more attention to working together to make like better.
As the bridges are built to re-build America, more and more terrible things happen and interference gets in the way of the signals Sam has risked his life to install. There is a huge American-centric focus to the story that really speaks to certain political views and (inadvertently) lockdown protocols that happened around the time of the game’s initial release. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but I found myself repeatedly getting worked up over the “go back to normal” and “return to the way things should be” instead of having people pay more attention to working together to make like better.
Not a single prepper or porter or engineer wants things to “go back to normal”. Things are hard and could be better but the main want for everyone seems to be access to survival tools and information. No one wants the return of government organizations or capitalism. There’s a selfishness in the mandate of Bridges that really rubs me the wrong way (but I think that’s the point). But again, this is a story that is really hard to describe since so much of it is an experience combined with heavy theoretical science and theology.
Regardless of the hard parts, I adore the characters deeply so in all of their stand-offish loneliness and flaws. Sam and Fragile deserve hugs (well, air hugs for Sam unless he explicitly says he wants one) and love and peace. They deserve honesty and the space to admit their vulnerabilities and mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s so hard to talk about this game and/or the novelization.
I would not be quick to recommend this story to those not willing to put in the work to follow along, but for anyone curious (or otherwise unable to play it themselves) I highly recommend watching the 34-hour let’s play that Jackspeticeye posted when he was given an early copy of Kojima’s masterpiece. And this is a masterpiece. It’s not for everyone, but it’s gorgeous to me.
In Excess of Dark by Red Lagoe
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Thank you to NetGalley and DarkLit Press for the digital advanced reader copy of this novella. This in no way influences my opinions.
While this book was far from perfect, it wormed its way into my brain in that sick and wonderful way that only horror can.
This was a difficult little book to get through, but that's not a bad thing. There is a primary focus on handling grief as well as the weight of struggling with intrusive thoughts. There is a level of paranoia and superstition, compulsions, that come with the sort of thoughts that Karina struggles with that are very real for people managing life with mental illness. Reading about that sort of thing got more than a little upsetting at times, but because I could relate.
At first I had a hard time gelling with the story. The third-person POV felt like it was meant to be written as first-person but was changed at the last second, and I wasn't sure where the story itself was going. However, I then saw someone else compare it to Final Destination and things clicked in a far more enjoyable way.
I feel the point of the story is how destructive it is to hide and bottle feelings inside as well as making the very clear statement that just because someone has intrusive thoughts, it does not mean that they are a bad person.
As I said, this book isn't perfect, but it has heart and a vulnerability that I have a great respect for.
While this book was far from perfect, it wormed its way into my brain in that sick and wonderful way that only horror can.
This was a difficult little book to get through, but that's not a bad thing. There is a primary focus on handling grief as well as the weight of struggling with intrusive thoughts. There is a level of paranoia and superstition, compulsions, that come with the sort of thoughts that Karina struggles with that are very real for people managing life with mental illness. Reading about that sort of thing got more than a little upsetting at times, but because I could relate.
At first I had a hard time gelling with the story. The third-person POV felt like it was meant to be written as first-person but was changed at the last second, and I wasn't sure where the story itself was going. However, I then saw someone else compare it to Final Destination and things clicked in a far more enjoyable way.
I feel the point of the story is how destructive it is to hide and bottle feelings inside as well as making the very clear statement that just because someone has intrusive thoughts, it does not mean that they are a bad person.
As I said, this book isn't perfect, but it has heart and a vulnerability that I have a great respect for.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Murder, Emotional abuse, Child death, Death, Toxic relationship, Gore, Gaslighting, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Panic attacks/disorders, Injury/Injury detail, and Death of parent
The Marsh King's Daughter by Karen Dionne
4.5
I really loved this book.
What makes it stand out is the different kind of perspective. Helena isn't just "the child of a bad man" but was entirely oblivious to who he really was until the moment she wasn't. Her perspective as both a child and an adult was a great way to tell the story.
Trauma is a curious thing that does very different things to very different people and I found Helena to be a relatable figure in terms of her trauma responses. She was believable from start to finish and I not only relate but sympathize with the conflicted love of her father. And she did love him. She saw a good in him as a child, a "redeeming" quality she was raised to believe in. Her story is one of breaking generational trauma because of this.
There were layers to this novel that I didn't necessarily expect which created great levels of depth in the story. How do you break a cycle of abuse while also losing everything you've even known and drowning under the expectations of a world you know nothing about? How can you outrun a past you aren't ready to leave behind? Helena believed she did everything she could to forget and hide who she was, and yet lived on her father's land in a town only miles from her mother's hometown and the marsh. She kept her tattoos, her knife, her hunting skills. Her father was never far from her thoughts no matter what she did or what lies she told.
But Helena was never weak. She is one of the most resilient female characters I've ever read about and her actions were empowering and - to me, at least - cathartic.
The only negative I can remotely think of is that the climax of the story dragged a little bit. There was some significant repetition in the end with the fairytale of the marsh king, but that's not a deal breaker in terms of enjoying the book as a whole.
I'm cautiously excited to watch the adaptation with Ben Mendelsohn (who is absolutely perfect casting for Jacob, I'm honestly most excited about him) and Daisy Ridley. Regardless of how it is, I'm definitely planning on reading more from Karen Dionne as I really truly enjoyed this book.
What makes it stand out is the different kind of perspective. Helena isn't just "the child of a bad man" but was entirely oblivious to who he really was until the moment she wasn't. Her perspective as both a child and an adult was a great way to tell the story.
Trauma is a curious thing that does very different things to very different people and I found Helena to be a relatable figure in terms of her trauma responses. She was believable from start to finish and I not only relate but sympathize with the conflicted love of her father. And she did love him. She saw a good in him as a child, a "redeeming" quality she was raised to believe in. Her story is one of breaking generational trauma because of this.
There were layers to this novel that I didn't necessarily expect which created great levels of depth in the story. How do you break a cycle of abuse while also losing everything you've even known and drowning under the expectations of a world you know nothing about? How can you outrun a past you aren't ready to leave behind? Helena believed she did everything she could to forget and hide who she was, and yet lived on her father's land in a town only miles from her mother's hometown and the marsh. She kept her tattoos, her knife, her hunting skills. Her father was never far from her thoughts no matter what she did or what lies she told.
But Helena was never weak. She is one of the most resilient female characters I've ever read about and her actions were empowering and - to me, at least - cathartic.
The only negative I can remotely think of is that the climax of the story dragged a little bit. There was some significant repetition in the end with the fairytale of the marsh king, but that's not a deal breaker in terms of enjoying the book as a whole.
I'm cautiously excited to watch the adaptation with Ben Mendelsohn (who is absolutely perfect casting for Jacob, I'm honestly most excited about him) and Daisy Ridley. Regardless of how it is, I'm definitely planning on reading more from Karen Dionne as I really truly enjoyed this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Kidnapping, Murder, Domestic abuse, Animal death, Animal cruelty, and Torture
The End of the World Is a Cul de Sac: Stories by Louise Kennedy
2.5
I didn't mind this collection, but I felt like I was missing something in regards to the plot of several of the stories. In total, the stories also made me feel sad, as the women at their centers either deserved better and didn't realize it at all, or when they finally did realize their value, there was no pay off, no good-for-her moment.
I do think that the stories are a good look at dysfunctional Irish families and show red flags in relationships in a different way than I usually see in stories or novels in the same vein.
While I'm honestly unsure of waht my overall feelings are for the collection, it had solid moments. My favourite story was "Belladonna" which told the story of a young girl observing the stability deteriorate in the couple across the road.
I will say that my biggest issue with the collection was from the author clearly not believing in dialogue markers. I should have noticed before purchasing the book, especially as it's a bit pet peeve of mine, but here we are. That being said, I'm not previously aware of Louise Kennedy's work and I'd like to try her full-length work at some point in the future,
I do think that the stories are a good look at dysfunctional Irish families and show red flags in relationships in a different way than I usually see in stories or novels in the same vein.
While I'm honestly unsure of waht my overall feelings are for the collection, it had solid moments. My favourite story was "Belladonna" which told the story of a young girl observing the stability deteriorate in the couple across the road.
I will say that my biggest issue with the collection was from the author clearly not believing in dialogue markers. I should have noticed before purchasing the book, especially as it's a bit pet peeve of mine, but here we are. That being said, I'm not previously aware of Louise Kennedy's work and I'd like to try her full-length work at some point in the future,
Study for Obedience by Sarah Bernstein
slow-paced
2.0
I didn't get it.
Half the time, I would read a sentence, and by the time I got to a period, I forgot how the sentence had started in the first place. Stream-of-conciousness is not my thing in the least and this was another example of why I'm not a fan.
The only good thing I can truly say about this book is I did like the atmosphere. However, that was not nearly enough for me to even begin to form a relationship with the personality-less narrator who just goes on and on about nothing. She is so frustratingly dull that I found it infuriating.
If you asked me what this novel is about, I would have to google it to tell you because I had no idea.
Half the time, I would read a sentence, and by the time I got to a period, I forgot how the sentence had started in the first place. Stream-of-conciousness is not my thing in the least and this was another example of why I'm not a fan.
The only good thing I can truly say about this book is I did like the atmosphere. However, that was not nearly enough for me to even begin to form a relationship with the personality-less narrator who just goes on and on about nothing. She is so frustratingly dull that I found it infuriating.
If you asked me what this novel is about, I would have to google it to tell you because I had no idea.
My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite
3.5
While I'm entirely unfamiliar with Nigerian culture and traditions, and felt that I stumbled here as there as a result, I was more curious about learning more than confused. In a lot of ways, it reminded me a lot of the style of East Asian stories that I've read over the years; in terms of tone and tradition vs. modern styles of dress/living/etc.
I really liked Korede as a narrator and her inner conflict regarding if she really should protect Ayoola or not creates a dynamic story. It adds to the question "which of them is the bigger monster?", though by the end of the book, that question changes to "who's behaviour is Ayoola really copying?" Ayoola, herself, is as interesting as she is bratty and - to a certain degree - gives me Amy Dunne (Gone Girl) vibes that didn't click until I started writing this review.
I think I was hoping for more thrills, more horror, but that was based on my expectations based on the title and I quickly accepted that this was more of a domestic thriller than horror. It was fast-paced and easy to read and I would still say it was a solid novel.
Below are some spoiler-filled after thoughts I have:
I'm really curious about the question of whether Ayoola is acting as she does because of the actions of their father on because Korede is the one who suggested they kill him. It's mentioned how Ayoola follows what her elder sister does and since it was Korede's idea to murder their abusive father, is that why Ayoola kills men when the relationships she has change? What change would be necessary? Does it have something to do with sex since their father was killed for attempting to pass Ayoola to a p*d*phile?
I have so many questions but, surprisingly, I'm more intrigued by these questions rather than annoyed by the lack of answers.
I really liked Korede as a narrator and her inner conflict regarding if she really should protect Ayoola or not creates a dynamic story. It adds to the question "which of them is the bigger monster?", though by the end of the book, that question changes to "who's behaviour is Ayoola really copying?" Ayoola, herself, is as interesting as she is bratty and - to a certain degree - gives me Amy Dunne (Gone Girl) vibes that didn't click until I started writing this review.
I think I was hoping for more thrills, more horror, but that was based on my expectations based on the title and I quickly accepted that this was more of a domestic thriller than horror. It was fast-paced and easy to read and I would still say it was a solid novel.
Below are some spoiler-filled after thoughts I have:
I have so many questions but, surprisingly, I'm more intrigued by these questions rather than annoyed by the lack of answers.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse and Domestic abuse
Minor: Pedophilia